


Sixty Degrees

by yminnie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Angst, Awkwardness, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Blow Jobs, Character Death, Dorms, Drinking, Eren Has Anger Issues, Eren Is a Little Shit, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Gay Male Character, Gen, Homosexuality, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, Love, M/M, Mikasa is Levi's cousin, Only in the alternate chapter, Parties, Sexual Content, Smoking, Students, Tea Drinking, University, alternate chapter, ereri, jeanmarco, levi is a dick, relationships, riren - Freeform, so much stupidity, these guys are stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:39:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 122,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4760210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yminnie/pseuds/yminnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi’s a dick. Eren likes dick. Eren likes Levi’s dick.. Eren likes books!</p><p>(This is the angstyest, stupidest most destructive thing I have ever written. Despite what the summary says this story is not for the faint of heart.. Read with caution, I'm sure there are plenty of triggers.)</p><p>-----Editing in progress!-----</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Character Profiles

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so over the last few months I have been working on a Ereri/Riren whatever you want to call it, story. It's not yet completed, so you'll have to bare with me for updates, which I'm hoping will be weekly.
> 
> This is a University AU story with Eren and Levi as the main pairing, as well as other minor pairings that will show up throughout the story.
> 
> For now this is only a character profile page, just so you can get a feel for each character and what they are actually doing in the story, as well as which way they swing and what not. I'm doing this because One, it helps me when I write, and Two, because I may not mention it so bluntly in the actual story.
> 
> Please leave a review, or a kudos, everything is appreciated.
> 
> And just on a side note I'm spelling Eren's last name as Yeager, because well that's how it's spelt. And Hanji will also be spelt as Hange. Don't like it, not my problem.
> 
> More tags will be added as the story progresses.

~~.~~

 

**Characters:**

 

 **Eren Yeager** -University student first year. Age 20. Studying creative writing and literature. Book worm. Dorms in Building H. ~~Totally not gay~~ , Totally is. Works at Sixty Degrees, one of the coffee shops on campus, he uh sucks.

 **Levi Ackerman** \- University student second year. Age 21. Studying audio engineering and sound production. Dorms in Building K. Bisexual, leans more towards guys though. He's an asshole. He's not a clean freak; he's only as clean as a regular person who likes to keep things tidy. Probably going to die of lung cancer someday.

 **Armin Arlert** \- University student second year. Age 20. Studying graphic design. Dorms in Building H. Totally gay. Helps out at the student union.

 **Jean Kirchstein** \- University student second year. Age 21. On a sports scholarship, studying sports science. Dorms in Building H. Totally straight, then totally bisexual, then totally gay.

 **Mikasa Ackerman** \- University student second year. Age 21. No relation to Eren. Levi's cousin. Studying sociology. Dorms in Building H. Totally straight.

 **Marco Bott** \- University student first year. Age 20. Studying psychology. Dorms in Building H. Totally gay. Works at Sixty Degrees with Eren, but is actually good at it.

 **Sasha Brause** \- University student second year. Age 21. Dorms in Building H. Studying culinary practices. Bisexual, leans more towards girls.

 **Erwin Smith** \- University student third year. Age 22. Dorms in Building K. Studying drama and production. He'll swing whichever way he pleases.

 **Zoe Hange** \- University student third year. Age 22. Dorms in Building K. Studying biomedical science. Is a female.

 **Eld Jinn** \- In his early thirties, owner of Sixty Degrees, one of the coffee shops on campus.

 **Petra Ral** \- University student second year. Age 21. Dorms in Building K. Studying sociology, has creative writing as one of her units. Straight. Is in love with Levi. 

 

~~.~~


	2. First Day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren and Armin struggle for breath on the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't going to post the first chapter until tomorrow, and just allow people to suffer, BUT I say to hell with it.  
> So here is the official first chapter of 'Sixty Degrees'.  
> Leave a kudos or review, and enjoy.  
> Updates will be on FRIDAYS!
> 
> And please enjoy my crappy sketch of Eren down the bottom, guy doesn't know the meaning of a brush..  
> I did it in like two seconds, shit..

For as long as he can remember Eren was always interested in books. In no way would he be classified as a stereotypical book nerd, because Eren only ever reads on occasion; while he’s lying on his bed just before he goes to sleep, while he sits in a café drinking coffee on a lazy day. Eren is intrigued by the stories people can tell, how a jumble of twenty six letters could ignite such strong emotions within him. He’s amazed by the courage and determination of the characters, how they put themselves on the line for love, to win a war and everything in between. Okay, so he’s a total book nerd, so what.

In fact his fascination with stories is what is urging him to write his own novel, so when he saw that the university on the other side of the country offered the perfect course for him to hone his creative writing skills; he knew he had to go.

And that’s how he finds himself standing outside the airport with two over stuffed suitcases and a duffel bag looking for some sort of vehicle that can take him to his dream school. He’s finally able to hail down a cab, how hard can it be to get a cab in this place? And after forcibly shoving his large suitcase into the boot, which was probably a bit too small for the task he gave it, he sits in the back seat duffle bag sitting next to him and tells the cab driver to take him to Hensullten University.

Eren tries to hide his excitement as he stands on the street after paying the taxi as he stares up at the huge University before him. Eren has looked at photos of it online sure, but they didn’t even come close to doing the University justice, it’s magnificent. Eren quickly closes his mouth, realising he was gaping, and sets about trying to find someone who can tell him where his dorm is. He walks through the wide front doors of the school, carefully trying to avoid the huge hoard of other students who are carrying their own suitcases. He makes his way out of the foyer and into the quad, his eyes immediately drawn to all the different stands that are set up all over the place. He lets his eyes scan over them looking for one that might be of use to him right now, soccer club, art club, writing club (he’ll come back to that one later), foreign exchange, drama club, and then his eyes spot the one he’s looking for.

**Tour the campus**

Eren walks over to the booth as best he can with his bags and looks down at the pamphlets laid out in from of him. He’s about to grab a map of the campus when a cheery voice startles him.

“Hey there!”

Eren lifts his head to see a young man about the same age as him with shaggy blonde bangs that reach almost down to his chin, the rest of his tick hair is pulled into a small ponytail at the back of his head, and big blue eyes smile kindly at him.

“Hey,” He replies.

“Your first year here?” The blonde asks him, his smile never wavering.

Eren nods his head, is it that obvious?

“Well in that case, welcome to Hensullten University, I’m Armin Arlert.” The man, Armin, sticks out his hand for Eren to shake. Eren places his duffle bag down onto the ground and shakes his hand firmly.

“Ah, Eren Yeager,” He’s shocked at the blondes genuine kindness.

“Well Eren since it’s your first day here you’re going to need a map of the campus, a list of all the clubs and societies we offer here -,” Armin rattles on while grabbing all different sheets of paper in front of him, but Eren’s focus is drawn to other things.

Eren’s gaze shifts to just behind Armin’s head, he doesn’t want to seem rude by not listening to the blonde but he simply cannot tear his eyes away from the man he’s spotted. He’s walking across the quad; Eren notices that people seem to shift themselves so they don’t get in his way, even at this distance Eren can see that he gives off a somewhat dangerous vibe. The long sections of his inky black hair move slightly with each stride he takes, Eren notices the bottom half has been cut into an undercut style shaved close to his head. He never thought an undercut could be so fucking hot. He notices his face next, his mouth set into a hard line, while his small eyes hold a bored expression that makes Eren wonder what he’s thinking about. He carries nothing but a set of keys dangling off of one finger and a laptop case tucked under his arm. He doesn’t even spare a glance at any of the people around him as Eren continues watching, before the man walks into another building and vanishes out of sight. He wants to see more of that man.

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by Armin shoving the papers he had picked out at Eren, seemingly done talking. “Oh thanks.”

“No problem,” He smiles.

When Eren doesn’t move Armin gives him a questioning look. “Is there something else I can help you with?”

He still needs to find out where his dorm building is. “Ah actually, I need to find my dorm.”

Armin’s smile returns to his face. “Sure thing, which building are you in?”

He kneels down to grab the sheet of paper he’d printed out earlier with his details, out of his duffle bag. “Ah Building H.”

Armin’s excitement doubles upon hearing his words. “That’s my dorm building as well; if you give me a sec I can walk you over there now myself.” He turns around to speak with a girl with dark brown hair worn high in a ponytail, she nods at whatever he says before he turns back to grin at Eren. “Okay let’s go.”

Armin comes around to Eren’s side of the booth and grabs one of the suitcases out of his hands.

“Hey, Armin you don’t have to do that.” He protests.

“As if I’d allow you to carry all three bags for another minute. Come on, it’s this way.” Eren has no choice but to follow after him, mumbling something under his breath about him being too nice.

The blonde rattles off about what all the buildings are used for and where things are on campus while they walk to their dorm. Eren tries his best to listen to what he’s telling him, but the guy talk’s way too fast and Eren can’t help but be distracted by the beauty of the buildings surrounding him.

When they reach Building H, Armin reaches into his pocket to grab a card that he swipes against a black box on the wall, a green light flashes as the door makes a clicking sound and they walk inside. The inside is even better than the exposed bricks of the outside. Eren looks around in awe as he stands in the doorway; the walls are painted a white that is just a bit off stark, as to not make the space feel like a hospital, the floors are a dark chestnut that runs as far as Eren can see. There’s a staircase off to the left side tucked away almost out of site. On the right side is another room that looks like it holds couches, but he can’t be sure.

Armin ushers him further inside and tells him to set his bags down. “What’s your room number?”

Eren looks at the piece of paper scrunched up in his hands again. “Ah, Room 419.”

Armin nods, his grin growing wider. “That’s just down the hall from me. Before we go up I’ll show you what’s down here.” He leads Eren over to the left side of the room first. “So here you have the staircase, just to let you know there’s no lift or anything so we’ll have to carry those bags up,” Eren shudders. “Next to it we have the bathrooms; there are common bathrooms on every floor for convenience.”

Eren nods.

“Now on the right side we have our common room, this is where you can watch television, study, do whatever you want really. It’s where all the people in the dorm usually congregate.”

Eren can now see the room fully as he steps past Armin looking inside. There’s a large flat screen television set up against the far wall, with three large couches facing it. A little further in is a large dining table surround by chairs. Armin leads Eren through a door at the back of the room, and Eren is gobsmacked. Before him is a fully set up extremely large kitchen. Complete with benchtops lining the far wall, two double doored fridges, an oven, and a breakfast bar in the middle of it all lined with stools. Eren can’t believe this.

He realises Armin has begun talking again when the blonde shakes his shoulder gently. “Huh?”

“I was saying that you’re in charge of your own breakfast, lunch and dinner. Any food you buy you can put in here, just make sure you label it all so people don’t snatch it.”

“Okay not a problem.” He doesn’t have a clue how to cook, but he smiles anyway.

“Alright that’s about all there is to show you down here, let’s head up to your dorm.” Armin says, beginning to walk out of the room to grab the bags.

 

They manage to make it half way up the stairs before Eren collapses, leaning over his suitcase as he tries to catch his breath.

“Ho- How much further is it?” He manages to get the words out between pants.

“It’s on the top level; we’re only on the second.” Armin replies, sympathetically.

Eren lets out a heavy sigh.

Armin looks down at him pathetically draped across his suitcase. “Come on, once we do this you’ll never had to do it again, so let’s just get it done.” He kicks the suitcase a little to rouse the brunette.

With those words Eren jumps to his feet ready to get this hell over with. He has a fleeting thought that maybe later he should start hitting the gym.

They reach the top of the stairs moments later, both bent over slightly to catch their breath.

“Wh-Which room was it again?” Armin asks between breaths.

“419.”

“Okay that’s this way,” Armin grabs the suitcase and immediately begins to walk down the hall. Eren stares after him, wishing he’d given him another minute to get himself together. He reluctantly picks up his remaining two bags and trudges after him.

Armin’s standing outside Eren’s dorm room by the time he gets there. He quickly grabs his key out of his pocket and opens the door. There’s a king single bed pushes against one side of the room, right opposite to a study desk and black swivel chair, a television hangs on the wall in just the right position so he can watch it from his bed. There’s a small bookcase tucked into the corner of the room, which Eren is happy about, now he won’t have to put all of the books he brought with him in piles on the floor. There’s a double door right at the end of his bed which Eren assumes is his closet, and a small square mirror hangs in the short entry way. The last thing in the tiny room is a little bar fridge which is oddly convenient. He chucks his duffle bag onto the unmade bed and places his suitcase on the floor next to it while Armin places the other suitcase he’s still holding beside it.

“So the bathrooms, which have toilets, showers, etcetera are just down the end of the hall, my room is three doors down from yours, number 416, so don’t hesitate to come knocking if you need anything.”

Eren nods, suddenly very tired.

An awkward silence passes between the two as Armin stands there not sure what to do next.

“Ah, okay well I’ll leave you to it so you can get settled in. I’ll come find you later and show you around campus properly,” Armin says with a smile, before turning to leave.

“Thank you, Armin,” Eren says, sincerely. He’s glad he met this guy.

The door clicks shut as Armin exits and he finally collapses on his bed.  He’ll start his university life after a quick nap.


	3. Flipped Off?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren stares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so yes I am aware that it is not Friday (when I said I would post updates) but you know what I don't particularly care, so you guys can have an early update. 
> 
> I figure, I'm sitting here doing nothing else but staring at the story and wondering what to do with it, so I am as well post a new chapter. After all Friday is only a day of I suppose. 
> 
> This chapter is also very short compared to all the others, but what can you do. Many people are introduced in this chapter. 
> 
> Anyway, leave a review, or a kudos, and I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also if you want to look down at the end of the chapter, I've included a picture of how Jean looks (with the hair and all) much better than my quick ten minute drawing of Eren last week. Jean Kirstein with a man bun is life.

Eren bounds down the four flights of stairs at eight am the next morning. He walks straight into the kitchen with a bounce in his step; Armin spots him immediately and gives him a warm smile.

“Cherish the mornings you feel like you do right now, they won’t last for much longer,” He says, grabbing another mug for Eren.

“Well good morning to you to,” Eren says, not focusing on Armin’s last words.

“How do you take your coffee?” The blonde asks him, looking over his shoulder.

“Strong, with a little bit of milk,” Eren replies, plopping himself down onto a stool at the breakfast bar.

Armin finishes making their coffees and sets Eren’s mug down in front of him. “Do you want to go have a look around the campus today?”

“Yeah that’d be great actually, it’s good to have someone with me who actually knows what they’re doing around here,” Eren smiles over his mug.

Armin opens his mouth to reply when he’s interrupted by a loud voice, “Arlert, know what he’s doing? I haven’t seen any evidence of that.”

Both boys turn their heads to see the cause of the interruption. A tall man stands there with ash blonde hair, which looks as though it’s tide into a small bun on the back of his head. The sides are a darker brown, prompting Eren to believe that the guy dyes it. He has small light brown eyes that immediately put Eren on edge. He stares at the man, who grins at them.

“Morning Jean, nice to see you back again this year,” Armin says, politely.

Jean, huh? What kind of name is that? Is this guy French, or are his parents just pretentious arseholes? The fact that the guy has no accent to support the theory, Eren goes with the latter.

Jean walks into the kitchen and sets about making himself his own coffee. He doesn’t turn around while he speaks, “See we got some fresh meat in here today.” It’s not a question.

“Oh yeah sorry, not with it completely this morning. Jean this is Eren, Eren this is Jean,” Armin says, waving his hand back and forth between them.

Jean turns around smiling at Eren and stretches out his hand, “Jean Kirchstein, second year.”

Eren shakes his hand firmly, “Eren Yeager, first year.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Yeager,” Jean replies, letting go of his hand and returns to making his coffee.

“I was going to take Eren for a tour around the campus; did you want to join us?” Armin pipes up.

Jean turns back around, coffee now ready in his hand, he takes a sip before replying, “Yeah I think I will, I only got here this morning and I still have to sign up for some clubs. Have you asked the others?”

Armin shrugs, “You’re the first person I’ve seen.”

Immediately the sound of feet shuffling comes from behind them; all three look over to see who the sound belong to. A moment later two people walk in, the first, a tall guy with short black hair, freckles and tanned skin. He has a very innocent look about him, he smiles when he spots the three already in the kitchen. The second is a girl, just a bit shorter than the man, with dark eyes and shoulder length black hair, when she sees the three in the kitchen her expression doesn’t change. Her outer composure reminds Eren of the guy with raven black hair he saw walking through the quad yesterday, and it’s then that he decides that he’ll do whatever it takes to find out who that guy is.

Armin waves to them, “Hey Mikasa, who’s this?”

The girl, Mikasa, looks bored as she glances over at the grinning black haired boy, “This is Marco Bodt, first year.”

Armin gives the boy a warm smile, “Nice to meet you. I’m Armin Arlert, this is Eren Yeager, first year as well,” he jerks his thumb behind him, “and that’s Jean Kirstein, second year.”

The smile never leaves the freckled boys face, “It’s nice to meet you all.”

“Ditto,” Eren and Jean both answer simultaneously.

Mikasa walks around the breakfast bar to make herself a drink, “I’m Mikasa Ackerman, second year by the way.” She says to the brunette, smiling kindly, Eren notices Jean blush slightly as she moves close to him to grab a mug from the cupboard; she doesn’t seem to notice.

Eren nods, “Nice to meet you.” He doesn’t miss the glare Jean shoots his way.

Armin ignores the weird exchange between the two boys. “So now that you’re here, we were just talking about showing Eren around campus, do you and Marco want to tag along?”

Mikasa shrugs her shoulders, “Yeah why not.”

Marco is a little more enthused, “That’d be great guys, thanks.”

~~.~~

After everyone finishes their drinks they head out of the dorm into the bustle of the other students keen to experience Orientation week. Armin talks about every building they see, Eren again only hears about half of it, as he’s found that when Armin gets excited his voice speeds up. So he nods and acts like he knows exactly what the blonde has just said. It’s just Armin, Eren, Marco and Jean now, Mikasa who had looked extremely bored the whole tour mentioned she had something to go do but she’d meet them in the cafeteria later. Everyone followed jean over to the club and society booths, Eren knows exactly which group he’ll be signing up for, writing club, the booth he’d seen on passing yesterday. He walks over to it, a pamphlet is immediately shoved into his face, he stumbles back a step before regaining his balance, and grabs the paper out of the person’s hand. They grin at him, everyone is so smiley around here, he quickly scribbles his name on the signup sheet and heads back to the others.

“Want to get some lunch?” Armin asks, upon his return.

He nods, and they make their way through the crowd into the cafeteria. They find a table towards the middle of the room, Eren excuses himself to go and get a drink, and by the time he returns the others have their food and Mikasa is back sitting right next to Jean who is once again blushing at her closeness. Does he have a thing for her or something? Eren decides to look into it further later.

“So Eren, what are you studying?” Marco turns and asks with a small smile.

Eren takes a quick sip of his water, “Ah, creative writing and literature.”

Marcos eyes light up with genuine curiosity, “That sounds really interesting. You like reading then?”

Eren shrugs, “Yeah I guess so.” He didn’t want them to think he’s a total book nerd. To get everyone’s attention off of himself he asks Marco. “What about you?”

Marco looks slightly shocked at the question, before lowering his eyes slightly, “Ah, psychology.” He’s so used to people thinking he’s trying to read their minds or manipulate them that he hates answering this question.

But Eren does none of that, instead he smiles warmly, “Psychology sounds like it would be awesome.” Marco’s eyes light up as he returns the smile, nodding enthusiastically.

“So have you been trying to like read our minds the whole time you’ve been with us or something?” And there it is.

Eren watches Marco’s eye drift back down to the table, he looks over at Jean with a sharp glare. “Shut the fuck up, Jean.”

“What the hell’s your problem, Yeager?” Jean fires back, not missing a beat.

“Don’t make fun of other people’s courses, what are you doing that’s so great?” There’s just something about this guy that ticks him off.

Jean looks momentarily stunned at the outburst, before composing himself and smirking. “Sports science.”

Eren just scoffs, turning to the others, “How about you Armin, Mikasa? What are you studying?”

“Graphic design for me,” Armin replies around a mouthful of food.

“Sociology,” Mikasa states.

This leads to a discussion between the table over whose course is better and more beneficial in the long run, Eren tunes out around the start and allows his eyes to drift around. He twists himself in his chair slightly to get a better look at the space, his eyes scan over the horde of bodies that are currently occupying the universities large cafeteria. And that’s when he spots him towards the back, seated at the table furthest away from the entry doors. He’s staring down at the seemingly untouched cafeteria slop on his tray as his two companions, a tall blonde man and a loud girl with messy brunette hair and square glasses, talk loudly to each other. From where Eren’s sitting it looks like the brunette is trying to explain something to the blonde. Eren allows his eyes to drift over each of them before they come to rest on the raven haired man again, he studies the sharp angle of his jaw and the skin under his eyes that have a slight dark tinge, Eren wonders what would keep him up at night.

Eren is staring.

He doesn’t realise this until he’s staring into cold grey eyes as the man looks right at him, he feels his cheeks heat up at being caught, but he doesn’t turn away. He’s utterly captivated by those steel eyes.

The man looks as if he’s studying his face; Eren doesn’t know what to do, but he knows there’s no way he can look away now. He’s suddenly painfully aware of the outfit he’d chosen to wear today, ripped jeans and a loose grey shirt that’s two sizes too big for him, that he picked up off the top of his suitcase he still hasn’t unpacked. The man’s expression gives nothing away as he looks at him, Eren has the crazy idea that he should get up and talk to the guy, but that thought is pushed far out of his mind and squashed under someone’s shoe when the guy raises his arm slowly and flips him off.

Eren’s eyes widen in shock. What the fuck? He looks away immediately, twisting himself back around in his chair to face his friends. He’s never even spoken to the guy before so there is no reason for his attitude towards him, maybe it was because Eren was blatantly staring at him, yeah that had to be it. Eren is now a creep in the man’s mind. Once he gets over his initial shock he twists his upper body slightly to peek subtly over his shoulder again, his dark blush returns as he spots the man still looking at him with an amused smirk resting on his lips. 

Everyone at Eren’s table looks at him with raised eyebrows having no idea what’s happened to the brunette. He looks up at their curious eyes, debating whether he should ask them about the raven haired man or not.

He decides he will.

“Hey do you guys know who that guy is?” He whispers, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

All four of them look over to where Eren is pointing; Mikasa rests her head on the table letting out a muffled groan.

Armin looks at her, and then over to Eren, “That’s Levi Ackerman, second year.”

“Levi,” Eren says softly, liking the way the man’s name rolls easily off his tongue. He looks over at Mikasa who’s still got her head on the table. “What’s up with you?”

“Levi is Mikasa’s cousin,” Armin pipes in again.

Eren nods, now knowing why she reminded him of Levi when he met her earlier.

He looks back over at Levi, glad to see he’s no longer looking this way. “So ah, Levi, what’s he like?”

“Levi, huh? I heard he punched some guy in the face last year just for looking at him.” Jean replies after some thought.

“Jean that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, nobody actually does that. They’d have to be insane.” Eren declares eyes wide with shock. He can’t he serious.

“Hey I’m just telling you what I’ve heard.” He moves his eyes over to where Levi sits completely oblivious to their conversation. “But I still wouldn’t want to get on the guy’s bad side.”

Mikasa leans over and grabs Eren’s hand reassuringly, “Oh don’t worry Eren, underneath that rough outer exterior he puts on, he’s actually a really nic-,” She pauses. “Actually no sorry I can’t even say that with a straight face. He’s actually just a dick, through and through.”

“How comforting,” He mumbles, not taking his eyes off of the man.

" alt="Jean Kistchstein" />

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must say I really feel for Marco in this chapter.  
> Doing a Psychology degree myself at university the amount of questions you get asked by your family and people you meet about what you're actually doing and if you've been studying them the whole time are quite frankly tiresome.  
> Yes people study psychology, are they interested in anything you might be thinking or the way your sitting? I'm most definitely not.


	4. Overreaction?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren spills his liquid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I've decided to just change the update day to every week on Thursday's instead of every week on Friday's. Just due to the fact that I can never seem to wait until Friday.
> 
> So I really like this chapter (Asshole Levi gives me life), it's strangely short for me, but they will be getting longer as the story progresses.
> 
> So please enjoy. Leave a kudos, or comment. Everything as always is appreciated.
> 
> And enjoy my little drawing of Levi, (the mental image may come in handy a little later)

 “Hey Eren, do you want to head to Sixty Degrees with me, see if they’ll hire us?” Marco asks, scaring the shit out of him as he rounds the corner into the kitchen, waving the application form in his hand.

Eren sits at the breakfast bar spluttering hot coffee everywhere as he chokes on it. He turns his head in Marco’s direction once he’s recovered. He stares at the form wearingly. “I don’t even have any experience in hospitality, they wouldn’t hire me.”

Marco’s smile doesn’t slip, “Only one way to find out.” He grabs Eren’s jacket off the chair where he’d put it near the door and throws it at him. “Come on.”

Eren lets out a loud sigh before pushing himself out of his chair; he washes his mug and quickly wiping his mess of the counter before following Marco grudgingly out of the dorm.

“So what’s got you so grumpy this morning?” Marco asks, glancing over at him.

He rubs at his eyes tiredly, “I didn’t get much sleep last night.” Truth is he was going over all the possible reasons Levi had for flipping him off like he had.

He’d managed to come up with three reasonable explanations.

One Levi is a dick.

Two, it wasn’t actually intended for Eren.

Three, Levi was swatting a fly.

In the end he had come to the conclusion that Levi does in fact not like people blatantly staring at him, which of course Eren can understand. But this conclusion still didn’t allow him to get much sleep. “So what about you, Marco, you ever worked in a café before?”

Marco turns his head forward, grinning from ear to ear, “Nope.”

Eren wishes he could share the guy’s optimistic attitude.

**~~.~~**

 

“Either of you ever work in a coffee shop before?” The manager, a young looking guy, in his early thirties, with light blonde hair pulled into a folded bun at the back of his head, small brown eyes and stubble on his chin, asks them.

“Ah no sir,” Eren pipes up first, better to tell the truth now rather than later.

The man looks at the two first years, “So you guys thought you’d stroll down here with no experience whatsoever and hope I’d give you a job?”

Marco and Eren look at each other, worriedly.

“Ah, yeah that’s pretty much it,” Marco says, cautiously.

He looks at the two younger boys for a good while before allowing a small smile onto his face. “Fine, the names Eld, now get behind that counter and show me what you can do.”

They both give him confused looks.

“R-Right now?” Eren stutters.

“Yes r-right now. Do you want the job or not?” Eld replies, ushering them behind the counter of the coffee shop.

Once they’re all inside he grabs two waist aprons and chucks them at the boys. “Put these on. Now what are your names?” 

“Eren Yeager.”

“And Marco Bodt.” Giant grin stretched across his face.

“Hm, okay freckles you seem almost too cheerful you can be on the till,” He looks over towards Eren’s more sombre expression, “You’ll be on coffee, Yeager.”

The first ten minutes Eren watches as Eld shows Marco how to correctly work the till and the correct ways to write each coffee order on the take away cups for the baristas. Marco picks it up almost too quickly, which leaves Eld to deal with Eren. Things certainly could be going smoother. Through this experience Eren finds himself to be rather clumsy. He’s constantly knocking over takeaway cups filled with espresso shots as he tries to keep them in order. On almost every try he over froths the milk, which is leading to a nice white puddle on the floor beneath him, that he’s slipped on three times already. It doesn’t help that Eld’s just standing there watching him like a hawk as he continues to mess everything up.

Marco serves the next person in line with a grin; he writes black tea on the cup and sets it to the side for Eren to make. When Eren sees tea written on the cup he almost cries out in joy, tea he can do. He puts the tea bag into the cup and tucks the label under the lip so it doesn’t fall in and fills it with hot water. Once full he places a lid on top and looks down at the name scrawled on the outside. His eyes widening as he reads.

“Ah, Levi,” No response.

“Black tea for Levi,” He says a little louder.

“Yeah I’m coming, hold on would you,” Says an annoyed voice off to the side.

When Eren makes eye contact with Levi he freezes, his eyes are like nothing he’s ever seen before. They look almost silver in the light that’s coming from the hanging lightbulbs overhead. Eren doesn’t realise he’s still gripping the cup until that annoyed voice speaks again.

“Are you going to stare at me all day, or are you actually going to give me my drink?”

Eren blinks, “Oh I’m sorry,” He trusts the cup forward a little too harshly into Levi’s fingers, causing the poorly put on lid to come off and boiling hot water to splash over Levi’s right hand. He drops the cup instantly, holding his burnt hand with his other one.

“Fuck!”

Eren doesn’t know what to do besides flail his hands like mad around Levi, “Oh my god, shit. I’m so sorry.”

Levi glares at him, “What the fuck did you do that for, you little shit?”

Eren stares at him stunned, as he stops his hands from moving. Yes he spilt tea on Levi, but obviously it was an accident, “I obviously didn’t do it on purpose. Here let me help you.” He beings to extend his arm towards the man again.

Levi looks at him as if he’s insane. “Don’t you fucking touch me.”

He stops mid reach and draws himself back behind the bench away from the fuming man.

“Just get me another tea,” He orders harshly.

Eren sets about making Levi another tea as quickly as he can. Levi waits until Eren places it on the bench before grabbing it with his unburnt hand and walks way, mumbling to himself about incompetent little shits.

He just stands there not able to believe what just happened. For one he can’t believe he had actually spilt Levi’s drink on him, but more than that he couldn’t believe Levi’s attitude towards the situation. Now Jean’s comments about him punching a guy seem a little more plausible.

He’s forgotten about the other people standing around until he looks up from the spill on the floor to meet Marco’s eyes. The freckled man‘s body is visibly shaking as he tries to contain his laughter, as he watches the horror slowly creep into the teal eyed man’s face he can no longer contain it. He grips his stomach and bends slightly as his laughter rips through him and sounds throughout the café. Eren flips him off angrily, and returns to the rest of his coffee orders.

Eld sends the boys home not long after with sheets for them to fill out and bring back to him so they can officially start work. Something about Marco being a natural and Eren having some hidden potential, Eren thinks Eld just likes watching him struggle, but at least they actually got hired. It’s practically dinner time when they arrive back at the dorm, Eren had ignored Marco for the short walk back due to him not having his back in the Levi situation, Marco found the entire ordeal hilarious.

They walk straight into the common area to find Mikasa, Armin and the girl with the pony tail Eren had seen with Armin in the booth on his first day, it’s strange to think that was only a week ago.

Armin is the first to see them, “Oh hey guys. Eren, Marco, this is Sasha Brause, second year.”

“Hey,” All three say in unison.

“So how’d it go?”

Eren doesn’t even get a chance to open his mouth before Marco has gripped onto his shoulder doubled over with laughter.

“That bad, huh?” Mikasa inquires.

Marco stops laughing for only a second, “Oh you have no idea.”

Eren knows there’s no way he can hide it now and tells those present about his experience with Levi.

“You know when you’re trying not to laugh but you just cannot physically hold it in anymore and it just explodes out of you, yeah that was pretty much my reaction.” Marco says when Eren has finished talking, not a shred of sympathy in his tone.

“I would have done the same thing,” Jean says, walking into the room laughing.

Armin gets off the couch and slings his arm around Eren’s shoulders, “We might have just the thing to cheer you up.”

Eren looks at his blonde friend, sceptically. “What?”

“A party,” Armin grins. “Erwin and Hange throw the best parties on the campus. Their dorm building is even bigger than ours, and they’re throwing a party tonight. What do you say?”

“But classes start tomorrow,” Eren and Marco both say.

“What’s your point?” Mikasa asks, “You’re in university after all.”

Eren thinks about it for a moment. After the embarrassing stunt he pulled with Levi today, he still can’t believe that that’s how his first time speaking to the dark haired man went. Perhaps he should drink, just to get his mind off it. “Fine I’ll go.”

“Good,” Armin says, walking into the kitchen. “We’re leaving in an hour.” He shouts.

With that Eren rushes up to him dorm room.

**~~.~~**

 

Mikasa walks through the quad trying to find the black hair of her cousin. She spots him leaning against a brick wall a little ways from her smoking one of his filthy cigarettes. She strolls up to him; he lifts his head to look at her as she approaches.

“Put that out right now, or I’m not coming any closer,” She says, referring to the cigarette between his fingers.

He stares at her with his cold eyes, silently challenging, when she refuses to back down he sighs, throwing the cigarette on the ground and stubbing it out with his shoe.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, my dear cousin?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Levi,” she says, resting her hands on her hips waiting for him to talk.

He lets out another annoyed sigh, “I went to that stupid café like you said.”

“Yeah, and?” She says, encouraging him to explain.

“The little fucker spilt my tea on me,” Levi sneers, holding up his right hand to show it wrapped in thin gauze.

“From what I heard you over reacted,” She replies, knowing he has a habit of snapping at people when they make mistakes.

“Mikasa, he spilt scolding hot water on me. My hand is fucked up,” He says angrily, pushing off the wall to look her straight in the eyes. He has to look up at her as he’s still a fair amount shorter than she is.

“Okay, well besides that, what do you think of him?” Mikasa asks this is the only thing she came here to find out.

“What should I be thinking of him?” Levi is shocked that Mikasa thinks he would care for anything about the guy except for the fact that he poured hot water on him.

“I’m not trying to put words in your mouth,” Mikasa states, bluntly.

Levi stares at her for a minute before gaping.

“You’re trying to set me and that little shit up, aren’t you?” He practically yells.

“I ah-,” Mikasa stutters, not wanting to be caught meddling, but knowing there’s no way to cover it up anymore. “Look it’s obvious the guy likes you.”

“What makes you think I would even go for him?” Levi asks, still outraged.

“Oh come on Levi, he’s a nice guy. And you need a little nice.”

Levi can’t say that he’s not intrigued by the guy, he actually found it rather amusing when the he stood up to him at the coffee shop. But still.

“I don’t need a nice guy,” He retorts.

Mikasa gives him a pointed look.

He sighs for the third time, staring right at his cousin. “I’m not making any promises.”

She grins at her small victory; they’re not easy to come by when she goes up against him. Maybe there is hope for Eren yet. “That’s enough for me,” She says, turning on her heel. “Oh and he’s studying writing, just in case you need something to talk about, if you’re not too busy sucking each other’s face,”  And begins to walk back towards her dorm.

" alt="Levi with glasses" />

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now tell me, Did Levi overreact?


	5. Intoxication?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Levi is poetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I did not realise that it was Thursday already. This week went by so fast.  
> Anyway, here is chapter four, this is actually the first chapter I ever wrote for this story, so effectively the one that started it all. So I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Leave a kudos, comment, anything and all is appreciated (:  
> Also if you want to ask me anything at all, send me a message, I reply to everything.
> 
> p.s. I was planning on putting a drawing of each of the characters with each chapter, but I forgot this week due to so much Uni work. But for anyone who is enjoying them, I will definitely try to have one up with next weeks chapter.

Eren doesn’t have a clue what to wear.

The hour he could have used eating instant ramen that he usually has for dinner, showering and looking presentable, he chose to spend picking out one pair of stupid pants and one stupid sweater. Not that he thinks he can go wrong with black skinny jeans, black vans and dark grey sweater, but you never know.

He walks down the hall to Armin’s room, hoping that he’s ready. He knocks once before it flies open and a hand grabs the middle of his sweater, roughly pulling him inside. “Armin, what the-,?”

“Quick tell me which ones,” The blonde says, holding up a pair of full black old school vans and a pair of all black converses.

Eren eyes the blonde’s outfit carefully, before deciding that the converse will look the best. “Converse, definitely.”

Armin nods and sits down on his unmade bed to put them on.

“You ready to go now then?” He asks

“Yeah, the others should already be down stairs waiting.” Armin replies, standing up and walking to his door.

They bound down the stairs together, two at a time, before coming to a halt in the dorm foyer where Mikasa, Jean, Marco and Sasha are waiting.

“Finally, let’s go,” Mikasa says, heading out the building door.

It’s only a short walk to the dorm building where the party is being held, Eren looks up and sees the letter K bolted onto the front of the building. The group walks to the front door, someone has stuck a large door stopper to keep the door ajar, allowing people to freely come and go as they please. The music grows louder as they enter immediately becoming part of the party as drunken bodies surround them. Mikasa is immediately swept up into the arms of a tall blonde man who Eren remembers seeing sitting with Levi in the cafeteria.

“Mikasa, you actually came,” he yells over the loud music as he swings her around.

“That’s enough, Erwin. Put me down,” He allows her to rest back on her own two feet and looks towards the rest of them. “Erwin you obviously know these guys, but this is Marco and Eren, two first years staying in our dorm.”

Erwin holds out his hand to a grinning Marco, “Nice to meet you mate.”

“Likewise,” Marco replies, shaking Erwin’s hand.

Erwin looks towards Eren, his eyes slowly rake up from his toes to his head making Eren squirm slightly. He finally holds out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Eren.”

“Yeah you to,” He replies, grabbing his hand.

“Well enjoy your first university party, kids. Alcohol is in that room there, help yourself and if you need anything at all, just come find me.” Erwin says, gesturing to the room where the alcohol is.

The group walks in that direction, Eren notices Mikasa stays behind with Erwin, he just manages to catch the last bit of their conversation, and it immediately puts him on edge.

“So that’s Eren, huh?”

“Yeah, so what do you think?” Mikasa asks, neither of them looking his way.

“I think there’s a chance of it working, but you know how he is,” He replies. Who the hell are they talking about? And why are they talking about him?

The volume of the voices in the room increase, when he can no longer hear them he picks up his pace and follows the others to get drinks.

~~.~~

He stands around with his little group for the first half of the night while they hand him drinks, he doesn’t think he’s had enough to be drunk yet, but he’s got a nice buzz going. His new friends have introduced him to so many people, some from his own dorm building and some from others that all their names and faces have blurred together. He figures he’ll only see them at these parties, and when that time comes he’s sure he’ll be drunk enough to at least pretend like he remembers them.

~~.~~

A little while later Eren splits from his friends, not interested in the game of beer pong they had started up. He walks through the dorm building; it looks pretty much the same as building H, only bigger and with a lot more people in it. He sets about finding the bathroom, hoping it’s in the same place as it is in his own dorm, he turns around and that’s when he sees him. All shiny black hair and bored expression walking through the throngs of people that are occupying the common room. Eren watches him as he walks towards the entrance doors and exits the building. Eren wants to go after him and apologize once again for what happened at the coffee shop earlier in the day. He waits for a few minutes to pass; he doesn’t want Levi to think he’s following him, before walking the same path through the packed bodies as Levi just had.

The chill hanging in the air hits him as soon as he steps outside; he wraps his arms tightly across his chest in a vain attempt to keep his body warmth with him. He stands just to the side of the entry way and looks out into the dark for any sign of Levi. He spots him a little ways away, sitting on a wooden bench chair. He’s facing slightly away from Eren, but the brunette can still see his elbows are resting on his thighs as he looks out into the darkness of the campus. Eren watches as he lifts his hand up to face and breaths in, before a haze of grey smoke is swirling around in front of him.

Eren walks up to him slowly, his body shivering.

“Is this seat taken?” He asks gesturing to the other side of the wooden bench Levi is sitting on.

He merely gestures with his hand, indicating that Eren can sit. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Levi speaks in an emotionless tone. “You’re Eren, right?”

“Yeah, Eren Yeager, first year,” He sticks out his hand for Levi to shake.

Levi looks between Eren’s face and his hand; he does not raise his own scoffing instead. “Well Eren Yeager, first year, what are you doing out here?”

Eren wasn’t really sure how to answer that, yes he could easily say that he had come looking for Levi because he wanted to apologize for earlier as well as thinking the guy might want some company, but somehow saying that out loud to the man himself seems too risky. So he goes with his second safer thought, “Just needed some fresh air.”

Levi lets out a harsh laugh, looking back out into the night. “You came to the wrong place for that.”

Eren looks at him questionably before his eyes are drawn down to the cigarette balancing between Levi’s first and second finger. “Any air is better than what is inside.”

“Right and you just wanted the pleasure of my company,” Levi answers bluntly, not looking over at the brunette.

His tone frustrates Eren, “Look I just came outside to get some air, and lots of the people in there aren’t considerate enough to take their smoking outside. The fact that you’re out here doesn’t mean squat.” He finishes with a huff, half expecting Levi to turn and punch him, but he doesn’t say a thing. And that’s how they sit, in a not completely comfortable silence for an extended amount of time, before Eren decides to speak again.

“You know I actually wanted to apologize again for spilling your tea on you. I really didn’t mean it. It was my first day on the job today and I just, well there’s no excuse really,” He’s well aware of his rambling, “Look the point I’m trying to make is that I’m sorry, it must still be pretty painful.”

He looks down at Levi’s hand to assess the damage, only to find both his hands covered by black fingerless gloves.

“It’s fine,” Levi replies, as they once again fall into silence.

Eren sneaks glances at Levi every so often, watching the way his lips curve around the cigarette as he takes long drags. He can’t help but think about those lips wrapping around something else, and now that this thoughts have begun to go rapidly downhill he speaks.

He points down to the cigarette in Levi’s hand, “You know those things are like the worst thing for you, right?”

Levi glances at him, takes another drag and blows the smoke harshly into Eren’s open mouth causing him to let out a spluttering cough as he shoots Levi a glare.

Levi continues to look at him blankly. “How about you write a story about me. How the cigarette looks like a beautiful lifeline as it hangs gently between my lips. How your heart picks up just a little bit when I inhale slowly allowing the smoke to fill my lungs before releasing it through my slightly agape lips. How you sit there as it ghosts over your own lips as you imagine what it’d be like to kiss me.”

Well Eren wasn’t thinking about kissing him exactly.

He sits there staring at Levi wondering how poetic bullshit like that just came out of the raven haired man’s mouth. “What the fuck, Levi?”

Levi leans towards Eren the cigarette still dangling from his lips, his hands now resting on the bench so close to Eren’s thigh. “I heard you write stories, is that correct?”

How does Levi even know that? He only nods, fearing his voice might betray him, Levi is so close.

So close.

“Then write about me.” He leans back again to properly gage Eren’s reaction. He’s satisfied when Eren sit’s there his mouth opening and closing like some sort of fish as a red blush spreads across his cheekbones.

Neither of them speaks for a while; Levi eventually finishes his second cigarette and stubs it out on the bench beside him. Eren takes the moment to speak.

“I don’t think that would be beautiful.”

Levi stares at him questionably, “And why’s that?”

Eren blushes. “I don’t think you dying would be a beautiful story.”

Levi is momentarily shocked at Eren’s forwardness; though he manages to cover it with one of his usual witty remarks. “Whoa easy their kid, no one’s dying here.” And with that he stands up and walks back inside, leaving Eren dumfounded as he remains rooted to his seat.

~~.~~

Eren is getting drunk. Like really drunk.

His conversation with Levi is still fresh in his brain; he still can’t get over what he had said. Write about him? Why would Levi want Eren to write about him? Unless he was just making fun of him, which could easily be the case. He finds his friends still immersed in their game of beer pong in the common room and asks if he can join. A cheerful chorus of ‘yes’ is shouted at him as Armin grabs him demanding that Eren play on his team. Time passes pretty quickly after that, Eren feels his mind getting hazier and hazier with every drink he takes.

If nothing else comes out of this night, at least Eren now knows that he sucks at beer pong.

During the time he’s playing Levi walks in and sits down on one of the couches facing the table. Eren wonders for a second why the man is not drinking, but puts it out of his mind when he once again misses his shot.

He looks over at Levi every now and again always finding the man staring at him intently with his cold grey eyes, if Eren wasn’t as drunk as he was it might have put him on edge, instead it makes Eren cocky.

Levi is staring at him and only him.

As the night wears on the players begin to dissipate before the game ends completely, much to Eren’s displeasure. It’s at this time when Levi gets up off the couch and begins walking out of the room. This time Eren boldly follows him straight away. It’s not until Levi gets to the first flight of stairs leading up to his dorm room that he realises the teal eyed boy is behind him.

“What do you want?” He snaps, turning around to face the brunette.

“I ah, I just wanna spend more time with you,” Eren answers, swaying slightly on his feet.

“I’m going to bed, you should go back to your room, Eren Yeager,” Levi says, turning back around and beginning to ascend the staircase.

Eren stands still for a moment thinking over what Levi had just said; perhaps what he’s doing is a bad idea. But he just grins to himself and begins following Levi once again.

Levi gets to the second floor and begins walking down the hall to his room, closely followed by Eren who’s stumbling into the corridor walls on occasion. Levi grabs his key from his pocket and opens his door quickly, hoping he can shut it before Eren reaches him. He thinks his plan has been successful until a black sneaker is stopping his door from closing.

“You think it’s okay to follow people up to their rooms without permission do you, Eren Yeager?” Levi tries to shut the door harder on the taller man’s foot.

The brunette gives him a dopey grin, “You never said not to.”

Levi sighs; he doesn’t want to deal with this guy’s drunken ass right now. He doesn’t even know the guy. Before he gets the chance to do anything else Eren has pushed the door open, making Levi stumble backwards. The brunette closes the door firmly behind him, and stands in Levi’s passageway with a victorious grin on his face.

“What the fuck? Get out,” Levi yells harshly once he regains his balance.

“I don’t think you want me to,” Eren replies taking a brave step closer.

Levi hadn’t realised how much taller the brunette was than him now that he stands so close. He smirks. “What gave it away, me telling you to get out, or the fact that you practically barged your way in here?”

“I think you want me,” Eren states completely ignoring what Levi had just said as he takes another step closer.

A small sober part of Eren’s brain is telling him to stop, to just apologize and get out of the room. But the larger more stubborn drunk part of Eren’s brain is cheering him on for making it this far.

“Ha, a little shit like you? I don’t think so.” Levi turns around and walks away from Eren as he heads to his bedroom. “Now get out, I’m sick of having to look at your face.”

Eren does not leave; instead he follows behind Levi closely. Once they both enter the bedroom Levi looks over towards the tall man, he stands there clad in only his tight jeans and shoes staring at Levi.

When did he have time to remove his sweater?

The raven haired man takes this time to look the younger man over, he admits that the guy has a nice body but that does not excuse the fact that he barged his way into his dorm and refused to leave. Levi sighs, getting ready to tell him to get out again when the man is suddenly standing right in front of him, Eren wastes no time closing the distance between them his bare chest flush against Levi’s jumper and crashes their lips together. The raven haired man’s eyes open wide, fury sparking within them. When Eren grabs the back of Levi’s head in an attempted to deepen the kiss Levi puts both his hands on his chest and pushes.

Maybe if Eren wasn’t drunk he might have had a chance at remaining upright, but as it were he was overly intoxicated and quickly loses his footing, pulling Levi down with him. As Eren lies on his back in a daze, the raven haired man decides to use the opportunity to put his artistic talents to work, grabbing a permanent marker from his bag lying on the floor he removes the cap and begins pressing it against Eren’s face, causing the brunette to mumble quietly in protest. A minute later Levi recaps the marker and stares down at his handy work grinning to himself before getting off a now passed out Eren. He walks down the corridor in search of the brunettes sweater, upon retrieving it he stalks back to his room and chucks it on the man’s chest, there’s no way he’s dressing him. He changes his own clothes and gets into his bed, giving one last glance at Eren’s sprawled out form on his floor.

Tomorrow is going to be fun.


	6. Phallus?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren sports a questionable fashion choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I am posting chapter five tonight instead of tomorrow because tomorrow is going to be a really busy day for me as I have to complete my university assignments. It's a drag I know, but someone's got to do it.. So I'm not sure I'll find the time to post the chapter, so I thought instead of making you wait until Friday, I'll just post it now.
> 
> Also I realise that this story actually has a slow build. So for any of you who came here and are now wondering when the fuck the two idiots are finally going to bang, I will tell you now that the beginning of the next chapter (Chapter Six) gives you a little taste into that side of the story.
> 
> This chapter also marks the beginning of the longer chapters, so be prepared for the chapters to get longer and longer each week. I think the last few ones I've written are up around the 6,000 word mark, so yay for that I guess.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the early update for those who are still up (I don't know it's 10:41pm here, so..) and as always leave a kudos or a review/message. I enjoy hearing what you guys think and I respond to everyone.

Eren wakes up the next morning on the hard floor of Levi’s bedroom with a dick on his face.

Of course Eren isn’t aware of this as he looks around the room slowly to get his bearings.

This is not his dorm room.

He sits up slowly rubbing at the sore spot on the back of his head as he takes in his surroundings. He slept on the floor last night, he knows that. But it’s not his floor. He shivers against the cold wood, looking down at himself he sees his sweater crumpled up resting in a ball on his chest, he briefly hopes that he didn’t do anything sexual last night as he pulls it back over his head. He gets to his feet looking around the bedroom; the bed is made, but previously slept in. He staggers out of the bedroom and into the short hallway; he wanders to the left being drawn by the sweet aroma of coffee wafting from that direction.

He rounds the corner to find a small kitchen, complete with a table and chairs set up in the middle. He spots Levi with his back to him, his fingers tapping against the hard bench top as he waits for something. Eren clears his throat loudly, confused about how he ended up in Levi’s dorm room, why did the guy even let him in? The raven haired man turns, an annoyed scowl on his face but he doesn’t say anything, leaving Eren to stand awkwardly in the door way. Levi finishes what he was doing and turns around again placing a steaming mug, due to the strong smell Eren assumes its coffee, onto the table.

“Sit down and drink it,” Is all he says before walking out of the kitchen the same way Eren had just come from.

He sits at Levi’s coffee table hot coffee mug in hand and head pounding as he tries to think of how he ended up here. Levi’s walking around somewhere in his dorm, which is making Eren feel awkward for being here. Not a moment later Levi reappears in the kitchen again looking at Eren hunched pathetically in his chair.

“Are you going to hurry up and drink that?” He asks, harshly.

Eren lifts his head slowly to look at the man in front of him. “Wha?”

“Can you hurry up and drink that?” Levi asks again, slower this time, as if Eren were a small child.

Eren takes two quick gulps finishing the coffee, wincing a bit as the hot liquid burns his throat. He gets up off his chair, his head still pounding as he moves slowly towards the sink. Levi watches him like a hawk as Eren washes the mug and sets it on the rack to dry.

“Good,” Levi says once he’s finished. “Now get out.”

Eren whips his head around and immediately regrets the action, his brain feels like its swirling around in his skull; he can’t believe what he just heard.

“You heard me, get out of here.” Levi says again, his voice like ice.

Eren doesn’t say anything as he looks around for his phone, now wanting nothing more than to get away from Levi and his shitty attitude. He notices something quickly coming toward his face; he focuses in time to catch the hard object Levi has just chucked at him.

His phone.

“Now hurry up,” The shorter man says, beginning to usher Eren out the door.

Eren stumbles over his feet as he’s practically pushed out of Levi’s dorm room. He turns around quickly and manages to get out, “Levi, wha-?”

Why is Levi smirking?

The door is slammed in his face.

~~.~~

Eren walks slowly across campus to his first class, having been kicked out of Levi’s apartment he realises he’s running late, so instead of going back to his dorm to change like he should, he decides to just stalk off to his first class. He’s absolutely fuming, and wouldn’t be surprised if his body is physically shaking with his maddening rage.

Who does that little fucker think he is? His attitude is getting on Eren’s last nerve.

He sits down in the lecture room just as his professor walks in, he look down at his feet expecting to see his school bag, and sighs upon remembering the reason why he doesn’t have it. He doesn’t even have a pencil or paper so he pulls out his phone and opens notes, getting ready to take down the information that way.

 

All through class he catches people giving him quick glances, at first he brushes them off as just annoyances, but then he catches a group of girls looking at him and laughing. Levi hadn’t even given him the chance to look at himself in the mirror so he assumes he looks like complete and utter shit.

He wouldn’t even mind if he looked this way due to an amazing one night stand he’d had the night before, unfortunately his reality means he passed out on some asshole’s floor and got kicked out as soon as he woke up. So all the weird looks he’s getting from people are making him feel uneasy, he’s not a bad looking guy so he shouldn’t look that horrible right now. He sticks it out for the rest of class, though he has no choice, and gets up quickly when the hour is up eager to get out of here. He’s walking across campus when he hears yelling.

“Hey Yeager, what’s up?” Jean’s voice sounds from somewhere close by. Eren whips his head around to answer the guy, when an arm wraps around his shoulders and Jean’s body connects with his.

“Oh hey Jean. Just walking to my next class.”

“What did you get up to last night? You suddenly just left,” Jean asks, looking at him intently.

Eren looks up at him with bleary eyes, even after his first class he’s still too hungover to be fully awake. “I have no idea. I woke up on Levi’s floor though.”

“Levi, huh? Well that explains it.” Jean says, chuckling.

What was this guy’s problem?

Explains what?

“Alright Yeager, I’ve got to get to class. See you back at the dorm later, I want to hear every disgusting detail,” He winks before he begins to walk off. Jean stops for a moment, before looking back over at him, “Eren, you do know there’s a dick on your face right?”

Eren’s eyes widen into orbs of horror as Jean bursts out laughing as he turns around again and jogs to his next class.

That fucking midget.

~~.~~

As soon as Jean tells him of his current situation he automatically sprints towards his dorm, rest of his classes be damned, he wants to see the evidence for himself. He bounds up the four flights of stairs, completely ignoring his friends when they call out to him, he reaches his door in a huff and fumbles with his key as he tries to put it in the lock. He gets it on the fourth try and practically rips it open running straight for the small mirror hanging on his wall. This whole time he thought Jean might have been playing a prank on him, but the truth is now staring him right in the face.

Eren stares at himself, he’s actually surprised to see that he doesn’t look half bad considering he got drunk and passed out on the floor last night. The problem is the black marker that sits proudly on his right cheek. He can’t stop himself from appreciating the care and detailing that went into the creation of the large dick on his cheek. That is until he remembers he was made to sit through class with this.

Levi didn’t stop at just an outline either, no there’s shading and extra definition in the lines to make them pop. And is that a vein? There is no denying that this is what the students in his class were staring out. The drawing is so big and defined that even someone standing some meters away would be able to tell what it is. He sighs, promising to get the asshole back.

He walks over to his desk and grabs his water bottle and a tissue, ready to get this shit off. He rubs the wet tissue against his face, hoping he won’t end up with a black smudge on his cheek but figuring it’s better than a dick. He pulls the tissue away and stares at his face again.

“Fuck,” he yells, as the drawing remains on his cheek in all its glory. Not a single detail smudged.

He stomps over to his bag of toiletries on the ground grabs it, a towel and some fresh clothes and exits him room walking down the hall to the shared bathroom. He stands at the vanity and shoves his bag down roughly, the lighting is better in here which at this moment Eren isn’t glad for, perhaps he does look a little worse than he first thought. He figures he may as well just have a shower while he’s in here, he’s not stepping anywhere near anymore of his classes until this monstrosity is off of his cheek.

He stands under the warm water, letting it rush down his body as it washes off all the grime from the night before, he didn’t realise how messy he got whilst playing beer pong until he finds sticky patches on his skin from the alcohol. When he’s finishes washing the rest of his body he turns his attention to his cheek, puts some face wash onto a flannel* and begins to vigorously scrub. He doesn’t stop when it starts to feel raw, only wanting to be rid of the marker.

Having spent a significant amount of time scrubbing at his cheek he exits the shower, pulling his towel around him and drying himself off. He walks over to the mirror quickly to check his face, the first thing he sees is a bright red mark, knowing that it’s only from scrubbing at it he figures it will fade away soon. He stares at his cheek a little more, praying that there is no marker remaining; his stomach drops as he can still see the outline of the dick, not as noticeable as before, but still there. He knows there is nothing else he can do about it at the moment so with a sigh he exits the bathroom.

He grabs his backpack out of the bottom of one of his suitcases; he’ll have to finally unpack those later today. He figures he should head to the library to get his books for the semester plus maybe grab a novel or two, and with the day and night he’s had so far he knows that being amongst the smell of books will put him at ease.

He makes it down the stairs and out the dorm without being stopped by any of his friends, the redness on his check has gone down but it’s only made the faint outline of the dick more noticeable against his cheek. He doesn’t particularly wish to explain how it happened, knowing that Jean has probably already told them. He walks across the quad in the direction he hopes the library is.

A few minutes later he finds himself relaxing amongst the huge selection of books the University’s library has to offer. There’s not as many students here as he had expected there to be, most of them had probably gotten their books during orientation week like he should have, but he was glad he waited, preferring there to be less people here now. He runs his hands along the spines of the books on the shelves looking for the ones he’ll need for his course. He grabs a large hard covered book out the title ‘ _Introduction to Creative Writing_ ’ written down the spine, he opens it up surprised to see how detailed it actually is.

He begins reading a paragraph when,

 “Oi, Eren, over here,” Someone shouts out to him, he cringes; obviously this person doesn’t know the meaning of the word library.

He turns around looking for the source of the voice and spots Erwin sitting with Levi, who has his feet uncaringly resting on the chair in front of him, at a square table off to the side of the library. He spots a girl with them, who seems to be the person who yelled at him, she’s waving her hands in the air like some lunatic trying to get his attention, does he know her? He tucks the book under his arm and begins making his way over to them.

“Oh it is you, come sit with us,” She says loudly again, pulling out the chair Levi had his feet on. Levi’s feel fall to the floor with a loud thud as he glares coldly at her. She doesn’t seem to notice.

Eren sits down awkwardly looking at each of them not sure what to do. The girl with the messy dark brown hair and square glasses holds out her hand, “I’m Hange Zoë , but just call me Hange. I room in the same dorm as these two idiots.”

He grabs her hand, giving it a firm shake, “And I’m E-,”

“Oh I know who you are, I’ve heard so much about you,” She says excitedly, cutting him off.

He glances over at Levi, who isn’t looking at him, “But how? I mean I’ve only been here a week.”

“You’re in the same dorm as Mikasa and the others, we’re all such great friends,” She responds, practically draping herself across Eren.

“Oh right, I guess that makes sense,” He replies scratching the back of his neck.

Levi suddenly leans towards him, grabbing his chin and yanking his head to the side. **“** Eren Yeager, it looks like you’ve got something on your face. You liked it that much you decided to keep it, huh?”

“It wouldn’t come off,” Eren mumbles, as Levi keeps hold of his chin.

He’d forgotten all about it since coming to the library.

“How was your morning?” The raven hair man asks casually, releasing Eren’s chin and leaning back in his chair, smirking.

Eren’s not sure if the guy’s making fun of him or what, but he decides to answer truthfully, “It could have gone better actually.”

“Oh yeah, and what could have made it better?” He asks, placing his elbows on the table and leaning forward.

“If I hadn’t walked into class with a drawing of a dick on my cheek,” Eren snaps, bitterly.

“Huh?” Hange pipes up; she practically lunges out of her chair towards Eren, grabs his chin and turns his head just as Levi had done, though Levi had been gentler about it. She laughs out loud upon seeing the outline still present and twists Eren’s head further so Erwin can see Levi’s handy work. The tall blonde lets out his own laugh.

“I mean I literally drew a dick on your face and you waltzed around campus with it proudly displayed on your cheek, I just assumed you liked it,” Levi says again, his tone of voice makes Eren gain control of his neck movements again and turns to him, glaring.

“This is your doing, Levi?” Erwin asks, eyes shining with laughter.

Levi shrugs, still looking at Eren, “I’ve been meaning to try my hand at drawing for a while, and the opportunity was there so I took it.”

Eren sits there his mouth wide open gaping at Levi, how can he sit there and be so casual about it? The guy had literally drawn a dick on Eren’s face and then kicked him out of his dorm this morning effectively ruining his day, and Erwin and Hange sit there laughing as if this is normal behaviour for the dark haired man. What kind of guy is he?

“Aw Levi, you’re making the poor kid uncomfortable. Cut him a break,” Hange says, moving closer to Eren.

Levi shrugs again, but doesn’t reply.

Hange looks back at Eren, “I hope Levi’s actions haven’t put you off hanging with us.”

Eren’s eyes flick over to meet Levi’s grey ones as he watches him closely. “N-No, it’s okay.” He silently curses himself for stuttering.

Hange’s eyes light up, “Good, that means you’ll come to our little get together next week.”

“Ah, I don’t see why not.” He replies.

Levis cold gaze is starting to make him squirm in his seat, he just wants to get out of here as soon as possible.

He’s not so sure agreeing was the best thing he could have done.

He stands up from his seat; all three eyes follow his movements. “I should get going; I have classes to get to.”

“Okay, Eren. We’ll see you later then,” Hange says, her gaze drifting between Levi and Eren, her eyes lighting up slightly.

Not wanting to answer any more questions, he quickly gives them a nod, immediately cursing himself for doing so, and practically runs out of the library.

He’s not going to class, instead he stalks back to his dorm, Levi’s gaze having racked his nerves to such an extent that he’s trembling.

 

_*For anyone who doesn’t know, a flannel is a face cloth or a wash cloth, I’m Australian and that’s what its most commonly called over here._


	7. Dreams?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren has a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Thursday the day you obviously all count down the minutes to each week.
> 
> Ah, I don't really have anything much to say this week except for, there IS yaoi smut in this chapter. It is right at the start so if you're not into that you can skip down to the first (~~.~~) you won't miss anything important if you decide to skip.
> 
> I'm really excited to get these next few chapters out. There is angst, there is shouting and there is fights (emotional fights. Get ready for a lot of these, because I love to write them.)
> 
> As always enjoy. Leave a review, or kudos. Everything is appreciated and replied to.

Eren sits at his desk hunched over a critique for one of his short stories he has to hand in next week, he’s always loved the writing part but when it comes to criticizing his own work, it has felt weird and always ended up bringing his marks down. At the moment Eren has given up on it, instead pulling out his writing pad and adding a few kinks to a story he’s half way done writing, Levi told him to write about him, and write about him he has. But he’s finding it difficult to write about the man as he hasn’t had, in truth that much interaction with him, which leaves him, frustrated.

Just as Eren’s working over his story with his red pen his dorm room door creaks open, revealing the man himself dressed in loose fitting sweatpants and a tight black shirt. He shuts the door, turns the lock and strides into the room filled with determination. Eren watches him as he comes to a stop in front of the chair he’s half turned around in.

“Levi, wha-,” he starts, looking up at the older man.

“Shh,” Levi says, placing his finger to the younger boy’s lips effectively stopping any sound from coming out of his mouth.

Levi swirls Eren’s chair back around to face his desk, he puts his hands on Eren’s shoulders and begins to knead them into the muscles.

“Keep working,” he says lowly. He can feel Levi’s hot breath brush against his ear, a shiver runs down his spine at the sensation.

Levi’s hands begin to move lower across his chest, lightly tracing over his clothed nipples before moving further down. His slender fingers play with the hem of Eren’s shirt before diving underneath, Eren gasps at the coolness of Levi’s hands as they work their way over the contours of his stomach. He wishes he could see Levi, but the position the man has him in makes it impossible. Levi moves his hands higher again up toward Eren’s nipples; he pinches them both slightly, causing the brunette to let out another gasp. Satisfied the dark haired man moves his hands down, ghosting them over the crotch of Eren’s sweatpants. The older man brings his right hand up to grab the elastic band of Eren’s pants and lets it snap back against the flesh, the brunette is shocked at the pleasurable sensations it gives him. Levi moves his left hand back up to play with Eren’s nipple, as he runs his lips against his neck, nipping at it. The brunette lets out a low groan feeling Levi smirk against his skin. Eren feels a hand working its way under the band of his sweatpants, palming at him through his boxer briefs, there’s no doubt in his mind that Levi can feel him harden at his touch. Damn the man has hardly even touched him yet, only ghosting touches, and he’s already got Eren this worked up. Levi suddenly changes the position of his hand so he cups Eren fully; the brunette lets out another low moan and squirms slightly while Levi holds him firmly in place. He dips his hand into the waist band of his underwear and he shudders, finally feeling Levi’s hand on him. He closes his eyes and just allows himself to feel everything that Levi is doing to him; he lets out low groans as the man strokes his hand up and down his length.

His eyes flash open suddenly as the hand is rapidly pulled out of his pants and the chair is spun around, Levi stands before him face as expressionless as ever. You’d think the guy didn’t just have his hand down Eren’s pants.

Before the brunette manages to say anything Levi sinks down to his knees, pushing his legs open wider with his hands. Eren stares down into the man’s grey eyes, waiting for him to do something, anything. He wants to say something, but he’s afraid if he speaks now the whole thing will be ruined. He feels two hands tugging at the waistband of his pants again; he lifts his hips up off the chair slightly, allowing Levi to pull both his pants and underwear down to his feet, leaving him completely exposed from the waist down. Levi stares at him, and for once Eren doesn’t feel the least bit self-conscious, only wanting him. The man suddenly grips him hard, wrapping his hand around the base of Eren’s dick and stroking upwards, letting his thumb brush over the tip collecting the pre cum that had formed there and brings it down over the length of him. Eren cannot physically do anything besides stare down at the top of Levi’s head as the man lazily strokes him, Eren wants to touch him to, but the man has never given him the opportunity.

He lets out a loud groan as he feels Levi’s hot mouth engulf the top half of him, his hand still stroking the base of him slowly, and god it’s just as Eren imagined it would be when he first saw Levi smoking his cigarette at the party. Eren wants to scream at him to go faster, do anything, but he doesn’t want to chance ruining this. He opens his eyes again to find Levi staring up at him with lust filled eyes as he descends on Eren, taking him further into his mouth, he moans louder feeling Levi hum against him. He pulls off slightly to run his tongue along the tip before talking him fully into his mouth again. Eren’s hands grip the arms of the chair to stop him from thrusting up into Levi’s mouth. He didn’t realise how built up he was until this moment, those eyes keep on him almost daring him to cum and as Levi hums once more against Eren he knows there’s nothing he can do as he lets himself go, Levi stays where he is waiting as Eren finally releases.

Eren jolts upright taking in his surroundings as his eyes struggle to focus in the darkness. Something doesn’t feel right; he lifts the sheets that have somehow become twisted up around his legs, he feels wet. Why does he feel wet? He pulls the sheet away completely to find the cause. He throws himself back against his pillows with a ‘dammit’, he thought he was over having wet dreams. He’s only ever had one real conversation with the guy and it left him more confused than ever. He shouldn’t be letting Levi affect him like this. He lays there for a few moments before getting up with a huff and stripping his bed completely, chucking the sheets to the floor, he’ll deal with it in the morning.

~~.~~

Eren sits in his creative writing tutorial class later that afternoon, not being able to think of anything besides Levi, his dream fresh in his mind, still seeing Levi’s grey eyes stare up at him through his lashes. He doesn’t know what to make of the dark haired man with the cold grey stare, but the guy intrigues and frustrates him to no end. Yes the guy is probably the best looking person Eren has ever laid eyes on, but he’s also an arrogant asshole. Eren never knows what to say around the man, worried that he’ll say something stupid and turn the guy off, not that he would know if the guy was on to begin with, he’s extremely difficult to read.

He makes it to the end of class never once writing any of the content down on his laptop, he sighs closing it and stands up ready to walk back to him dorm. It’s already night time when the class ends and he wraps his coat tighter around himself to ward against the cold. He walks across the quad, the only other people out in the cold at this time are other students like him either rushing to their next class or heading back to their dorms. He makes it back to building H in a matter of minutes, swiping his key card against the black box quickly the door opens for him and he rushes inside, letting out a sigh of relief as the warmth of the building washes over him. He decides to head straight into the common room to get some dinner before heading up to his dorm, he figures that he should interact with his friends tonight, now that the marker on his face is now completely gone.

When he enters the room Mikasa and Armin are the only ones there, sitting on one of the couches watching Friends. He says a quick ‘hi’ to them as he walks into the kitchen and begins preparing his classic dinner dish instant ramen. Once he’s done he carries his noodles and laptop back out into the common area and sets himself comfortably in the armchair off to the side of Armin and Mikasa.

“How was your day, Eren?” Armin asks, looking towards the brunette, he has his own bowl of pasta sitting in his lap.

Eren shrugs, “Not too bad, just trying to get used to the heavier work load.” He puts a forkful of noodles into his mouth. “What about you guys?”

“Mm, can’t complain,” They both answer.

They sit in silence for a moment before Mikasa leans over Armin to get a better look at Eren. “So tell us what happened with you on Sunday night.”

Eren thinks back to the night of the party. He remembers meeting Erwin and then his conversation with Levi outside, but if he’s being honest everything from when he started playing beer pong, to the moment he woke up shirtless on Levi’s floor, is all a little hazy. He doesn’t want to give away too much, so he decides to act coy.

“A lot of stuff happened on Sunday, what are you referring to?”

She looks at him, eyebrow slightly raised as if to say she knows he’s trying to hide something. “Well you left for a little while just after we got there, and then you came back and played beer pong with us, and then you completely disappeared.”

Armin stares at Eren intently, “Yeah we tried to find you but after a while we just assumed you came back here, when I knocked on your door I got no answer, and you didn’t leave here the next morning for class.” The blonde thinks for a second before his eyes widen slightly in excitement, “Oh my god Eren, did you meet someone at the party? Did you spend the night in their dorm in a whirling frenzy of passion?”

Mikasa slaps Armin’s arm slightly, trying to get him to retreat out of his fantasy land. “In all seriousness, where did you go?”

Eren puts another forkful of noodles into his mouth, trying to stall. Should he tell them? He’s only known these people a little over a week, but they don’t even know he’s gay. They could have their suspicions sure; it’s not as if he tries to hide it. But if he says he was with Levi, what would they think? Would Mikasa tell him to stay away from her cousin? And even he isn’t sure what exactly happened in Levi’s dorm that night, he’s pretty sure it was nothing sexual. In the end he figures the truth is probably best, he wants to be able to trust his new friends.

“I was with Levi,” He says quickly.

Both of their eyes widen in surprise, Armin is the first to speak.

“What? When?” He’s practically jumping off the couch in excitement.

“What do you mean when? I was with him both times.”

“Doing what?” The blonde enquires.

How was he supposed to put into actual words what happened? “Ah, we just talked for a bit outside.” Yep, let’s go with that.

“Ah, okay,” Armin sounds sceptical.

Talking about this now reminds the brunette of something.

“Do either of you know how the hell Levi knows what I’m studying?” A part of Eren wishes that it’s because Levi has been paying as much attention to him as Eren has to him.

“Because I told him, that’s why.” Mikasa says, Eren only now notice how quiet she’s been.

“Why would you do that?” He asks.

“I told him you were totally crushing on him.” She answers bluntly.

“The fuck would you do that for?” Eren grabs his bowl, standing up and looking down at her. “He’s probably so freaked out.” What gives her the right to butt in like that?

“Relax Eren he bats for both teams,” She doesn’t look at all affected by his sudden outburst. “And hey, I may end up being a key factor in you guys getting in each other’s pants, so a little gratitude would be nice.”

“You’ll get your gratitude, only if it works.” He mumbles, sitting back down having cooled off a bit.

Armin sits there the whole time observing their interaction with each other, they bicker like siblings. He decides to use this time to get more information out of Eren.

“So,” He starts, looking over to the brunette hoping he’s calmed down enough, so he doesn’t go off at Armin.

The brunette looks at him, sighing defeated, “What is it Armin?”

“Well you said you were with Levi both times, I just want to know what you guys did that night,” The blonde leans forward unashamed, ready to hear about all the dirty details his friend is keeping from him.

Even Mikasa turns her head to listen to what the man has to say.

Eren scratches the back of his neck, “I don’t really remember.”

Armin leans back, sucking in a breath, “Oh that bad huh? An experience you’d rather forget?”

“Armin it wasn’t even like that, my memory’s just a bit hazy from the alcohol.” They both wait for him to continue. “I remember playing beer pong, and then everyone dissipated, I vaguely remember going up to Levi’s dorm room, but I don’t actually think that was his choice, I just kind of followed him. And then after that I don’t actually remember anything, next thing I knew I was waking up on his bedroom floor.” Eren vaguely remembers the feel of Levi’s lips against his but the memory isn’t clear, he pushes it out of his mind putting it down to his wishful thinking. There’s no way he’s going to tell these two that, not without actual facts.

Armin stares at him for a moment, his face not hiding his disappointment, “Well quite honestly I was expecting more, but you did have a lot to drink so it doesn’t surprise me that you just passed out on his floor.” His eyes shine viciously for a moment. “Which reminds me of another thing that Jean mentioned.”

Eren covers his face with his hands, letting out a loud groan; he knew this was going to come up eventually.

“I heard you were displaying some interesting, shall we say fashion choices, around campus on Monday,” He lets out a laugh.

“That wasn’t my fault, and I didn’t even know it was there!” Eren says, wanting to set this straight.

“How is that possible?” Mikasa pipes up, oh great so she knows too.

“Levi kicked me out pretty much as soon as I woke up so I just headed straight to class. It wasn’t until I saw him in the library with Erwin and Hange the next day that he admitted to drawing it on me. He said he wanted to try his hand at drawing, unfortunately my face seemed to be the only canvas he could find at the time.” He says huffing, recalling the bitter memory.

Mikasa and Armin both sit back on the couch clutching their stomachs as they laugh at his expense. Of course he’s sure they did exactly the same thing when Jean first told them, He’d much prefer if they could just laugh at him behind his back.

“Oh Eren, at least you know what you’re in for if you decide to continue going after Levi,” Mikasa says once her laughter subsides.

“That is so like Levi,” Is all Armin says, not trying to comfort his new friend in anyway.

“Geez thanks guys,” Eren says sarcastically, he gets off the armchair and takes his bowl into the kitchen.

He walks back out, ready to head up to his dorm.

“You know we’re only having a bit of fun, right Eren? I mean we’re all aware that Levi is a dick, and you’re our friend, so if he ever does something to you just know that we will all have your back,” Armin says, he sounds sincere enough.

The brunette mumbles ‘thanks, see you guys in the morning’, before heading out of the common rom and up to his dorm. He knows that they’re only having a bit of fun, but Armin’s words are still in his mind.

‘ _That’s so like Levi.’_

The statement makes Eren even more curious about the dark haired man, and he can’t help but think that it could lead him down a very dangerous path.


	8. Moderation?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Hange exhibits pyromaniac like traits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a busy day of work tomorrow so I probably won't get a chance to update, hence why I'm posting this now. 
> 
> I hope you're all still enjoying the story thus far, I believe this is the turning point for the longer chapters and we start to get more into Levi and Eren's relationship. There is also another ship introduced into this chapter, so I hope you guys like that as well.
> 
> On another note, my second laptop in two years has once again crapped it's self. DO NOT EVER BUY HP, they're horrible horrible laptops. So yeah, thankfully I sent what I had already written of this story to my best friend as I wrote it so she could send it back to me otherwise there would be no update for a long time as I would be sitting in a corner sobbing. THANKFULLY that has not happened, and I just have to re edit the chapters I have already written. Unfortunately though as much as I have felt like writing over the last few days I can not stand typing on the laptop I am currently using, so I will not be writing any more until I get a new one. Ugh. 
> 
> And for anybody wondering how long this story will actually be, I have so far written sixteen chapters. So the story may very well be between thirty and forty chapters once it is completed, so I hope you stay for that. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review or kudos, everything is appreciated and everything is replied to.

When Eren walks into the kitchen early the next morning, something feels off. Everything looks the same but there is an itching under his skin that he hasn’t experienced before the previous times he’s walked in.

Mikasa and Jean are the only ones in here this early, both prefer to have their classes start earlier in the morning, for whatever reason, so they are almost always in here when he comes to grab breakfast before his shift.

“Morning,” he grumbles, still half asleep as he makes his way over to the cupboard.

“Good morning,” they both reply, in much more upbeat tones.

He turns around and squints at them, trying to pin point the one thing that’s different . They both stare back at him, Mikasa with disinterest, and Jean with worry.

“What’s up with you two today?”

“W-what?” Jean stutters, that’s unlike him.

“There’s something different about you two. What is it?” Eren asks, moving closer.

As he leans over the bench he spots it, their hands. Their hands are entwined together on Jean’s knee. He rights himself with a confused expression.

“What are you two doing?”

“Don’t tell me you’re that dense, Eren,” Mikasa snaps.

“I wasn’t aware you two were -,” He trails off.

“We’ve only been official for about a week, we figured we’d only tell people if they asked. It’s not a big deal,” She replies.

Eren looks over to Jean, who has a red blush spread over his cheeks. “Looks like it’s a big deal to someone,” He teases.

“Shut up, Yeager,” Jean snaps at him.

Eren only laughs and finishes the one biscuit he’d grabbed from the cupboard. He’s walking out the door, when he says, “Well I’m happy for you two.”

“Whatever, Yeager,” Jean yells after him, as the brunette walks out of the dorm towards work.

 

~~.~~

 

The rest of Eren’s morning passes by with little to no excitement. He’s gotten pretty used to Eld yelling at him to go faster, to keep the coffee area tidy, to not spill every damn thing he picks up, his gruff voice has become a constant lull in the back of Eren’s head.

He’s just finished wiping up the spill he made from the previous order when Marco whistles at him.

He whips his head up quickly, “What?”

“Lover boy’s here,” Marco answers, nodding his head to the left as he winks.

Eren turns his head and sees a flash of black hair walking through the cafeteria right towards the coffee shop, black hair that can only belong to one, Levi Ackerman.

Eren stands up straight, running his hands down his clothes as he attempts to get some of the coffee grounds another substances he’s picked up during the shift off him. “Quick how to I look?”

Marco raises his eyebrow, looking him over, “Seriously?”

He gives Marco a, ‘This is really not the time’ look, causing the dark haired man to sigh.

“You look fine, now please just act natural, you’ll scare him off.”

Eren faces the coffee machine again and begins making the queuing customers’ orders. Natural. Right, he can do this. He just has to act as if he doesn’t even know Levi is standing two meters away from him.

Everything is fine.

After a few moments of focusing on his actual job Eren allows his eyes to wonder over to where Levi is standing, only to find the dark haired man already staring at him, an amused smirk on his lips. Just as quickly Eren tries to once again focus on the task at hand.

He finishes making Levi’s tea; he now knows just how the man likes it, black and strong with just a dash of cold water. And may god help you if you get it wrong, Eren has been on the receiving end of Levi’s tea wrath one too many times. He calls out Levi’s name, and watches as the man walks over. Eren sets the cup down on the counter just like he does every time; Levi has outright refused to take the cup out of his hands after their first encounter.

Levi picks it up, mumbling a quick ‘thanks’ before beginning to walk off. Eren watches him go before remembering he has something to ask him.

“Levi,” He calls loudly, leaning around the coffee machine so the short man can see him.

Levi stops mid step, looking back over his shoulder, “What is it?”

“Ah, well uh, I’m not sure if you’d want to, but uh-,” He stutters, why does he have to act so uncool around this guy?

“Oh god just spit it out already,” Levi snaps, turning his body around to fully face the brunette.

“Oh ah, we’re all going to set off some crackers at the back of the uni,” Eren pauses and scratches the back of his neck, “I was wondering if maybe you wanted to, ah, come? Maybe?”

God dammit.

Levi stares at the idiot while he physically strains himself to get the question out. Erwin and Hange have already asked him to go, but he quite enjoys watching the guy struggle.

“Why would I want to do that?”

Eren’s eyes widen slightly, he hadn’t been prepared for this. “Ah, cause your friends will be there.”

That’s seriously his selling point?

He sighs, deciding to put the guy out of his misery, “Hange and Erwin have already asked me.”

Teal eyes light up at that, “So that means you’re coming?”

He shrugs, “We’ll see.”

“Awesome, well you should. It’s going to be so much fun and I, er, I mean everyone would love to have you there.”

That was a close one.

Could this guy be any more obvious, Levi just smirks and begins to walk off again, “Later, Eren Yeager.”

Eren stands there ginning at Levi’s back like the fool he is, until Marco elbows him in the side as he points to the cups waiting for Eren to fill with coffee.

“Now that you and your boyfriend have finished eye fucking each other, do you think you could get these people their coffee?”

Eren looks away from the spot Levi had just been to the group of people impatiently waiting for their coffees before class. “Oh right, sorry.”

He sneaks a glance over at Marco, who’s almost grinning ear to ear.

“Shut up, Marco,” he mumbles.

The grin only widens.

 

~~.~~

 

“So can somebody tell me why we’re setting crackers off tonight?” Eren asks his friends, as they all congregate in the common room of Building H, all except Levi that is.

“Do we need a reason?” Armin asks.

“Come on Eren, don’t be such a spoil sport,” Hange says loudly into his ear as she hangs herself off Eren’s shoulder.

“What? I’m not,” He replies, pushing Hange off him, “I thought it might have been some sort of tradition or something.”

“Nope, we just like to light things on fire!” Hange shouts, he eyes slightly crazed.

“Okay come on you idiots, help me with this,” Jean says, lifting a case of beer off the bench, “Eren, grab those bottle of spirits off the bench, and Erwin get the crackers.”

“Does someone have a lighter?” Armin asks, almost lost inside his giant winter coat.

“I do,” Hange says, flicking the lighter on and watching the flame dance and crack.

“Not inside you idiot,” Mikasa says, as she roughly grabs the lighter out of Hange’s hands.

The crazy girl pouts for a second before they’re all making their way into the cold night.

 

~~.~~

 

Eren’s still not sure if they’re actually allowed to do this. Yet he still stands with his friends in the cool night air waiting for the first of the crackers to go off.

It’s frantic.

Hange took back her lighter from Mikasa and is now threatening to set multiple crackers off at once. Mikasa has long since given up on trying to stop the girl and now sits with Jean wrapped in a blanket they brought with them up on the hill looking down at the chaos that is their friends, below them.

Marco and Erwin sit together on some abandoned plastic crates, they’re both laughing ridiculously loud and for the life of him Eren can’t understand what those two could possibly have in common, he’s just glad they seem to be enjoying themselves.

Sasha said she had plans with some other friends, so she’s the only one missing, well her and a certain raven haired man that Eren promised himself he wouldn’t think about tonight.

He’s just not sure what to do with himself, at the moment he’s just standing watching what’s happening between Armin and Hange. Hange’s still insistent on lighting multiple at once, while Armin tries to convince her that it will be more fun if the crackers last longer, hence setting them off one at a time. They continue like that for a while until Hange finally throws up her hands in defeat, shouting that she just wants to let some off already. It’s then that Eren feels a presence behind him.

“Who let that pyro handle the crackers?” The voice asks, staring at the three in amazement.

“Who are you calling a pyro, Levi?” Hange asks, turning her crazed eyes onto him.

“You came!” Levi glances over at Eren with an amused look on his face.

Did he just say that out loud?

Levi only smirks before walking over to Hange and Armin, getting out his own lighter. He grabs a decent sized cracker and sticks the end in the ground, without telling anyone to get back he lights the fuse before calmly walking away, his expression one of amusement as he watches the three scramble for cover. There’s a large bang and then the sky is filled with purple and green lights, the three of them cover their ears with their hands, yet stare up into the night sky in awe.  

Eren notices Levi walking over to the bag of crackers and grabbing something out before walking away from everyone again. Panic rushes through him. He’s not leaving is he? Eren looks at the other two, who just shrug, so without any more hesitation Eren follows after him. They’re half way up the hill when Levi speaks.

“I feel like we’ve been here before.” He glances over his shoulder as he continues up the hill. “Why the fuck are you following me?”

“Why are you walking off? You only just go here,” Eren replies, stumbling slightly over the rough terrain as he follows closely behind.

“I’m not leaving, I just want to be away from pyro down there,” He answers, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

“Oh well cool,” Eren responds, suddenly a jump in his step.

Levi doesn’t respond, instead he stops, removes his thick outer jacket and lays it on the ground before he sits down on top of it. Eren doesn’t ask Levi before he sits himself down next to him; a shiver running through his body as the coldness of the grass leaches through his jeans.

“By all means make yourself comfortable,” Levi says sarcastically.                              

They sit in silence for a long time, Eren feels like this is something they do a lot, he’s not sure if Levi just doesn’t have anything to say, or if he really doesn’t want Eren there, he’s not sure he wants to find out.

Levi reaches beside him, offering Eren one of the two cans of beer he has. Eren takes it, he doesn’t particularly enjoy the taste of beer, but he wasn’t about to refuse Levi’s offer. He watches as the raven head opens his own can and takes a sip before setting it back down beside him. He casually reaches into his pocket and pulls out his lighter. Eren’s sure he’s about to smoke again and is about to tell the raven haired boy not to do it, but instead Levi pulls something else. In his hand sit small green balls with strings sticking out of the end of them and some other red sticks which all look to be joined together. He watches as Levi lights the fuse on one of the green balls and throws it down the hill. It flies in the direction Erwin and Marco are sitting in, sparks flying off of it as it lands close to their feet, a second later it explodes, creating bright sparks and loud pops as it skims over the grass.

Marco lets out a surprised yelp and falls of his crate, Erwin stands up outraged as he looks around frantically to determine which direction it came from. He looks over a Hange first who’s busy with her own pile of crackers before his eyes come to rest on Levi, who smirks. Eren’s sure that even from this distance in the dark Erwin can see it.

“Oi, that’s a fire hazard mate,” Erwin shouts up the hill.

“Oh, fuck off,” Levi yells back, throwing another lit cracker in Erwin’s direction.

Erwin jumps out of the way quickly to avoid it as it sails past him, exploding as it hits the ground just as the other one had.  Eren looks on in amusement as Marco gets up giving an apologetic smile to Erwin before going to join Armin with Hange away from Levi’s assault, probably the safest choice.

They fall into silence once more and it’s then that Eren decides he doesn’t like it. He opens his mouth and says the first words that flow into his head. He’s not sure why he says it, but it all comes rushing out of him, and all he can do is look at Levi and hope that there’s a shred of decently in him.

“I used to do this with my family when I was younger, once a year we were allowed to fill the sky with lights from our backyards, I always looked forward to that one night. And then one year they decided to ban it, and I don’t think I’ve seen any since. So this is really nice.”

“It’s only been a short time, but I’m glad I came to this university. It’s just me and my dad back at home now, mum died about three years ago from a brain tumour. I had to get out of my home town so I came here, I mean, Dad and I are still close, but the atmosphere just wasn’t the same without mum, y’know? I had to leave.”

He scolds himself when he finishes talking. Why is he even talking about this? He looks away from Levi into the night as he holds his breath.

“Eren Yeager, if I wanted to hear about your sad back story then I would have asked.” He states bluntly, not looking over at the brunette. Though Eren knew to expect that from the older man, it still left tightness in his chest that forced him to lower his head.

He stares down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting in the now awkward atmosphere, “Oh sorry.”

Minutes pass as they both stare up into the sky as the bright lights from the crackers illuminate it in intricate shapes. Eren regretting opening his mouth to the older boy, he knows that he shouldn’t have expected him to understand. Levi not wanting to say the wrong thing again allows the seconds to tick by, he hadn’t expected Eren to say that shit to him. He caught him off guard.

Eventually he finds his voice, though it only comes out in a whisper, “I’m sorry about your mum.”

“Yeah,” Eren breathes, keeping his eyes on the sky. Levi not sure what else to do, begins throwing his lit crackers at Erwin again.

The silence that follows between them again makes Eren uncomfortable and he’s met with the sudden urge to kiss Levi, well he always has the urge but this time he’s not sure if he can control himself. His last words showed Eren that he does actually have feelings, and that’s all the brunette was looking for.

He looks over at Levi through the corner of his eye, and call it a cliché, but the way the lights from the crackers are illuminating his face, and the way his eyes crinkle at the corners while he lets out a low laugh are almost too perfect. Perhaps he should be worried that Levi gets such enjoyment out of taunting people as he continues to throw the small crackers at their friends, but in this moment right now, Eren couldn’t care less.

He grabs Levi’s face forcefully making the raven haired man face him; his eyes are open wide in shock as they stare into large teal eyes. Eren doesn’t give him any chance to move away, as he grabs the back of the man’s head and connects their lips together. Levi doesn’t react for a moment, so Eren closes his eyes and presses hard against him forcing his tongue between his lips. Levi tastes of cigarette smoke and beer, the two mix together in a way that Eren would never admit was not all together unpleasant. This was Levi.

After a moment Levi closes his eyes, allowing Eren to kiss him, and ugh, Eren is a horrible kisser.

“What are you trying to do?” Levi asks once he’s managed to push the younger man away.

“Ah, kiss you?” Eren answers, sitting back as he stares at Levi in confusion.

“The way you’re going, you’re going to gnaw off my lip.” Levi replies, placing his fingers to his now raw bottom lip.

“You don’t like lip biting?” Eren asks innocently, god he’s like a child.

“In moderation.”

“Ha, sorry, I guess I got a little carried away.” Eren says with a shit eating grin plastered across his face.

“You think?”

“Can we try again?” Eren asks, innocently staring down through his lashes for full affect.

Levi is having none of that. “No I don’t think so.” He responds, getting up and putting his slightly damp jacket back on before walking down the hill to re-join their friends

“Levi!” Eren groans as he scrambles after him.

He’d better be getting another kiss.


	9. Toga?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Mikasa clues Eren in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, I am in fact feeling generous this week, so here is chapter eight for your enjoyment.
> 
> Just on a little side note, I have never not once ever been to a toga party. So I apologize if it is not accurate, I just imagined white so that's what I went with.
> 
> I would also like to apologize in advance for everything that happens in this chapter. It's a roller coaster ride for readers and characters alike..
> 
> And yay to getting a new laptop on Monday, so I'll be able to possibly, maybe, if I have the motivation, start to write more chapters.
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos. As always everything is appreciated and replied to.
> 
> Chapter Nine will be out on Thursday.
> 
> Enjoy (:

"So you and Eren, ay Levi?" Erwin raises his thick eyebrows suggestively; Levi turns his head to the blonde giving him a bored look.

"What?"

Erwin's smirk doesn't leave his face, "You've been getting close recently."

Levi scoffs, "I hardly even know the guy."

"And yet he's already been up to your dorm and stuck his tongue down your throat," Erwin retorts, there's always a certain thrill in riling Levi up.

But the raven haired man remains composed much to the blonde's dismay and gives him the same bored look, "You don't even have to know the name of a person for either of those things."

Erwin can't deny that that's true. "Come on, you have to at least have some interest in the guy."

"What would he have to offer that would interest me?" He replies, wanting this conversation to be over so he can go and do anything else.

"Well I could think of a few things," Erwin trails off.

"Look I have no interest in that idiot. The only reason I've ever talked to him is because he's either spilling shit on me or following me, neither have been my choice," Levi snaps finally sick of hearing the blonde's voice.

Erwin only smirks again, knowing that he'd finally hit a nerve, but decides to drop the topic for now due to the risk of being attacked. "So are you coming to the party tonight?"

"Another one?" The raven head asks. How many parties do they need?

"Of course! I'm thinking Toga Party," Erwin says joyfully, flinging his arms in the air as if to celebrate something. "Will you be there?"

"I doubt it," Levi replies unenthused, rising from his chair and walking out of the dorm building. Leaving the blonde shaking his head.

"Levi!"

He turns his head in the direction of the voice and groans. "What do you want?"

Hange comes jogging towards him, her arms full with thick science books that he has no doubt she will be spending the day reading. Apparently it's how she likes to pass the time. "You coming to the party tonight?"

"Why is everyone so insistent on this fucking party, can't you all just dress up in sheets by yourself in your own time?" His tone is perhaps a little too harsh, but thanks to Erwin he's not in a great mood. If Hange notices it, she doesn't comment.

"But it's toga, Levi. Toga!" She would have been throwing her hands up into the air excitedly, if not for the books.

"Yeah whatever," He sighs, eager to get away from her now.

"And I mean, if you stop being an angry douche I'm sure you can hang out with Eren again, maybe get to know him a little better than you already do," She replies winking.

That's it, that's the final straw!

"I'm not interested in Eren!" He yells, the few people closest to them turn their heads to see why he's shouting.

"Right that's why you kissed him, because you can't stand him," The brunette rolls her eyes.

"The little shit forced himself on me," He retorts knowing that's only half true.

She looks at him pointedly, "Levi, in all the years I've known you, no one has ever forced you to do anything you didn't want to do."

"Pfft, whatever four eyes," He mumbles, turning on his heel and walking away from her.

Before he's out of ear shot she yells, "See you tonight then."

He picks up his pace. Yes he'll be going to that party, but only so he can prove to everyone that he does not have a thing for Eren. Well he might have something, but even he's not sure what it is yet. Everyone else can just get their big noses out of his business.

**~~.~~**

Eren is only standing in the doorway of Building K, dressed in some old sheet wound over one shoulder, with a fake ivy branch tangled through his unruly hair for one reason.

Levi.

They hadn't talked much since the night they kissed a week ago, and Eren feels like Levi is reluctant to talk about what happened. But that's exactly why Eren wants to talk to him, what did actually happen between them? And why is Levi so insistent on avoiding him like he's caught some kind of plague? Eren had expected Levi to come around to the coffee shop for his daily cup of tea, but Eren has only seen him there once since that night and the man didn't even look at him.

Eren looks around the common room; it's completely transformed from what it looked like at the last party. From the looks of it someone has gone into a lot of effort to fit in with the Greek theme. The whole space is covered in varying shades of whites and creams, with the odd gold decoration and fake ivy vines littering the space. The staircase to the left looks spectacular, draped in sheets of white that trail smoothly down to the floor. There are candles lit everywhere a candle can sit secularly, illuminating the room in a golden hue. Eren begins to walk inside, followed closely by the rest of this friends from his dorm, all clad in white sheets similar to him.

He only registers someone yelling a second before he is almost tackled to the ground.

"Eren! You came!" Hange yells in his ear, crushing him against her chest.

He didn't realise they were this close yet, or perhaps it has something to do with the wine that smells like it's seeping out of her pores.

He pulls himself out of her arms quickly, giving her a small smile instead. "Of course we did."

"It's going to be so much fun! There's any alcohol you could want, music, food," She gestures her arm to the side of the room where a long table draped in a white cloth sits against the wall. In doing so her arm almost collides with the face of a passer-by. The guy ducks quickly out of the way shooting daggers at Hange, who doesn't even notice. Eren's eyes shift from the guy to the table Hange is still pointing at, it's filled to the brim with all different sorts of Greek food from dips and bread to an array of different sweets.

He's astounded, "Did you do all this Hange?"

Her eyes flash quickly with concern before her face breaks out into its usual grin, "Do you think it's too much?"

He's tempted to say yes, but the fact that she had cared enough to put this much effort in changed his mind, "No I don't think so. It looks good, doesn't it?" He turns his head to face his friends, who all nod with varying degrees of agreement.

"Well enjoy yourselves. Oh and Eren, I'm sure your boyfriend will be down soon," She says with a wink, before walking off into the crowd of people.

The comment takes a moment to register in his brain, though she's already disappeared from sight when he manages to yell out, "He's not my boyfriend."

His friends all give him looks, not one of them displaying that they believe what he'd just said.

He sighs, "I need a drink."

**~~.~~**

"Eren, come sit with us," Armin calls from his spot next to Mikasa and Jean on one of the three couches in the common room, Sasha is again nowhere to be seen.

He makes his way over to them, stumbling on his own two feet as his drunken mind protests against any movement.

"Whoa, you don't look so good, Yeager. How you feeling?" Jean asks, pocking his head to see around Mikasa, who's currently residing comfortably on his lap.

"Mm," Eren replies, a lazy smile on his lips, "Just a bit tipsy."

The three give each other wary expressions before turning back to the brunette as he sits down next to Armin.

"You're telling me," The blonde sighs, pulling Eren closer to him so he can rest his head on his shoulder.

"Should we just take him back to the dorm?" Mikasa asks as she glances over Eren, a concerned expression twisted onto her face. "He looks like he's already passed out."

"No!" Eren shouts, jolting himself up from Armin's shoulder shocking the three. "No I can't leave. Levi's here somewhere."

Armin gives Mikasa and Jean another look.

"Eren, I haven't seen him tonight. In fact I don't even think that he's here."

Eren turns his head quickly, staring right into Armin's large blue eyes.

"What? No! He has to be here, this is his dorm building."

"Eren, come on. Let's just take you back, you can see him another time," Armin tries softly.

"Why are you so insistent on not letting me see him?" He asks loudly, his eyes accusing Armin of something that even he's not sure of.

"Whoa Eren, that's not what this is about. You're just drunk," Armin tries again, getting himself off the couch so he can try and get the brunette to come with him.

"I'm not drunk, and I'm staying right here," Eren stubbornly sits further into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest and staring up at Armin, a challenge in his teal eyes. "I'm not leaving just so you can have Levi all to yourself!"

Eren knows that that isn't even true; he's acting ridiculous and in doing so hurting his blonde friend. Even so he can't keep the hard look out of his eyes as he stares at Armin, who looks as if he's just been punched in the stomach.

"Armin, I-," He tries, standing from the couch as he reaches for his friend.

He feels a hand wrap around his arm, just before he reaches Armin, he looks over his shoulder to see Jean standing next to him, his small brown eyes hard.

"You should go and cool off Eren," He says, never taking his eyes off the shorter man.

"Whatever," The brunette says harshly, ripping his arm out of Jean's grip.

Without looking back at his friends he stalks off into the crowd.

"That guy has a real anger problem," Jean states angrily, looking off into the crowd Eren had just pushed his way through.

"Don't worry about him. He just needs a few minutes to himself and then he'll be fine," Armin says, looking anxiously in the direction Eren went, hoping desperately that he's right.

**~~.~~**

Eren's not sure if he's angrier at himself or his friends. He knows it's ridiculous to be angry at them, to blame them for anything when all they're doing is trying to help him. He knows that his slight obsession with Levi is a little unrealistic, but even so, he can't seem to make himself stop.

He pushes through the hoard of people around him, ignoring the annoyed drunken remarks people yell at him. He's too focused on just getting out of there.

He stops near the entry doors and does one last quick glance around the space, just in case. His eyes scan over near the stairs and what he sees has his stomach rolling nauseatingly.

Levi stands at the side of the staircase; his arm resting on the cloth that drapes down it. A girl leans trapped between the side of the staircase and his body. She has short blonde hair that reaches just to her shoulders and large brown eyes, Eren knows her from one of his writing classes. And that's all he sees before her eyes drift shut, as Levi's mouth descends on hers.

To say Eren is hurt is an understatement, Eren is fuming, he feels as if something inside him has broken. He knows it's not his heart; it can't be he hardly knows this guy, but from the moment he saw him he couldn't deny the attraction he felt.

He stands stuck in place seeing red, his whole body trembling as he clenches his hands tightly into fists. His fingernails bite painfully into his palms, and he welcomes it.

Mikasa and Armin, who had come out to find Eren both notice the look on his face; he can't imagine what he must look like but by the quick strides they make to get over to him tells him that it can't be good. They pull him outside by each arm, his legs stumble underneath him as his drunken brain tries to make sense of what they want him to do. They sit him down on the ground, the coolness of the concrete leaches through the thin sheet he's wearing and settles in his bones, he welcomes the feeling.

"Eren, tell us what's wrong," Armin says in a hurried voice.

"I ah, I saw-," He tries to get the sentence out, but his mouth won't allow him to say the words.

"What? You saw what?" Mikasa asks, shaking Eren's shoulder in an attempt to jolt him out of this state.

"Levi and Petra," Is the only thing he's able to choke out, her name leaving a vile taste in his mouth.

"Oh Eren," Armin says, setting himself down on the ground and pulling him into a tight hug.

None of them say anything else, because really what could any of them say? A while later Eren feels himself being lifted off the ground and pulled along between his two friends. They're outside their dorm building when he begins to feel his eyelids drooping closed the full effect of the alcohol he drank against him now.

"Let's get him up to my room for the night," Armin says to Mikasa, figuring he will be able to make sure he's okay that way.

Mikasa nods and all three of them make their way up to Armin's room.

Eren immediately collapses onto the bed, forcing his friends to struggle with the straps of the woven sandals on his feet. Mikasa disappears before returning a few minutes later with a pair of Eren's sweatpants and a shirt for him, he'll think about how she got into his room later. She hands them to Armin before leaving the room.

"I'll check on you guys in the morning," She says before closing the door.

Armin manages to get Eren to sit up on the edge of the bed so he can remove the sheet from his body and put him into the more comfortable clothes. Eren sits there the whole time staring at the wall opposite him with a blank expression. When Armin is done, Eren once again lays down on the small bed, wrapping himself in the blankets. Armin gets changed himself before climbing in under the covers next to him.

"It's going to be okay, Eren. We'll come up with a way to get back at him for you," The blonde says, patting the taller boy's hair where he leans his head on Armin's shoulder.

Eren doesn't answer, instead he snuggles himself closer into Armin, looking for any sort of comfort his friend can give him at the moment. They fall asleep wrapped around each other, both drifting into a comfortable sleep.

**~~.~~**

They both wake the next morning to the smell of coffee wafting through Armin's room.

Eren opens his eyes cautiously the harsh bedroom light makes him squint up at the figure standing next to Armin's bed.

"Mikasa?" He asks sleepily.

"Here drink this," She says, holding the hot mug of coffee out for him.

He takes it, sitting back against the wall as he cradles it between his hands.

"Armin, you awake?" Mikasa asks, shaking his shoulder slightly until he stretches.

He looks up at her sleepily through the shaggy blonde hair that's fallen into his blue eyes. "Mornin',"

"Drink this Armin, straight from the machine," She says, handing the mug to him and sitting herself down on his desk chair.

Armin drags himself up until he's sitting with his back leaning against his headboard.

"So how are you feeling this morning, Eren?" She asks, looking at him wearingly.

He shrugs taking a careful sip from his mug, his head pounding, "Could be better."

"So what are you going to do?" She presses.

Why is she so insistent on anything happening?

"Not really sure what I can do. I mean obviously he's not interested in me," It hurts him to say the words out loud, but what else is he supposed to think?

"Don't tell me that you're just going to give up," She says, her tone rising slightly.

"What's the big deal? I can't make him like me if he doesn't want to," He's finding it hard to think properly through the thumping in his temples; he's not sure why he's even saying this, it's obvious he wants Levi.

She looks at him for a long moment before sighing. "Do you want me to let you in on something, Eren?"

He only nods, hoping that this information might help him in some way.

She looks right into his eyes. "Levi only started going to sixty degrees because I told him to."

He raises a thick eyebrow at her.

"It was obvious to everyone that you were interested in him, and when you went for the job with Marco I told Levi about it, I guess I kind of forced him into it." She shrugs.

"Yeah, but he was so angry when I spilt the tea on him. I was sure then that there wouldn't be a chance of him liking me." He replies, shuddering as he remembers the memory. "I mean sure we've had moments since then when I thought maybe it was going somewhere, but now for him to do this. I mean this changes everything, right?" He looks from Mikasa to Armin and back with his large teal eyes wide, hoping for something, anything.

Mikasa sighs again, she really doesn't like to see Eren in pain, the guy's grown on her. "Well let's just say that Levi could very easily make his own tea back at his dorm."

Eren sits there confused.

She sighs dramatically, almost reaching out to the doe eyed boy to forcibly shake him until he gets it. "If he continues to go back, then he must have seen something he likes."

"Oh."

_Oh._

But how does that help him now?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren is the kind of drunk that regrets everything he does in the morning. Every time.


	10. Contradiction?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Armin shows his other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for getting a new laptop so I'm finally able to begin writing more. Though I will say that it is quite hard to get used to, coming from using a 14 inch laptop down to an 11 inch and factor in that my new laptop is also touch screen I am still working everything out, but still yay.
> 
> Ah, so yeah I hope people weren't too angry over the whole Petra/Levi thing in the last chapter and hopefully this chapter makes up for it a little bit, maybe.. 
> 
> Some things should not be done in a library.. 
> 
> Anyway, yes this chapter is early again cause I'm bored and I have work tomorrow, so yeah.
> 
> As always leave a comment or kudos, everything is appreciated and replied to.
> 
> Enjoy (:

"I still don't think this is a good idea," Eren says quietly to the blonde beside him.

They're sitting at one of the round tables in the library. Eren's thankful that not many people are in here today, as Armin's plan is crazy. Like absolutely crazy.

Mad.

Insane.

"Oh come one, Eren, do you want to see how he actually feels about you or not?" Armin whispers back from his seat.

"Well of course I do, but still this is a little weird. And I mean how do you know he'll even come here today?" He's looking for any excuse to back out of what they're about to do.

"Look if we get no reaction from him then at least we'll know for sure," Armin says, using reason to sway the brunette.

"Yeah, well I guess you're right," Eren mumbles, glancing around the library for the head of dark hair he hopes never ends up walking through the doors.

"Good, now come sit closer to me," Armin replies, angling his chair to face Eren.

"But he's not even here yet-," Eren's cut off by a hand gripping his thigh tightly under the table. He almost lets out a squeal at the sudden contact, but manages to choke it back down when Armin leans into his side.

"Shut up, it's go time," Armin whispers into his ear.

Eren's eyes widen as he glances around the room. No he just looked; Levi can't be in here already. But sure enough as his eyes scan the few people in the library, his eyes fall almost instantly onto the man. He's facing away from them as he walks down the aisle that holds the sound production text books.

Eren sucks in another breath as Armin leans impossibly closer into his side as he angles his body forward on the table, pretending to read over the textbooks they have spread out in front of them.

"Eren can you go over this with me again?" Armin asks, looking innocently up at him. His voice is so velvety that Eren himself almost believes the act the blonde is putting on.

"Y-yeah, sure," He stutters, trying to get into character.

For most of the time Eren just answers Armin's questions about the books in front of them, not knowing how else to contribute to the plan. Levi has sat down a few tables away from them with the book he grabbed off the shelf. Eren continuously gives him quick glances, to see if he's noticed anything that is going on with him and the blonde, but he never once looks up. He never once shows that he has any idea that the two are there.

Armin notices this, and decides to take matters into his own hands. When Eren leans back in his chair, tired from the effort he's been trying to put into Armin's revenge plan, the blonde jumps out of his own seat and straddles Eren's lap. The brunette lets out a gasp at the sudden movement, they had not discussed this.

Armin leans so close to his ear that the brunette can feel his warm breath brushing against him, and Eren's dream suddenly enters his mind as he remembers Levi doing the same thing. The brunette shifts his hips uncomfortably, accidently rubbing against the blonde.

"Eren, I still don't get it. Every time I have to deal with some sort of equation, my mind just goes blank. Help me, please," The blonde keeps his voice loud enough so that Levi would be able to hear him clearly.

Eren feels Armin's hands run down his chest, pushing his open jumper to the side so he can gain better access to his clothed chest, "I promise I'll make it worth your while."

Oh god, how is Armin so good at this? The seductive voice that is almost too innocent almost has Eren believing him again. He feels himself leaning into Armin's hands, bringing the smaller man closer against him. Somehow through all of it, he's able to find his voice.

"Oh yeah? And what will I get in return?" It comes out husky, as he runs his hands over the blondes back.

Armin leans close to his ear again, "Now you're getting into it."

He feels the blonde smirk against his neck, and he chuckles lowly as if Armin had just whispered something dirty into his ear.

Armin pulls back looking into his teal eyes. He smirks again, "Ugh, come on. I'm done with studying for the day. Let's just go back to the dorm, you can probably show me better there anyway."

He gets off Eren's lap slowly, grabbing his backpack and waiting for Eren.

"You go back, I have to grab some more books and I'll see you there shortly," Eren's not sure what he's doing.

The blonde only grins at him, giving him one last sly smile, "You promise?"

"I promise," Eren replies, picking the books up from the table as he watches Armin leave.

Eren lets out a harsh sigh as he carries the books back to the shelves to return them to their rightful place. He's towards the back of the library in the maze of shelves, why did Armin have to grab the books from all the way back here? He's just put two of the books back when he feels someone behind him.

"Hello, Eren Yeager," He hears a voice behind him, as he stretches up to place a book back on the top shelf. How did Armin even reach it?

"Ah, hi," Eren says, once he's down and facing the shorter man in front of him.

"Were you trying to make me jealous?" Levi asks, taking a step closer.

"W-What?" Eren stutters, taking a step back until he feels the shelf digging into his back.

"You and the blonde kid, what was that supposed to be?" Levi asks with disgust clear on his face.

"Nothing we were just studying," Eren replies, knowing it's a horrible excuse. But what else does he have?

"Is that how you study with all your friends?" Levi asks, raising a perfect eyebrow.

Eren knows he'll only make a fool of himself if he decides to keep acting as if he doesn't know what Levi is talking about. Because this is what he wanted isn't it? The whole plan was to see if Lei would get jealous and to Eren it looks like it worked. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he decides to play along. "Armin and I are really close."

"Obviously. But I don't think you're as close as you're trying to make it look," Levi says, staring up at Eren's face not buying it.

"Huh?" Well shit.

"You see, if you are as close as you're saying then you wouldn't have tensed up so much when he did this," Levi presses his palm against Eren's crotch causing a yelp to escape the brunette's mouth. Eren shifts his eyes to the side, hoping no one had heard him. "It would have looked more natural when he was pressed up against you," Levi emphasises his point by taking a step closer to Eren and reaching up onto his toes, running his hot tongue along the side of Eren's throat, causing a violent shiver to run through the younger man's body as a groan escaping his lips.

Levi is mimicking Armin's previous actions, proving that the man had been watching them, but now Eren feels them on a whole other level. He presses himself harder into Levi's hand as the raven head smirks, continuing to rub him in slow agonizing circles. Eren lets out another groan, wanting to get more friction from Levi's hand.

Levi pulls away from Eren slightly to look up into his eyes, "You're greedy aren't you, Eren Yeager?"

Eren lets out a huff as he continues to push himself into Levi, "Why do you keep, ah, calling me that?"

Levi stops his hand, resting it against Eren, "It's your name, isn't it?"

"Well yes, but you can call me Eren, you know?" Eren looks down into Levi's eyes pleading him to do something with his hand.

"Oh I know," Levi smirks, looking down at Eren's crotch. "Look at you, I've hardly even touched you and you're this hard."

"Levi, please just do something," Eren pleads, he hates the whine in his voice but he's prepared to throw his dignity out the window for him, if only he'd touch him again.

"You know, I really don't like what you did," He says casually, taking a step away from Eren. His smirk returns when he's able to see Eren clearly slumped slightly against the shelfs, face flushed red and breathing heavily from the tightness in his already tight jeans.

"You mean with Armin?" He asks, confused.

"Yes with Armin," He spits, staring at Eren with hard eyes.

"What? Levi you know that was just to get your attention, right?" Eren doesn't see the point in keeping up the pretence now.

"I know that!" He says, angrily. Eren flinches back from his tone. "I don't like the thought of anyone else touching you."

Well this is certainly a change of pace. Eren lifts his hands up, taking a step towards the shorter man until he remembers the reason he had to do this. He lets his hands fall to his side and instead just stares at Levi, whose eyes never leave his face.

"You know I could say the same thing about you," He says coldly.

Levi's eyes widen slightly at his words, "What are you talking about?"

Eren can feel his anger rising, "Don't act like you don't know."

Levi thinks for a moment, before he sighs, "You mean Petra?"

Eren only stares at him; he doesn't need to give the man confirmation.

"You saw that, huh? I was hoping you would."

How could he say that so casually?

"Were you upset by it?"

How is that a serious question?

"Of course I was fucking upset!" He says loudly. "After the weeks of you being seemingly interested in me, you turn around and do that. What the fuck?"

"I was angry, okay! And she was there, just like she always is," His words are like ice as he spits them out into the space between them.

"What?" Eren doesn't have a retort.

Levi runs his hands over his face as he lets his breath out in a huff. "We can both stand here and argue about what you saw, or you can come with me instead."

Eren was taken aback for a moment, "Come with you where? Why would I go with you?"

Levi looks at him as if he's stupid, "Look I'm not going to give you an explanation for my actions, I'm not your boyfriend. So are you coming with me or not?"

He knows he should be angry, he should outright refuse Levi's invitation but after those words came out of the shorter man's mouth coupled with the erection still straining against the front of his jeans, Eren can't remember what it was they were arguing about in the first place.

He only nods as he follows Levi out of the library like a puppy dog.

~~.~~

"So are you planning on kicking me out again?" Eren asks Levi, who is sitting across from him at the dining table in Levi's dorm room.

"You smelt terrible, what did you expect me to do?" Levi asks, taking a sip of his tea.

"You could have let me shower or at the very least allowed me to enjoy my morning coffee," Eren counters, gesturing down to his own mug.

"Allow a complete stranger to use my shower? Well hell freezes over maybe," His nose wrinkles in disgust.

"So you'll allow a complete stranger to sleep on your floor half naked, but you won't allow them to use your shower?" Eren asks. This guy's got an interesting set of rules.

"You know that you could have used the common showers, right?" Eren stares at him blankly. "I mean after I kicked you out of here, you could have wandered down the hall to the bathrooms."

Fuck, he hadn't even thought of that.

Levi continues, "So really whose fault is it really that you walked around campus with a drawing of a dick on your face?"

The raven haired man smirks at the look on the brunette's face, he knows he's won.

Knowing he can only dig himself a deeper hole if he continues, Eren decides to change the subject.

"So, why did you bring me back here, anyway?"

Levi looks at him for a minute, "I couldn't have you walking around campus with a hard on, now could I?"

"I'm pretty sure you could," Eren retorts, confused by Levi's actions. He's quite annoyed that a particular part of him has now returned to its regular flaccid state, now that Levi has decided that it was no longer a pressing issue that he needed to attend to.

Levi lets out a soft chuckle, "Yeah well, maybe I'm feeling generous today."

"You know I really don't understand you at all," He says, eyeing him over the rim of his coffee mug.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," Levi replies, leaning himself back in his chair.

Eren places his mug on the table running his finger along the rim; he keeps his eyes down to avoid the man's gaze. "I just mean you're a hard person to read. One minute you're doing something like today and then the next minute you say something to counteract your previous actions." He glances up through his lashes trying to determine Levi's reaction, but the older man only blinks, his face expressionless.

"Why would I need to explain anything to you?" His tone comes out harsh.

"See that's exactly what I mean. One second you're groping me in the library and inviting me back to your dorm, and the next you're treating me as if I'm a misbehaving child. You're giving me whiplash, Levi," He says, leaning forward in his own chair.

The raven haired man smirks, looking Eren right in the eyes, "What would you prefer I was doing to you?"

Eren's whole face heats up; he tries to hide it by taking another sip from his mug. Levi's smirk only grows wider as he watches Eren's embarrassment.

"You can dish it out, but you really can't take it, can you?"

"You're just, ugh," Eren says, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. "'I'm leaving, thanks for the coffee.

He stands up from the table, not caring about washing up his mug and heads for the door.

"Oh come on, Eren Yeager. Why don't you stay? We can watch movies and cuddle," Though Levi remains seated.

Eren looks back at the man, his face is as blank as a piece of printing paper, but Eren knows he's toying with him. Even so, he's almost convinced to take him up on his offer.

"You're a real dick, you know that?" He doesn't want Levi to know how much he wants to do what he suggested.

A small smile finally graces Levi's face, "I know."

"Yeah whatever," Eren turns back around and walks out the door.


	11. Hesitation?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Levi tells the truth, but Eren still doesn't believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh Thursday.
> 
> So for anyone who was like 'Oh I wasn't expecting Armin to just jump on Eren's lap and just go for his life', well I'm trying to go off the Manga Armin a bit more. I'm not sure how many of you have actually read the Manga and are up to date with everything so I won't say anything else on the topic. But just know that Armin has two different sides.
> 
> I hope you guys aren't to angry with me for this chapter, though I promise I will make it up to you.. eventually.
> 
> So I'm extremely happy that I have now decided on how I want this story to end and I've pretty much written the last chapter for this story, it's just the getting there that is the annoying part and I can't wait to find out what you guys think. My best friend certainly isn't happy with me.
> 
> Oh and on another note, I am SouRin trash, so I have started another story for that ship. I will not be uploading it until I have finished writing Sixty Degrees (otherwise it will never be updated) but I thought I'd give you a heads up now if any of you are into Free! and more importantly SouRin (there will be other pairings as well but that's the main one) so you can check it out once I post it.
> 
> Anyway enjoy! Leave a comment, or kudos. Everything is appreciated and replied to.
> 
> (:

“Are you going to say yes?” Mikasa stares at her cousin with hard eyes.

“Why?”

“Oh come on, you know how crazy that boy is for you. At least give him a proper chance.”

Levi finally turns his head to look at her, his expression bored. “Where are you going?”

Her face perks up only slightly, “The carnivals on right now.”

“You know I can’t go.”

“Because of what happened?” She asks cautiously.

He nods slowly, turning his face away from her.

“When are you going to get over that? I mean you are aware of how irrational it is, right?”

“And that’s supposed to matter?” He snaps, about ready to get up and leave.

“Okay look. I’m sorry. But can you just try and do it for him?”

He stands up. “You’ll find out tomorrow.” Before he walks away.

**~~.~~**

“Eren, you really need to calm down,” Mikasa says, staring at the reflection of Eren bouncing around behind her.

“What? I am calm,” He answers, his bouncing not skipping a beat.

“If you keep doing that, you’re going to get all sweaty and then Levi really won’t want to be anywhere near you,” She replies, not taking her eyes off him.

He stares back at her, not stopping his frantic movements. She sighs, turning herself away from the mirror and walks over to him.

She places her hands on his shoulders, doing her best to comfort him, “What are you so nervous about anyway? You’ve spent plenty of time with him before now.”

He continues to tremble slightly under her hands, “Yeah, but I’ve never been on a date with him.”

“Don’t think of it as a date, because it doesn’t have to be one if you’re uncomfortable with that. It can just be a friendly hang out with the guy you desperately want to fuck.”

“Mikasa! I do not want to fuck him!” He shrieks, embarrassed by her bluntness. 

She shrugs, unfazed, “Then you want him to fuck you, whatever. I don’t pretend to know the workings of a gay relationship.”

He remains silent.

“And besides, Jean and I will be there the whole time, so there’s really no need to worry.”

“Except when you two ditch me to go off and do lovey dovey stuff on the Ferris Wheel,” He mumbles.

She takes her hands off his shoulders, and walks back over to the mirror to continue putting on her makeup, “Just go back to your room and get changed, I’ll meet you in the common room in ten minutes.”

She sighs as the door closes behind him; she hopes things go well for him tonight.

**~~.~~**

“Whoa, Eren what do you look so dressed up for?” Jean asks as soon as Eren steps into the common area.

He looks down at himself. He doesn’t particularly think ripped white skinny jeans, a blue flannel shirt and a black jacket is classed as dressing up, but he figures Jean is just trying to rile him up.

He shrugs turning to Mikasa, “Is he not here yet?”

She looks down at her small watch, checking the time. “No, but we better go now. He said he’d meet us out there.”

Jean whips his head around to stare at Eren, his eyes wide with surprise. “What do you mean we? Yeager’s not coming with us.”

Mikasa gives him a blank look, “I told you about this yesterday. Eren and Levi are coming with us.”

“Yeah, but I thought you were kidding.”

“Well then that’s your own fault,” She shoots back.

Jean opens his mouth, ready to say something else, but she cuts him off with a glare.

“Look, Eren is anxious enough without you saying shit to him. Now we’re going to be late if we don’t leave now,” She walks to the exit, not looking back to see if the two men follow her.

 

They manage to get half way to Mikasa’s car before Jean decides to bring the conversation back up. Elbowing Eren lightly in the side, he laughs, “So is this like a date?”

Eren doesn’t look at him, “You and Mikasa are on a date, and I’m just going on an outing with a friend.” He cringes at how lame that sounds.

“Ha whatever, Yeager,” He teases, walking faster to catch up to Mikasa and wrap him arm around her shoulders.

Eren stares at their backs as they walk in front of him. Mikasa leans herself slightly into Jean’s side, while his arm is securely placed around her shoulders.

They do look rather good together.

They all make it to Mikasa’s car and Eren sits in the back. He’s glad that the other two are too immersed in their own flirty conversation to notice him rubbing his sweaty palms repeatedly on the jeans covering his thin thighs.

 

Mikasa pulls into the makeshift dirt carpark for the carnival twenty minutes later. They walk the short distance up to the main entrance and pay for their tickets. As soon as they walk through the rolling gate they are immersed within the crowd of people waiting in line for rides and food. Mikasa leads them over to a spot near the entrance where there are less people, where they wait for Levi to show.

It’s another ten minutes before Mikasa looks down at her watch again and frowns.

“So what time did he say he’d meet us here?” He asks, the nervous feeling in his stomach grows more sickening the longer he looks at Mikasa’s expression.

“7 o’clock, which was ten minutes ago,” she replies, double checking her watch.

“So why doesn’t Yeager wait here, seeing as Levi is his date, and we go enjoy our night together,” Jean pipes up.

Her expression twists into a scowl as she looks at him and states, “I’m not just going to leave him here.” At the same time Eren mumbles, “It’s not a date.”

“Oh come on. He’s a big boy, aren’t you, Yeager?” Eren has the urge to punch the guy, but doesn’t think it would be all that appropriate.

“It’s fine, you guys go. I’ll just wait for him here a little longer,” He replies, attempting to brush the whole thing off.

“Like hell you are, you’re coming with us,” She grabs him by the wrist tightly, pulling him along behind her as they walk into the crowd. “If Levi decides to show up, then he can come and find us himself.”

Jean mutters something under his breath that neither of them can quite make out. Eren shoots him a glare anyway.

 

An hour passes before Eren decides to voice his desire to leave.

From the moment Mikasa stated that Levi was ten minutes late, Eren knew that he wouldn’t be seeing the raven haired man that night. But still he held out just the tightest sliver of hope that he would.

Jean groans as soon as the words leave Eren’s mouth.

“It’s fine, I think I’ve had enough here anyway, we’ll all leave,” Mikasa says, walking towards Eren.

Jean grabs hold of her hand to stop her from taking any steps closer to Eren.

“If Yeager wants to go home, then we should let him. We’re supposed to be on a date, and he’s been third wheeling this whole time.”

Mikasa whips her head around, glaring at him, “Don’t be such a dick.”

“Mikasa, its fine. I’ll just get a cab back,” She looks at Eren, as he stares at her.

She stares into his eyes, looking for any hint that he might not be okay with this, if he is he doesn’t show it.

Sighing, she says, “Are you sure, Eren?”

“Yes, now please go on and enjoy your night. I’ll see you two back at the dorm,” He gives them both a small smile.

They both return his wave before turning around and walking further into the carnival. Eren watches their backs until they are out of side before letting out a harsh sigh and collapsing onto the bench beside him.

He leans his head back against the metal fence behind him and closes his eyes. To anyone passing by he would look like he is recovering from one of the rides, and he’d like to keep it that way. He knows he should head out to the front of the grounds and hail a cab, but he can’t seem to find the motivation he needs to move. Instead he nestles himself further into the wooden bench, pulling his jacket tighter around him for warmth, and stays there.

**~~.~~**

Eren’s been sitting on this bench for a while, he checks his phone for the time, 9:40pm. He’s been sitting on the bench for almost half an hour and still Levi is a no show. He’s not really sure what he had expected.

Perhaps Levi would show up and maybe Eren would buy him fairy floss, because the weather is too cold for snow cones, and they would go on whatever rides interested the both of them. And maybe Levi would make Eren go on ‘The Claw’ that spins side to side and upside down, just so he can hear him squeal. And afterwards they would walk through the side show section and Eren would show off his shooting skills in front of Levi, and Levi’s eyes would light up when Eren hands him a giant teddy bear he’s won, that’s bigger than the man himself. And he would try and carry it under one arm, while holding onto Eren’s hand tightly as they stroll around the rest of the carnival, and everything would be perfect.

Eren would like to say that he wasn’t at all let down that this didn’t happen, but really as unrealistic as it is, it was all he wanted.

**~~.~~**

Mikasa and Jean find Eren slumped forward on a bench his head resting in his hands, two hours after they left him to go and do their own thing.

His phone sits beside him, opened up to Levi’s contact but shows that no communication has ever gone on between the two. Mikasa shuts it and sits down next to him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

“Eren?”

He makes no move to show that he’s heard her.

She shakes his shoulder slightly, “Eren, what are you doing?”

He lifts his head, rubbing his hands slowly over his face as he looks at her.

“Eren, why didn’t you just go home?”

“I meant to, but I ended up sitting here and the time just seemed to pass by.”

“Well come on then, we’re heading home now.”

She grabs Eren’s wrist in a tight grip and practically drags him to her car. When they’re all seated and she’s driving back to the university, Eren speaks up.

“So how was your guy’s night, anyway?”

Mikasa’s hands tighten around the steering wheel slightly, but still manages to say in a calm, level voice.

“It was good.”

Jean says nothing, and Eren decides that he’ll ask Mikasa about it another time.

 

They arrive back at the university, having managed to not say anything else between them the whole car ride, Eren even found himself missing their nauseating flirting. Mikasa pulls back into her original spot and the three of them begin walking back to the dorm. They’re almost to Building H when Eren changes direction, instead walking away from them towards Building K.

“Eren, where are you going?” Mikasa calls out to him from the doorway of building H, Jean is nowhere in sight.

“There’s something I need to do,” He yells back, giving her a small wave and continuing on his way.

Eren stops outside the doors to Building K, staring at the blinking black box on the wall with hard eyes. Realising he can’t get in without a key he sighs, resting his head against the glass door. He really should have thought this plan through more.

Just as he is about to turn around and make his way back to his own building a flash of blonde catches his eye through the door. He turns back placing his face against the glass to get a better look and sure enough there is Erwin, making his way down the staircase.

“Erwin,” He shouts, hitting his palm against the glass to get the man’s attention. He hasn’t had that much contact with Erwin, but he hopes the guy will help him out anyway.

The tall man looks over to the door, cringing slightly in disgust as he sees Eren’s breath fogging up the glass. He makes his way over, placing a hand on the handle and opening it inwards. Eren almost falls flat on his face before Erwin’s hand is gripping his shoulder, steadying him.

“Can I help you with something?” He asks, raising one of his thick eyebrows.

“I came to see Levi. Is he here?” Eren hadn’t even thought of the possibility of the shorter man not being here, he wants to talk to him while he still has this fire in his gut.

“Yeah, I think he’s up in his room,” The blonde replies, gesturing to the staircase.

He doesn’t voice so much as a thank you, before he’s barrelling up the staircase.

“You remember which room it is, right?” His voice calls after him.

He keeps moving forward, because yes, yes he does.

He stands outside Levi’s dorm room trying to collect himself.

Should he be doing this?

Is this a good idea?

Is he about to get punched?

He pushes all those thoughts to the back of his head because, Levi stood him up and that’s all there is to it.

He raises his shaking hand to the door, knocking harshly upon the solid wood. He waits a minute before he hears feet walking on the other side of the door.  The door is suddenly pulled open inwards and Eren opens his mouth to speak before realising Levi is already midsentence.

“For the last time, Hange, I don’t want to watch one of your home videos with you.”

The man’s eyes widen when he realises that Eren is the one standing in front of him. Eren feels his face heat up as he stares down at the man, his mouth hanging open. Levi stands in front of him, water droplets falling from the ends of his wet hair and onto his broad shoulders. Eren watches them as they trail down the dips of Levi’s abs before running out of sight. The brunette lets his eyes wander further down, noticing Levi is wearing jeans, button undone and barely staying up on his slender hips. Eren can see the top of the man’s briefs on full display. He stands so close that Eren can feel the heat coming off his body, more evidence of the shower he’s obviously just had. Eren tries his best not to think of Levi in the shower. His eyes make their way back up to meet Levi’s, for once not even caring at being caught staring, because fuck, is this guy some kind of god? Levi smirks causing Eren to physically gulp and slowly close his mouth.

“Oh it’s just you. So what brings you to my room, Eren Yeager?” He asks casually, leaning against the doorframe.

His muscles flex and tighten as he shifts position slowly; this guy knows exactly what he’s doing.

Eren can hardly remember his own name let alone come up with an answer to the question he’s just been asked, not when he’s in the same vicinity as the half-naked man. He can only blink and nod, not having any idea of what he’s agreeing to.

Levi’s cold eyes take in the younger boy’s expression, before he sighs and ushers him into his room.

“Go and sit down, I’ll be there in a second.”

He follows Levi’s words without hesitation; his legs carrying him down the hallway into the kitchen without him consciously telling them to. He sits down with a thud onto one of the wooden chairs; the haze in his mind beginning to dissipate the longer Levi is out of the room. He thinks about Levi’s question now that his mind is clear. Obviously he knows the reason why he’s here, and the second Levi comes back into the room, hopefully clothed, Eren is going to let him know to.

As if on cue, Levi walks casually into the room. Eren’s not sure if he’s happy or not about no additions being made to Levi’s attire except for the small towel he is now running through his dark hair. Eren gulps again, taking a breath to steady himself. He keeps his eyes trained onto Levi’s though every fibre in his being is urging him to look down. He grips the edge of the table, the painful strain in his fingers gives him something else to focus on.

“You never showed up,” He states, he knows that if he hesitates any longer this isn’t going to happen.

“Oh yeah, something came up,” Levi replies, attempting to brush the topic away.

“What?” Eren inquires, keen to hear his excuse.

Levi raises a thin eyebrow at Eren’s tone, “Why should I tell you?”

Are they seriously going to play this game again?

“Because I waited for you. Don’t you think I deserve an explanation?” Eren asks, cursing himself for sounding whiny, but he can’t help it.

Levi looks at him for a long moment, as if he’s debating with himself whether to tell Eren the truth, or allow them to keep going in circles. A small glint passes through his eyes, before he smirks.

“I get sick on carnival rides.”

“Bullshit, you asshole,” Eren yells, standing up from his chair and slamming his hands on the table in a rush of anger.

Levi stands up straighter, surprised at the brunette’s sudden action. Perhaps this night meant more to him that he had expected.

He looks down at the brunette.  Should he tell Eren the truth? The truth that’s so unbelievably ridiculous he’s sure to laugh in his face. Perhaps he’ll tell him, because he’s sure Eren won’t believe him anyway. And at least if he doesn’t, then that’s not Levi’s problem.

“I’m terrified of clowns.”

Though he says it in a tone that he doubts Eren will have any hope of believing.

“You expect me to believe that?” Eren asks, looking at Levi as if he’s insane.

“Believe what you want, it’s of no concern to me,” He brushes it off, as if what he said wasn’t really a big deal.

Eren looks at him pointedly. “Why can’t you just tell me why you didn’t show?”

“Why does it matter to you so much?”

Eren raises one eyebrow, “Is that a serious question?”

Levi ignores him, instead opting for,

“Look Eren Yeager, you came here for one thing and one thing only,” He moves taking a step closer.

“You didn’t come here to talk or to find out why I didn’t show up; no you came here for me.” He stands so close to Eren that the taller boy can feel his legs brushing against his own. “And if you stop talking for one second,” He grabs the back of Eren’s head pulling him down so they’re at eye level. His breath brushing against Eren’s dry lips. “You might just get what you came for.”

Eren doesn’t have time to react before Levi’s lips are pressed firmly against his. His eyes widen at the sudden contact, not sure how much he’s allowed to do in this situation. But when Levi doesn’t pull away he boldly grabs him by the hips and sits them both back on the chair, pulling Levi down onto his lap. He lets out a grunt as he connects with Eren’s lap, Eren keeps his hands wrapped around his back forcing Levi to straddle him. Eren feels pulling on the back of his scalp, which is not all together uncomfortable, as Levi grips his hair tightly between his fingers.

Eren moves his hands from their position on Levi’s back, now that he’s sure the older man is staying where he is, and trails them down to his hips. He gives a quick squeeze before boldly running his hands over Levi’s torso. The muscles are taut, the pale skin pulled tightly over them, and Eren can feel the lines and dips as his fingers brush over the flesh. He places one hand on the back of Levi’s neck, pulling the short hairs there, Levi let’s out the most arousing sound Eren has ever heard. Eren has had other sexual experiences before of course, but somehow this feels different. He’s never been so turned on by another man before; somehow Levi is capable of bringing out a somewhat animalistic side of Eren that he never knew he had. He wants to take Levi right here on this chair, have him writhing and moaning on top of him, but he knows that won’t happen. Levi doesn’t seem like the submissive type. If anyone is going to become a moaning begging mess, it’s going to be him, he’s has no doubt.

Levi’s body shudders as Eren continues to run his fingers over him. He disconnects their lips, placing his lips against Eren’s neck and biting playfully in response. Eren lets out an audible moan now that his lips are free; he angles his head away from Levi, allowing the man more access his neck.

His hands move to Eren’s shoulders, pulling the jacket off his arms before shoving his hands under Eren’s shirt, pulling it harshly up and away from the younger man’s body. His lips leave Eren’s neck for only a second to allow him to pull the shirt over his head before he continues his assault. He grinds down into Eren’s lap; feeling just how hard the man underneath him is. Eren moans again, thrusting his hips up to meet Levi’s in an effort to get more friction. Levi holds back his own moan, not wanting to let the younger man know how much he affects him. He smirks against Eren’s neck instead, pleased with the reactions he’s getting.

Eren’s trying to get Levi to meet his lips again, when the man abruptly lifts himself off him, standing in front of Eren who’s slumped slightly in the chair. He grabs Eren’s hand and pulls him along behind him. Eren stumbles along willingly as they walk down the short hallway to what he knows is Levi’s bedroom. He can feel himself getting harder at the thought of what they’re about to do.

This is not at all what Eren had expected when he’d begun banging against the door to the dorm building, waiting for anybody who would allow him to enter; it was only by a stroke of luck that Erwin had been nearby. Even when he entered Levi’s dorm room he was only expecting to chew him out about not showing up for their scheduled ‘date’ and then he would leave and vent to himself about Levi’s attitude in his own dorm before he fell asleep. He did not expect to be on the verge of having sex with the man. And as much as the idea excites him, there is a small unwavering part of him that’s terrified.

He’s about to open his mouth when Levi pulls him into the room and shoves him forcefully down onto the bed. He lands roughly on his back; his head hitting the pillows behind him. He stares up at Levi as he looms over him, his grey eyes hard and surprisingly clear, his hips pin Eren down as he straddles his waist. Due to Levi’s short size Eren had expected the man to be fairly light, but having him sitting on him now, he finds him to be surprisingly heavy. Though the man is rather muscular so he shouldn’t be surprised that he’s heavier for his size.

Levi leans down and runs his lips over Eren’s neck again, he feels something hot and wet run over his skin. Levi’s tongue. Goosebumps breakout as the cool air in the room hits the wet spot on his neck, causing a pleasurable shiver to run through his body. He vaguely notices Levi’s body moving lower on his own, his hands moving over Eren’s stomach towards the waistband of his pants. As Levi’s hands find it and begin to run under, the hesitant feeling in Eren returns. He doesn’t voice this straight away, instead allowing Levi to remove his pants completely, leaving him in just his boxers. Levi wastes no time in beginning to remove those as well, and Eren knows if he doesn’t say something now he won’t be getting another chance.

Levi’s not looking at him as he begins to pull his boxers down, and Eren snaps.

“Levi, wait!” He says loudly, pulling himself out from under him.

Levi topples to the side before he regains his balance and sits at the end of the bed on his knees, his face contorted in confusion.

“Please, can we just stop for a second?” He asks, staring into Levi’s questioning eyes.

He looks at him for a moment, his head tilting to the side as his eyes scan over Eren’s mostly exposed body.

“Don’t tell me you’re a virgin.”

Eren’s eyes grow wide, “What? No of course I’m not. I just -,”

“You just what?”

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” He shyly bows his head, hoping that he hasn’t just ruined everything.

“Okay.”

His head snaps up to see Levi shrug before he gets off the bed.

“What?”

He turns his head, eyes boring into Eren’s, “I’m not about to make you do something you don’t want to do. I’m not that kind of guy.”

“You mean you’re not disappointed?” Perhaps everything isn’t ruined.

Levi shrugs again, “I’m a little disappointed sure, but it’s not a big deal.”

Eren moves so he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, he stares up at the man his eyes studying his face for any resentment. “And you’re sure?”

Levi’s expression twists into annoyance, “Yes I’m sure. I’m not going to do that. If you don’t want to do it then it’s fine, I’m not about to force you.”

Eren sighs, releasing the breath he was holding, “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Eren gets off the bed, very aware that he is currently naked except for his boxers while Levi is still half dressed in his dark jeans. He grabs his jeans off the floor and begins to make his way out of the bedroom, leaving Levi to follow after him. He grabs his shirt off the ground where Levi chucked it and folds it over his arm.

“What are you doing?” Levi’s voice questions from behind him.

“I’m getting my clothes so I can leave?” It comes out like a question. Should he not be doing so?

“It’s pretty late so just stay here,” He says as he walks over to the kitchen sink.

“A-Are you sure?” Eren stutters, staring at the man’s back.

Levi turns back around, two glasses of water in his hands. He gives Eren an incredulous look, “Just because we’re not having sex doesn’t mean that you can’t stay here.”

Eren places his shirt over the back of the chair, unsure, “If that’s okay?” He’s still phrasing things as questions; he mentally kicks himself for being so conservative.

“Just get back into the bedroom,” Levi orders, following behind Eren so he moves faster.

Eren sits on the edge of the bed, watching as Levi sets the glasses of water on the small beside table before removing his jeans revealing the briefs Eren had gotten a glimpse of earlier, and walks back to the wall, flicking off the light.

Eren is all too conscious that Levi is one article of clothing away from being naked in the same room as him, and it should have made Eren feel better about his own clothing situation, but it doesn’t, instead he can feel himself getting worked up again. And due to what happened earlier there is no way he can be thinking about that.

The bed dips as Levi crawls onto it, moving to the side closest to the wall and climbing under the thick duvet. He looks over at Eren who is still sitting on the edge of the bed; he hooks his finger into the band of his boxers pulling them towards him.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Eren asks loudly, moving away from Levi’s fingers.

“Lie down, and go to sleep,” He answers, rolling around to face the wall as Eren finally lies back and makes himself comfortable.

“Thanks for this, Levi,” He says quietly into the dark room.

“Yeah.”

Eren closes his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel you Levi, they're terrifying creatures. *Shudder*


	12. Threats?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren eats his words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Thurs- I mean Wednesday! 
> 
> I have seven hours of University end of year exams to sit tomorrow, so I will have absolutely no time to upload this tomorrow, so enjoy another early update. 
> 
> This I realise is extremely short, but hopefully the chapters after will make up for this ones length. 
> 
> When I first started writing this story I thought that I would have a hard time finding place for a plot because Eren and Levi would be too busy putting their hands down each others pants, that being said there is a lot less smut in this than I had originally planned, so I'm sorry to the people who are reading this wondering when it's going to happen. And I am also very sorry for my teasing. I will let everyone know, for those interested in that side of the story that it will be happening in CHAPTER THIRTEEN! 
> 
> I have come up with the end and an epilogue for this story, and my best friend is currently not speaking to me.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy. Leave a comment or kudos. As always everything is appreciated and replied to.

Eren’s eyes open to the sunlight flooding into the room, a shiver runs through him as cool air hits his exposed body. He shifts slightly attempting to loosen the knots that have formed in his muscles overnight. An attempt to move his legs shows them to be tangled up in the blanket at the end of the bed. He looks down at the weight next to him, his bare chest tickled by a head of dark hair splayed across it. He stares down at the sleeping form of Levi pressed against his side, his breathing deep and even. He can’t help but stay on the fact that Levi had gravitated towards him during the night.

A moment later the man beside him shifts, let’s out a yawn and stares up into Eren’s eyes. For a while they’re both trapped in the depths of each other, until Levi pushes himself away, breaking all contact.

“Can you not stare at me like that,” He stretches his arms above his head, the sound of his shoulders popping fills the room, causing Eren to involuntarily shudder.

He allows his eyes to roam over Levi’s bare chest, feeling as if he has some sort of claim to it now. Not that he’s actually claimed it himself, but Levi let him stay over, so he figures it’s only a matter of time, if his stupid brain doesn’t get in the way again. He looks back up at Levi who is once again staring at him.

“Why?”

“Your eyes creep me out,” He states, shrugging as if his response is totally normal.

“What?” His voice rises into a half shriek, staring at Levi with wide eyes.

He stares at Eren, amused at how easy he is to rile up, “You have really big eyes, and they’re this weird teal colour. They creep me out.”

“You’re kidding, right?” He asks. This guy is crazy.

“No.”

He has no idea where this has come from. He’s known Levi for a while now, stared into his eyes as he reads the carefully hidden emotion within them, and now he decides to say that Eren’s eyes are creepy. What is this guy’s problem?

He stares at him, looking for any sign that he is trying to rile him up, but he finds nothing but his usual expressionless stare, not even a shred of humour.

“Okay then, way to ruin the mood, Levi.”

“What mood? There was no mood.”

“Yes there was, and now you’ve ruined it.” He’s done with making any attempt to hide his annoyance.

“Are you upset?” Levi asks, as if it isn’t obvious.

“Of course I’m upset; you just made fun of my eyes.” He gets up from the bed, tripping slightly on the blanket still tangled around his feet. He storms out of the room towards the kitchen, grabs his shirt and jacket off the chair where he left them last night and hastily pulls them on.

“I was stating a fact,” He hears from behind him, he whirls around to face Levi.

“You were being rude,” He answers bitterly.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving,” He says as he heads for the door.

Levi’s mood swings are something Eren has never experienced with another person before. It crosses his mind that Levi might actually be mad about what happened last night, or more what didn’t happen, but he finds himself settling on the conclusion that this is just the way Levi is, possibly bipolar. A somewhat decent human being one minute and then cold asshole the next minute. He can’t keep up.

“Why?”

He whips around, hand clutching around the doorhandle, “Why do you think?”

Levi causally strolls up to him, “Oh come on, Eren Yeager. Don’t be so over dramatic.”

“You think I’m being dramatic?”

He shrugs, unfazed by Eren’s anger, “Don’t you?”

“No, I really don’t.”

“Wait here,” Levi says walking back down the corridor before Eren can give him an answer.

He returns a moment later in black jeans and an ombrè purple sweater. In Eren’s rage he didn’t even get to appreciate that Levi was standing in front of him in only his very small underwear. He mentally kicks himself.

“Let’s go get breakfast,” He says, grabbing his dorm key off the table and walking towards the door.

Eren walks after him, “We’re not eating here?”

“I don’t keep much food up here; we’ll go down to the common room.”

They take the stairs silently; somehow Levi is able to calm Eren down without doing anything but catching him off guard with his words. Eren had expected the short man to throw him out the second he raised his voice at him, instead he made Eren’s head spin with the mention of breakfast together, in public, kind of.

Levi leads him straight through the common room and into the kitchen. Eren looks around the space, it’s certainly bigger than the one in his dorm building, but other than that it’s the same. All except for the three heads that lift up simultaneously as they enter.

Hange and Erwin both sport grins stretched across their faces, giving Levi knowing looks which he blatantly ignores as he walks over to the fridge. Petra, looks between Levi and Eren curiously, a deep scowl settling onto her small face.

Eren stands off the side, slightly uncomfortable in the current situation. Levi, head still stuck in the fridge as he rummages around for something for them to eat calls.

“Are you just going to stand there? Or are you actually going to sit down?”

Eren jumps slightly, staring at his back.

“You going to eat standing up?”

Eren looks over to the three people sitting on the stools, all but one looking at him expectantly.

“Oh come on, Eren. We don’t bite,” Hange cheerful voice rings loudly in his ears.

Eren begins to pull out the chair next to him, when she continues with a wink, “But who knows, you might like that.”

His mouth drops open, horrified as he stares at her, “W-What?”

“Oh calm down, I’m only kidding,” She pulls his chair out fully for him, urging him to take a seat. “Though I mean you should know already.”

He looks up at Levi who’s not looking their way as he gets their breakfast together. Eren can’t tell if he’s listening to Hange on not. He swallows, not sure of what he should say. Though they didn’t actually do anything but kiss and sleep in the same bed together last night, Eren doesn’t feel like he should have to tell the others anything. It was between Levi and himself.

Instead he ignores Hange’s curious stare, “So Levi, what’s for breakfast?”

“Eggs and toast,” He replies, turning around with a plate of eggs and two slices of toast. He sets it down in front of Eren, and hands him a cup of coffee.

“You’re not eating?” The brunette asks, staring down at the plate in front of him.

Levi shakes his head, taking a sip from his own mug.

Eren watches the way the man drinks, the mug has a handle but he notices Levi decides that it is not of importance and instead opts to hold the rim of the cup between his fingers. Eren finds it odd, but all the more intriguing. He’s never seen someone drink like that before. He’s about to ask Levi about the quirk, when a flash of silver dives towards his plate and steals a chunk of his eggs.

“Hey!” He half yells at the thief, looking up to see Levi chewing slowly, fork in hand as he looks disinterested at the other three. “You said you weren’t hungry.”

Levi speaks to the other three, “Did I say that?”

Hange shakes her head vigorously, a grin plastered on her face.

Levi looks over at Eren’s face with amusement. “Hurry up and eat or it will get cold.”

He doesn’t need to be told again, knowing that it will be stolen from right under his nose if he hesitates any longer. He puts a forkful to his mouth and begins shovelling it in; not missing the sly forkfuls that Levi takes from the side of his plate.

“So Levi, perhaps you can give us all the juicy details of last night instead,” Erwin speaks up, looking between the two.

“And why is that any business of yours?” Levi asks, casually leaning against the breakfast bar, grabbing a piece of Eren’s toast.

“Because we’re your best friends,” Hange says excitedly, leaning over the counter to be closer to Levi.

“And he looked like a crazed maniac before I let him into the building. Quite frankly, Levi, I didn’t think we’d see you alive again,” Erwin says with a smirk, glancing at Eren.

Levi takes a bite out of the half eaten bit of toast sitting on Eren’s plate and chews it slowly, he looks as though he’s weighing up whether he should tell them or not. But there’s nothing to tell, so either Levi will tell them that or he’ll make something up. Honestly at the moment he couldn’t care less about what he says, his eyes only focusing on Levi and that bit of toast, the toast that he had been biting into only seconds before. He knows it shouldn’t be affecting him like it is, but the fact that Levi is sharing his food means something to him.

He watches as Levi shrugs again, his eyes shifting quickly to Eren before returning back to his friends, “I doubt you’d want to hear about all the dirty bits.”

“What?” Hange lunges out of her chair, practically lying across the bench top. “Of course we do, you know we can handle it.”

He stares at her with a blank expression before winking, “Oh Hange, you’re dirty but you’re not that dirty.”

Eren can feel his cheeks turning a bright shade of red at Levi’s words. Though they did nothing but kiss the fact that Levi was now telling them that it was too dirty to reveal surprisingly made Eren the most embarrassed he’s ever been.

“Leeeevi,” She whines, staring at him with pleading eyes.

He sighs, “All I’ll say is that the guy’s willing to do anything in order to satisfy.”

Eren feels his eyes widen into giant orbs, what the fuck is Levi saying? He ducks his head in an attempt to cover his blush as all eyes turn to him. Two mixed with shock and excitement, one with anger but still trying to conceal it, and then there’s Levi, silently mocking him.

“Oh god, the poor guy looks like he’s about to cry,” Hange says, scooting closer to Eren and wrapping her arm around his shoulders.

A stool is suddenly pushed back and shoved roughly against the breakfast bar. Petra stands, grabbing her bag off the floor and turning towards them with blank eyes.

“I’ll see you guys later, I have class.”

Eren watches her walk out of the room, before looking down at his phone.

“Oh shit, I have to go to,” He realises he still has to go back to his own dorm to grab his books. He turns towards Levi, suddenly unsure of what to do, should he hug him? He opts for an awkward wave and regrets it straight away. “Thanks for the breakfast, Levi. I’ll ah, see you later.”

He turns around, walking swiftly until he’s out of their sight before running for the door. He waved. He actually just waved at Levi. The fuck was he thinking? He picks up his pace again as he exits the building, running hastily his dorm.

 

He gets through his two hour class, though not much information gets through to him. His tutor called on him to share his opinion on the readings, where he fumbled through the first thing that popped into his head. She didn’t call on him again after that.

He’s just grabbed his phone out of his pocket to check the time, when the tutor announces the end of class. He packs his books up, walking slowly behind the rest of the students heading back out into the quad. He begins walking towards the cafeteria when a warm hand wraps tightly around his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. He turns around to face the person, surprised to see a glaring Petra Ral standing in front of him.

Even a head shorter than him, Petra is as intimidating as if she were towering over him.

“Stay away from him,” she says, through clenched teeth.

“What?” He can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“Stay away from Levi,” She repeats slowly, so there is no room for misunderstanding.

“You can’t be serious,” He scoffs. This whole things has to be a joke.

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” Her expression remains tense and angry, no remnants remain of the sweet girl he knows from class.

“What are you doing Petra? You don’t own him,” He gives her a hard stare. Trying his best to act as if this isn’t affecting him.

“I know what he wants, and it’s not you,” Her tone insinuates that what Levi wants is her.

She’s pissing him off, and in this moment he’s glad Levi lied to the three of them this morning so he could use it now.

“Huh, that’s not what it seemed like last night,” He smirks.

“You’re lying,” Her tone returning to one of anger.

His smirk grows as he looks down at her. “Am I? You know he makes this choked moaning sound when you pull the hair at the back of his neck,” Feeling bold, he leans down slightly to whisper in her ear as if the whole thing was some secret.  “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything more arousing.”

She remains silent, and he knows that she’s heard that sound before. He’d said it to get the upper hand on her but her reaction to it makes him angry. His whole plan was to rile her up, let her know that he’s not lying and that Levi is his, but to see her reaction of absolute shock, all traces of doubt gone, it angers him to know for sure that she’s had him to.

She’s had him more than he has.

Then she’s smirking. It looks out of place, twisting her face into an expression he thought she’d never be capable of conjuring up. “It won’t last. Soon enough he’ll have his fill of you or you’ll do something to make him leave you and I’ll be right there for him.”

She stands on her toes, bringing her face in close to his ear, “He likes it when I help him.”

His fingers instinctively curl into his palms, pain shoots up his arms, but he remains silent. She hit a nerve and she knows it.

She begins to walk away, smirk still plastered on her petite face, “I’ll see you later, Eren.”

He doesn’t turn around to watch her go as his nails dig further into his palms.

He hates her.


	13. Lasagna?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren cooks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating today, because I have work tomorrow..
> 
> So this is more of a filler chapter than an actual plotty chapter. It serves more for setting up ships and just brings the whole story down a step. So I hope nobody minds that. I know people are waiting (maybe not so patiently) for the smut and I promise. IT WILL BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. So sit tight for that. 
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. I outlined what I wanted to happen up until chapter twenty eight, so despite what I said a while back about this story only being between twenty and thirty chapters, it is definitely now going to be over thirty chapters. The end chapters are kind f heavy, but we need a little bit of that. 
> 
> And I have a little bit of a surprise around chapter fifteen (:
> 
> Anyway, leave a comment or kudos. I try to reply to everything, and everything as always is appreciated.

"What the hell is that?" Sasha's high pitched shriek sounds from beside him.

Eren looks over at her, his eyes wide in fright. When did she walk in? He glances down at the bowl on the counter. "Ah, noodles?"

She stares down into the steaming bowl with disgust, "I know what it is, Eren. I suppose I should have asked why the hell you are eating it."

His eyes move from Sasha to the bowl and back slowly, "I always eat this."

Her look of disgust slowly morphs into one of pure unabashed horror, "You're kidding me?"

He shakes his head.

"You know, just because everyone says that uni students only have enough money to afford two minute noodles, doesn't mean that it's actually true."

He shrugs turning to face the bowl as he adds his flavouring, "I don't know how to cook."

"How is that even possible?"

"No that's not really it. It's not that I don't know how, it's that I don't enjoy it." He twirls his fork around in the middle and takes a large bite. "So noodles it is."

She stares at him as if he'd just recited pi to the fiftieth digit. A small mischievous glint flashes through her brown eyes. "Do you have any plans tomorrow, Eren?"

"Oh well I was thinking of going with Arm-,"

"No, cancel them," She cuts him off with a wave of her hand. "Tomorrow you're coming shopping with me."

"What why?"

"Because we'll need more ingredients if I'm going to teach you how to cook."

He waves his hands around in front of him, "No Sasha, you don't have to do that, really."

"Oh trust me I do."

She begins to walk out of the kitchen, calling over her shoulder, "I'll see you here in the morning, Eren."

He looks back down at his noodles warily.

He wishes tomorrow wasn't Saturday.

~~.~~

"Eren, you ready to go to the gallery?"

He looks up from his steaming mug of coffee towards the sound of the voice, "I can't today, Armin. Sasha's roped me into going shopping with her."

He's honestly wishing for any excuse to get out of it, but he knows Sasha will be down any minute to drag him out the door. He's sure that if he were to run she'd hunt him down until he caved to her demands, so he stays put.

Armin sits down next to him with a questioning look, "For clothes or food?"

"Food. She's teaching me how to cook today," His head makes contact with the bench in front of him as he heaves out a sigh.

"Huh, well I think that would be good for you, get you away from all those noodles."

He lifts his head back up, staring right into clear blue eyes, "But Armin, I like the noodles."

A small smile plays on the edge of his mouth, "Yeah I heard that you do."

Eren lifts a thick eyebrow, "Why do I get the feeling you're not referring to the same noodles anymore?"

Armin shrugs getting up from his seat and walking to the fridge, a teasing glint in his eye, "You should know that Hange is quite the gossip."

The colour quickly drains from Eren's face as Armin's words register in his sluggish morning brain. Hange's gone around telling people what she thinks happened between Levi and him because Levi just had to open his mouth. "Dammit," His fist collides with the bench top.

"Eren it's not that big a deal. You guys like each other, that's good, isn't it?" The blonde stares down at Eren's hand still clenched tightly.

"It's not true," He says, barley above a whisper.

Armin walks back over to him, leaning down on the bench so they can speak lower. "What's not?"

"We didn't go that far. Levi just told them that because he was trying to embarrass me, and now everyone knows and I just, I don't think I want them to." Somehow having everyone know about whatever kind of relationship he has with Levi, makes him feel even more vulnerable. As if the whole thing, as fragile as it is, could break apart at any moment, he's not comfortable feeling like that.

"Oh, well I mean that's fine. If it's just a rumour then you shouldn't let it bother you," Armin replies, concerned for his friend. "But is it so bad that people know?"

He looks up, straight into Armin's eyes, "I don't even know what Levi and I are, and I don't want everyone to know if it ends up breaking apart."

Armin nods, opening his mouth to speak, and Sasha with as great timing as always chooses that second to walk into the kitchen.

"Morning. You ready to go, Eren?"

"Yeah," He pushes himself out of his stool, and walks over to the sink to wash his mug.

Armin remains causally against the bench, staring at the two of them. "So what are you planning to do with him exactly, Sasha?"

"Oh, it's going to be a splendid day of cooking for our dear little, Eren," She replies, hooking her arm through the brunette's. "We'll be cooking dinner for everyone tonight, so spread the word would you, Armin."

He nods, glancing at his reluctant friend. He gives him a look that says 'we'll talk more later', before Sasha is dragging Eren out of the dorm.

~~.~~

Eren's not sure how Sasha ended up making him pay for most of the food that's currently cluttering the bench top before them. Surely they do not need this much food.

He's just setting down the last bag, as Sasha begins grabbing pots and cooking utensils out of the cupboards. "So what are we cooking anyway?"

"Well since your specialty is two minute noodles, we'll start you off with something easy. I'm thinking lasagna. We're going to need enough for everyone, so I'll get you started on the meat and we'll go from there,"

"Ah, yeah sure," Eren replies, not feeling the least bit inclined to do anything.

~~.~~

Two hours later the aroma of cooked meat and cream sauce fills the air as Eren finishes washing the last of the saucepans. Sasha left some time ago once the two large lasagnas had been placed into the oven to cook. She mentioned that she couldn't stick around to clean up their mess as she had somewhere else to be, well he had somewhere else to go today with Armin, but yet he stayed for her enjoyment. The whole afternoon he never felt one tiny bit of accomplishment, and now he's been left alone to clean up the mess that was almost entirely hers anyway. He sighs placing the saucepan onto the rack to dry and wipes his hands on the tea towel draped over his shoulder. He slumps down into one of the stools feeling utterly exhausted when he hears footsteps coming towards the room.

He turns his head towards the sound as a head of blonde hair comes into view.

"So, you're finally done then?" Armin asks, taking a seat next to Eren.

"Yeah, thankfully. I'm not sure how much more I could have taken."

Armin shrugs, giving him an apologetic look, "She can go a bit over board when it comes to food and cooking."

"Yeah," He replies, wanting nothing more than to curl up on one of the couches and sleep.

Armin stares down at the slumped form of Eren, he knows there's something bothering him, it's the reason he came looking for him in the first place, but he doesn't know if he's allowed to just bring it up.

"Are you doing okay, Eren?"

The brunette lifts his head slowly, his tired eyes meeting Armin's concerned ones.

"Do I look like I'm not?"

"No, it's just, what you were saying this morning, you sounded as if you were upset."

Eren shakes his head slowly, "It's not that I was upset, more confused, or on edge maybe. I'm just not good at this stuff, relationship stuff I mean. I don't know what to do."

"Are you and Levi dating?" He asks, genuinely curious of the answer.

"No, but that's the thing. We're not dating, and yet there's something between us, and I'm not sure if Levi is interested in anything other than physical, and it's driving me insane. I don't want to do something that might ruin what we have, but I'm not sure if this is what I want." Eren searches Armin's eyes for even a hint of understanding, but the blonde shows nothing but concern.

"You won't know anything until you talk to him about it. And if he writes you off, then you don't need him. Find the people who actually want you in their lives, Eren."

He shrugs, he knows that there is no way Armin can understand what he's feeling, but he appreciates the blonde for trying anyway. He gives him a small smile as he stands up.

"Thanks Armin. I'm gonna go have a shower; I'll see you at dinner."

~~.~~

He comes back down to find the table in the common room crammed with his friends. The stools from the kitchen have been pulled over so everyone has a seat. They're all too busy discussing amongst themselves to notice him as he slips past into the kitchen. Sasha stands next to the stove, wearing the same oven mitts and the apron she'd had on earlier in the day. She turns around, holding one of the steaming dishes of lasagne in between her hands.

"Oh Eren, can you grab those two salads there?"

He walks over to the bench where two big bowls of mixed salad have been prepared; Sasha must have done it when she made it back to the dorms after ditching him. He picks them both up and follows her out into the common room, where his friends all cheer the arrival of the food. He places both bowls on the table and takes a seat between Armin and Sasha. He waits until everyone else has served themselves before grabbing a small serving for himself, he didn't want to say anything to Sasha that might ruin her excitement, but he hates lasagne.

"So Eren, what brought this on?" Marco asks around a mouthful of lettuce.

"Ask Sasha," The words come out harsher than he wanted, but this day has been too long and he just wants it to be over.

Marco, unfazed shifts his gaze to Sasha.

"Eren's been eating two minute noodles every night for dinner since he got here, so I thought he should learn how to make a proper nutritious meal," A wide grin spreads across her face, at least she's please with herself.

Marco's gaze shifts back to Eren, "Well thank you for the meal, Eren."

He gives Marco a small smile, as a chorus of 'thank you' sounds around the table. Before everyone's quite as they eat.

He finishes first, having only grabbed a small portion and looks around the table at his new friends, having not seen them all together in a while. Everyone's become too immersed in their studies to be able to organise or attend the recent parties, and Eren finds himself okay with that. As much as he enjoys their company he'd much prefer to keep to himself.

His eyes slowly drift to Mikasa noticing she hasn't said a single word the whole time they've sat here, granted she's not a talkative person to begin with, but he at least expected her and Jean to be whispering to each other. He looks to the people beside her, neither of them Jean. He glances around spotting jean across the table a few seats away from Mikasa seated right next to Marco. His eyes linger on the two before they move back to Mikasa, who now stares right into his eyes. She holds his gaze for a second before her own drifts over towards Jean and then back down at her plate. He keeps his mouth shut, knowing that now is not the right time. He continues to watch as Mikasa finishes her plate, never once looking back up.

Everyone finishes some time later and Armin and Marco volunteer to do the dishes, which everyone gladly agrees too. Eren watches Mikasa stand without a word and walk swiftly out of the common room. He pushes himself out of his own chair quickly and follows her. She's just exited the building when he catches up to her.

"Hey Mikasa, are you doing okay?" He asks, lightly grabbing her hand as it swings backwards.

She turns around quickly, her eyes softening when he recognizes Eren, "Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?" She keeps her tone light, but her eyes give her away.

"That's what I came to ask you." He looks her over curiously. "What's been going on with you lately? I haven't seen you much since the carnival."

"Yeah, I've been really busy with assignments," Her eyes flick quickly to the side as she responds.

He knows that isn't true, there is only one person who is quicker at getting their school work done than Mikasa and that's Hange. He knows that Mikasa would never allow her assignments to pile up.

"Mikasa, tell me the truth," His eyes hard. He doesn't appreciate being lied to, no matter how small.

"What? I am," She says, looking anywhere but at his face.

"You know, I haven't known you for all that long, but I do know what your attitude towards school is," He softens his voice as he speaks. "Come on, you can tell me," He tightens his hold on her hand, leading her away from the door.

"Seriously Eren, it's nothing. I'm probably overreacting anyway," She attempts to pull her hand away, but he refuses to loosen his grip.

"Is it because of Jean?" He asks bluntly, but still keeping his tone soft. He watches her face with piercing teal eyes, looking for any indication that she's lying to him again.

Mikasa's eyes snap up, as they search for any reason as to why he would ask that question.

"W-Why would you think that?" Stuttering is out of character for her, which only further proves his thoughts.

He shrugs, "You two haven't seemed as close recently. At the carnival the other night you both seemed tense, so I didn't mention it. And then tonight at dinner, you didn't sit together."

"Yeah," She whispers as her dark eyes drift back down to the ground.

"Did you guys break up?" He prods.

"No it's nothing like that. It's just -," She waves the idea away with her hand as if it were ridiculous.

"Just what?" He pushes, needing to know.

"He hasn't wanted to be around me lately, and I don't know why," Mikasa eyes lift back up to meet his. They're blurry, as she attempts to hold back tears.

"Do you think he's interested in someone else?" He hates to ask it, but what else would he think?

"I don't know. I don't know who it would be."

"I'll say something to him," He states, his tone turning hard.

"No, Eren don't! That'll only make things worse," She grabs hold of his arm, as if he would run at any second. This is very out of character for her.

"Yeah, maybe it will. But he's made you sad, and I don't like that," His voice keeps its sharp edge as he looks down at her.

"Please just don't worry about me," She pleads. He hates seeing her like this.

"That's like asking me to stop breathing, I can't do it, Mikasa," He keeps his eyes soft as he looks at her.

"You're a good friend, Eren," She says before pulling her hand out of his grip and walking in the opposite direction.

He watches her go, eager to talk to Jean.


	14. Finally?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they finally fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I thought it was a bit mean to make you guys wait almost another entire week for some smut. So here you are!
> 
> I hope people aren't let down after apparently waiting for it for thirteen chapters..
> 
> Also I only have nineteen and a half chapters written as of right now because I haven't felt inclined to write like anything recently, so I'm trying to stick to my weekly updates so I don't run out of chapters..
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, enjoy. Leave a comment or kudos Everything is appreciated (:

Eren wakes up energised and extremely pissed off.

He’d promised Mikasa that he wasn’t going to do anything brash. It’s not like he’s actually going to ruff Jean up, they don’t even know if he’s done anything worth condemning yet. He just wants to talk to him, and try and figure out what’s going through that thick skull of his.

He drags himself out of bed, hoping Jean is conveniently down in the common room when he gets there. Though he wants to yell at Jean, he doesn’t necessarily want to go looking for the guy to do so. He skips a shower, quickly pulling on jeans and a sweater, the light breeze blowing through his window tells him that the day is unseasonably warm for this time of year. He grabs his phone and wallet, shoves them into his pockets and heads out of his room.

He skips down the steps two at a time heading straight towards the common room. He doesn’t have much time before his shift starts this morning, so he wants to get this talk with Jean over and done with as quick as he can. He rounds the corner, his mood instantly lifting when he spots the unmistakable hair of Jean making himself a coffee. Eren walks into the kitchen, his eyes scanning the room for anyone else who might happen to be up early, he finds no one.

“Morning, Yeager. What’s up?” Jean says, uncharacteristically cheerful for this time of the morning, or anytime really.  

Eren temper rises suddenly; the fact that Jean seems so chipper while Mikasa is suffering boils his blood. He wishes he had more time, but as the morning would have it he has an early shift at sixty degrees in less than twenty minutes. There’s no time for pleasantries.

“What’s going on with you and Mikasa?”

Jean chokes mid sip, his small eyes wide as he stares at Eren. “Why is that any of your business?”

He shrugs, as if the answer is obvious, “She’s one of my friends.”

“And that gives you the right to put your nose into other people’s business?” Eren remains silent, trying to think of the best way to go about this without starting a fight. “Wait, did Mikasa say something to you?”

“She didn’t really have to, it was easy to tell something wasn’t right by the way you two acted towards each other, or more the way you were acting towards her.”

Jean scoffs turning away from the brunette to chuck the rest of his coffee down the sink. “This is none of your business, Eren. If Mikasa has a problem with something I’m doing then she can come to be about it herself.”

He brushes past Eren; his shoulder hitting the brunette’s hard. Eren stumbles to the side before grabbing hold of the bench to regain his balance. Something is definitely up with him. He looks towards the door that he just exited, half of him wanting to rush after him and force him to explain himself, while his other more logic half tells him that if he runs after him now there will most definitely be a fight. So he stands and waits until he hears the building door slam shut before leaving the dorm himself, running to get to his shift on time.

If there’s one person who might be able to tell Eren what’s going on, one person who’s been hanging around Jean a lot lately, then Eren will talk to him.

He’ll tell him what’s going on, he’s sure of it.

~~.~~

The shift drags by slower than usual. Eren wanted to question Marco the second the taller boy walked into work but due to the constant string of customers he was never given the chance. He noticed Marco looks tense today, his usual stupid grin nowhere to be seen. Eren caught the dark haired boy looking over at him every once in a while, but never once did he make a move to speak. Every time Eren’s eyes met his he would look away quickly. Only adding more fuel to Eren’s curiosity.

They’re hanging up their work aprons on their designated hooks when Eren corners him. Marco’s facing away as he grabs his bag when Eren speaks.

“Hey Marco, are you okay?”

The man flinches, turning around slowly to look at him. “W-What do you mean?”

He leans casually against the wall, looking his friend over, “You just seem a little off today. Has something happened?”

He figures it’s better to ease into the conversation; he doesn’t want to scare Marco off.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” The slight waver in his voice does not go unnoticed by Eren.

Eren shrugs, “Okay then.”

Marco lets out a visible sigh of relief as he begins to head towards the door.

Eren follows after him gently placing his hand on Marco’s arm, “Oh Marco, I wanted to ask you something.”

His head turns back, the smile on his face not concealing the worry in his eyes, “Yeah sure, what is it?”

“Have you noticed anything weird between Mikasa and Jean?” Marco remains silent, his smile slowly slipping. “I mean personally I’ve noticed that they haven’t been as close lately. And Mikasa is so worried, she’s afraid she’s going to lose him.”

That last bits not true, but he figures he can try and exploit the softer side of Marco. He knows that he should feel guilty about doing such a thing, but all those thoughts leave his head when Marco’s face falls.

He’s got him.

“Is that true? Does Mikasa love Jean that much?”

Eren wouldn’t have a clue, Mikasa and Jean haven’t been together all that long, so Eren doubts that there is any love between them. But now that Marco’s brought it up, he knows can use it.

“Yeah, I mean she told me she’s never felt this way about another person before. She’s been talking about making plans with Jean for after they graduate, so I’d say that she’s pretty serious about him.” He surprises himself by how easy he’s able to lie through his teeth.                                        

Marco pulls his arm out of Eren’s grip, causing the brunette’s to fall back down against his side. Marco runs his hands harshly over his face, his fingers bury in his hair as he pulls at it.

“Oh my god, what have I done? I swear I didn’t mean to do it,” He moves his hands from his face, staring at Eren with brown eyes wide with panic. “Eren, you have to believe me, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Eren’s own eyes widen at the sudden outburst. He reaches his hands out towards Marco, before realising he has no idea what to do with them, so they just remain awkwardly suspended in between. “Marco, what are you talking about?”

“I mean it’s not like we’ve actually done anything, but I really like him and he seems to really like me. And I don’t want to hurt Mikasa, but I didn’t realise how serious she was with him. He didn’t tell me.”

His rambling continues as Eren tries to make sense of his words.

“You mean you and Jean?”

Marco stops his ramblings to nod. “I mean we’ve never actually done anything, but there’s something there between us.”

“Oh my god, Marco. You like Jean?”

He nods again. “Please don’t tell anyone about this, Eren. Please not until I’ve talked to Jean.”

He wouldn’t know what to tell people anyway, so he nods agreeing to Marco’s wishes.

He finally places a hand on his shoulder, no sure what else he can do to comfort the man. “It’s going to be okay, Marco.”

Marco gives him a small smile, before he turns around and walks out of the staff entrance. Eren follows after him.

He stands in the quad just outside the building, he was planning on walking back to the dorm with Marco but he’s already marched ahead, that’s probably for the best, it’ll give him time to talk with Jean. He looks up at the sky noticing how dark it is, the time gives Eren limited options on what he can do, the library would be closing soon so he can’t go study, and he doesn’t particularly fell like sitting in his dorm room. He smiles to himself as he realises his only remaining option, his feet begin to carry him towards building K before his brain gives them a direct order to do so.

He gets to the glass door and curses the people who decided to put a secure card swipe on them. He looks through the glass, searching for anyone who can let him in, letting out a harsh sigh when he spots no one. He gives a tentative knock against the glass and waits.

A second later a head of dark brown hair rounds the corner as they walk out of the common room. He presses his face against the glass to get a closer look. Hange’s eyes light up as she spots him, nose squished and breath fogging up the glass. She quickens her pace with a skip propelling herself faster towards him. She places her hand on the handle, pushes it down and opens the door, allowing him to enter the building. As soon as he shuts the door behind him the breath is knocked out of his lungs as she pulls him into a tight hug.

“Oh Eren, how are you? What are you doing here?” She asks, excitedly. Her voice ricochets around his head as her excitement reaches new heights.

He disentangles himself from her almost as quickly as she jumped him.

“I ah, just finished my shift and thought I’d drop by.”

He’s suddenly feeling unsure about coming here, he was just hoping to see Levi and conveniently avoid the others, but as fate would have it, that will not be happening tonight.

“Oh come to see Levi, I presume,” She replies with a wink.

 “Well yeah,” He can feel the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

She looks him over for a second before breaking into another grin. “Well then, come this way.”

She motions for him to follow her as she begins walking back towards the common room. He looks at the staircase they’re walking away from, longingly.

“Thanks Hange, but I can just go up the stairs now.”

“He’s not up there,” She responds, not looking back.

He gives her back a confused look.

So then why was she leading him to the common room?

As they get closer to the doorway, voices begin to make their way to him. He can hear Erwin talking about something that happened in his drama class earlier that day; Eren can’t quite make out the details. Another voice answers, but Eren can neither understand what they say or determine who the voice belongs to. All too soon Eren is standing next to Hange in the doorway as three heads turn to look at them. His eyes wander over the blonde head of Erwin, sitting in one of the single armchairs; he sits up proper, one leg crossed over the other. Levi sits in the other single armchair; his legs tucked underneath him, as he leans on the arm, his hand resting on an open book. His eyes meet Eren’s, the first thing he notices is the pair of black thick rimmed glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. Eren’s breathe hitches in his throat as Levi gives him a sly smirk, before his grey eyes drift back down to his book.

His eyes move to the last person in the room, noticing a head of short light brown hair, he recognises her instantly as Petra. She glances at him quickly with a look of disgust before looking quickly away.

“Hey guys, look who’s here,” Hange yells, her voice filled with excitement. Why she’s so excited he has no idea, he’d rather not question it. “Just take a seat on the couch there, Eren.”

She points to the three seater couch Petra is currently occupying; Eren looks at Hange wearily, as she urges him to sit down. Petra looks up again as he walks closer; shifting her position to the end of the couch. To the others it would look as if she was just moving to make room for him, but he knows that she probably can’t stand to be any closer to him than she has to be. Eren sits down cautiously at the other end of the couch, making sure not to jostle it too much, he doesn’t know if the other three know what happened between Petra and him the other day, but if they don’t he’d like to keep it that way. Hange smiles, as she sits between the two, as if they’re all just one big happy, slightly dysfunctional family.

“So what brings you here, Eren?” Erwin asks him, as if the answer wasn’t sitting right across from him.

Eren lifts his eyes up to meet the older man’s bright blue ones, they remind him of Armin’s which causes  an affectionate feeling to grow within his chest towards the man.

“I just ah, came to ah -,”Eren begins. He can’t just come out and say the reason, can he? Especially when he can feel Levi’s eyes staring a hole into the side of his face.

“You came to see Levi, right Eren?” Hange speaks up, nudging Eren’s side teasingly with her elbow.

He looks over at her to avoid Levi’s eyes, “Ah yeah, yeah I guess.”

A scoff comes from the far end of the couch, Eren’s eyes drift to Petra, who’s looking down at her phone. He knows she’s referring to the topic of conversation.

“Why are you so embarrassed, Eren? It’s not like we don’t already know,” Hange says, adding fuel to the fire.

“I’m not embarrassed,” He answers harshly. Why should he have to defend his actions?

Levi sits watching the whole ordeal take place. Hange as usual taking pleasure in making the people around her uncomfortable, where he used to find the particular trait irritating, he now finds it somewhat endearing. Petra on the other hand looks to be engrossed in whatever she is doing on her phone, but he can see right through it. She’s been odd around him since he met Eren, he’d noticed that she’d become even clingier than she usually is, before he would have simply ignored it, but now she’s beginning to irritate him. He moves his eyes to Eren who’s finally looking at him as if to ask him what he should be doing. He stares back, wanting to see for himself what Eren does to get himself out of the situation; he too enjoys the embarrassment of others. He looks back over at Petra who now has hard amber eyes trained on Eren, as he stutters embarrassingly to get himself through this.

He watches as Eren stops talking, places his hands on the seat next to him, and begins to push himself up.

“Okay, I’m just going to go -”

Hange jumps up quickly, forcing him to stop as she grabs his arm grabbing him by the arm. “But Eren, you only just got here. You can’t leave now.”

“I’ll come back some other time,” He attempts to free his arm from her vice grip.

Levi watches them in amusement from his seat, before deciding to impose.

“Hange let the poor guy go,” He lifts himself up from the chair, grabbing his book as he stands up. He walks over to them in three strides, standing shorter than both of them as they all stand up straight. He grabs Hange’s hand so she removes it from Eren’s arm. “He came to see me, not to be harassed by you lot.”

He grips Hange’s hand tighter, before flinging it away from Eren’s arm as if it was some leech that disgusts him. Hange remains unfazed as she smirks at them.

Levi ignores Eren’s wide eyed gaze and shoves him out of the room towards the staircase. Eren stumbles in front of him, turning around multiple times to speak onto to be met with Levi’s hard glare, forcing him turn around again.

They make it up to Levi’s room quickly, and Eren once again finds himself sitting at the small table in Levi’s dorm, with Levi nowhere to be found. Eren looks around the room, tapping his finger against the wooden table anxiously. What does he have to feel anxious about? He’s been to Levi’s dorm room enough times before to feel at ease, he’s slept on his floor and in his bed for god’s sake.

He’s not sure what Levi is doing, but he hopes he’ll come back sometime soon. His wish is granted when Levi walks into his small kitchen. He pulls the other chair out from the table and sits himself down on it; looking at Eren with curiously.

“So what does bring you here?” He asks, leaning an elbow on the table. “Or was it actually just to see me?”

Eren nods his head slowly, not trusting his voice not to betray him. He looks Levi over from where he sits right in front of him; their knees so close if he were to shift forward an inch they would brush against each other. Levi wears a pair of black sweatpants and a tight black shirt that fits almost too perfectly against his body, coupled with the same glasses he had on earlier. It’s almost too much for Eren.

“I want,” Eren trails off as his eyes scan over Levi’s figure.

“What do you want?” Eren could have imagined it but he’s sure he heard Levi’s voice drop an octave lower.

It takes every fibre in his body to keep himself in his seat as Levi practically puts himself on display right in front of his eyes. He sees Levi’s mouth moving as he continues talking, but the sound no longer reaches his ears.

Levi eyes the brunette in front of him with a hard glare; it’s obvious that Eren is not listening to a word he’s saying, his eyes are glazed, unfocused. Levi runs a hand through his hair, causing messy strands to fall over his forehead. He snaps his fingers in front of Eren’s face.

“Oi! Are you even listening to me, you idiot?”

Eren’s eyes snap up to meet Levi’s, hair all tousled and falling freely over his eyes, glasses pushed up high on his nose. Eren can’t stand it. He vaguely hears himself growl, “I want”, before he’s pounced onto Levi, almost making the chair fall back with both of them on it.

Levi’s hands grab Eren’s hips tightly to steady him as the chair rocks back before all four legs come to rest securely against the floor once again. Levi’s eyes open only slightly at Eren’s forwardness; he doesn’t want him to know just how surprised he is. Eren wastes no time grabbing the back of Levi’s head and smashing their lips together.

Levi’s reaction isn’t immediate as his eyes widen into large orbs as Eren’s mouth presses forcibly against his own. He had not been expecting this to happen when he first saw Eren enter the common room behind Hange, but he’s glad that he did. The only thought in his head is of hoping that Eren doesn’t decide to stop at the last possible second again. He closes his eyes as his grip tightens on Eren’s waist, pulling him closer against him. Eren’s body moves with no resistance, melting against Levi. He boldly grinds his hips down against causing them both to let out strangled groans from the friction. Levi grabs him by the hair, pulling his head to the side, as his teeth nip against his neck. Eren lets out a loud moan, angling his head further away as Levi licks a strip up his neck.

Their position changes as Levi’s grip loosens on Eren’s hips, allowing the younger boy to detach himself and yank Levi forcibly out of his chair. Levi gets the drift and begins to pull Eren towards his bedroom. Once in the corridor leading to Levi’s room, Eren has other plans. He grabs Levi by the wrist suddenly, pinning him against the wall with his body. Levi lets out a grunt as his back connects with the wall harshly, staring up at Eren with a challenge flashing in his eyes. Eren connects their lips again, both his hands move down to Levi’s slim waist and he easily lifts the man up, forcing him to wrap his legs around his waist for support. Eren grins himself against him, he smirks as Levi disconnects their lips in order to let out a moan. Eren takes the opportunity to run his teeth along Levi’s neck, as the older man had done before to him. He wants to watch Levi come undone in his hands.

The weight of Levi pressed against him begins to become heavier as Eren struggles to keep them both up. He quickly places his hands under Levi’s ass, griping tightly for good measure, causing the man to grind down against him, as he carries him into his bedroom. Eren wastes no time from when he puts Levi down on the bed, to when he’s scrambling to get on top of him. Levi allows the younger man to do as he pleases for a short while, running his hands under Levi’s shirt before taking it off completely. Levi allows Eren to undo the string on his sweatpants before moving down his legs to remove them, leaving the elder in just his underwear. As Eren moves back up Levi’s mostly naked body, is when he chooses to swap their positions. Levi moves so Eren becomes pinned underneath him, his eyes wide in surprise.

Levi looms over him, his head in line with the crotch of Eren’s jeans, not doing a very good job at concealing his growing bulge. Levi looks down as if he’s only noticing Eren’s particular situation for the first time. He smirks, a dark glint flashes through his eyes before he’s undoing the button on Eren’s pants and slowly trailing the fly down with his teeth. Eren stares down at him, his eyes hazy with lust; he wiggles his hips in an attempt to help Levi remove his pants faster. Levi smirks again placing his hands against Eren’s hips to keep them down, causing the younger man to release a groan of frustration. Levi moves down his body, taking Eren’s tight jeans with him and flings them behind him. He makes his way up Eren’s body again slowly, taking his time as the taller man writhes beneath him. He’s amazed at how worked up Eren is despite Levi not actually touching him. He purposely avoids the bulge in Eren’s pants, instead moving himself to straddle his waist.

He runs his hands up his torso taking the sweater along with him. He bunches it up at Eren’s neck instead of removing it completely, he’ll need it later. He leans down towards Eren’s stomach, surprised at how toned the man is despite never actually seeing him do any physical exercise. He runs his tongue along the grooves of his stomach, blowing over it afterwards, causing pleasurable shudders to run through Eren’s body. Levi lets out a low chuckle at how easily the body beneath him reacts to his touch. Getting bored with his ministrations, Levi grabs the sweater from around Eren’s neck and brings it over the man’s eyes, he ties it loosely so he can still breathe, and chuckles again as a small whine sounds from underneath the fabric. Eren tries to remove the shirt from his eyes, but Levi’s quick hands stop him. He continues to struggle against his confides until he realises Levi has stopped touching him all together.

“Levi, please,” He whines, stilling himself in the hopes that Levi will continue.

“Then stop struggling,” Levi answers through another chuckle.

Levi slowly releases Eren’s hands only to hook his own into the waistband of Eren’s underwear. He slowly pulls them down, finally releasing him from his last restraint. Levi immediately wraps a hand around him, beginning to move it up and down in a lazy stroke. Eren lets out a moan as Levi’s hand touches him for the first time. He tries to thrust his hips up, but Levi stops them easily with his other hand.

“Patience, Eren Yeager,” His voice carries out into the dark room.

Eren mumbles something that Levi can’t understand through the cloth. He suddenly removes his hand completely before moving lower on Eren. Eren is about to let out another impatient groan when he’s engulfed by the warmth of Levi’s mouth wrapping around him. The irritated words hanging on his tongue come out as strangled moans as he thrusts up into Levi’s mouth, causing him to gag slightly as he pushes his hand back down on Eren’s hips to still him. Eren tries desperately to place his hands on Levi but the elder grabs his hands to stop him, continuing to move his mouth up and down.

For an instant Eren is thankful for the fabric covering his face, he’d be so embarrassed if Levi were to see the faces he’s pulling right now, he’s pretty sure he’s drooling. But that thought soon passes as he realises that if Levi can’t see him than he can’t see Levi, and he wants to see Levi. He tries to lift his hands again only to find them still being tightly restrained by Levi.

“Levi, Pl-. Ah-. Please let me see you,” He cries out, as Levi continues his movements.

Levi continues for another moment before Eren feels his mouth leave him the same time the sweater is removed from his face. He blinks his eyes open, only to see darkness. As his eyes adjust to the dark he begins to see the silhouette of Levi kneeling on him. Levi looks into Eren’s eyes, his grey eyes flashing in the darkness. He wordlessly moves himself up further on Eren’s body, lifting his chin, which he didn’t realise has been gaping open and places his lips on his. Levi starts the kiss slowly, until Eren can feel the older man biting at his lip, he opens his mouth to allow Levi to deepen the kiss. Eren can taste the bitterness of himself on Levi’s tongue, and where he thought he would be disgusted, he feels himself becoming even more turned on. He wraps his hands around Levi’s back flipping their positions once again, Levi’s eyes widen slightly as his back hits the mattress. He stares up at the brunette to see what he will do next. Eren quickly dips his hands under the waistband of Levi’s underwear, pulling it down and off his legs, before flinging it somewhere into the dark room behind him.

He grasps Levi, who lets out a shocked gasp as the sudden contact. Eren runs his thumb along the tip before evening out into long slow strokes. Levi allows him to take control for a while, quite content by just looking up at the more inexperienced man above him. After a while Levi grows tired and requires a change. He pulls Eren down close to him as if to connect their lips one more time and instead rolls them to the side so he is once again on top. He never was the submissive type.

Eren stares at him, a grin plastered on his face. Levi grabs hold of his legs, moving them to each side so he can slip in between them. As his eyes drift to his bedside table he remembers that he’s out of lube and silently curses himself for not being prepared. He settles instead for the next best thing and runs his hand up Eren’s torso before reaching his mouth.

“Open and suck,” He instructs in a low tone, his eyes clouded by lust.

Eren does as he is told, immediately opening his mouth and allowing Levi to stick his fingers in. He’s not entirely sure if what he’s doing is right, having never done it this way before, but he figures as long as he coats Levi in enough of his saliva, then he’s doing just fine.

Levi lets out a low moan as Eren nips the tips of his fingers, before he’s drawing his hand back. He shifts their position slightly so he’s situated better between Eren’s legs. He places one finger against Eren, the man beneath him shuddering as he runs his slicked finger around him. Levi pulls back slightly, teasingly, causing Eren to whine as he wiggles himself to get closer to the retreating touch. Levi ceases any contact between his fingers and Eren, forcing the younger man to yell out, ‘just put something in me already,’ followed by one finger being pushed slowly into him. He instinctively tries to get away from the intrusion, not used to it after not doing this for so long. Levi holds him close waiting for him to settle against the finger before curling it upwards.

Once he’s satisfied with Eren’s reactions, he adds another finger and moves them together. Eren lets out a string of moans as he moves his hips with the rhythm of the two fingers, Levi takes the opportunity to add a third finger and begins moving and stretching him slowly. As soon as he’s driven Eren to a moaning mess beneath him, he pulls his fingers out, reaches over to the bedside table and grabs a condom from the second drawer. He rocks back onto his heels, rips the packet open and rolls it down onto himself, Eren’s eyes fixed on his motions. He moves him into a position that he deems comfortable enough, Eren’s legs now hooked around his back. He lines himself up, bringing Eren onto him and pushes in slowly. He watches Eren’s eyes, looking for any indication that the brunette might be uncomfortable, but all he gets is an impatient sigh before Eren tightens his legs around his back and pulls him fully inside. Both let out a sigh as Levi waits a moment for Eren to adjust, not that he needed it from the way he acted, before removing himself completely and thrusting back in.

It takes a moment for Levi to set up a steady pace as Eren’s hips move in time with his own. As the force of Levi’s thrust increase, the hold Eren’s legs have around him tightens. He lets out a ragged breath as Eren’s nails claw down his back, knowing they’ve probably left raised red lines that will be tender tomorrow. If it had been with anybody else Levi would have made a big deal, but in this moment with Eren, he can’t make himself care enough to scold the guy. He thrusts back roughly in response causing a strangled moan to be ripped from the brunette’s throat. He leans down so Eren is squished between the hardness of his body and the mattress, and sucks at his neck, finding it too pristine for his liking. Eren tries to wrap his arms around Levi’s neck to hold him there, but the elder man has other plans. He leans away from Eren again and slows his thrusts. Eren whines at the pace, annoyed by Levis teasing actions he moves his hand to grip his own dick, only thinking about his oncoming release. Just as the tips of his fingers brush over the head his hand is slapped away. He whines again, cursing himself for sounding so needy, but god does he need more. Noticing Eren’s clear distress, Levi wraps his own hand around the hardness resting against the younger’s stomach and stokes it up and down in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. He’ll make sure to tease Eren into a moaning, drooling mess some other time; they don’t have the time now as he feels his own release fast approaching.

He increases his thrusts and hand movements in an effort to get Eren off before himself. The brunette beneath him lets out a strangled string of moans and without warming cums all over his stomach and Levi’s hand. The elder grimaces slightly at the sticky substance before he too is being pushed over the edge by Eren tightening around him. He gives one final hard thrust before be releases himself into the condom. He rides himself through it, loving the way Eren feels around him, as the brunette lies utterly spent beneath him. After a final thrust Levi pulls out, removes the condom and ties the end before getting off the bed and placing it in the bin. He walks into his small bathroom, and quickly cleans himself off before grabbing a washcloth and taking it out to Eren, who’s still lying in the same position that Levi had left him. His eyes are closed as a small smile plays across his lips; Levi wonders if he’s asleep before one deep teal eye is staring up at him.

He chucks the damp washcloth towards him; it lands with a loud smack against Eren’s stomach. “Here, clean yourself up.”

He sits up carefully and grabs the washcloth and begins to wipe his own cum off of his stomach. “Thanks.”

He watches Levi move over to his dresser as he grabs a pair of short pyjama bottoms and pulls them on.  Eren looks around himself for his own clothes now feeling utterly exposed. Levi walks to the end his bed and grabs the pair of pants chucking them at Eren without a word. Eren tugs them on wordlessly, feeling as if the mood is completely ruined by Levi’s attitude.

“So do you treat everyone like this after, or should I feel special?” His tone bitter.

Levi raises one perfect eyebrow at him as he moves towards the bed again, “Everyone, huh? That’s quite a judgement you’re making.”

Eren looks at the man now sitting across from him on the bed, “You know that’s not what I mean.”

Levi ignores the annoyance in Eren’s tone, instead looking down at the younger man’s body, “Why did you put your jeans back on?”

“What?”

Levi gestures to the tight restricting pants, “Your jeans, won’t they be uncomfortable to sleep in?”

Eren glances down at himself, confused, “I thought you were kicking me out?”

Levi doesn’t say anything as he climbs over to the side of the bed closest to the wall. He pulls the thick duvet over himself, now feeling the chill that has settled into his room.

“Are you telling me to stay?” If Levi could just give him some confirmation.

“Do you need me to spell it out for you?”

Eren is out of his jeans and under the covers quicker than he thought possible. Levi looks at him unamused by his enthusiasm, before he turns himself over to face the wall away from Eren.

Eren remains on his back for a while longer, staring up at the dark ceiling still unable to believe what took place only moments before. His eyes drift over to the back of Levi’s head, his dark hair splayed over the pillow, his shoulders moving slowly as his breathing deepens and evens out as he falls asleep. He has the urge to wrap his arms around his naked torso, but he knows if Levi woke up he would kick him out for sure. He goes with the safer option, and turns onto his side facing away from Levi and does his best to sleep.


	15. Revenge?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren takes things too far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is still enjoying this (:  
> please leave a kudos of comment, everything is appreciated.

An annoying sound blares from somewhere in the room. Eren’s eyes open a crack, as the sound rattles through his skull. He takes in his surroundings in an attempt to pinpoint the location of the noise. His eyes fall onto his jeans lying in a crumpled heap on the floor next to the bed. He doesn’t react straight away, his head instead falling back against the pillows as an annoyed huff escaping his lips. He’d forgotten to turn his alarm off.

“If you don’t turn that off right now, I’ll make sure it never turns on again,” Levi’s deep morning voice growls from beside him.

Eren scrambles quickly to grab his phone from his jean pocket and turn off the alarm. He knows full well that that was not an empty threat. He looks back over to Levi who’s hair is a messy tuff obscuring most of his eyes, but he can still feel those hard eyes staring a hole through his head.

“Do you have somewhere to be?”

“No, I just forgot to turn it off last night.”

Levi sits up slowly, the movement pushing the covers down as he stretches. Eren can’t keep his eyes from trailing down his pale torso as it’s put on display just for him. Grey eyes watch him closely as Levi smirks.

“See something you like?”

Eren unconsciously licks his lips. “Many things.”

Levi chuckles as he moves to straddle him, his hands resting on his chest. Eren stares up at him with his large teal eyes that constantly make Levi’s stomach clench; he shifts his gaze as he leans down running his tongue along the curves of Eren’s stomach. He moves lower feeling that gaze on him the whole time, Eren wiggles his hips slightly, urging Levi to hurry up, which only causes him to go slower. He lets out an impatient whine, which satisfies Levi, leading him to move his hand down and palm Eren through the thin boxers he’d kept on last night. His reaction is immediate, causing Levi to smirk at how his body reacts to even the slightest touches. He changes the pressure of his hand, rubbing harder as he feels the man beneath him harden.

“You’re always ready to go, aren’t you?” Levi purrs.

Eren lets out a strangled moan as he pushes himself harder against Levi’s hand.

Levi looks up expecting to see teal eyes clouded with lust already staring at him, though even as Eren lets out a string of moans his eyes remain focused on his phone sat on the bedside table. Levi slows his hand before stopping altogether and removes it from Eren’s body; no longer in the mood after finding Eren’s attention not focused solely on him.

Eren’s eyes meet his quickly noticing the pressure on his crotch has faded.

“Why’d you stop?” He asks, as if he doesn’t already know the answer.

“I don’t like to share things,” Levi replies vaguely, shrugging his shoulders as he shifts back.

“Share? What?” Eren asks, confused.

Levi’s gestures to phone next to them, “You’re obviously occupied by other things.”

Eren eyes move slowly to where Levi is pointing, “No, I just thought I would have heard from someone by now.”

Levi raises an eyebrow in question.

Eren huffs, running a hand through his hair not sure of how much he should say. “I was hoping I’d hear from Mikasa.”

“Mikasa? You were thinking out my cousin just now?” He asks as if he couldn’t believe it.

Eren sits up quickly, causing Levi to move closer onto his lap as he leans against the headboard. “I wasn’t thinking about her. Some things happened yesterday, and I just wanted to know if she was alright.”

Levi’s eyes soften at his words, glad to see someone showing such concern for his cousin, though he would never admit it. “Is it anything worth sharing? Coming from a concerned family member of course.”

Eren scratches the back of his neck, trying to buy some time to figure out how much he should tell him. Levi continues to stare as he tries to get his thoughts straight.

“I’m not going to tell anyone.”

He looks back into those steel grey eyes and sighs, he doubts Levi is really one for gossip.

He proceeds to tell Levi about being roped into cooking, his suspicions of Jean since the failed double date, Marco’s reaction, right up until he decided to come see him. Levi stares at him the whole time he talks, his eyes never once giving away what he’s thinking. Once Eren finishes they sit in silence for a long moment, before Eren begins to feel uncomfortable, still very much aware of Levi straddling his lap. The conversation doing nothing to lower is libido. 

 “Why didn’t you invite me to your dinner?” Levi asks suddenly.

Eren’s eyes widen slightly at the question that was not at all what he had been expecting Levi to focus on. “I didn’t think you would want to come.” He answers, slowly.

The softness in Levi’s eyes disappears. “Well you would have known if you had bothered to ask me, wouldn’t you?” He says tone taking on a hard edge.

Where the hell was this coming from? “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think,” He’s not looking to make the guy mad.

“Do you not want me around your friends or something?” Levi asks bluntly as he pushes himself off Eren’s lap.

What the hell is his problem?

“What? Levi, no. That’s not it,” He says, sitting further up against the headboard, looking right into his eyes.

“Then what is it?” He snaps.

Why would Levi, cold, distant, too good for anyone else’s time be interested in hanging out with his friends? It just doesn’t make any sense.

“What, do you want to hang around them?”

How did it go from Eren almost getting off by Levi’s hand, to Levi suddenly snapping at him for not inviting him to something that Eren was sure he would have written off anyway? Eren’s constantly trying to keep on his toes around him, but even then he still finds himself stumbling.

“Not really,” Levi answers, not blinking.

“Then what’s the problem?” Frustration creeps into his tone, and he doesn’t care, he wants Levi to know that he’s being unfair.

“That’s what I’m asking you.”

Eren lets out a harsh sigh, they’re not getting anywhere. “Look I don’t want to feel like I should have to parade you around in front of them.”

“Parade me? Like a dog?” Anger flashes through his grey eyes.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” He answers, backtracking quickly. “I don’t want to have to share you, especially because I don’t even know what this is.”

“What this is? Are we supposed to be something?” Levi looks genuinely confused as he sits back on his heels.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Don’t tell me that this hasn’t meant anything.” He’s astonished by Levi’s indifferent attitude, and he’s sure that he’s  been coming across crystal clear.

“It’s not like we’re dating.”

Eren looks down at his hands as he twists them awkwardly in his lap, “I know that.”

 “I mean we’re just having fun, right?” Levi leans forward to search Eren’s eyes, his own filled with a worry that Eren can’t quite place.

“If we’re just having fun, then why are you angry that I didn’t invite you?”

Levi looks away as he answers. “I’m not angry. I just thought after all those times you wouldn’t leave me alone, you might want me everywhere you are. You know like a stalker.”

Eren can’t believe how much of a dick Levi can actually be, though perhaps he’s the idiot for still being surprised by it. He gets up suddenly, causing Levi to fall onto the bed as he does and pulls his clothes back on.

“Where are you going?”

Eren looks back at him sitting comfortably on the bed not at all phased by his actions.

“I’m obviously leaving.”

“Okay,” He says, before flopping himself back down onto his large bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“You know you can be real nice when you want to be, but honestly I don’t need this shit.”

He walks out of the bedroom before Levi has a chance to speak; he has no interest in hearing what he has to stay. He storms straight out of the dorm, thankful that no one is loitering in the corridors before he makes his way down the stairs and out the door. He only slows his pace as he feels the cool breeze brush against his cheeks, allowing the fresh air to clear his head.

~~.~~

“What you need is a good slice of revenge,” Armin’s slightly sadistic voice drifts from his bed.

“Revenge for what? He didn’t do anything to me, not really,” He replies, as he tries to sort the mess that used to be called his desk.

Armin raises an eyebrow questionably; only sighing after realising Eren can’t even see it. “But it can’t hurt right. I mean remember what he did after seeing us in the library. If you really want to get his attention, I’d go with that.”

Eren whips around quickly, knocking over his perfectly neat pile of books. “I don’t want to get his attention that way. Doing that will only lead us right back to where we are now.” He sits down near Armin’s feet. “He said we’re just having fun, but I don’t want to just have fun, I want him. I want all of him, not just his body.”

Armin looks at him for a moment before falling back against the pillows. “I still think that revenge is the best way. Levi needs someone to put him in his place.”

“What did he ever do to you?” Eren inquires.

“To me? Nothing personally to me, he’s just arrogant,” He shrugs as if that were reason enough.

It’s not. But Eren feels it’s best to drop the subject before Armin begins pressuring him into it. Armin obviously thinks the same.

“So are you coming with us tonight?”

“After the last few times I’m not sure if I should really be around alcohol,” Eren answers, not in the mood to drink even a drop of the poisonous liquid.

“Oh you’re not that bad, honestly. You don’t even need to drink, you can dance,” Armin’s blue eyes sparkle with hope.

“Me dancing is something that no one needs to see.”

He gets up off the bed and begins to walk over to his suitcase that somehow after the two months he’s been here, still remains sitting against the wall at the end of his bed, the contents spilling out into a dirty mess on the floor. He sighs, telling himself once again that he’ll organise it, as he digs through the pile for something that might be presentable enough to wear to a club. Armin switches positions so he’s lying on his stomach, his head peering over the edge of the bed to see what Eren is doing.

“You’re still not unpacked?”

“There hasn’t been any time,” Eren answers, knowing that it’s a lie.

Armin scoffs at that, knowing all the downtime they’ve all had. He watches as Eren picks through the contents, and sighs knowing that he’s never going to be able to find a single article of clothing that isn’t wrinkled and smelling like dirty socks. Eren eventually picks up a button down black shirt that Armin physically cringes at the sight of. He turns to the blonde with a hopeful smile on his face.

He shakes his head slowly, looking at Eren as if he’s crazy, “There’s no way in hell you’ll be wearing that.”

Eren smile fades as he glances back at the shirt in his hand, “What’s wrong with it?”

Armin raises an eyebrow, “You really need to ask that?”

The confused look on Eren’s face forces another sigh to fall from Armin’s mouth. He gets up instructing Eren to do the same and grabs the shirt out of the brunette’s hand throwing it back onto the pile.

“We’re going shopping,” Armin states, his tone giving no room for Eren to argue.

Eren reluctantly grabs his wallet and phone from his desk and follows Armin wordlessly out of the room; he knows there is no way of getting out of this.

~~.~~

Three hours later Eren finds himself back in his dorm room surrounded by at least six paper bags all filled to the brim with new clothing that Armin had oh so generously picked out for him. He was sure that the huge pile of clothing currently littering his floor would have told Armin that he already had plenty, if not too many clothes, but that didn’t seem to diffuse Armin’s enthusiasm. 

He only needed one outfit, just one pair of pants and maybe a nice shirt that didn’t smell of old socks and weird dampness. Not that he’s not thankful for the help in picking out a new wardrobe, some of his clothing was wearing pretty thin, but the dent it made in his wallet was nothing to smile about. Sure he’s never had to worry about money before, with his dad being a successful neurosurgeon and all, but Eren was never one to spend so lavishly as he did today, it wasn’t necessary.

He reluctantly lifts himself from his bed to stare at the bags, heaving a sigh he grabs the first one and tips its contents out onto the sheets. He stares over the clothing, not remembering buying or even trying on half of it. He grabs each piece folding them carefully before placing them into his half empty draws, he knows if Armin comes back in to find everything crammed untidily away he would never hear the end of it. He does the same with the other five bags having picked out an outfit for the night, a dark red shirt and grey jeans oddly similar to the ones he already owns, and falls exhausted onto his bed.

He lies there for no longer than ten minutes before he’s pulling himself up right, shuffling towards the pile of clothes at the end of his bed. He looks at it wearingly, not sure what he’ll find living underneath, before he’s picking through it shoving as much into his arms as he can and proceeds to carry it out of his room to the laundry. He may as well do something with the little bit of afternoon he has left. He manages to get everything there in two trips before he’s lying on his bed once again, his face buried in his pillow, that didn’t take as long as he’d expected it to. He turns his head facing his desk and the clutter that remains on it; he wouldn’t even know where to start looking for his school books in that mess. He sighs knowing that he should clean that off to, but he can’t seem to find the motivation to lift himself off of his bed again. Instead he settles for turning over onto his back and staring up at the white ceiling, he can just see the fait outlines of the glow in the dark stars he’d put up there the first night he arrived. To others it might seem like a childish thing to do, but his stars had always had a way of calming his mind and he needed that today.

His mind starts to drift to what he was desperately trying to occupy it from.

Not that Eren was ever far away from thinking about the raven haired man with the bored expression, but today it was especially painful to think of him at all. He doesn’t understand what happened, how could things change so quickly, and how did he allow it? He knows that he’s never had experience dealing with anybody like Levi, but somehow it was so much harder than he could have ever imagined. He finds himself thinking that maybe it’s already over; perhaps whatever they had going on between them was done. Perhaps it was never anything at all. Levi said they were only having fun, so why does he feel as though he should have appreciated it more?

Armin’s words push their way into Eren’s head, filling him with something other than frustration.

_“What you need is a good slice of revenge.”_

Does he have the right to want to get revenge for what Levi did? Did Levi honestly do anything worth getting revenge for? The short answer is no, of course he didn’t, he was being honest and Eren was too caught up to see everything for what it was. But he doesn’t want to admit that, not to anyone, especially not the man himself. Perhaps revenge isn’t the best word, he just wants a bit of payback, wants Levi to sweat a bit when he realises that he might lose him. But is Eren the kind of person that is able to do that to someone? He’s like to say no, to push the idea aside and never think of it again, but he doesn’t think that he’s capable of doing that.

The more he thinks on it the more he leans towards Armin’s suggestion. Perhaps doing it will finally make Levi see him as an equal, someone who is actually worthy of his time. He doesn’t like the fact that he can be so easily brushed aside, and maybe that’s what angered him the most about this morning’s events. That Levi let him go. He just let him walk out of his dorm without so much as a goodbye. Of course in that moment Eren got out of there so fast that he had no intention, no desire to listen to a thing that Levi felt the need to say, he can’t help but wish that Levi had actually tried.

But how would he do it anyway? It’s not like he wants to completely crush Levi, though of course he’s not sure if he can do anything that would have that kind of effect on the man. A brush off, anger maybe, but there is no way that Eren could actually upset him to the point that things would be ruined. Levi doesn’t feel for him that much, they’re just having a bit of fun. They’re just using each other as a way to distract themselves from their studies, of course Eren had invested a little bit more than that into them, but if that’s what Levi said then that’s what goes. And that thought makes Eren’s blood boil.

His eyes begin to drift shut as he conjures up all the possibilities of ways to make Levi jealous, he has a fleeting thought that perhaps he should just get Armin to do it again, just like back in the library. But Levi could see through that charade from the get go, so he brushes the thought quickly to the side. He comes up with others, but by then a haze is beginning to fog his mind and then everything is black as he drifts off to sleep.

~~.~~

“Eren, you ready yet?”

A loud voice breaks into his dream. He can’t remember exactly what he’d been dreaming about, the edges are fraying as he tries to hold onto them, but he knows he has to. If he doesn’t hold onto them then he’ll lose the one thing he wants most.

A hand is on his shoulder shakes him to full consciousness.

“I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping,” Armin’s voice carries to his ears filled with annoyance.

He sits up, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed as he stares up at his friend. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” He rubs the sleep from his eyes. “What time are we going?”

Armin makes a show of looking down at his watch, “Like ten minutes.”

Eren’s eyes widen as he scrambles off the bed, thankful that he’s already picked his outfit out earlier. He strips himself of his pants and shirt momentarily forgetting that Armin is still in the room. The blonde clears his throat as he stares at Eren’s naked torso, he can feel a heat spreading over his cheeks.

“A-Ah, did you want me to leave?” He stutters out, not taking his eyes away.

Eren stares up at him surprised, and then glances down at himself understanding the reason for Armin’s sudden flustered state. “No, no it’s fine sorry. Give me a sec.” He gets into his clothes as quickly as he can as Armin reluctantly looks the other way.

“Alright, done.”

Armin turns his gaze back to him slightly disappointed that his friend is now fully clothed. He wouldn’t mind seeing more of that sometime. He shakes his head quickly, dispelling the thoughts from his head, Eren is interested in Levi, and it’s up to Armin to come up with a plan to get them together. Eren and he are friends, nothing more. He shakes his head one more time, plastering a smile on his face.

“Alright, let’s go then.”

They make it down the corridor before he speaks again.

“So did you have a plan for tonight? Or you just going to wing it?”

Eren thinks for a moment, not happy to be back on the topic of him, but knowing there is no way around it.

“Ah not really,” His voice comes out as nothing more than a breath.

He’s not sure why he’s suddenly embarrassed about the whole thing, especially around Armin. But he can’t help but feel that as much as he wants to get back at Levi for being so indifferent, he feels stupid for doing it.

“Hm, well okay. I’ll think on it for you,” he turns his head around to give me a cheeky grin. “Hopefully we can find a willing participant.”

Eren mutters a small yes, as he looks into the excited blue eyes of his friend. Get someone drunk enough and they’ll pretty much be willing to do anything.

~~.~~

The club is packed and smells like sweat.

Eren eases his way through the crowd after Armin, whose hold on his hand continuously tugs him forward. Bodies push against him, grinding into his sides as he did everything he possibly could in the small space to keep them off of him. He doesn’t want to be here, and the fact that these people in their drunken haze think it’s okay to grind themselves against him only pisses him off. It doesn’t help that at some point in the last minute he lost contact with Armin’s hand, and he has no idea where the blonde has gone.

He finally makes it out of the crowd to see Armin’s smiling face waiting for him by the bar. He lets out a low sigh and walks forward, slumping himself down onto one of the vacant stools. He leans forward, wanting to rest his arms on something, but pulls back quickly letting his hands fall into his lap instead, when he sees the sticky substance giving the bar top a shiny gleam.

“What do you want?” Armin’s elbow connects with his arm, forcing him to look up.

He shrugs, not in the mood to drink anything at all. “Whatever is fine.”

Armin turns back to the bartender he’d called over and orders two drinks that Eren doesn’t recognise the name of. He turns back with the drinks and hands one to Eren, they both stare out into the crowd of bodies in silence.

“So anyone grab your attention?” He asks slyly, scanning the male faces.

Eren looks through the faces in the crowd, all flushed and covered with a light sheen of sweat, none look all that appealing.

Not in his current sober state at least.

“No.”

Armin’s eyebrows knit together, not understanding his friend’s attitude. “Well here,” he says, shoving his own drink into Eren’s hand, the brunette looks at the glass in confusion. “You need it more than me; I’ll go grab some more.”

He watches as Armin turns towards the bar again ordering them god knows what. Eren stares down at the two glasses in his hands, thinking for a second that this is an extremely bad idea, but quickly pushes the thought to the side, because hey he’s in university and he’s pissed off.

He lifts the glasses to his mouth one at a time chugging them both back, he hardly even notices the burn in his throat as the liquid slides down almost too easily. Armin returns then and looks at the empty glasses in Eren’s hands, before he grins and hands him two shots.

This is a really bad idea.

 

He finds himself among the sweaty dancers packed in the open area below the DJ.

He can feel someone plastered against his back, he immediately becomes aware that it is a man, a very tall man, as a semi hard bulge grinds against his back. He looks over at Armin, who’s too caught up in his own dance with some stranger to notice anything he’s doing, and feels two large hands slipping from his shoulders down to his chest. He leans back into the touch, his drunken brain telling him that it’s the best thing to do as the strangers hot breathe fans across his cheek. An involuntary moan escapes his throat as a hot tongue licks a strip up the side of his neck. Sloppy drunken kisses cover the expanse of his neck as the stranger’s hand moves lower, cupping Eren’s dick in his large palm and squeezing gently. A low moan sounds in his throat as he pushes himself harder against the hand, wanting everything he can get.

At this moment he’s not even thinking about Levi or getting his revenge, all he’s thinking about is this guy’s hand on his dick and the wet mouth sucking against his neck. And he wants more. The man’s hand continues to grope him as they move together to the beat of the song pumping through their ears. The man uses his other hand to bring him tighter against his body, allowing Eren to grind his ass hard onto the guy’s crotch.

He begins to turn, his own curiosity getting the best of him as he stands chest to chest with the stranger. All hands stop their roaming as Eren stares down at their feet, not ready to look up.

_Please be good looking._

_Please be good looking._

Plays like a mantra in his head as he lifts his gaze from the floor into the familiar blue eyes of Erwin Smith. Eren lets out a sigh of relief as he stares into those blue depths, Erwin is good looking after all, before his eyes widen as realisation hits him.

“Erwin?” His voice is loud and strained, his brain no longer accepting the identity of the man pressed firmly against him.

“I’m surprised to see you’re not with Levi tonight,” Erwin’s deep voice sounds from above.

“We’re not together,” It pains him to speak the words; he cringes back from them as if they physically scorched him.

Erwin stares down at him for a moment, the words taking longer to make sense to him in his drunken haze. And then he grins, his eyes flicking to the side quickly, Eren notices something change within them but he doesn’t get a chance to voice his concerns before it’s gone. And then Erwin’s staring right into his large teal eyes as he places a hand on Eren’s chin and leans down. “Well in that case.”

Eren’s eyes open wide as Erwin’s lips connect with his, the older man’s lips are dry and he’s not sure if he’s enjoying the feeling. Erwin pushes harder against Eren urging him to kiss back. And though Eren knows he shouldn’t, knows that he shouldn’t be kissing anyone but Levi, but he’s hurt and drunk and the two have never mixed well for him, so he finds himself kissing back. He presses his mouth hard against Erwin’s, opening his mouth as a wet tongue slides along his bottom lip, allowing Erwin to taste him. It’s rushed and sloppy and involves a little more tongue than Eren would like but he doesn’t care. He puts everything he’s been feeling since even before this morning into that kiss. All of his frustrations with Levi, school, Jean and himself, everything went in, and he wasn’t sure he could stop.

This is his chance, his chance at revenge. He must have someone looking over him to allow Erwin to fall so perfectly into his lap, so to speak. He can’t believe that one of Levi’s closest friends had initiated this and Eren didn’t even have to lift a finger. He’s getting exactly what he wants, Levi will be so consumed with jealousy that he will get down on his knees and beg Eren to take him back. Yes he likes that thought. He can’t help but grin against Erwin’s mouth, pulling him impossibly closer.

He wraps his arms around Erwin’s neck, as he grinds himself against him. The blonde reacts immediately, running his hands down Eren’s back over his ass giving it a firm squeeze. They both let out moans simultaneously as their erections push against the others body through their clothes. Eren nips at Erwin’s bottom lip experimentally, when he gets no reaction from the elder he bites down harder, smiling into the kiss as a groan sounds low in Erwin’s throat. Their breathing becomes more ragged as hands do things that should not be done on a public dancefloor. Eren pulls back from Erwin suddenly; he has no intention of allowing this to go further with him.

He looks up at Erwin, who’s got a shit eating grin plastered across his face. Eren would have thought that he was smiling due to the kiss but the taller man was staring just over his shoulder towards the nightclub entry. He turns around, his eyes following Erwin’s, before they meet a pair of wide grey orbs he’s come to know so well, as Levi stands in the door way. Something flashes through them, pain perhaps, but it’s gone almost as quickly as it came. Eren stands rooted to the spot, Erwin’s arms still wrapped securely around his body. He wants to push him away, now knowing that he knew Levi was there, he knew he was there all along and yet he still did it.

How could Eren do this? How did he ever think that this was a good idea? Levi’s eyes remain fixed on his, unblinking. Eren thinks for a moment about the pain he saw in them only a moment ago, how that one emotion changed Levi’s whole face into that of a vulnerable child, a look that he thought he would never see on the man’s face. He’s always wondered how Levi would look without his trademark smirk and hard glint in his eye, but now that he’s seen it, he no longer wants it. He immediately hates himself for being the one to put it there.

He’d been so arrogant, thinking about only himself and his pain, not giving even a thought to how Levi might actually have been feeling. And god Eren just had to put the fucking cherry on top and sprinkle it with sickeningly sweet sugar by getting his revenge with Levi’s best friend.

Of course Levi has feelings; he’s only fucking human after all.


	16. Blame?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren shouts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Wednesday updates!
> 
> I hope none of you are too angry at me for the last chapter, just when we thought these two idiots were getting somewhere too.. 
> 
> This chapter is pretty much just a heap of dialogue, but I hope you guys don't mind that. They need to just sit and talk after all. 
> 
> And just a heads up, next week I will not be posting Chapter Sixteen. Instead I will be posting a special chapter. (If I ever get it completed, so it might be a little later than Thursday next week, but I will try to get it done on time) In no way will this extra chapter advance the plot. When I was discussing the plot of this story with my friend it was just a thought that I had about how the story would end after Chapter Fourteen. In the end I decided to go a different direction, but I thought it might be fun if I write it out as an extra chapter anyway. So yeah that's what's happening next week - and then after that updates will go back to normal. 
> 
> Just on a little side note - I know I always tell Eren not to shout, but god dammit I am Eren..
> 
> And yay for the tiny introduction of Gunther..
> 
> Anyway, enjoy as always leave a comment or kudos. Everything is appreciated (:

“LEVI!”

He knows it’s futile, knows that there is nothing he can do to make up for what Levi just saw him do. But he has to try, even if nothing comes of it. Because he made a mistake, the biggest mistake he could have made and he needs Levi to understand that. Even if he doesn’t forgive him, he just needs him to know that he made a mistake. That he acknowledges it.

“Levi, wait!” He calls, running out of the nightclub door that Levi had just swiftly exited.

Eren runs after the back that is retreating almost too quickly for him to catch. Levi’s head is hung low as he walks away, showing no sign that he hears his name being called.

“Levi, please just stop,” He’s pleading now, and while he’d prefer to keep his backbone through this whole ordeal, Levi did have some of the blame after all, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to. He’s already breaking, as if he’s losing the one thing that he’s always wanted.

Just as he expected, Levi does not stop, doesn’t even slow down as he disappears into the darkness of the street, the lights of the nightclub and surrounding establishments no longer reaching out to illuminate his silhouette. Eren calls out one more time before his feet stop moving, effectively gluing him to the spot, he can’t see Levi anymore. He heaves a sigh, staring into the night for a few more minutes before turning around and walking away.

He doesn’t head back into the club, not wanting to face either Armin or Erwin, so instead he walks down the street in the direction he assumes the university is. He didn’t even want to come out tonight, and yet he knows it’s his fault for what happened, he didn’t have to kiss Erwin, and he still did it.

After walking for some time later he sees the lights of the university glowing in the distance, he picks up his pace to a swift walk just as he feels a vibration in his pocket. He pulls his phone out quickly,

hoping to read Levi’s name blinking across the screen, his face drops as he reads Armin’s. He looks down at the screen for a moment before pressing the end button and placing it back in his pocket. He has no desire to speak with him right now.

He knows it’s childish and he has no reason to be mad at his friend, but somewhere in the slight haze of his not so sober mind he can’t help but be angry at the blonde. Of course Armin had no idea what Eren was going to do once he got drunk enough to allow some stranger to grind against him, but that doesn’t do anything to quell the anger rising in him. He can’t help it. If Armin had not been so insistent on getting him to go out, so insistent on Eren getting his revenge, then maybe he would have been able to spend the night curled up in his bed with a book, thinking about what he could do to fix things with Levi. Or if he did go out, perhaps he wouldn’t have thought it was such a great idea to get his said revenge, he might have been able to have a few drinks and maybe dance with Armin.

A completely harmless night.

The vibration starts up again, he doesn’t even look at the caller ID before he presses the end button, shoving the device roughly back into his pants.

He rounds the corner, of one of the buildings on the outskirts of the university campus and almost stumbles into a person walking in the opposite direction. He doesn’t have time to focus and see who almost ran into him before the guy gives him the finger and continues on his way. This only fuels Eren’s anger and he turns his body around again to tell them to go fuck themselves only to find them already out of sight. He heaves a sigh and begins walking again, his anger building up within him with no outlet presenting its self.

No he knows the perfect outlet.

The guy who started this in the first place.

Just as Building H comes into view, he shifts direction towards Building K. He knows exactly what he’s doing, he’s going to go to Levi and apologize, apologize for being a dick. Apologize for making out with Levi’s best friend, because that’s what has made this whole situation worse, the fact that Eren chose Erwin for his revenge. It was the stupidest thing he could have done, but still he can’t bring himself to regret the action. Sure it was bad, but it at least got Levi to notice him properly, even if he now sees him in a negative light. It doesn’t matter as long as he notices him.

He gets to the building and peers through the glass, hoping someone who can let him in will walk past. As if on cue a tall man with dark brown hair walks into his view heading towards the bathrooms, Eren lifts his hand and bangs on the glass insistently. The man turns his head in his direction, he’s seen this guy before at some of the parties he’s attended, but for the life of him he can’t remember his name. He forcibly puts a smile on his face, hoping that it convinces the guy that he’s not crazy. The guy opens the door, staring questionably at him.

“Dude, are you drunk?”

Eren’s mind goes blank for a second, as he realises that he’s probably not looking the most presentable right now, having just come from the club. He stands up straighter, an effort to try and appear put together.

“What?” He brushes the question off as if it were ridiculous. “No, I’m here to see someone.”

The man lifts an eyebrow. “You do realise that it’s two in the morning, right?”

Eren blinks, he had not realised that.

“Come on, please just let me in, I really need to see him,” Eren thinks about what his chances are of pushing his way past this guy into the building. Looking again at the height and build of him, he determines his chances at a low ten percent. He sighs when the guy only looks down at him.

“Who are you here to see?”

As if that’s any of his business.

Eren knows that the only way he’s going to get in is to just tell this guy, so he heaves a sigh and looks up, staring just over the man’s ear. “I’m here to see Levi.”

The man’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the mention of Levi’s name, before he composes himself quickly. “Levi, huh? Why would you want to see that guy?”

Eren snaps, why does this guy need to know everything?

“How is that any of your business?”

If the guy is surprised by Eren’s tone, he doesn’t show it. Instead he leans against the doorframe, blocking Eren’s entry even more. “So you’re Eren then?”

Eren eyes him, how does he know his name? “And?”

The guy smirks, finally moving his body so Eren can enter the building. “Good luck then.”

Eren doesn’t spare a moment to ask what the guy means as he races towards the stairs, bounding up two at a time. He stops outside Levi’s door to catch his breath; he’s not concerned with waking him up as he smashes his fist repeatedly against the dark wood. He waits for a moment, placing his ear against the door so he can hear any movement that goes on inside the dorm room. Upon hearing nothing, he knocks again.

“Levi, come on, please just open the door,” He rests his forehead against the hard wood, his fist tapping repeatedly against it. “Look I’m sorry okay, just please come out so I can explain.”

Eren’s mentally preparing himself to spend the rest of the night out here, curled up in front of Levi’s door, if he has to. Levi’s got to come out sometime, he can catch him in the morning for sure. He sighs as he takes a step back from, he vaguely hears the sound of a door opening slowly, but it does not register in his brain straight away that it’s the one he was just banging on. He lifts his head, staring straight into cold grey eyes.

“Levi,” It comes out lower than a breath, as it hangs in the air between them. He scrambles forward, towards the shorter man, but stops when Levi takes a step back. He stares into the eyes that give away no emotion, give him nothing to work with, but he has to try. He has to. “Levi, can you please just hear me out?”

Levi’s eyes narrow as he looks him over, his eyes scrutinizing every part of him. “Why would I do that?” His tone is hard, just as Eren had expected.

“Because I need to explain, and I can’t do it out here.”

He’s surprised when Levi turns away and walks back into his dorm, leaving the door open for Eren to enter. Maybe he still has a chance. He closes the door quietly and follows Levi, he finds him seated at the small wooden table, a steaming mug of tea and a book closed resting in front of him. He recognises the title, ‘Tess of the D’urbervilles’ by Thomas Hardy, one of his favourites, he can’t help being surprised that Levi is into that kind of thing.

Levi does not give him an invitation to sit, so he remains standing in the kitchen awkwardly as Levi stares at him.

“Well, explain then.”

Eren gulps, suddenly nervous that he has to come up with an explanation. As much as he wished Levi would give him the chance to make things right, he never thought that he actually would. He doesn’t know where to start.

Levi’s eyes remain fixed on him, growing impatient as Eren shifts from foot to foot. He should have known that this was a bad idea, should have known that Eren had no explanation for what he did. But just the fact that he did it isn’t what is making Levi angry; it’s who he did it with, the fact that he didn’t have the decency to choose a complete stranger.

“Well Eren Yeager, you’re off to a good start,” The sarcasm practically drips from his tone.

Eren’s eyes shift back to Levi’s. “Okay, so I don’t have a whole speech planned out for you, just give me a second.”

Levi stares at him, as if he’s joking before he smirks, “Would you like to go back into the hall and work on it a bit more? You can let yourself back in once you’re ready, I’ll just wait for you here.”

“Why do you always have to do that?”

Levi lifts an eyebrow, but remains silent.

“You have to turn everything into a joke, I came here to give you an explanation, to apologize and you just have to go and be a dick. You know that’s the reason I did it, right? Because of you,” He has no idea why he just said that last part, sure he’s pissed off by Levi’s attitude, but if this is anyone’s fault Eren knows he’s the only one he can blame. Not Erwin, not Armin, not Levi, but him.

“My fault? So you came here to blame me then?” He asks, his tone hard as he focuses on the one thing that he was hoping he would just over look. He doesn’t seem to be the type to be affected by how other people feel about him after all.

“Okay, I didn’t mean it like that, just let me get my thoughts straight,” Eren says quickly, hoping Levi will give him a minute.

“No, you wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it.”

He looks at Levi’s face expecting to see anger, but his expression remains indifferent, as if he couldn’t care less about where Eren placed the blame. This only causes Eren’s anger to flare up yet again.

“Are you even mad at me? Because at the club you seemed pretty pissed off, and now you’re sitting here as if whatever I choose to say won't have any effect on you.”

“Do you want me to be mad at you?” There’s that tone again, flat and uncaring.

“Of course not, but I don’t want this either.”

Levi leans forward on the table, resting his arms in front of him, “Look, I’m the one who said that we’re just having fun; you’re the one that got mad and stormed out.”

Eren’s eyes widen at his sudden realisation. “So you really don’t care.” It’s not a question, and thankfully Levi remains quiet. He stares into Levi’s eyes, his anger only growing at the lack of emotion he finds in them. “So then what the hell was that at the club then?”

“I was surprised, that’s all,” He states, his words completely contradicting his actions earlier in the night. “I know Erwin is a slut when he’s been drinking, but I thought you might have had a bit of self-control.”

“Stop it, Levi. Stop lying,” His voice comes out as a half shout, he clamps his jaw shut immediately.

Levi’s eyes change as they look at each other, and for a second Eren regrets raising his voice, but it dissipates the longer he stares at the man’s calm composure. “Lying?”

“Yes, just tell me the truth for once.”

“Okay, then answer one question for me, Eren Yeager.”

Yes, he’ll do anything.

“Why did you let him touch you?” His tone comes out hard, as he finally allows himself to show a hint of emotion.

He’d been expecting this of course, but even so he can’t seem to keep his own tone under control. “Because you won’t!” His voice comes out louder, and whinier than he had planned.

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Levi’s own tone rises as he snaps.

“You know exactly what it means, Levi. One second you act interest and the next you have to ruin it by saying that it means nothing. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?” He’s almost shouting now, he needs Levi to understand just how he feels, and the only way Eren can seem to do that is to shout at the man.

Levi’s composure starts to crack as his hands curl into tight fists against the table. He takes a deep breathe before replying. “Not go and let another guy, let alone Erwin, feel you up,” He can’t help but smirk at his next words as his composure once again relaxes, “I mean at least if you are going to do it, try not to make it one of my best friends.”

Eren has no retort but, “Fuck you, Levi.”

He hates the smirk that remains on his face, hates that while he’s over here screaming, Levi has the balls to remain cocky.

“Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you again? Let you know that you’re the only one for me?”

Eren knows that the man is teasing him now. He hates that he’s allowed his emotions to get the best of him, hates that he’s given Levi this opening, yet he can’t stop now. “I want you to do something. I want you to act like you’re actually interested in being with me.”

“I never said that I was,” He responds, shrugging

“You’re serious?” He stares at him as if he’d just spoken another language.

“I don’t know okay! I don’t know what you want from me,” Levi runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

His sudden loss of composure surprises Eren, so he tries another approach. He lowers his voice to a gentle tone. “Tell me how you feel, that’s all I want.”

“Why would that make a bit of difference?” His tone comes out hard once again as cold grey eyes glare. “I mean if this is what you’re going to do every time you think I say the wrong thing, or say something that you don’t want to hear then I’m not convinced I want any of this. I’m not convinced that I want anything to do with you.”

Eren doesn’t say anything, has no idea what he can say, because he knows Levi is right. The first time he used Armin to make him jealous and then his best friend. He doesn’t know what he’s doing; he’s never been like this before. So he does the only thing he can think to do, he moves closer to Levi reaching his hand out to touch the shorter man’s face as hard grey eyes continue to stare right through him. He’s just about to lean down and connect their lips when Levi pulls back from him suddenly, turning his head to the side, eyes now closed so Eren isn’t able to read them. He speaks with a voice so emotionless that Eren wishes he’d never said anything.

“Just get out, Eren Yeager.”

Eren steps back as if the man just slapped him. He doesn’t say anything, he can’t even think of any words to say that will allow him to even attempt to fix things between them. He wordlessly turns around and walks out the door, slamming it behind him while every fibre of his being is shouting at him to stay. To fight.

He storms down the corridor, not glancing behind him once as he makes his way towards the building exit.

“Eren?”

He lifts his head, turning it in the direction of the stairs he’d just descended.

“Are you okay?” Hange’s eyes are full of concern as she stares at the brunette.

“Did you hear everything?” He doesn’t feel the need to specify what he’s referring to.

She nods, continuing to walk down the stairs towards Eren.

“I’m sorry if we woke you up, I just,-,” He cuts himself off, running his hand roughly through his hair. “He just doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get it.”

He stares at Hange waiting for her to speak, when she doesn’t he sighs, running his hand through his messy hair again. “How is it so hard for him to understand where I’m coming from? How can he not understand what I want?”

“He does, Eren,” Her words surprise him, as he stares wide eyed at her.

“Then I don’t understand what his problem is.”

She takes a step forward, he almost expects her to place a comforting hand on his shoulder but she doesn’t, instead she crosses them across her chest and looks at him pointedly.

“You drive him crazy, Eren. You make him so mad that he has no idea how he keeps putting up with you. But you know what, so do Erwin and I, and we’re the ones Levi cares about the most,” She gives him a look like he’s missing some basic point as she continues, “And I don’t understand how you don’t see that.”

“Well maybe if he actually said it,” He mumbles, looking away.

“Some people just aren’t wired that way, they need some encouragement,” She responds softly.

“I don’t know if I’m up for that,” He says quietly, every word stabbing his chest as he speaks.

“Then don’t do anything,” She says bluntly. “If you’re not prepared to work with him on this, to keep fighting when he pushes you away then quite frankly you don’t deserve him. And if you feel that way then I feel sorry for you, because you’d be missing out.”

“I just -. He makes it so hard, Hange. He knows what I want, but he has to twist my words and make everything into one big joke.”

“Have you actually told him what you want?” She says, looking at Eren carefully.

He says nothing; tries to think if he’s ever actually said the words to Levi, actually specified exactly what he wants. His eyes widen as he realises that he hasn’t. Not in so many words anyway.

Hange continues as if she expected that response, “Because, Eren, I heard everything that just went on between you two, and let me tell you, you may think that you made your feelings clear, but you didn’t. You said everything but what he needed to hear, and that’s why you’re standing talking to me right now, instead of up there with him.”

“I’ve never done this before; somehow I just keep screwing up. I want to be with him, but I don’t know if I can do this,” He hates the fact that he’s giving in so easily, but he doesn’t know what else he can do.

“Well Eren, if you really want him then that’s something you’re going to have to be prepared to do. Because I think you’re playing a very dangerous game. And if previous experience counts for anything, you’re going to be on the losing end,” Her eyes are soft, contradicting the hardness of her words.

She begins to walk back towards the stairs, leaving Eren with some last words.

“Eren I think you’re a great guy, but I’ve known Levi since we were kids. So if you do anything to hurt him again, even if he doesn’t show it because we all know Levi is a master at keeping his emotions hidden, I’m coming after you. I’m on his side.”

Before she’s walking back up the stairs, leaving Eren to stare after her.


	17. Blame? (Alternate Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Levi can't take it anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT CHAPTER SIXTEEN THIS IS NOT CHAPTER SIXTEEN! THIS IS NOT CHAPTER SIXTEEN! THISISNOTCHAPTERSIXTEEN!
> 
> Okay, so I'm not sure how many of you actually read all the chapter notes at the start of the chapters, but I want to make sure there is no confusion with this chapter..
> 
> As I stated last week, THIS CHAPTER IS NOT CHAPTER SIXTEEN. This chapter is an alternate chapter to chapter fifteen. So in no way does it advance the plot of this story.
> 
> This is literally a thought that I had for maybe a minute when I was discussing how this story was going to go with my friend. In the end I ended up not going with this idea but I thought, hey why not write it out as a chapter instead. I'm sure many of you will be immensely happy that I decided to chuck this idea out the window, so to speak, and you will see what I mean when you read it. Of course in saying that you might not like the story line I decided to go with anyway, but you're just going to have to wait to find out about that one.
> 
> Just so no one is confused, this chapter jumps around a bit and it spans over the course of a few months, including Levi's birthday and finishes a few weeks after that.
> 
> This is also all written from Levi's POV.
> 
> Anyway, for now please enjoy this alternate chapter, and chapter sixteen will be posted next week.
> 
> As always, leave a review or fav/follow. Everything is appreciated.

I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. If it wasn’t for Hange and Erwin’s constant nagging then I would have been back in my dorm doing anything else but this right now.

I hate nightclubs.

Too many people trying to rub their business all up against you, talk about fucking uncomfortable.

The fact that I’m forced to be around people puts me in a bad mood anyway, I doubt I’ll be any fun tonight. My mood has nothing to do with the fact that I know Eren Yeager will be here and that’s the reason I was forced to come. Hange has no idea what went on between us this morning, and I have every intention of keeping it that way.

That guy has a serious problem. Not once did either of us specify what we were doing, and when it’s finally said out loud he gets angry about it, because it’s apparently not what he wants. I never once said that I wanted to be in a relationship with him. But in saying so there is something about the guy that intrigues me. Not his stalker personality, no that’s just fucking annoying. It’s the way in which he talks to people, how he’s so open with them yet bashful as if he’s said too much. It’s interesting to me because I know I would never give someone more than what they ask of me, and even then it’s unlikely. And while I’m dead set against any kind of exclusive relationship with him, Hange seems determined to make it happen.

I sigh, showing my ID to the bouncer in front of me and make my way into the club. The music sounds as if someone has grabbed the volume dial and turned it up to full blast. It rings through my ears causing them to buzz slightly as a headache brews. I glance around the large room, looking for any sign of Hange or Erwin so I know that I didn’t come out in vain. It’s times like this when I wish I was taller. In an attempt to look over the heads of the people surrounding me I raise myself onto my toes before grunting in annoyance and placing my feet flat on the ground.

I stare onto the dancefloor just as an electronic song starts up; the few people at the front begin to move faster allowing me to see past them to see two males standing just behind them entwined tightly together. An annoyed sigh leaves my mouth as I stare at their disgusting public display of affection, I have half a mind to go over there and slap some sense into them, I don’t care how drunk they are. I take one step forward when I notice it, I know them. I stare harder trying to distinguish their features as my temper spikes. If they weren’t standing side on to me than I would have assumed Erwin had found some drunken person to latch onto, but as fate would have it I can see everything. See the way one of Erwin’s arms circles around Eren’s waist as the other openly gropes him. I can see the way Eren’s wrapping his arms around Erwin’s neck to bring them closer together, though from the look of them I don’t actually think it would be possible.

Is it possible for your blood to boil while it’s still contained within you?

Before tonight I would have said no. But standing here now with drunk and sober people attempting to push past me and enter the night club, something in me is heating. And yet my body feels so cold, rooted to the spot unable to move as I stare at the two men in front of me. In the time I’ve stood here staring they’ve turn towards me, Erwin’s eyes reflecting a challenge back at me, I shouldn’t be surprised that he would do something like this, yet still the realisation kind of hurts.

But it can’t hurt. Stupid things like this don’t affect me anymore.

Eren’s eyes show characteristics of a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding car. He looks cute like this, caught in the act of doing something he shouldn’t. And yet it does nothing for me, it never could. Not now.

I’m not entirely sure what my face looks like, but I’m certain it’s not pretty. Sure I don’t have the nicest face, expression wise most of the time anyway, but it feels twisted. I know my eyes are open wide as I can feel them starting to strain but the rest of my face is scrunched up in a way that it has never been.

No words are voiced between the three of us, two of us too shocked at the revelation of what has happened, and one, smirking. I look at both of them for another minute before calmly turning around and exciting the club thankful that the look on my face causes people to move away from me quickly so I don’t have to physically shove them. I’m outside, halfway across the carpark when I hear my name being shouted.

“Levi, wait!” Of course it’s Eren, Erwin would never chase after me like this. In fact thinking about it now, no one has ever run after me like this, my talent for distancing myself from people and their emotions always caused people to think that I just wasn’t worth the effort. Perhaps I’m not. Even so I continue walking, distancing myself for the one person who for just a second I allowed myself to see some sort of future with. I’m not surprised to find that it doesn’t hurt. Not one bit. Not now.

“Levi, please just stop,” Floats to my ears, coupled with the pounding of feet against the pavement. I pick up the pace; disappearing into the darkness the large trees around the carpark create, never once looking back.

I walk in the direction of the dorms, knowing that I should not be anywhere near other people right now, but for lack of having nowhere else to go, it’s my only option. I make it to the front door, open it and step inside. I’m knocked to the side, almost losing my balance before a large tanned hand is wrapping it’s self around my wrist.

“Whoa there, Levi,” I turn my sharp gaze quickly onto the man who still thinks it’s okay to be touching me.

“Gunther,” I reply shortly, wrenching my arm from his grasp.

He smiles back slightly, amused at my action. “You’re as friendly as always, Levi.”

I mumble something in reply as I walk in the direction of the stairs, leaving Gunther behind. I make it up into my dorm quickly, immediately boiling my kettle and setting about making myself a cup of tea. Tea always calms me down. But I’m already calm, so I’m not sure why I’m drinking it. I sit with the mug and a book in one of my kitchen chairs. After some time I feel my eyes begin to droop shut and the next thing I’m aware of is an incessant banging against my door that makes me clench my teeth together. I remain in my sitting position until the noise finally stops. I breathe out a sigh into the quiet, thankful that whoever it is has decided to move along; it’s probably just Hange wanting to hang out.

The knocks start up, quieter this time but not any less annoying.

“Levi, come on, please just open the door,” I know that voice; I’d know that annoying whiney voice anywhere. It’s certainly not Hange. I remain seated as the knocking continuing.

“Look I’m sorry okay, just please come out so I can explain.” I hate that whiney voice. Hate it. Where is his backbone?

The knocking stops causing me to release another relieved sigh, perhaps he’s left. I listen for a moment, before I hear shuffling, as if someone is pacing outside of the door. He’s still here then.

Am I still even mad at him? Honestly I’m not sure if I ever was, shocked sure, but mad? No I don’t think so. He’s not mine, and that’s half my fault, but I never told him that I wanted him. At least not like that. I don’t understand how his mind works. He’s too skittish, flitting from one thought to the next without any real understanding of what he wants. Draining is what he is. Even so I find myself getting up and walking towards my door.

I open it, immediately seeing the teal eyes full of regret that make me cringe. It’s your fault Eren, all your fault.

“Levi,” He whispers quietly as he moves quickly towards me, immediately forcing me to take a step back into the dorm, his face falls at my rejection. “Levi, can you please just hear me out?” His whiney voice causes me to cringe in disgust.

I narrow my eyes, taking in his pathetic stature. No backbone. “Have you come to grovel, Eren Yeager?”

He immediately stands up straighter, trying his hardest to keep eye contact with me. “I came to explain.”

I put my hand up between us, immediately silencing anything he was going to follow those ridiculous words with. “There’s no need.”

His mouth drops open in shock, “What?”

I roll my eyes, his stupidity physically draining me. “I said you do not need to explain.”

“B-But, you were mad?” He stutters out, attempting to get his head around my very straight forward words.

“Was I?”

He runs his hands down his face, looking up at me between his fingers as he shakes his head back and forth slowly. “What?”

I stare at him, not inclined to answer questions I’ve already answered.

“I don’t understand.”

I sigh, walking further into the room and pulling out a chair. I slump down into it this night having physically drained me of my all energy. At this point it’s just easier to say its fine than it is to explain all the reasons that it’s not. I watch him as he takes careful steps towards me as if he’s afraid I’ll tell him to leave at any second. I almost do. “I don’t need you to understand anything. You can either take me at my word, or not. It’s of no concern to me.”

He’s on me before I can breathe in, pulling me out of the chair by my shoulders and placing his lips surprisingly hard against my own. I almost push him away, almost shove against his chest and tell him to leave my dorm room one last time. But I don’t. I close my eyes allowing him to kiss me and though I don’t lift my arms to wrap around him, he takes my lack of resistance as a sign of forgiveness. I couldn’t tell him if he’s right, even I’m not sure what it is yet. He breaks away from my mouth, his lips wasting no time before they latch onto the side of my throat in hot wet kisses as he mumbles something along the lines of, “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me.” I’d stopped listening the second his mouth on my skin sent shivers through my body. He’s being dominating in a way I’ve never seen, and I’m surprised to find a small part of myself liking this side of him. He presses against me and his hard arousal becomes clear as it pushes into my hip. Something in me wants to recoil, knowing that only hours ago my best friend had felt the very same thing.

A hand reaches for my pants, unzipping them quickly and I’m surprised to discover I’m hard in contrast to the contradicting thoughts swirling through my head. He palms his hand firmly against me; I silently curse myself for the small groan that escapes through my lips. I feel him smirk against my neck and the action makes my stomach turn. Does he really think that he’s forgiven, just because I’m allowing him to touch me like this?

Even so I don’t make a move to stop him, too caught up in the feeling of him on my skin. Because I’ve never had a problem with Eren like this, this animalistic side that he keeps reserved only for those he allows to see him this way. It’s only when he chooses to open his mouth and spurt out half-truths and angry words that he rubs me the wrong way.

Is that wrong?

To only want a person to touch your skin and make you feel something and not want to deal with their emotions that every single human being feels the need to bring forth?

Perhaps that’s something wrong on my end. I’ll never know as I’m not one to open up my mind and allow another to riffle through picking and choosing the parts of me they want. It’s easier to just give someone my body and leave the baggage that comes with it out of their reach. No one needs that.

I certainly don’t.

My breath leaves me as he switches our positions, sitting himself down on the chair and pulling me on top of him. He immediately ruts up against me, his hard dick rubbing firmly against the pants covering my arse. He latches onto my neck again, biting down and sucking harshly. I never understood the need to mark someone, never felt the need to give them no choice but to parade around with everyone knowing their mine. I’m confused as to why he’s doing it to me, wasn’t I the one who was wronged here? I was his until he decided that I wasn’t enough. And yet here he is marking me like some possession only because I caught him in the act. I curse myself for the thrill I get from it, knowing that he wants me, but not knowing if I’m the only one he wants.

We’ve moved onto my bed without me knowing how and when we got there. He stares up at me through lust clouded teal eyes from where he lies beneath me. His shirt has been removed, revealing the tanned slightly toned expanse of his torso. He wriggles slightly, silently urging me to do something. I indulge him for a moment, running my tongue down the middle of his stomach as he shivers beneath me. He whines when I move away, leaning back on my knees to glance at the wrecked man. I remove my own shirt, his hands quickly come up to run down my sides, across the muscles clear on my stomach but I slap his hand away. What gives him the right to touch me?

I remove his pants quickly after mine as I settle myself between his legs. I don’t touch him, instead reach for the lube in the draw of my bedside table and slick my own hard dick up. He doesn’t deserve the curtesy of being prepped. I recognize that some sadistic part of me wants to hurt him, wants to see him writhing under me, not in the pleasure I’m giving him, but in the pain I inflict upon his body. After all, it’s what he deserves, isn’t it? He hurt me, isn’t it only right that I hurt him back. I mean it’s only fair.

I line myself up, rocking my hips back and forth before I enter him. I stare straight into his eyes; I want him to know what’s coming. His own widen slightly when he realises my lack of preparation and the fact that I don’t intend to.

“Levi?” He asks in that small voice of his. What happened to his rough side, the animalistic part of him that had me struggling for breath? Who is this beneath me? Is it the same man who almost got off on the dancefloor with my best friend only hours ago?

I push forward, not concerned with the way his hands tighten around me. I’m met with resistance that I challenge head first, continuing to push forward. I’m only looking to seek out my own pleasure.  He whines as I stretch him, clawing at my back in pain. I hush him; tell him anything he needs to hear in order to calm down, though the words mean nothing to me. Only a way to make this easier for myself. I manage to get the whole way in and we both lay still trying to get used to the sensation, he doesn’t give me the okay before I pull all the way out and thrust back in, the only sounds leaving his mouth being groans of pain, which to my displeasure quickly turn to moans of pleasure. I push harder against him, faster as I set a rhythm only for myself. His legs wrap around my back holding me closer against him. He claims my lips with his, pushing his hot tongue into my mouth. I bite his lip hard, looking to draw blood, and when he pulls back with a sharp intake of breath I know I succeeded. He looks up at me, when his eyes aren’t closed in the pleasure I’m giving his body they’re eyes bordering on naïve trust. Oh he has no idea.

I quicken my thrusts. Wanting this over and done with quickly.

During I may have mumbled something along the lines of ‘you’re mine, only mine’ but now my mind is too hazy to recall saying such a possessive thing.

He lies beside me, facing the opposite direction as his breathing evens out as unconsciousness takes him.

~~.~~

“What are we doing here?”

“Proving that we do leave your dorm room,” He seems almost too cheerful to be amongst his friends.

I look over at him, unconcerned with what he wants. “So then why am I here? They’re your friends.”

“Come on, Levi,” He’s whining again. Always whining.

“So we’re supposed to just sit here, is that it?” I know I’m being bitter, but we’ve all been sitting here for close to an hour and the whole ordeal is becoming tiresome.

He leans away from Armin for a second to actually look at me. “You could try conversing with people.”

I turn away from him, leaning back on my hands to stare at the sky. The sun’s too bright causing me to squint against its harsh rays. His friends are talking about random shit that means absolutely nothing to me in their respective positions on this ratty picnic blanket.

I sigh loudly enough for both him and Armin to stop their conversation and look at me. I can feel their gazes on me as I get up, not looking at either of them and walk away.

“Levi, where are you going?” Eren shouts after me, but I hear no footsteps drawing closer. I grab a cigarette out of my pocket and light it, not once turning back.

~~.~~

I wonder if he sees it.

Sees how hard I’m trying to be okay with everything. Of course it’s not my choice to be like this, but I never seemed to get past the one thing that makes me act this way.

I walk slowly back to my dorm, knowing that he’s already there waiting for me.

Ever since that night he’s been like a leech that I can’t seem to shake off. No matter how harsh I am, how mean, he seems determined to stay with me. I hope it’s hurting him to stay with me. Hope that every time I ignore him, every time I recoil from his touch a piece of him breaks.

I open the door to my dorm and see him sitting at my table like he belongs there. A book propped up on his knee and two mugs of hot liquid sitting on the table. For a second, only a second a part of me brightens, I could see it, Eren sitting at my table every night waiting for me to come home. We could be happy.

I squash the thought immediately, that’s no longer an option for us. Not when we’re like this.

“Welcome back,” He greets, not looking up from his book.

I grunt in response, placing my bag down on one of the chairs and walk to my bedroom. I’ve removed my pants and shirt when I look up to find him standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” He sounds like a puppy that’s been kicked.

“Going to bed,” I say as I make myself comfortable under the covers.

I look up a minute later to see him still standing there, arms crossed over his chest staring at me. “That’s kind of creepy.”

He leaves after that, walking back down the hall to the kitchen.

I awake sometime later to a warm pressure against my back. Eren’s breathing rustles the hair near my ear, but it’s not deep enough for him to be asleep. I shift slightly, not wanting to alert him to my consciousness but wanting to determine if he’s awake anyway. He shuffles after I do, and I notice he’s hard against my back. I shift again, feeling him press up against me, slowly grinding. His tongue flicks out licking against the nape of my neck slowly, teasingly. I let out a small groan and he grins against my neck as if he’s won some prize in waking me up. A hand snakes around my hips rubbing it’s self against my crotch in an effort to get me hard. I moan at the touch again, feeling myself hardening quickly under his hand. The waistband of my underwear comes away from my skin as he places his hand under them, sliding them down and completely off my body in one swift movement. He flips me onto my back quickly, not allowing me anytime to resist before he’s leaning over me. I stare up at him, eyes blank until he wraps his hand around my dick again, stroking slowly. My back arches into his touch as I search for more pleasure than he’s giving me. And then he smirks, actually has the balls to smirk as he stares down at me.

“You have no idea how good you look like this. All flustered and submissive under me,” He growls, quickening his strokes.

My eyes harden at his words. Submissive is something that I will never be, not with him. I grab his hand tightly, removing it from where it continues to stroke and flip him, causing his back to hit the mattress harshly as I now hover over him. His eyes are wide, yet they hold a challenge, as if daring me to do something next. I sit back on my heels, only noticing now that he’s already naked, like he had planned this from the start.

“Turn around,” My voice is harsh, as I watch his expression twist into confusion. “You heard me, get on your hands and knees and turn around.”

He does as instructed silently. I could tell him that it’s because I can’t bear to look at his face, but he doesn’t need to know that.

I press myself against him, folding my crotch against his ass as my stomach presses down heavily on his back. I enter him swiftly, irritation washing over me as he lets out a moan. He’s grown accustomed to not being prepared now and a small part of me hates him for it. This was never something I did for his pleasure; I wanted to break him, to make him know that at least on some level I’ve still not fully forgiven him. At least he doesn’t need to know that I never forgave him in the first place, but now to have him moaning from being ripped apart like this only has me feeling like I need to go harder. To wreck him.

I thrust into him harshly, liking this position better as I can’t see his face, he’s not what I care about. That’s the one thing I’ll admit to. Needing the pleasure, craving it, even though it comes from him. It’s the only thing driving me, allowing me to stand being in his presence.

Because I don’t love him.

I can’t.

~~.~~

“Why is he here?”

Eren looks at me from his seat on my tiny table; the one he claimed without permission like it was his to just take.

“Armin? I told him he could come over and study,” His face turns guilty as he stares at my expression. “Should I not have done that?”

My scoff says enough as I walk past them to the sink, fill a glass with water and head down the hall to my room. I’ve just gotten myself situated at my desk when Eren’s footsteps stop in the doorway.

“Why are you so cranky today?”

“I’m not,” I reply opening my laptop to do my own work. He says nothing, but does not move from his position. I sigh, turning my chair to face him. “You should ask before you invite your friends into my apartment.”

“It’s just Armin,” He says, as if that makes the smallest bit of difference. Armin the one that can’t stop eye fucking Eren every time the brunette isn’t looking at him.

“It’s just my dorm.”

Eren lets his arms fall down, smacking them loudly against his thighs. “Fine, we’ll go somewhere else.”

“You’re here now, so whatever.”

He leaves the doorway after that, shuffling his feet pathetically back down the hall. I hear the scrapping of a chair being pulled out and then the slightly hushed whispers that still make their way up to me.

“Have I done something wrong?” Armin asks, his voice small and uncertain.

“No, he’s just been in one of his moods lately. He’ll get over it,” Eren’s answers so sure of himself. As if he knows the way I think down to a T.

I grit my teeth and tune out of their conversation, directing my attention to the work in front of me.

~~.~~

“Why are you doing this to me again?” I corner him as soon as we’ve returned from another little outing with his friends. He looks up from where he’s bent over by the door taking his shoes off. The surprise on his face says everything, it’s not that I hadn’t complained about the day’s events but I hadn’t outright voiced my distain either. Until now that is, but it’s concerning something entirely different.

“Well?” I spit when he makes no action to speak.

“What are you talking about?” He finally asks as he walks over to place his hands on my shoulders.

“I mean you and your little friend Armin. You’re fucking behind my back, aren’t you?” My voice holds no room for argument, straight to the point and harsh. I glare up into his eyes as his own flit around everywhere as not to meet them.

“What the hell gave you that idea?” He asks, finally looking down at me in shock.

“Just tell me the truth!” Though my voice is low, its harsh undertone causes him to flinch slightly as his hands slip on my shoulders.

“No.” He says, his fingers digging into my shirt. “No we’re not fucking, Levi. Do you understand that? I’m with you.” He places a hand on my chin slightly, not to get me to look at him, I’m already doing that, but in an effort to exert some tenderness towards me. “Always.”

Well always just got a hell of a lot shorter.

I wrench myself from his grasp, he’s too shocked by the action to do anything but allow his hands to fall back down to his sides.

“Don’t you fucking patronize me, Eren Yeager!” I run my hands through my hair, pulling harshly at the strands out of frustration. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”

He walks towards me, hands up as if to say that he’s not a danger to me. I glare at him as he approaches. “I’m telling you the truth. What do I have to do to make you see that?”

_I wonder what it would be like._

My arm shoots out in front of me without me consciously telling it to do so and wraps around the wrist that he had begun to stretch out to comfort me. I say nothing as my grip around him tightens; he lets out a whimper as his skin pinches under my fingernails, his bones starting to ach from the force.

“Levi?” He says wearingly, looking at me with scared eyes. I glance up at him quickly, yet remain silent.

“Levi, let go. You’re hurting me.” His voice wavers sightly as he attempts to free himself from my grip. I continue to squeeze tighter, what I’m doing not exactly registering in my brain, as I cannot stop it.

“Levi!” His loud voice shocks something inside of me, causing me to instantly release his wrist and pull back from him. “Levi?” He asks his tone once again filled with worry.

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway,” I say as I turn away from him and exit the dorm.

~~.~~

“Are you doing okay?”

I shoot her a hard glare, a look that would have silenced anyone else, but Hange has always been nothing but insistent.

“Don’t give me that look. I’m just concerned about you, we hardly ever see you anymore.”

“Perhaps I’ve grown tired of your immature antics,” I reply, looking out the smudged glass window of the café.

“After all these years you would just cut us off, just like that?” I could never describe how strange it was to hear her hurt.

I turn to her, a slight smile on my lips as I think of the possibility of cutting all of them out of my life. It would be so easy too, just stop all communication. It’s not like I’m a great person to be around on my best days anyway. “I wouldn’t do that.”

She looks at me wearingly before sighing, resting her elbows on the table and leaning forward. “So, what’s up with you and Eren? I haven’t seen you together that much, are you guys still doing okay?”

I hate that I flinch at the mention of his name, hate that it has that sort of effect on me. “We’re fine.”

It’s clear that she doesn’t believe me, and I find myself understanding why. It’s not as if I’ve tried very hard to hide the fact that I’m angry, at Eren, Erwin and myself. They just don’t need to know the extent in which that anger runs through me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

She smiles, and though it’s only slight it still succeeds in putting me on edge. “I don’t believe you.”

“That’s of no concern to me,” I answer brushing her off with a hand gestured in the space between us.

Her smile turns sad causing her eyes to crinkle around the edges; it’s an odd look for her.

“I just want you to be happy.”

“Me too,” Because what else could I say?

~~.~~

“Happy Birthday, Levi!”

A chorus of loud voices shocks me as I cross the threshold of the dorm building. I glance up at the people standing in the room in front of me. I spot Eren straight away, standing at the front of the crowd, the spot that belongs to the person who is the most important to me, he doesn’t belong there. He steps towards me as I remain in place not sure what to do, and places a kiss on my slightly parted lips.

“Happy birthday,” He whispers low in my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine that leaves me cold and shaking.

“Okay, okay. Stop hogging the birthday boy, we all get a turn with him,” Hange declares loudly as she pushes him to the side, leaving him laughing at her antics. She envelops me in a hug so warm and caring that I never want to leave, as if sensing this she holds me tighter for a moment squashing me against her boobs before releasing me.

“Levi! Happy birthday,” I turn as a large hand clamps down on my shoulder, squeezing almost painfully.

“Erwin,” I answer, not feeling inclined to throw him any sort of bone.

The large grin that spreads across his face causes my temper to rise. “What’s got you in such a bad mood? All your friends are here to celebrate your birthday, at least try to smile.”

I push his hand from my shoulder and walk away from the group that convened around me. Hange should have the alcohol somewhere around here; I spot it sitting on a table over on the side of the room and make myself comfortable in a seat beside it.

I’m nursing my fifth drink and pretending to listen to whatever story Hange is telling me when I spot them sitting next to each other on the couch set up near the stairs. Eren is talking excitedly, waving his hands in the air as if trying to convey a point, as Armin leans in, resting a hand on Eren’s knee as he hangs on to every word Eren is saying. My hand tightens around the plastic cup in my hand, it begins to crumple within my hand, causing Hange to stop talking and look closely at me.

“Levi?”

Her gaze drifts from my face to the direction in which I’m staring. She looks back at my face, her own holding the same sad expression as earlier. Its pity and I realise I hate it. Hate that I am the object in which she is directing it at, someone who needs to me pitied. Someone pathetic.

Eren stops flailing one of his arms only so he can rest his hand on top of Armin’s still resting on his knee and something inside me snaps. Sure I was pissed that Eren was getting the attention, but  at least some part of me understood that he’s a good looking guy, with the kind of personality that many people would find endearing. It’s only now seeing him show this kind of attention to Armin that something inside of me once again begins to boil. I stand up abruptly, causing Hange to sit back in her seat. I place my cup forcefully against the table and begin walking towards the stairs. As I pass the couch Eren’s arm snakes out and grabs my wrist, I look down at him noticing that he still has his other hand placed on top of Armin’s, my eye twitches as Armin looks at me so innocent and concerned, though I know he’s anything but.

“Why are you leaving?” Eren asks his tone soft and confused.

I breathe in slowly, only so I can stop myself from yelling. “I’m tired of this.”

If he catches the double meaning in my words, he doesn’t show it.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

I glance down at their hands, my teeth clench and as much as I don’t want him here with Armin, I don’t want him anywhere near me either. So I keep it short.

“No.”

I don’t stay to see his reaction, just pull my arm out of his grip and walk up the stairs.

~~.~~

“What would have happened if I didn’t walk in that night?”

“Huh?” He asks his voice lazy and light as he looks at me from across the small table.

I stare just off to the left of his face, there’s a spot standing out on the wall against the off white of the paint that causes the skin on the back of my neck to itch now that I’ve become aware of it. “That night at the club.”

His small intake of breath tells me I don’t need to elaborate further. It takes him a moment to speak but when he finally does it’s low and guilty.

“You mean, would I have had sex with Erwin?”

I nod slowly glancing to the side slightly so I can read his eyes.

“Honestly, I think I may have.” His eyes are silently pleading with me to understand. “I mean, I was angry and I don’t know if I would have regretted it afterwards or not, but in the moment I was up for taking it as far as he wanted to. I wouldn’t have said no.”

I let air out harshly through my nose, my eyes straining as I try to keep from glaring. This isn’t the time for that.

He continues, though he shouldn’t. “What I mean is that he’s a good looking guy. But the second I saw you it was as if you broke the spell he had me under. I realised my mistake. And thank god I wasn’t too late. Thank god you cared enough about me to give me another chance.”

God has nothing to do with it.

Something in the atmosphere in the room changes, as if the temperature has dropped a few degrees, not enough that was too obvious but just enough for you to know that something wasn’t right. “You know, Eren, you’re something else.” My sneering tone causes his eyes to widen.

“What?”

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“Levi, I don’t understand what you mean,” Of course he doesn’t, he never has.

“You say that like it’s my fault,” I accuse, leaning forwards on the table to get closer to him.

“What? No. I just -. What are you talking about?” He looks at my face closely, for once noticing how serious I am. “You forgave me for Erwin, right?”

I laugh, I can’t help it. I lean back in my chair and laugh up towards the ceiling. I’ve never heard something so hilarious in my life. My laughter dies down almost as quickly as it started; I glance at him again, at the confused expression he’s sporting. “Oh Eren, you have no idea.”

He leans back in his chair, a lame attempt to put some distance between us as he’s obviously just noticed the gleam in my eyes. “Levi, what’s wrong with you?”

I lean back in my chair again, placing my foot against the table’s edge and push, balancing back on two of the chairs legs. “You know, you surprised me. I’m actually surprised I’ve been able to hold out this long, but you are such an idiot that it has me cringing every time you open your mouth.”

I push myself forward, placing my feet back on the ground and stand up, towering over him. “Do I forgive you? Well you should already know the answer to that, even you aren’t that stupid. Is there something wrong with me? Well I suppose that depends on who you ask.” I pause to smile, yet it’s twisted. “I myself believe that I’ve never been better in my life. Hange would probably tell you differently, but that is of no concern to me.”

I lean down, stopping my face only inches from his. “We’re here to talk about you after all.”

“W-What?” He stutters, trying to shift himself back, I grab the back of his chair to stop him. His eyes widen at my close proximity.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while actually, but you always seemed so busy.”

“I’ve been busy? When?” I’m only glad that he’s stopped stuttering.

“You’re such a good friend, Eren. Looking after Armin must be a full time job,” I reach my free hand out and caress his cheeks, running the tips of my fingers over it lovingly. “I’m glad you could be there for him.”

Eren moves his head into my hand, nuzzling at it gently. “He’s going through a difficult time right now. I knew if anyone would understand me spending so much time with him, it would be you. You really are a great guy, Levi. So understanding.”

I can practically feel my eyes flash dangerously at his words. Yes I’m very understanding. I understand that he’s been playing me this whole time, getting what he wants form me and then going to comfort Armin. Treating me like some idiot who isn’t capable of realising what’s really going on.

“Are you in love with me, Eren?” My fingers slide from his cheek to his neck, stroking the soft tanned skin. He shivers under my touch as his large bright eyes stare straight into mine.

“Yes.” Liar.

I smile, my fingers continuing to stroke at his neck.

“Do you love me?” His voice is so small, so uncertain as he asks. I continue to smile as I lean in close again; my eyes tender and open as they look at him. I move my other hand from the back of the chair and place it against his jaw. I continue moving in, lining my lips up with his as I draw nearer. He closes his eyes when we’re almost touching.

“No.”

I wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze. His eyes open wide instantly, the whites visible as he tries to comprehend what’s going on. My fingers tighten quickly, the red colour washing over his face is as unattractive as he has become. It makes me sick, to look at him like this. To know that this is what he’s driven me to. Even so, it’s the only way. It has to be done. For both our sakes.

In our struggle we both fell off the chair onto the cold hard ground of my kitchen. He lays beneath me, his legs kicking up in a weak attempt to throw me off. I feel my cheeks aching and it’s then that I realise that I’m still smiling, grinning in fact as I look down at the man that I could have loved, yet he never gave us a shot. I wonder what I look like to him, probably half crazed and smiling and I’m happy with that. He always wanted to see me smiling, to see me happy. So I guess he finally got his wish.

“I don’t know why you’re struggling so hard, Eren. You brought this on yourself. If you weren’t such a naïve little slut then you wouldn’t be in this position. You really have so much to learn about the world.” I tighten my hands more. “But I’m sorry to say, you’re not going to get that chance.”

“Le-. Please. St-p,” He finally finds some breath as his fingers claw at my hands, trying desperately to loosen them, but I am unmoving.

I ignore him.

“I mean, you love me? What a fucking joke. You think I could believe that after watching you for months parading around with Armin. You think I could believe that after what you did with Erwin?” I glare down at him, no longer finding the situation entertaining. “You have no idea how hard I tried to forgive you. To make things right. But you didn’t care. You had better things to do than be with me after all. So many choices that you didn’t know what to do with yourself.” Once again my hands tighten.

“I’m not giving you a choice this time, Eren.”

The redness begins retreating from his face as a paleness I’ve never seen begins to replace it. His eyes are glassy as they stare up at me, still wide and frightened, but they don’t look like they are seeing anything.

“Le-vi,” He breaths out one final time before his fingers stop clawing at my hands and fall limply down to the ground.

I stay in my position for a moment, just looking into his eyes until I finally fall to the side and lay down beside him. I watch the shadows on the wall as the time passes; watch them get smaller and smaller as the sun sets. My phone vibrates in my pocket but I ignore it, completely content to just lie here with him.

I’m not going to say that it wasn’t premeditated, because in a way it was. There was something about him, about the way he looked, the way he talked, the way he was, that always rubbed me the wrong way since that night. Perhaps it was because I saw a side of him that I didn’t like and had no desire to get to know. I’d seen the way he’d been eyeing Armin too, of course anyone could see that the blonde was madly in love with Eren, and I had a feeling that he was beginning to return those feelings. I couldn’t allow him to do that to me.

Not again.

So yeah, I thought about it. Plenty of times actually. I thought of the rush, the accomplished feeling that would run through my body as the life drained from his. And he looks good like this, the best I’ve ever seen him and I only wish that this is how he could have been when he was still breathing. It’s so peaceful to be able to lay down with him now. I place my head upon his chest and just rest it there. Allowing the non-existent rise and fall of him breathing to lull me into a peaceful sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now aren't we all glad I decided to scrap this idea?


	18. Displacement?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren actually stands up for himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for extremely late Thursday updates!
> 
> It's been crazy over the last few days and I wa going to post this this morning but I didn't get a chance to proof read it and there was no way I was putting it up like it was. And then things got crazy but hey, at least it's going up now.
> 
> So I was quite surprised at the reaction I got for the alternate chapter last week. In all honesty I thought you were all going to be 'No you killed Eren! black blah blah' but you took it surprisingly well.
> 
> I actually love writing stuff like that, and I needed to get it out of my head, so there you go. Due to the reaction I got with that in the future there may be some similar extra chapters I might put up. Similar in the way that they are going deeper into certain characters lives, not similar in the sense that I will make them go mad and kill people.
> 
> Anyway yes Levi and Eren are idiots, but I actually love this chapter and not even because there is smut (;
> 
> So please enjoy, leave a review or fav/follow. Everything is appreciated.

“What the hell happened to you?” Armin’s voice rattles through his skull.

Eren peeks one eye out of the mound of blankets he had piled on top of himself last night. Somehow he hadn’t even managed to make it to his bed, and ended up collapsing on his floor, pulling his blankets down on top of him. And that’s exactly how his blonde friend finds him the next morning, pathetically curled up next to his bed.

“It’s too early, Armin. Go away,” He mumbles, pulling the blanket back over his head.

Armin pulls the blankets away, finding Eren still dressed in his clothes from the previous night all crinkled and twisted around his body. “I don’t care how early it is, where the hell did you go last night?”

The concern in Armin’s voice surprises him, he did not expect that Armin would care that he had left the club, the last time he saw him he was dancing with a guy Eren didn’t know. He’d assumed that he would either go home with the guy or just head back to the dorm; he did not think that his friend would be concerned about his welfare. Even so Eren remains quite, not wanting to go into the sequence of events that he was at the centre of last night that unfortunately led to him sleeping on his floor.

“I looked for you everywhere, but you left. Why didn’t you tell me?” The concern in his voice only grows as he continues. “I wanted to ask how the plan went and that’s when I ran into Erwin, who told me that you had run out of the club.”

He sits up quickly at the mention of the tall blonde’s name, “You talked to Erwin?”

Armin is taken aback by the direction of the conversation, “What? Yeah, like I said I ran into him.”

“What did he tell you?” Eren’s voice comes out hurried and anxious.

“Tell me? He told me you’d run off.”

Eren sits up straighter so he can easily look at his friend’s face, “Did he say why?”

Armin raises an eyebrow as he looks over Eren’s face. “He said you went after Levi.”

Eren’s impatience grows as he rises to his knees. He either knows what happened, and is trying to remain coy or he knows nothing, at this point Eren doesn’t care which he just needs to know. “Armin for god’s sake, did he tell you we made out or not?”

Armin’s eyes grow wide at Eren’s words. “You what!?”

Eren blinks, “What?”

“You made out with Erwin?”

He leans back, away from Armin. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No he didn’t tell me! He just said you had run after Levi and not come back. I went out the front of the club to look for you but you weren’t there, so I just came back here.”

“Oh.”

Armin runs a hand over his face, attempting to make sense of what Eren’s words. “Why the hell did you make out with Erwin?”

He’d been expecting the question of course, Erwin was never part of the plan and yet be had become the main part. He feels the need to tell Armin, to tell someone exactly what happened last night, he needs someone to understand him, but as he looks at his blonde friend, at the innocent look in his blue eyes, he once again feels his anger from the previous night rising in him.

“You,” He says the word low and accusing, causing Armin to give him a questioning look. “You’re the reason.”

“What?”

“It was because of you. You handing me drink after drink, getting me so smashed that I had no idea what was happening until it was too late, until Levi -,” He cuts himself off, knowing full well that he realised exactly what was happening and didn’t do a thing to stop it.

“You’re actually blaming me?” The blonde’s tone full of disbelief.

“You with your stupid revenge idea, you told me get his attention,” Eren opens his mouth to continue when Armin angrily cuts him off.

“And you told me you didn’t want to get his attention that way. I took you out to have a good time whether you decided to do anything with someone or not. This isn’t my fault, Eren.” Armin’s tone is like ice as he stares right at his friend, who only sits there gaping at him. Never did the brunette think that his friend would be capable of such a tone, and he hates that it’s directed right at him. Yet even so his anger does not die down, if Armin wants to fight, then Eren will deliver.

“Not your fault? Of course it’s your fault. You put that stupid idea in my head, made me think that it was the only way. What a good friend you are. You get me drunk and then leave me alone in a club to be felt up by any man that deems me decent enough.”

Anger flashes through Armin’s eyes, “What are you, a child? Got you drunk and left you alone in a club? You’re twenty years old for god’s sake; you’re capable of taking care of yourself. I’d have thought you’d have enough common sense to not allow people to take advantage of you, if that’s even what it was.”

“Why does everyone think I’m some stupid child who doesn’t understand anything?”

“Because when things don’t go your way, you act like one.”

“Or because I have such crappy friends, that don’t do anything to help,” Armin remains quite, how could Eren think that? “And now Levi’s pissed off and I don’t have a clue what to do.”

So Levi is pissed at him, and yet here he is in his own dorm room blaming everyone but himself. He takes a step closer to his friend, yet still leaves a considerable amount of space between them. Eren looks up, half expecting Armin to console him, not that he deserves it. But the blonde’s next words leave him speechless.

“You’re being pathetic, Eren. Levi is mad at you because of something you did and you choose to wallow in self-pity. Grow the fuck up. If you want to make things right, then go do something about it. But don’t blame other people for your own stupid mistakes.”

He can’t think of a reply before Armin has left his room, slamming the door behind him. He stares at it for a minute before his eyes drift to his desk where a steaming mug of fresh coffee is sitting. Armin brought him coffee and Eren went off at him. God he’s such an asshole.

~~.~~

He doesn’t make an appearance in the common room until later in the afternoon.

He’d been hoping that he could get in there, grab some food and quickly leave without anybody seeing him, but of course even before he rounded the corner he knew he wouldn’t be that lucky. He walks straight past Jean and Marco sitting on the couch in the common area, they shift away from each other when they hear him approach and he makes a note to deal with that situation later. He enters the kitchen only to see Sasha and a particular blonde that he doesn’t want to see. Not after what he did this morning.

Armin turns his head, hearing someone approach only to turn back around quickly when he notices Eren. He remains standing in the doorway awkwardly for a second before walking to the fridge.

“Good afternoon, Eren” Sasha’s cheerful voice greets him.

He grabs a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and turns to face her. “Hey Sasha,” Pause, “Hey Armin.”

Armin does not acknowledge him, which leads to Sasha looking between the two boys with hesitant curiosity. “I feel as if I’m missing something here.”

“No Sasha, it’s fine,” Armin speaks, smiling kindly at her.

She doesn’t look convinced but still turns casually towards the brunette. “So Eren, how are things going with Levi?”

He almost chokes on his mouthful of orange juice, as he shoots an accusing glare at Armin. Did he tell her? “W-What?”

“I heard that you two were becoming a thing or something? I think that’s great, Levi is a hard guy to get to know, but he can be really nice. It’s good that you two have each other,” She smiles at him, completely oblivious to the most recent development in his and Levi’s relationship.

“Oh, ah,” He glances at Armin, who’s looking at him curiously, his previous anger no longer in his bright eyes.

“So are you two official or?” She asks, prying.

Why does she suddenly care so much? Did Armin actually end up telling her what happened?

“Why do you ask?” He asks slowly, watching her face for any reactions.

She smiles again, though something about it looks off. “I was just curious, because the guys told me you were with Levi, but that didn’t seem to be the case last night.”

His eyes widen, “What do you mean?”

“Oh I’m sure it’s nothing, I just thought I saw you with Erwin at the club last night,” She shrugs, as if brushing the idea off.

Jean and Marco choose that exact moment to walk into the kitchen.

“Eren and Erwin? Since when?” Jean asks, looking Eren over.

“Since never,” He snaps.

“Oh Eren, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up, just you two seemed really close on the dance floor I just..” Sasha trails off apologetically.

“Wow, Eren. I thought you were with Levi,” Jean says, snidely.

“I am with Levi!” He yells, causing the others to fall silent.

“Eren,” Armin finally speaks up, though in a tone that makes Eren feel so small, as if he were merely a child.

The brunette snaps his head up to look at his friend, hoping to find his concerned face but only finds a blank stare. The three others turn towards Armin to hear what he’ll say next, but he remains quiet, and somehow that’s worse. Because Eren knows he’s right, he is not with Levi, never has been for that matter, and now he’s not so sure he ever will be. All eyes drift over to him as if they all know they’re missing some vital bit of information, and they couldn’t be more right. He turns away from them placing his hardly touched orange juice back in the fridge and begins to make his way past them all out of the kitchen.

“Hey Eren, where are you going? We have a shift in half an hour,” Marco’s voice carries out after him.

“Yeah, I’ll see you there,” He yells back, walking straight out of the building.

Where he’s going he’s not exactly sure, but anywhere will be better than in that kitchen under the scrutiny of his friends eyes. His legs carry him swiftly in the direction of the library; he doesn’t want to go back into the dorm to grab one of his books, so he’ll go to the library and just borrow one of theirs. That’s what he needs right now, the familiarity of the ink on the page. He needs something to take his mind off things. He makes it to the library, heading straight to the second floor and heading over to the novel section where he picks up the first one he sees. He checks it out and head back down into the quad. He stands around deciding where to go next as he reaches into one of his pockets, to his amazement he finds a five dollar note and heads towards the other café on campus.

He orders a coffee and sits down at a corner table and opens his book. He’s only a few pages in when he hears the familiar high squeal of Petra, and sighs setting his book down. He lifts his gaze in her direction, only to see her dark haired companion is none other than Levi. He lifts his book back up quickly, opening it up to some random page and ducks down, hiding his face from sight. He hopes they’ve just come in for some take away and they’ll be gone in a minute, but to his horror they order and sit down a few tables away from him. He curses under his breath and slinks further behind his book. The waitress brings him his coffee and he thanks her, not taking his eyes of the pair. He moves the book down slightly so his eyes can look over the top, thankful that neither of them are looking his way. He watches as Petra giggles at something Levi says, her hand comes to rest on his thigh as she laughs, Eren half expects Levi to remove her hand immediately, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t do anything as she casually inches it higher, as if the movement was done subconsciously.

Eren’s anger flares up again, having come here to get away from all the shit at the dorm and then to have this shoved in his face. How could Levi move on so easily? Though of course he knows the answer, Levi was never into him to begin with. Of course that’s the reason, Eren is so stupid. Petra leans into Levi’s side to whisper something to his ear; he nods slightly though his eyes are fixed somewhere else. Eren assumes they’re making plans for later and suddenly he can’t take it anymore. He stands up, shoving his chair back roughly, cringing slightly as it scrapes against the floor. All eyes look over to him, but he is only concerned about two. He meets the grey eyes of Levi, who is staring at him curiously, but Eren doesn’t care for that at this moment, he walks right over to them and gives Petra’s hand on Levi’s thigh the most disgusted look he can muster.

“You can move on so quickly, can’t you?” He’s not looking for an answer, but yet he stands there wanting to see Levi try and give him one anyway.

Levi stares up at him, eyeing him with slight annoyance. Eren is vaguely aware of everyone’s eyes still on him, but he pays them no mind, he’s only focused on Levi. Until someone clearing their throat slightly, causes him to shift his eyes.

“Excuse me, Eren. But do you think you could move along,” Her voice drops slightly lower as she continues; “You’re kind of ruining my day.”

Levi glances at her quickly with slight confusion, before looking at Eren again, “Can we help you with something?”

God this guy is an asshole.

“No you can’t. I just came over to tell you that you’re an asshole. And Petra I hope you’re happy,” She gives him the fakest smile he’s ever seen, and then he turns on his heel walking straight out of the café.

He storms across the campus, not bothering to return the book to the library as he heads straight to his dorm building. The sound of footsteps beating behind him registers in his mind, but he thinks nothing of it. He gets to his building, roughly pulls out his key card and opens the door. He starts towards the stairs when he realises that he never heard the door shut, he turns back curious to see what was keeping it open, and finds Levi standing in the doorway breathing deeply, as if he’d just been running.

“What are you doing?” Eren asks, before clamping his mouth shut, annoyance returning to his features.

Levi steps away from the door, letting it swing closed behind him. “What was that back there?”

“I think it was pretty obvious,” He snaps.

Levi takes another step closer to the brunette. “Do you really think that Petra and I are together?”

He gives him a hard stare, inching back up one of the steps. “What else am I supposed to think? She’s running her hands all over you; I’d have thought it was pretty straight forward.”

“You’re too hot headed, Eren Yeager. I can’t believe you actually think that I would be with her, not one day after everything that happened with you,” Levi’s eyes are hard and angry.

“So you’re saying you’re not with her because of me?” He says it slowly, not wanting Levi to misunderstand.

Levi stares at him for a moment before sighing, “I don’t see Petra that way, not anymore. But yes you are the main reason.”

Eren runs his hands through his hair, “Why are you doing this?”

“I told you we were just having fun, I didn’t say that I didn’t want to see you. You decided that when you walked out of my dorm,” Levi replies quietly, glancing to the right and spotting Eren’s friends ducking back out of sight. Of course they would be eavesdropping.

“Well I don’t want to just have fun, Levi. Okay! Are you happy? I said it. I don’t want to have fun with you, I want all of you,” The words come out of his mouth before he has a chance to stop them, but as soon as they remain hanging in the air between them, he knows that he doesn’t regret it.

“Eren, I-,” Levi starts, but Eren cuts him off.

“No stop talking. Just listen to me for a second. I mean none of that matters now anyway,” He looks up at Levi with the same hard eyes. “You just don’t get it, do you? You think that you’re this great guy with good looks that everyone fawns over. You think that I’m going to break into pieces on the floor because you’ve rejected me? Don’t be so fucking arrogant.”

“Eren -,” He tries again, where was all of this suddenly coming from? Was it not less than ten minutes ago that Eren stormed out of a café because he saw him with someone else? Was he not in his dorm room last night begging for him to understand what happened between Erwin and him?

His mind is still reeling as Eren continues,

“You think that I need you, as if I couldn’t find someone who interests me just as much.”

Levi opens his mouth again, but Eren still doesn’t give him a chance to speak.

“Is it fun for you to toy with people? Is it fun to watch me become the laughing stock to the people I know because I showed interest in you and you didn’t have the fucking human decency to either reciprocate my feelings or tell me to fuck off. I’m the punch line to a joke that has been told one too many times.” He yells.

Levi’s eyes grow harder with every word that flies out of Eren’s mouth. This guy is so fucking dense, it’s infuriating. He suddenly steps forward and begins to ascend the stairs, pulling Eren along behind him with a tight grip on his wrist. “Just shut up for a minute, will you.”

“Which room are you in?”

Eren’s too surprised by the question to do anything but mumble, “419.”

They reach his door quickly and Levi is suddenly shoving him inside, he stumbles on the pieces of clothing littering his floor, before the back of his legs collide with the edge of his bed, which he uses to steady himself. Levi stands in front of him, physically shaking with anger.

“I get it okay. Don’t you see that? I know I’m an asshole. I get that I hurt you. But honestly, you freak me out.” He spits, as if the words taste vile on his tongue.

“What?” It’s the only word he can manage to muster.

“Look, I’ve never done this before. You came into my life like a fucking whirlwind that I had no hope of stopping. You knocked down everything in your path just to get to me, and I don’t understand why. I wasn’t ready for you.”

He looks down, “But you can’t keep doing this Eren,” He lifts his head, meeting Eren’s gaze, “You can’t keep changing your mind like this. If you want me then work for it, don’t yell at me for not caring enough and then tell me that you don’t need me. Honestly, I have no idea what you expect from me.”

Though Levi’s words make perfect sense, Eren still feels his anger rising at the shorter man. He always has to be rational, the voice of reason and for some reason that infuriates him.

“I expect you to act like a fucking human being. I expect you to care!” He yells, shocking the man.

“You just contradicted what you just said,” Levi says bluntly, further angering Eren.

“This! This is why I’m doing all this, because you have to turn everything into some kind of joke. You have no idea how frustrating it is. You say I’m contradicting myself? I don’t know what you want me to do!” He runs his hands roughly through his hair, causing the strands to point in every direction. “For fucks sake Levi, I want you okay. I want you!”

Eren barely registers the “Shut up” that Levi growls at him, before Levi’s mouth is against his and his back is hitting the mattress. He lets out a grunt at the sudden contact, staring wide eyed as Levi lands on top of him, straddling his slim hips.

He breaks his lips away from Levi’s assault, “W-What?”

“I said shut up,” The growl remains in Levi’s voice, as he presses his lips to Eren’s again.

He tries to go along with it, but the surprise from Levi’s actions leaves him startled, unable to do anything as he lies underneath the man unresponsive. Levi becomes inpatient, shifting himself off Eren slightly so he can move his hands down to Eren’s pants. He makes quick work of the button and fly, pulling it down swiftly and palming his hands against Eren’s dick, which is already growing hard despite the younger man’s confusion. As soon as Levi’s hand slips underneath Eren’s boxers his mind snaps back into place as he allows Levi to stroke him, moaning in satisfaction.

Levi not two strokes in suddenly feels his knees being lifted away from the bed and just registers that Eren is now on top of him, as his back hits the bed. An ‘ooft’ escapes him before he can stop it, as he stares up at Eren with a smirk, curious to see what he’ll do next. Eren wastes no time, removing Levi’s pants completely and sits back for only a second to admire Levi clad in only his tight fitting shirt. The smirk on Levi’s face angers him, and in retaliation he grabs a hold of Levi’s dick, grasping it tightly in his hand and begins to stroke up and down, perhaps a little more forcefully than the older man would have liked. Surprisingly Eren hears a string of moans leaving Levi’s mouth as he thrusts up into his hand. The fact that he can make the usually indifferent man moan like this gives him a pleasure that flows through his entire body, he wants to hear more of that sound. He removes his hand completely, which causes Levi to stare up at him with curiosity. He watches as Eren, with only a small amount of reluctance begins to lower his face towards the erection in front of him. He grabs the base tightly with his hand, as Levi let’s out a grunt, and flicks out his tongue to the tip, seeing what kind of reaction he can get from him. Levi shudders slightly, but otherwise shows no reaction. Eren remaining determined takes the head fully into his mouth and sucks, which elites a pleasant groan to escape Levi’s mouth. He doesn’t stop there and slowly lowers his mouth, taking more and more of Levi in. He feels it hit the back of his throat, and relaxes against the intrusion. He hollows his cheeks and moves up and down, he feels himself hardening more hearing the sounds that constantly leave Levi’s slightly agape lips.

He’s just coming back up to the tip when he feels two hands in his hair, pulling tightly at the strands and moving his face back down. He almost chokes this time as Levi’s dick hits the back of his throat, having had no time to relax. Levi begins to thrust roughly into his mouth, leaving him with no choice but to try and do the best he can with Levi’s movements.

Levi’s hands tighten in Eren’s hair, holding him more firmly with each movement of his hips. He can feel his muscles tightening as he gets closer to his release, he knows he should pull back. But the feeling of Eren around him is too much to resist. He continues to trust, feeling his stomach muscles coil tightly and without any warning but a long deep groan, he cums straight into Eren’s waiting mouth, who to his fascination waits until he’s finished before lifting his mouth away and swallowing everything as he wipes the corner of his mouth with a smirk.

Levi sits up against the headboard, his shirt feels disgusting as the already tight material is practically a second skin drenched with sweat as it clings to his chest.

“Fuck,” He breathes out, as he gets his breathing back under control.

He looks at Eren who is still crouched down on his torso, looking up at him with lust clouded eyes. He’s already tired from having cum once, but still he peels his shirt off his body and flings it across the room. He beckons Eren with his finger, he’s going to do this quick and dirty. As soon as Eren is straddling his hips, he removes his shirt completely before grabbing the man’s hard dick, wrapping his hand around it and stroking at a fast pace. Eren’s head rolls back as he moans, feeling the pleasure all the way through his body. Levi doesn’t slow as he begins to grow hard again, feeling Eren thrust slightly against him. The friction of them rubbing together causes low moans to escape each of their mouths as they stare right at each other. Eren leans down against Levi’s chest, latching onto his collarbone and nipping; Levi groans and quickens his pace on Eren, who lets out a noise that closely resembles a whimper.

Levi reaches into the top draw next to Eren’s bed, not at all surprised to find a half empty tube of lube in there. He smirks as he squeezes a decent amount onto two fingers and begins to trail his hand lightly down Eren’s back. He reaches his ass and kneads gently, trying to get the man to relax; he slows his strokes on Eren, so he doesn’t cum too soon and pokes his fingers at his entrance. He doesn’t give Eren any time to tense up again as he thrusts the first finger in quickly, causing Eren to yell out in surprise. He begins to thrust his finger immediately, watching Eren closely as he writhes above him. Once satisfied he adds a second finger and thrusts them both together, curling them up into his prostate, causing Eren to scream in pleasure. Levi had stopped moving his hand on Eren’s dick, but the brunette continues to thrust his hips up into Levi’s still hand in an effort to get as much pleasure as possible.

Levi smirks at the flush and light sheen of sweat on Eren’s skin, “You’re a greedy little shit aren’t you?”

Eren only moans in response as Levi removes his fingers. The brunette lets out a whimper at the loss moving himself against Levi, trying to get any sort of friction. Levi was going to add a third finger but the look of Eren moaning, practically getting himself off against him is too much to resist. He grabs hold of Eren’s hips with both hands, lifting him up slightly. He grabs the base of his own dick, now fully erect and throbbing, and places the tip against Eren’s entrance. The younger man moans lowly, trying to move his body down onto Levi on his own. Levi could tease him, but watching at Eren tries to thrust himself down onto his dick makes something inside him snap. He gives him no warning as his grip on his hips tighten and he thrusts up at the same time he pulls Eren down and enters him fully in one go. A small whimper of pain leaves Eren’s agape lips at being entered so suddenly, but Levi pays it no mind, instead pulling out and repeating the movement over and over again. Eren’s hands clutch at the air as Levi pounds into him, until they finally come to rest on Levi’s arms. His nails digging into his skin should have been painful, but the tightness of Eren around him throws all other thoughts from his mind.

He can feel the muscles in his abdomen contracting again as his release once again builds. He puts a hand back on Eren, stroking him roughly as he relentlessly thrusts into him, hitting his prostate on every entry. Eren’s back suddenly arches, as a loud moan leaves his lips echoing through the room as he cums all over Levi’s hand and stomach. Levi’s face twists into disgust at the sticky substance on his skin before he groans, releasing into the body above him. Eren moans again as he feels Levi shoot his release into him, before he collapses onto the man’s chest, breathing deeply.

They stay like that for a few minutes, both trying to catch their breath, before Levi pulls out and Eren collapses onto the tiny bed beside him. Levi turns his head, looking over at him still in a daze and watches as a dopey grin stretches across Eren’s face. He raises an eyebrow in question.

“We should fight more often,” Eren says between breaths, his smile never leaving his face.

Levi lets out a clipped laugh, “I’m sure we could manage that without fighting.”

He stands up, gracing Eren with a full view of his naked body glistening with a light sheen of sweat. Levi glances around the room looking for one item in particular before he turns back to Eren, who’s blatantly staring at him.

“Do you have a towel?”

It takes a second for the words to register in the brunette’s brain before he’s pointing to his desk, where a pile of crumped clothes reside. Levi looks at the pile with distaste before digging through it and finding what he’s after. He wraps the dark blue material around his waist and walks to the door.

“Are you coming or not?”

Eren’s eyes grow wide, before he’s tripping out of the bed scrambling after Levi who’s just exited the dorm. He stops at the door realising his current situation.

“Levi,” He whispers, hiding the bottom half of his body behind the doorframe.

He turns back, a smirk already plastered on his face, “What is it?”

“You took the towel; I’m not going out there naked.”

He shrugs, before carrying on his way, “Well suit yourself then, I’ll just go shower by myself.”

Eren thinks for only a second before he’s speed walking after him down the corridor, doing the best he can to cover his bits with his hands. When they enter the bathroom he lets out a sigh of relief from having not seen anyone. He doesn’t know what he would do if Armin or even worse Jean rounded the corner and saw him butt naked in the hall. Levi removes the towel, hanging it up on a hook and walks into one of the showers, leaving the curtain open so Eren can see him as he adjusts the temperature of the water before stepping under the flow.

“Are you just going to stand there staring?” He asks, leaning his face slightly away from the stream to see the brunette.

Eren snaps out of his trance quickly and joins Levi under the water, the stall is perhaps a little too small for the both of them, but that doesn’t seem to matter. He watches as Levi lathers himself with the soap, ridding his body of the mess Eren created on it earlier. The man isn’t even touching him and Eren is in bliss as he begins to mimic Levi’s actions on his own body.

~~.~~

They’re dried off and back in Eren’s tiny bed ten minutes later, the room around them dark as they’ve managed to find a somewhat comfortable position to sleep in for the night. Levi lies on his back, his arm outstretched against the pillows, with Eren’s head resting on his bicep. Eren thought it might be more comfortable to spoon but after the angry reaction he got from Levi when he wrapped his arms around his waist made him question his own judgment.

He lies there, staring up at the ceiling as Levi’s slow breathing sounds in his ear, he knows the man is awake but he’s not sure how to go about asking his next question without making him angry. He thinks it might be better to just allow him to sleep. And he’s going to do just that until he senses Levi has turned his face towards him, can feel his eyes staring a hole into his head.

“What’s got you thinking so loud?”

Eren shifts his eyes up to Levi’s face; he can only just make out the hard shine in Levi’s grey eyes, just enough to know that he needs to come up with an answer.

But he can’t say what he’s thinking about, no it would ruin this whole thing. He still sighs, knowing that it’s better to be open with him, so things don’t come back to bite him later.

“Don’t hate me for asking, but what are we now?”

Levi takes in a sharp breath still staring down at him, for once at a loss for what to say. An unnerving smirk twists Eren’s features, which puts him on edge. What is he thinking?

“So can I call you boyfriend then?” Eren asks, growing bolder with his words.

Levi’s eyes harden further. “If you call me boyfriend, I will rip it off,” He responses, as if to inforce his words he puts his hand tightly around Eren’s dick. As if Eren needed the clarification, he supresses a moan at Levi’s touch, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. He smirks again instead, challenge in his eyes.

“Oh I think I’m gonna call you boyfriend.”

When Levi’s hand tightens around him, causing him to finally release his pent up moan, he knew he’d made the right choice.


	19. Fired?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Sasha walk in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to upload this this morning but I ran out of time to proof read it last night and then today was super busy and then I didn't feeling like going over it, but I finally just made myself do it, so you guys can have an update. 
> 
> I hope you are all still enjoying the story, I know it's moving quite slowly and nothing of that much value has happened yet, but fear not! Because it will be picking up soon. I have sooo much planned.
> 
> Anyway enjoy the chapter and as always leave a review or fav/follow, everything is appreciated.
> 
> And have a good Christams everyone (:
> 
> (Oh and there is smut ahead, just a heads up)

Eren wakes up tangled in the sheet on his very cold, empty bed.

He opens his eyes slowly and looks carefully around the room. His clothes are strewn all over his floor, left exactly where they must have landed in his and Levi’s frenzy last night. His mind is still clouded with sleep as he gazes down at the mattress beside him expecting to see the still sleeping form of Levi, but he is met with nothing but empty bed. He rubs at his eyes tiredly, ridding them of the sleep that had collected  in the corners of them over night. He scans his eyes over the clothes piled on his floor but find nothing that doesn’t belong to him.

Was Levi never there at all?

Was it all just a dream?

He pulls the sheet away from himself now noticing how the thin material clings uncomfortably to his skin. He stands up; pulls the first items of clothing he finds on before running his fingers through his tousled hair. Levi had to of been here, he wouldn’t just make something like that up, he’s not that obsessed with the guy. Even so he puts the thought out of his head, grabs his phone off his desk and heads down the stairs. He has a shift at the café to get to, but he may as well stop for some toast or something before he heads off.

He walks into the kitchen and without a single glance towards anybody who may be currently in the room heads straight to the cupboard to grab the bread.

“Well good morning, sunshine,” A voice sounds from behind him.

He lifts his head up quickly, almost knocking it on the shelf above him and whips around.

“W-Wha?” Is all he manages to stutter out as he stares at Levi sitting at the breakfast bar with a cup of hot tea and a paper in front of him. Levi stares back, his light eyes sparkling with amusement.

Eren lifts his hand, pointing weakly at the man as if it would give him any clue as to what was happening. “What are you doing here?” He blurts out, automatically shutting his mouth once he realises how stupid that sounded.

Levi raises an eyebrow as he takes a slow sip of his tea.

“Am I missing something here?” Another voice sounds from beside him and he moves his head to the side, seeing Jean leaning against the counter with his own mug of coffee.

“He, ah-. What? I thought you left?” Eren stutters out, ignoring Jean’s question. He’s still pissed at the guy.

Levi lowers his mug, his expression changing from amusement to concern as he takes in Eren’s flustered state. “Why would I leave?”

“I don’t know. I just woke up and you were gone.”

“You really thought after everything I would just leave?” A hurt look crosses Levi’s face before he masks it with his normal blank expression.

Eren opens his mouth to reply when Jean cuts him off.

“You know what; this conversation seems kind of private so I’m just going to go to class. See you two love birds later,” He picks up his bag and begins to head for the door.

“I need to speak with you later, Jean,” Eren says, not once taking his eyes off Levi’s.

“Yeah, whatever Yeager,” And then he’s gone.

Eren sighs, his eyes softening. “I’m sorry; I don’t know what I thought.”

Levi eyes him for a few more seconds before they drift back down to the paper in front of him. The action angers Eren, why can Levi not voice his thoughts? Why does he have to be so god damn closed off all the time? He moves closer to the bench, leaning his arms upon it and staring as he waits for Levi to look at him, when he doesn’t Eren smirks slightly.

“You know if you stay in bed in the mornings we can continue where we left of the night before.” His tone remains innocent, as if he’s completely oblivious to the meaning of his words.

Levi’s eyes lift up to meet Eren’s, he blinks slowly as the words register in his brain. “Is that a fact?”

He pushes himself away from the bench and Levi, as if suddenly dismissing the whole thing “Yep, but it can’t be helped I suppose. Seems you had more important things to do this morning.” He shrugs moving towards the door.

Levi swivels around on the chair, watching Eren’s every move as he makes his way to the exit. “Have I missed my chance?”

Eren makes the mistake of looking back at him. Sees Levi’s lustful eyes looking over his body. He gulps slowly realising that if he doesn’t leave now he’s not getting away. Even so he allows his hormones to get the better of him, it’s Levi Ackerman after all the guy he’s been lusting over for months. He walks slowly over to him, each step deliberate and calculated as he watches Levi carefully. He reaches him in three steps, easily sliding between Levi’s legs that the man had parted slightly for their convenience.

“Not just yet,” He whispers, tilting Levi’s chin up slightly and placing his lips against his, his tongue quick to slide over Levi’s lips silently coaxing the man to part them. He parts his lips slightly allowing Eren to deepen the kiss. He regrets it immediately of course, Eren still hasn’t seemed to grasps the art of kissing. So instead he cuts it short, if only for the sake of saving his lips for being assaulted with teeth. He moves his head to the side allowing his lips to graze over the skin of Eren’s neck; the brunette lets a small moan escape his throat much to Levi’s amusement. The guy is so sensitive. He bites down slightly, not enough to break the skin but enough to make sure Eren feels it. He responds by thrusting his hips into Levi’s, causing him to feel the prominent bulge contained by his tight jeans.

He lets out a whimper as Levi presses his hand firmly against it, causing Eren to squirm against him in an effort to get Levi to move. Levi obliges pressing harder against him, as he begins to move his hand in slow circles. Levi lets out a low growl as Eren’s fingers now resting on his shoulder blades dig into his skin through his thin sweater. He undoes the button on Eren’s jeans and slides the zipper down quickly before his hand disappears under his black briefs. Eren lets out a loud groan as Levi’s hand connects with his flesh, circling around him and continuing with his firm strokes. He leans back in the chair, bringing his free hand up to cover Eren’s mouth.

“Shh, we don’t need anybody hearing you.”

He stares up at Eren as he leans the top of his body against him, his face red and flushed, his eyes clouded with barely contained lust. He’s the prettiest Levi has ever seen him. He slides his fingers over the tip, causing Eren to let out another groan that causes Levi to tighten his hand around his mouth, as he begins to move his hand faster, Eren thrusts his hips forward in time to meet him.

“Fuck, Leevvi,” He whines, his breath coming out in short bursts as he nears his release.

Levi flicks his wrist, once more working his way to the tip and Eren comes undone, releasing himself into Levi’s hand and his own pants. Eren moves back slightly so he can place his forehead against Levi’s as both of their breathing patterns return to normal. He has his eyes closed, but he can practically feel Levi’s stare burning into his head. He’s so caught up in the moment that he doesn’t hear the shuffling of footsteps moving towards the kitchen. Towards them.

In fact he’s just about to move back when a startled cry pierces his ears.

“Arrgh! What the fuck are you two doing!?”

Eren whips his head to the side so fast he almost topples away from Levi. Sasha stands in the doorway bag dropped to the floor with her mouth hanging open in shock. He doesn’t know what to do, he just stares back, very aware that his jeans have fallen halfway down his arse and Levi’s hand still wrapped securely around his dick.

“Uh,” He starts, there is no way any of them can get out of this situation unscathed. At least he’s sure he can’t.

“Good morning, Sasha,” A completely composed voice greets from underneath him.

He moves his eyes from Sasha to Levi, and god dammit the guy is actually smirking. Levi slowly removes his hand from underneath his pants and casually wipes it on the paper he was reading before this happened. Eren takes the opportunity to quickly scramble away from him and do up his pants. Sasha picks up her bag from the floor and begins to walk into the kitchen again straight towards the kettle.

“So is this going to be a regular occurrence now then?”

“W-What?” Eren stutters out, is she joking?

“Do we need to make up some kind of call so we know when this is happening?” She turns back to Eren, amused. “I mean, as pretty as you boys are, I don’t particularly want to make this a regular occurrence.”

“No, I don’t, ah,-,” God dammit, why can’t he form a damn sentence?

“I apologise for this, Sasha. I don’t know what came over him. He practically attacked me,” Levi says his tone completely serious.

Sasha laughs in response.

“Levi?” He asks, looking over at him with uncertainly.

Levi moves his gaze to him. “Honestly, Eren Yeager, this cannot happen again.”

He looks up at Sasha who is staring at the two of them, her eyes sparking with laughter; before he looks back down at Levi whose eyes are almost a mirror image of Sasha’s. He throws his hands in the air moving away from the two of them.

“Fuck you guys. I have to get to work.”

He walks out of the kitchen quickly, leaving the two of them laughing behind him.

He makes it to Sixty Degrees half an hour late for his shift. He sighs; placing his wallet in his designated spot and grabs his apron off its hook. He’s just tying it around his waist when Eld walks in.

“So you decided to show up after all,” He’s not even looking at Eren as he grabs a tube of coffee cups from one of the boxes against the wall.

“I am scheduled to work today, aren’t I?” He asks, hoping that he’s got the correct day.

“Oh so your scheduled shifts matter to you now?” Eld says, finally looking up at him with annoyed eyes.

“What?”

“Where were you yesterday?”

“Yesterday?” Should he really tell him boss the reason for his not showing up? That would most definitely be a horrible idea. But even so he considers it, if only to see Eld’s reaction. Perhaps it’s due to being around Levi for the time that he has because something in him has him feeling bold this morning.

“I was having sex.”

A vein in Eld’s forehead makes its self-known as he processes Eren’s words. “You what?” When Eren makes no move to repeat himself he continues. “So you didn’t show up yesterday and you’re late this morning, because you were having sex? Tell me you’re kidding.”

“Nope,” He replies casually, popping the p.

Eld’s anger grows though he fights hard to keep it well contained, he doesn’t want to physically lash out at the boy for his indifference. Instead he draws in a calming breath.

“Huh, well I hope it was mind blowing because you’re fired. Now hang your apron back up and get out of my sight.”

Eld walks back out to the front of the café without another word. Shock runs through Eren’s body as he remains standing there with his hand gripping his apron tightly, not sure what he’s supposed to do now. He waits a few minutes more as he tries to process what just happened, he knows Eld isn’t going to come back out so he removes his apron and chucks it back on to the hook as he walks out.

He hangs his head low as he stalks across the campus back to his dorm. He kicks a small rock out of his path and watches it as it sails just above the pavement until it hits a seat just off to his right. He looks up slightly and immediately wishes he hadn’t as his stomach flips as his brain recognises who the blonde head of hair in front of him belongs to. He’s tempted to quickly go around him, but he knows that no matter what he does the man will recognise him and he has no doubt in his mind that he is waiting out here for him. So with a heavy sigh he walks up to the man, who’s still got his back to him and taps on his shoulder.

“Erwin?”

The tall man turns around as Eren removes his hand. “Oh Eren, hey. I was hoping I would find you around here.”

“What do you want?” It comes out harsh and accusing.

“What’s with the attitude?” Erwin asks the slight smirk on his face makes Eren’s stomach clench.

“Why are you here?” He asks again.

“I came to talk to you, obviously.”

“And what makes you think that I want to talk to you?” He leans against the bench, trying to say through his posture that he couldn’t give a damn what Erwin has to say.

“You really are hot headed, aren’t you?” He replies, chuckling slightly.

“Get to the point, Erwin.”

“Look, I just wanted to talk to you about that night at the club. Things got out of hand and I understand that - ,”

“You think?” Eren says harshly, cutting him off.

Erwin’s eyes darken as he stares down at him. “You know it takes two, right?”

“I don’t care.”

“Look Eren, I didn’t come here to apologise or anything like that, if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t regret it, we were both drinking, it happened.”

“You knew he was watching,” He accuses.

“I saw him yes. But you can’t deny that you were pretty into it up until that point.”

“I was drunk,” Eren retorts. Sure Erwin is an attractive guy, but at the end of the day Eren only wants one guy and it is most definitely not him.

Erwin tilts his head back and laughs. “If that’s what you’re saying then fine. I just came to make sure we’re all good.”

Eren stares at him like he’s lost his mind. How could he possibly think things are okay? He sighs, not wanting to get into it again today, it’s only nine thirty in the morning and he’s exhausted. 

“Whatever.”

Erwin laughs again at the response. “I’ll see you later then, Eren.”

He walks off before Erwin even has the chance to move.

He just wants to get back to the dorm, back to Levi. Levi will make him feel better.

 

When he enters the dorm building he’s immediately met with voices. He’s walking straight by them towards the stairs when he hears his name. Curiosity getting the better of him he doubles back towards the common room.

“Yeah so I walk in and Eren is practically on top of him, and Levi’s got his hand down his pa-,”

He bursts into the room, his face twisted in horror at what Sasha is relaying to their friends.

“Sasha, what the fuck?” He cries.

She looks up from Hange, Armin and Mikasa who are sitting across from her on the couch waiting expectantly. Her face only shows mild surprise at seeing Eren standing in the doorway.

“Oh hey, Eren. You’re back early.”

“Eren! Come sit with us, it’s story time,” Hange exclaims excitedly, patting the floor by her feet. He remains in place.

“What are you doing?” He repeats.

“Oh come on, Eren. It’s just a bit of gossip, it’s not my fault it’s so juicy and at your expense.”

“Whatever,” He says, walking through to the kitchen and grabbing himself a juice, feeling drained from this morning’s antics. The voices immediately continue.

“Yeah so where was I?”

“Hand down the pants!” Hange pipes up, just a bit too into it.

“Right. So yeah Eren’s pretty much on top of him and Levi’s got his hand down his pants and they’re just kind of standing there, they must have just finished the main event before I got there, but let me tell you it was hot.”

He tunes out after that not wishing to relive what is probably the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to him, easily beating walking around campus with the dick drawing on his face. He grabs his juice and reluctantly walks back out into the common area after a few minutes to join them, taking a seat in the spare chair next to Sasha. All eyes turned towards him.

“What?” He asks, placing the bottle onto his lap.

“Why the kitchen, Eren? Like seriously out of all the places you could have chosen,” Mikasa says, her face showing she’s glad it wasn’t her who walked in on them.

He shrugs, going for nonchalance. “The mood was just right.”

“You’re like a horny teenager.”

He shrugs again.

“So you guys figured things out then?” Armin asks, recalling the yelling match that went on between the two before Levi dragged Eren up to his room.

“Ah, yeah. Everything’s good,” Eren replies, recalling the aftermath of that very same fight. He looks at his blonde friend, still feeling guilty over not making up with him properly and makes a mental note to do so as soon as he can.

“So are you together?” Armin prods, leaning further in his seat for the details. It’s not that he’s still not angry with Eren, but gossip is gossip.

Eren looks down, suddenly feeling anxious over saying it out loud. “Ah, yeah I guess we are.”

“Oh my god, Eren! That’s great. I knew if anyone could tie Levi down it would be you,” Hange squeals, practically throwing herself into Eren’s lap as she hugs him.

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” He replies, though his voice is muffled by her shoulder.

She pulls back to look at the other three, “Pfft, not a big deal he says. You practically stalked him.”

He chooses to ignore her last remark. “Where is he anyway?”

“He left after you did, probably went to class or something. Speaking of, Eren why are you here? Didn’t you say you were late for work?” Sasha asks curiously.

Eren’s words with Eld suddenly come flowing into his mind and he lets out a groan. “Oh yeah about that. Ah, Eld fired me.”

“He what? What did you do?” Mikasa exclaims.

He scratches the back of his neck stalling for time. “I ah, skipped out on work to have sex with Levi.”

Armin and Mikasa stare at Eren with disappointment as the room is filled with Hange’s cackling laughter.

He is going to have to find a way to get that job back.


	20. Action?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Jean makes a move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Wednesday night to you all!
> 
> I hope everyone had a good Christmas (:
> 
> This chapter is only a short one this week, but I feel that is is quite necessary. This chapter focuses on another ship that I'm introducing into the story and I hope everyone is okay with it, because it's my favourite attack on titan ship, behind Ereri of course.
> 
> So yeah this chapter only has a smidge of Eren and Levi, only because Eren can't keep out of other people's business..
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. And as always give it a fav/follow or leave a review (:

Jean’s not one to admit that he’s been having a hard time as of late…

But…

He’s been having a hard time as of late.

Too many things, he’s not sure if he can call them opportunities, have presented themselves in the last few weeks and he’s found that juggling things between his girlfriend and his best friend is proving to be somewhat emotionally exhausting. And it’s not that he wants to be in the position where he could hurt either one of them, he’s just having a hard time letting one of them go.

The main problem is Jean has always been straight. Not, ‘oh I’m kind of curious about that guy, maybe I can see myself with him.’ No every fibre of his being has always been, ‘women women women.’ So of course when he met Marco earlier in the year the guy terrified him. And it’s not like it was love at first sight or anything cheesy like that, nor was it the creepy stalker ‘I’ll follow you up to your dorm room and force myself on you,’ like Yeager. No it was more of an ‘I want to make you happy and spend every second I can with you because that would make me happy,’ sort of thing. But Marco is a guy, and that’s where Jean’s problem lies.

Of course having friends that are gay has never been a problem for him. He’s not homophobic, he just never imagined himself being with one of them. But Marco is different; Marco is his best friend, the one who understands him more than everyone else. Being around him is never like being around a guy; it’s like being around his friend, the one person who he trusts implicitly.

The fact that Marco is gay has never bothered him one bit.

Not until lately.

It’s only been in the last few weeks that Jean has noticed something different in the way he sees Marco. It was subtle at first, just small passing thoughts he had that concerned the way Marco did things, like the way their hands would sometimes connect slightly as they walked. That kind of thing never even crossed Jean’s mind as being anything other than a friendly accident, until lately. It’s just lately he’s wanted to grab the hand that brushes his, to hold it tightly within his fingers and never let go. And the very thought of it excites him almost as much as it terrifies him.

He plans on saying something tonight, because of course he’s noticed the way Marco looks at him when he doesn’t think Jean is looking. He wants to tell him that he feels the same way and yet he’s still scared that the brunette will reject him. Of course he would be let down easy, Marco is not the type to trample all over someone’s feelings so bluntly, but it would be a rejection all the same.

He comes to a stop outside of the dorm building, his nerves hitting him full force as he imagines Marco sitting on that common room couch waiting for him, completely oblivious to what Jean is about to do. He draws in a deep steadying breath and opens the door, heading straight into the room and over to his best friend just like he always does. Marco turns towards the sound of footsteps approaching with a kind smile.

“Hey Jean. The movies all ready to go.” He pats the couch next to him, instructing Jean to sit.

He hesitates for a second looking into the dark eyes of his friend. “Ah, do you think we could do this up in your dorm room?”

A confused expression crosses Marco’s face before he smiles. “Yeah sure. Let me just grab the movie.”

Jean doesn’t wait for him before he’s walking up the stairs to the second floor towards Marco’s dorm. He sits himself on the perfectly made bed, once again thinking the guy is too trusting to leave his dorm room unlocked all the time. Marco appears at the door disc in hand looking at Jean with confusion again.

“Are you in a rush or something?” He enters the room. “If you have something else to do, we can do this some other time.”

“No,” Jean interrupts him before he gets it in his head that he doesn’t want to spend time with him. “No, I just want to watch the movie. So hurry up.” He winks to keep the tone light.

Marco smiles again, setting the movie up for the second time that day and makes himself comfortable on his bed beside Jean. They watch in silence for a while, neither really focusing on the movie but not wanting to clue the other into their thoughts. Until Marco leans back against the pillows, his arm resting on top of Jean’s, the contact of his skin causing Jean’s to tingle in a way that is nowhere innocent enough to be friendship.

And then the feeling overcomes him, and he can’t even blame it on the genre of movie their watching because watching people get chopped to little pieces is in no way a turn on. But Jean just has to do it. He has to kiss him and nothing, no force of nature except for Marco, if he chooses, is going to stop him from accomplishing it. He stars at Marco’s profile, knowing full well that the dark haired man knows what he’s doing. He’s waiting for the brunette to turn to him and ask why he’s not watching the movie and he waits for a while, perhaps Marco is testing him somehow. He’s about to give up and actually focus on the movie when Marco finally turns, an eyebrow lifted up in question. He opens his mouth to speak when Jean grabs his face in his hands and practically head butts the brunette with the force he uses to connect their lips together.

Marco goes rigid in his hands but does not pull back instead allowing Jean to hold his cheeks. After a few seconds Jean pulls back but does not release his face as he stares into his eyes, both their breathing uneven.

“Jean, wha-?” Marco’s eyes are wide, unblinking.

Jean drops his hands to his sides quickly, though his eyes remain fixed on Marco’s. “I’m sorry, I just, uh -.”

Marco lifts his hand up to touch his lips. “A-Aren’t you with Mikasa?”

In the moment Jean had of course forgotten about that little detail, he’d been too consumed with the desire to just kiss him. He hadn’t thought of the effect that would have on his friend. “Yeah technically.” He doesn’t know what else to say. It’s not like he can lie.

“Why would you do this?” Marco stands up from his bed, distancing himself from Jean. “You can’t just go around kissing people when you’re in a relationship with someone.” His eyes frantically scan around the room as if he’s looking for something before he sighs, running his hands roughly over his face. “I’m sorry, Jean, I have to go.”

Jean leans forward on the bed reaching for his friend; his face falls as Marco distances himself further from him towards the door. “Marco, please! Just let me explain.”

“Sorry, Jean. Please just let yourself out,” He says quickly, before he exits his own dorm, leaving Jean behind.

Jean stares at the door for a minute before falling back onto Marco’s bed. How could he have been so stupid? Of course Marco would freak out. Though judging from his words, he can discern that he was freaked out due to Jean still being with Mikasa and not because he kissed him, which he supposes he can take as a plus.

He gets off the bed after a while, figuring he may as well go and straighten things out with Mikasa before she hears about it from someone else and the whole situation gets out of hand.

~~.~~

Why had Jean done that?

Does he not realise the full extent of Mikasa’s feelings for him?

Does he know that she already sees him in her future? Their future?

He thinks back to the day in the café where Eren cornered him, demanding to know if anything was going on with Jean and him and at the time he’d told the truth, there was never anything but friendship between them. But even as Marco said it he knew it was a lie, he knows that Jean was well aware of the way he looked at him, just as he was aware of the way Jean looked at him. It was only until today that anything was ever actually acted upon. Of course he never would have done anything until he knew for sure that Jean and Mikasa were no longer together, but today that choice was taken away from him. And it leaves him with a ball of consuming guilt sitting in his stomach.

He continues to walk away from his dorm room, having no idea of where he’s actually going but needing to be away from Jean, for the moment at least.

~~.~~

Jean makes it down to the kitchen shortly after Marco ran out of the room. He needs to find Mikasa and explain things to her quickly. He rounds the corner and due to either being incredibly lucky or incredibly unlucky he finds her sitting by herself at the breakfast bar. He takes another quick look around the room to make sure no one else was in there before he walks slowly towards her.

“Hey,” He says, attempting to act like his usual self.

She looks up slowly, sees that it’s him and looks back down at the books she was studying. “Hey.”

This is not a good start.

He pulls out the stool beside her and sits down. “Mikasa, we need to talk.”

Her eyes remain fixed on her books as she turns a page slowly. “So now you want to talk?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Perhaps she already knows. No, Marco wouldn’t have told her.

Her eyes harden as she continues to stare at her books, no longer seeing the words written upon the pages. “I thought you would have been too busy with Marco to spend any time with me.”

He places a hand lightly on top of her arm. “Like I said, we need to talk.”

She pulls her arm away from his touch and looks up at him. “Look, if you’ve come down here to break up with me, then please just do it. I don’t want to hear your excuses, or about you finding someone new.”

Of course she is taking this so well, her strength was one of the traits that made him so attracted to her to begin with, but in the end it didn’t matter. It wasn’t enough.

“I really need to tell you, please.”

She sighs. Since she’s known him she’s always had a soft spot for the guy, no matter how arrogant he got. She shuts the book and turns in her chair to look at him. “By all means, if it will make you feel better.”

He breaths in deeply, looking her right in the eye. “I kissed Marco.”

“What!?”

He could have sworn that he heard words but her lips never moved he raises an eyebrow at her before realising she’s not looking at him, but over his shoulder. He stands up quickly, turning around to face the two people who just intruded on Mikasa’s and his private conversation.

“Did I just hear you correctly?” Eren growls angrily from where he stands with Levi at the door.

“You know it’s rude to listen in on other people’s conversations, “Jean fires back.

“Don’t say that to me, Kirstein. You’re a fucking cheater!” He yells.

Jean scoffs. It’s just precious for Eren of all people to accuse him of something like that. This guy can’t even get his thoughts straight enough to just tell the guy he likes that he likes him. Instead he goes the roundabout way of practically fucking his best friend on a club dancefloor to get his attention before ever actually saying anything to the guy he wants to be with.

Eren turns to Levi who looks to be finding the whole situation of no personal interest; Jean only wishes Eren felt the same. “Levi, do something.”

“What?” He asks, surprised that Eren is addressing him of all people.

“I said, do something!” He replies, putting more emphasis into his words.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding? Stop standing there and do something.”

“Why are you getting so mad at me now?” He asks his tone hard as he glares at Eren.

“Because she’s your cousin for fucks sake. Doesn’t what Jean did make you angry?” Eren yells, clenching his fists at his sides.

“She can take care of herself,” He responds, brushing the whole situation to the side.

“Well if you won’t do anything, then I sure as hell will,” Eren steps away from Levi and marches his way over to Jean.

“Eren, can you just mind your own business for once. This is between me an-,”

Jean doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before Eren’s fist is connecting with his cheek. The sound it makes causes Mikasa and Levi to flinch back from the two. Jean stumbles back his hands automatically reaching up to hold his face now throbbing harshly from the pain.

“What the fuck, Yeager?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t deserve it,” Eren spits, holding his now red hand.

“You don’t get to make that call; this has nothing to do with you,” Jean yells back, removing his hand from his face which has begun to turn a shade of red.

“And you have no right to hurt people like this. Mikasa doesn’t deserve what you did!”

And despite his current position, Jean smirks glancing behind Eren at the expression on Levi’s face. The rare look of horror on the short man’s face is something Jean can use to his advantage. “I think you should be more concerned with your own relationship before you start giving people advice on theirs.”

The words hardly register in Eren’s brain as he takes a step towards Jean his fist raised once again. “You want another black eye, Kirstein?”

“Eren Yeager.”

His name is spoken in such an absolute tone that he immediately knows who it is. His fist falters in mid-air though he does not withdraw it. He instead turns his head towards the owner of the voice.

“Levi?”

The expression on Levi’s face is a mixture of anger, disappointment and the tiniest bit of fear and it causes Eren to stop dead.

“Once is enough, don’t you think?”

He immediately drops his arm, knowing that he had gone too far.

He looks around the room at his friends. Mikasa’s eyes filled with worry, Jean’s with pain and Levi’s whose reflect the disappointment Eren feels within himself, causing his heart to clench painfully.

“Somebody had to do something,” He says quietly, though with less conviction as he feels small beneath their gazes.

Though perhaps not that.


	21. Smoking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren pisses everyone off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Wednesday night update, just because. 
> 
> Anyway, I realised the other day that I actually only have this chapter and the next chapter fully written out and waiting for an edit and then after that I literally only have bits and pieces. I've planned everything that is going to happen up until chapter twenty six all that's left to to now is write the damn thing. But of course I have had absolutely ZERO motivation to work on this particular story and have instead smashed out two long chapters for my upcoming soon to be uploaded sourin story. Which really annoys me because I need to finish writing this before I loose all interest and just leave the thing unfinished, which I have been known to do. 
> 
> Sooo, we will be staying on track with an update next Thursday which will be the 14th, and hopefully by then I will have finished at least a chapter or two so I can continue with my one update a week thing I've got going. But in case I get lazy and don't write DO NOT FRET, I will have more chapters out they just might take a little longer.
> 
> So for now Enjoy! 
> 
> As always leave a review, or fav/follow. Everything is appreciated (:

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Eren Yeager?”

The man in question stares wide eyed at his boyfriend. Levi’s hand is tight around his upper arm as he pulls Eren out of the room.

“What? Nothing,” He tries defending himself, he did what needed to be done. He did the right thing. Didn’t he?

“Well if that’s what you really believe, then you need to take another look at yourself,” Levi replies, loosening his hold on Eren before slowly letting go.

Eren rubs absently at the tingle on his skin Levi’s hand left behind. “It’s like I said, somebody had to do something and that somebody should have been you.”

“Why?” He asks again, still as confused as the first time Eren said the same thing, just before he decided to punch Jean.

“She’s your family; I thought family was supposed to protect each other.”

Levi sighs, looking away from Eren. “With stuff like this Mikasa is fully capable of handling herself. Jean’s just a guy after all, and from the looks of it she wasn’t particularly invested in the relationship anyway.”

Eren huffs, Levi just doesn’t get it. “It doesn’t matter, he still cheated. Cheaters deserve whatever karma comes their way.”

Levi whips his head back around and stares at him with hard eyes. “So that’s an excuse to hit someone, because they cheated?”

“I think so.”

Levi shakes his head, unable to fully process the way Eren thinks. “Your way of thinking is so backwards.”

Eren crosses his arms over his chest, his defensive personality making its self-known. “Why? Because it’s different than yours?”

“Don’t do that. Don’t turn on me like this because I’m not telling you what you want to hear.”

“Well I don’t want your opinion,” Eren fires back angrily.

Levi chuckles humourlessly as he turns away. “Whatever.”

Eren watches him walk out of the dorms, no part of him with even a hint of desire to follow. Levi’s in the wrong here, not him. 

He storms back into the room, shooting a glare towards Jean who’s standing off to the side with a blank expression, as if he still can’t fathom what went down in the last five minutes. He makes his way to Mikasa who’s looking at Eren with concern but says nothing.

“Mikasa, are you alright?” He asks her, his voice hard as he tries to keep his temper under control.

She blinks slowly. “I’m fine, Eren.”

The underlying hardness in her own voice makes him question if she means it. Or is she angry over what just happened?

“Okay, well I-,”

He’s interrupted by Jean walking out of the room, the front door to the dorms slamming closed as he exits. Good, he should stay away from her from now on.

“Eren, you shouldn’t have done that,” Mikasa says, the hard edge in her voice still present.

“What do you mean?” Why shouldn’t he have done that?

“Look, Levi is right. You shouldn’t just go around hitting people no matter what they’ve done.”

He feels his earlier anger rising again. “So you’re siding with him then?”

“Eren, there are no sides,” She says, her voice rising in annoyance.

He sighs loudly, how can there be no sides? Of course there are sides. There’s the right side, which of course he’s part of, and the wrong side which is apparently where Mikasa and Levi are both choosing to reside.

“Look Eren, you have no idea how close to home this hits with Levi. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t have taken your anger at Jean out on him as well. You don’t know how fragile your relationship is.”

How dare she assume to know anything about his relationship. He steps closer to her. “You don’t know anything about our relationship.”

“Perhaps not, but I know more about Levi than you, Eren. I’m not telling you it’s not going to work out, all I’m telling you is to be careful.”

He softens his expression, perhaps now is the perfect time for him to get some information about Levi out of her. “Do you really think that this whole thing might just fall through?”

She thinks for a moment, though he can tell from the look in her eyes that she already has her answer. “Honestly, yes.”

He’d expected her to say just that, not one of his friends sees the potential of his and Levi’s relationship but him. Though the conformation she gave him doesn’t make him feel any better.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“If Levi wants to end things than you will find it damn near impossible to change his mind, but he hasn’t done anything like that yet. It’s only early days, Eren. Just don’t go around punching people and going off at him and you should be fine.”

“Yeah, thanks for the confidence,” He mutters under his breath.

She only shrugs.

~~.~~

He’s not sure why he decided to come here of all places, he’s only glad he’d had his wallet in his pocket. He walks up to the counter, glancing around in a way that he hopes comes off as only mild interest, but he’s sure to the outside eye looks borderline suspicious. He’s thankful that there are no other people besides the man behind the desk and himself inside at the moment. It means he can get out quick and be on his way.

He pulls his wallet out of his back pocket as he walks, only now noticing that his hands are shaking slightly. Why is this of all things giving him anxiety? It’s not illegal. The man behind the counter looks down at him with disinterest as he approaches, Eren sees something lurking in his eyes but at the present time he’s more focused on other things. He gets to the counter making sure to keep his hands out of sight so the cashier can’t see how sweaty they are. The man continues to look down at him with a bored expression when Eren remains silent.

“Can I help you with something?”

Eren places a small smile on his face attempting to look friendly and in no way suspicious. “I’d like to buy a pack of cigarettes.” Was that too formal?

The man looks him up and down once more before smiling slightly. “What brand?”

His breath catches in his throat, he hadn’t even thought about there being different brands. He tries to think about the times he’s seen Levi smoking, but not once has he seen the packet that they come in. “Uh, just give me the cheapest one.”

The man says nothing as he turns to the shelf behind him and picks up a packet, placing it on the counter between them. Eren doesn’t even look down at the packet as he hands the guy the money, shoves the packet into his pocket and walks out the door leaving his change behind.

~~.~~

He’s not sure why he did it. He’s not one that would take up the habit to seem cool or anything like that. But ever since that night with Levi, he’s been curious. Sure he knows the risk and the damage it will do to his health, but those facts still aren’t enough to stop them. And it’s not even like he’s thinking about taking up the habit of a pack a day smoker, he just wants to try it. Just once.

He leaves a ball of socks in between his door and the wall, keeping it just slightly ajar. Most of his friends have class right now so he doesn’t have to worry about them coming into see him. He walks over to his window, sliding it to the left as far as the rusty window frame will allow. He grabs the pack out of his pocket and moves to fetch one of his lighters, that he always keeps around just in case, out of his desk draw and heads back over to the window. His bed sits just underneath it and he uses the bedhead to sit on, as uncomfortable as the position is, it will have to do.

He takes one of the sticks out of the pack, holding it up as he inspects it. Well may as well just do it now. He places the end against his lips brings the lighter to the other end and inhales as the flame flickers. It takes a second to catch alight, and when it does he drops the lighter onto his bed and sucks in harder, just how he’s seen Levi do it. The smoke swirls in his mouth for a second, the taste alone almost making him cough it back up, before it travels down to his lungs filling them until he can no longer take it and his breath comes out in harsh sputters, as the smoke filters into the air around him. He watches it for a second, trying to regain his breath as it swirls in front of him before being carried out the open window and disappearing into the fresh air. He looks down at the still burning cigarette between his first and second finger in disgust, how does Levi handle these things? He contemplates putting it out and chucking it out the window before figuring he might as well try one more time, this was his first time after all.

He brings it to his lips again and inhales, the bitter taste once again causing his nose to scrunch up. He breathes out quicker this time, thankful that he does it gracefully. He’s halfway down the cigarette without another incident when he hears footsteps heading down the hall. He panics, quickly putting it out on the windowsill and chucking it to the ground below. He gets off his bed, chucks the packet frantically onto his desk and sprays the space of his dorm with the first can of deodorant he finds. He’s just putting the can back onto the desk and straightening out his shirt when a voice speaks from his the doorway.

“Eren, can I talk to you for a second?” Marco’s quietly asks as he knocks on the dorm door. Eren silently hopes that the spray has successfully hidden the smell of the smoke.

“Sure, Marco. What is it?” He asks, slowly moving a pile of clothes over the packet of cigarettes  on the desk behind him.

“Well it’s what you told me about Jean and Mikasa.” He continues, making his way into the dorm.

“Yeah, what about it?” He asks, leaning against his desk in an attempt to act casual as he looks over at his visitor. He’s surprised to see the anger that’s settled onto his friend’s face, he’s never known Marco to show whatever anger he’s feeling so outwardly.

“I wanted to know why you lied to me,” His voice is hard, causing Eren’ stomach to clench slightly in worry.

He shifts position, fidgeting with a photo frame on his desk in an attempt to appear less guilty. He sifts through his memories silently as Marco stares at him patiently. When would he have lied to him and what would be his reason? Due to recent events his mind goes straight to Mikasa, which in turn leads him to Jean. His stomach clenches again as he remembers the day he’d over exaggerated Mikasa’s feelings towards Jean when talking to Marco in an attempt to get some information out of him. Even so he wasn’t just going to come out and say that he lied.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean, Marco.” He watches his freckled face for any distrust, though to his distain Marco gives him nothing.

He sighs, slightly annoyed that Eren can’t admit when he’s wrong. He’ll just have to give Eren prompts to come clean. “The things you told me about Jean and Mikasa.”

Eren remains quiet, not sure how far Marco is going to go with this.

“I told you how I felt for him, and you lied to me,” He lets out another sigh, heavier this time. “Stop standing there with your eyes wide and tell me why you did it.”

He opens his mouth, not quite knowing how to react to Marco’s anger. “Marco, I -,” He knows no matter what he says it won’t be enough, he lied, and though at the time he believed he had a good reason to, it’s no longer the case. Not when Marco is standing in front of him practically asking Eren what he did wrong as a friend to make it okay to lie to him like that. The worst part is that he doesn’t even feel bad, sure he can see Marco in front of him his anger only displayed to hide the sadness underneath, and yet he can’t bring himself to believe that what he did was wrong. He needed to get information out of the guy, and he did exactly that. He was helping Mikasa out after all. Even so he breathes out a pathetic, “I’m sorry, Marco.” That neither of them believes.

So really he shouldn’t be surprised when Marco snaps. “I didn’t come in here for your apology, Eren. I came in here for your explanation.”

He lowers his eyes, no longer able to look at his friends face. “I needed to know what was going on with Jean. You were the easiest person to get that information from.”

“So you exploited my feelings, so you could get information,” It’s not a question, but Eren still nods.

“You know, Eren. You should really think about the things you do before you decide to do them,” Eren lifts his head again. “You think you can create controversy between your friends and not expect any consequences.” Eren opens his mouth to speak, but Marco silences him. “Don’t get me wrong Eren, I’m not threatening you, and maybe it’s because of the people you choose to spend your time with or maybe it’s something to do with you, I don’t know. But whatever act you’re trying to put on, I’m not a fan.”

“Don’t bring Levi into this,” He snaps his eyes hard.

Marco ignores him, continuing. “Jean told me what happened between you two earlier. This has nothing to do with you, Eren. Please just mind your own business.”

He turns to leave as Eren remains silent processing Marco’s words slowly. What does he mean by that? He’s not trying to be anyone else. Sure he’s a little hot headed, but he never intentionally tries to hurt people. He glances at Marco who is hesitating by the door. He raises a think eyebrow in a silent question, prompting the man to speak.

“I got Eld to give you your job back, so yeah your welcome, or whatever.” He turns to walk away.

He says nothing, the only change being his eyes widening a he processes the information Marco has just given him. Even after what Eren has done, Marco got him his job back?

“Oh and Eren.”

Eren looks back up at his friend still hovering in the doorway as he looks over his shoulder.

“Stop smoking. It’s a filthy habit.”

His stomach turns, as Marco finally walks away.

He moves away from his desk, closing the window before sitting down with his head in his hands. He’s just about to fall back against his pillows and sleep for a week or however long it takes for everyone to stop being mad at him when another voice sounds from his still open door.

“Eren?”

Eren flops down on his bed done with the day, done with his friends. “Just leave it alone, Armin.”

“No.”

He opens an eye to see Armin leaning over top of him. “What?”

“You’re not doing this, Eren. I don’t know what’s wrong with you lately, but it has to stop.”

He sits up, facing his friend front on. Well now is a good as time as any to apologize for going off at him. “Armin.”

The blonde stays quiet, as he waits for Eren to continue.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration on you and I know I shouldn’t have waited so long to apologize, but yeah. I’m sorry.”

Armin sits down next to him, looking at his friend with concern. “What’s going on with you, Eren?”

He puts his face in his hands, his frustration at everything coming back tenfold, and yet he has no desire to talk about it, not even to Armin. He places a smile on his face that he’s sure Armin can see through, and looks at his friend. The smile almost falls when he sees the raw concern crinkling his friend’s otherwise nice face, but he stays with it determined to see this through. “I’m just stressed with school. And I know I’m not dealing with it the right way, but I’m trying. I’ll get there, Armin. I promise.”

He still looks unconvinced as he glances over to the desk Eren had left the cigarettes on. “Were you smoking?”

Eren’s eyes widen, he wasn’t sure how much of his and Marco’s conversation Armin had heard and he’d been prepared to lie, but now that doesn’t seem like an option. “It was the first time and I swear I was only trying it.”

Armin watches his face for a second, it’s not like he was entirely lying after all. “I hope so, Eren. I don’t want you to get into that stuff, not because of Levi.”

Eren’s teeth grind together at the mention of him doing anything because Levi does it, yet he says nothing except. “I promise it was only a onetime thing. They taste like shit anyway.” Well it was half true.

“Okay,” He says, choosing to take Eren at his word. “I’ve got to get to class, I’ll see you later.” And then he’s gone.

He leans back on his bed again, this day and his friends taking more out of him than it usually would. He figures he may as well go make things right with Levi.

~~.~~

Eren stands outside lecture room 19F with an apology rehearsed and ready on his tongue.

He watches the students slowly trickle out before he stops the dark head among the crowd that he’s looking for. He peels himself from the wall he’s leaning against and stands in the man’s view.

“Do you want to go for coffee?” He asks, looking down at Levi as he approaches.

“Now?” His tone is unfriendly.

Eren scratches the back of his head, hoping he doesn’t have Levi’s schedule mixed up. “Yeah, I mean you don’t have class now, do you?”

He’s silent for a moment, as if weighing his options before he sighs, leading Eren out of the building.

They walk through the doors to the café Eren had seen Levi and Petra just the other day. They take a seat as they both look over the menus, neither saying a word.

“What do you want?” Levi asks, and it takes a second for it to register that he’s asking for Eren’s drink order.

“Ah, just a coffee,” He says feeling small under his boyfriends hard gaze.

Levi walks over and orders their drinks before coming to sit back across from Eren. He watches him with sharp, grey eyes, causing him to squirm. He doesn’t think he’s ever going to get used to how intimidating Levi is.

“You stink,” Levi suddenly says, causing all thoughts in Eren’s head to vanish.

“I’m sorry?” He asks slightly taken aback, unsure as to why Levi would say such a thing.

Levi leans forward, sniffing the air around Eren slightly before leaning back in his chair, his forehead creased in anger. “You smell like smoke.”

Eren stiffens, realising what Levi is referring to. In his haste to get out of his dorm before Levi’s class was let out he forgot to change his clothes. “Oh that, I ah-,”

“Were you smoking?” Levi interrupts him.

Eren ducks his head, suddenly finding his fingernails very interesting. “I just wanted to try it.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? You do it, I was just curious that’s all.”

“What about it would make you so curious?” He asks, placing his elbow on the table so he leans closer.

A girl around their age brings over their drinks, yet Levi doesn’t drop his eye contact.

Eren sighs, because what has he got to lose? “You.”

It’s simple enough, yet he feels his cheeks heating up with a blush and takes a sip from his drink in an attempt to hide it.

Levi lets out a humourless laugh, “Seriously?”

“I don’t know okay. Even so, I’m not going to do it again, it was disgusting.”

“Good,” Levi says simply bringing that line of conversation to an end.

They sit in silence for a while before Eren gets the courage to speak up and apologize.

“Listen, about this morning,” He starts, wanting to get this over with quickly. “I’m sorry I took my frustration at Jean out on you, that wasn’t cool. I’m not going to apologize for hitting him, because I think he deserved it, but I apologize for yelling at you.” Yeah, he can be the bigger person.

Levi stares, his steel grey eyes looking at him intensely. He feels the desire to shrink away from them, to drop his gaze and focus on the coffee in his cup, but if he ever wants this relationship to work, he needs to be able to look at him for more than five seconds. Levi’s brows furrow together in what Eren assumes to be concentration, perhaps he’s trying to figure out the right words. Either that or he’s trying to remain calm.

And then his expression changes and he shrugs, “It’s fine.”

Eren stares at him, unconvinced in his ability to just allow this to roll off his shoulders. He was so angry this morning and now he’ acting like it doesn’t even matter. Well it matters to him.

“Don’t do that.”

Levi takes a sip from his tea, remaining eye contact over the lip. “Do what?”

“Act as if none of this affects you. Don’t act like you weren’t pissed at me this morning, don’t just shrug this off. I’m trying to apologize to you, the least you can do is tell me I was wrong,” He leans back in the chair. “Yell at me or something.”

Levi crosses his ankles slowly under the table. “It’s not up to you how I accept your apology. I forgive you for this morning; it’s as simple as that.”

Eren lets out a huff, the frustration of dealing with Levi’s indifference exhausting him. “Okay then.”

Eren didn’t know it then, but there was something wrong with the way Levi accepted his apology so easily. Perhaps he should have thought about it more thoroughly, but the fact that Levi wasn’t angry at him was the only thought occupying his mind.


	22. Eren?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren intrudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Thursday again.
> 
> Sorry for the late upload, I don't know if it's late where you are, but it's a little late here so..
> 
> Anyway the reason for that is that yesterday I was heading back home from my holiday and I was literally up for twenty four hours and didn't want to even think about looking at let alone editing this chapter. But it's here now.
> 
> So like I said last week, this is the last full chapter I have completed at the moment. I'm half way through completing chapter twenty one, so I think it's pretty safe to say that I will be putting that up next Thursday. But after that I'm not so sure, I'll be letting you know next Thursday if there is going to be any major changes to my updating schedule. 
> 
> So enjoy this update (:
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos. As always everything is appreciated.

_June 16 th_

“Levi, we have to go,” A whiney voice sounds from Levi’s bed. Eren breathes deeply as his body comes down from the high Levi had just taken it to. He wasn’t one to oppose the high degree in which Levi seemed to be interested in his body lately, but there’s a small part in the back of his mind that worries that being so physical all the time is causing them to drift emotionally.

“He’s your friend,” Levi’s voice drifts over from the door. He walks into the bedroom running a dark towel through his wet hair.

Eren tries not to take notice of his half naked boyfriend; he will not be swayed on this. “I need to apologize to him,” Though he still takes the opportunity to rake his eyes down Levi’s bare torso. “And we need to leave this dorm sometime.”

Levi smirks at him as he walks across the room to grab a shirt, pulling it over his head. “And what if it’s boring?”

“Then we’ll leave,” He replies simply, as if he would stay through something that made him want to stab his eyes out.

Levi lets out a sigh, now fully changed as he turns back to Eren. “Fine.”

He can’t stop the grin that spreads across his face as he gets up to place a kiss on Levi’s lips. He’s stopped almost as soon as he stands by a hand against his chest.

“Don’t come near me until you shower.” Levi states, chucking a towel over Eren’s face.

A small whine that he didn’t mean to make leaves his lips, causing Levi’s mouth to twitch slightly.

“Hurry up, we wouldn’t want to be late.”

Eren reluctantly walks into Levi’s bathroom, now not feeling the least bit inclined to go and apologize to his friend.

~~.~~

“Oh Eren! You actually showed up!” Armin’s voice isn’t as friendly as Eren would have liked, he guesses Armin hasn’t completely forgiven him like he thought after all.

“I’m here to apologize,” Armin looks at him with his eyebrows furrowed before Eren elaborates. “To Marco.” He doesn’t miss the way Armin’s face drops slightly at his words.

The blonde glances around Eren then to greet Levi.

“Nice to see you here, Levi,” Is it just Eren, or is Armin’s tone dripping with dislike?

Levi turns his grey eyes onto him briefly before glancing away into the crowd. “I’m not here by choice.”

Armin looks between the two of them for a moment, his face contorted in confusion before it smooths out, effectively letting whatever tension was present in the room go. He points behind him further into the room.

“Marco is back there if you want to go say hey.”

Eren nods, walking past his friend and heading straight to Marco. He’s not surprised to find him in the back room sitting with Jean, both of them looking too comfortable with each other for his liking.

“Hey, Marco,” He greets, interrupting the two silently conversing with one another. He purposely ignores Jean, who in turn stares at Eren with dislike. Eren finds himself smiling slightly at the visible purple bruise, just starting to fade into yellow tones, covering the top of Jean’s cheek around his left eye.

“Oh, Eren. You made it,” Marco greets, his usual friendly tone giving way to slight annoyance. Whether it was due to Eren interrupting him and Jean or that Eren was actually there at all he’ll never know.

“Happy birthday,” He says, handing over a cheap card he’d picked up at the convenience store and signed. He’d handed it to Levi to add something, but he’d stuck his nose up at it mentioning something about not being the type to give people cards not worth two shits.

Marco opens it carefully and true to his kind nature smiles up at Eren with a thank you after he reads the words written on it.

“I’m really sorry about how I treated you. I know it was wrong to do so and you’re right I wasn’t going to come clean unless you brought the topic up yourself. I know you said you didn’t want my apology but I’m giving it to you anyway,” He sucks in a breath, as both sets of eyes on him begin to make him feel self-conscious. “I shouldn’t have used you like I did. I’m not sorry for getting myself involved in the whole situation, but yeah, I’m sorry for how I went about things.”

He scratches the back of his neck in an attempt to look not as awkward as he feels. The quiet stretches on for a long time as both Jean and Marco continue to look at him. Eventually Marco sighs and places the card next to him on the couch.

“Thank you, Eren,” Is all he says, but that’s enough. Eren wasn’t expecting anything else.

He shifts uncomfortably on his feet, wishing he didn’t have to ask the next question. “So are you guys together now?”

“Yeah,” Marco replies simply and there’s a look in his eye that’s almost daring Eren to say something about it.

“Okay then. Well I’m going to go get a drink, you guys want anything?” They both shake their heads, holding up the drinks they’re already holding in their laps. “Right, have a good night then.”

“You too,” Follows after him as he goes to find the drinks.

~~.~~

He’s five cheap beers in when he starts to feel bored. He’d come to apologize and now that that was done he can’t think of another reason to stay. The air has been tense all night, with Armin and Marco both keeping him at arm’s length and Levi clearly displaying his disinterest in being there at all. He’s sitting on a couch with Levi and Armin on either side of him when Jean drunkenly gets up on a wobbly table and stumbles his way through a cheesy birthday speech.

“I’d just like to say, Happy 21st Birthday to Marco. I’ve only known you for a little while, but in that time you’ve become probably the most important person in my life. You put up with all my shit over the past few weeks, and I thank you for that,” He pulls Marco up off the couch and onto the tabe with him, for a second Eren always wishes it would fall, and holds him against his side. The blush that spreads across Marco’s face is clear even from back were Eren is sitting. “I also want to thank everyone that’s here tonight; you know Marco has never had a birthday party like this before.” A wave of ‘aws’ sound throughout the crowd. “So to make this party extra special, I’ve invited a guest.”

Everyone turns around to see what Jean is pointing at towards the back of the room. The crowd begins to part as a single person makes their way towards where Marco and Jean are standing. A tune starts up, one that Eren recognizes immediately. He’d heard it weeks ago when he went with Jean and Mikasa to the carnival. He lets out a laugh as the curly coloured hair of a clown comes into view. Perhaps this will liven up the party a little bit.

He’s following the clowns movements when he feels Levi’s hand tighten where it has been resting on his thigh. He turns his head, about to tell him to stop because it hurts when he notices the stricken look on Levi’s pale face.

“Levi, wh-,” He begins to ask, when he’s cut off.

 “What the fuck is that thing doing here?” Levi’s voice is practically a whisper as he speaks.

“Levi, it’s a clown,” He replies, as if it wasn’t obvious.

Levi turns his hard gaze onto him, angry at Eren’s stupidity. “I know what it is. What’s it doing here?”

Eren looks at the clown and then back to Levi, watching closely as Levi follows their every move carefully. “Levi? Are you scared of clowns?” He almost lets a laugh slip.

“Of course I’m fucking scared of clowns,” His voice is louder and barely concealing the fear all over his face. He adds quietly. “I already told you this.”

Eren’s eyes widen at the piece of information, remembering the night he demanded to know why Levi had stood him up at the carnival. He’s had no idea that he was being serious. “Whoa, seriously? I thought you were kidding.”

He didn’t think it was possible, but Levi’s gaze darkens, glaring at Eren like he was ready to slap him. “Do I look like I’m fucking kidding?”

He opens his mouth to respond, when Armin sticks his head around to look at them.

“Is everything okay?”

Eren glances at his friend before turning back to Levi. His face holding the most amount of emotion he’s ever seen on it, and he knows Levi isn’t joking. “I think we’re going to leave actually.”

“What, already?” Armin asks, completely oblivious to Levi’s state.

“Yeah, I think if I stay I’ll end up drinking too much,” It’s not entirely a lie.

Armin smirks, actually smirks. “Yeah, that’s true. I’ll see you guys later then.”

Eren gets up grabbing Levi as he does and heads for the stairs that will take them to his dorm.

As soon as they’re through the door Levi loosens his grip on Eren’s arm before letting go completely.

“Wow, I never thought I’d see you like that,” He comments, turning around with a smirk on his face.

“Don’t expect it to happen again,” Levi spits angrily moving to the desk and riffling through the clutter.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Eren steps behind him wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning his chin on top of his shoulder. “We’re all afraid of something, right?”

The words harmless enough cause Levi to stiffen in his arms. Eren draws back unsure as to what he said wrong.  Levi turns around to face him, his expression showing no insight as to why he was suddenly so tense. Eren looks on unsure of what he should do when Levi sighs, physically relaxing.

“Right.”

“Is something else bothering you?” He asks cautiously.

Levi looks up with dark eyes. “No.”

Eren closes his eyes for a second as he draws in a deep breath. Why Levi’s lying to him, he’s not sure. “Fine,” Is all he can think to say as he turns to the bed. He doesn’t want to have to deal with Levi being his normal closed off self right now. He can feel his eyes on him watching every move that he makes. He strips off his shirt slowly, throwing it on the floor out of sight before stepping out of his jeans, leaving him in just his boxers. He climbs under the covers of his single bed, “Can you get the light.”

There’s shuffling behind him as Levi moves to the door, the lights flick off quickly leaving the room in complete darkness save for the small slivers of light making their way through the spaces between his curtains. The bed dips as Levi gets in, not needing a spoken invitation. Eren rolls over onto his side to face him as Levi stares up at the ceiling.

“Why won’t you tell me anything?” He asks into the darkness. This has always been a touchy subject for them; Eren has felt something off ever since they became official, as if Levi is only doing this for him. And not because Levi himself actually wants to.

Levi’s eyes move slowly to look at him, the expression on his face is almost too much. There is no spark there; his eyes dull from what he can make out in the darkness. “It’s not something you would want to hear.”

Eren sits up, resting his body weight on his elbow as he leans over him slightly. “That doesn’t matter. If something is bothering you, I want to know.”

A heavy sigh leaves Levi’s lips. “Look don’t go crazy or anything, but you’re worrying me.”

Eren leans back slightly, his expression twisted in confusion. “I’m worrying you?”

“Maybe that was the wrong wording,” He sits up so he can look Eren in the eyes on equal ground. “You’re just different than what I thought.” He puts his hand up between them when Eren opens his mouth, silencing him. “Let me finish. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but your actions thus far are concerning.”

“Are you talking about Jean?” Eren cuts him off.

“Partly. I get that you were angry, but you went too far. There is no excuse for what you did, it wasn’t your business.”

He sits up fully, his face twisted in complete disbelief. “I thought we were over this.”

“Stop getting so defensive. You asked, so listen to me when I’m talking to you,” Levi’s voice is harsh.

He shuts his mouth, but can’t stop the roll of his eyes that he’s sure Levi doesn’t miss even in the darkness of the room.

“It’s not just that, you smoked because I do and you were curious.” Eren opens his mouth again, but Levi gives him a hard glare. “Who does that?”

“It’s not up to you what I can and can’t do.”

“It’s not about that. I just want to know who I’m spending my time with. There are so many versions of you that I’ve seen in the last few weeks alone, and I haven’t liked all of them.”

Eren’s sharp intake of breath sounds in the silence between them before he’s stuttering. “A-Are you trying to break up with m-me?”

Levi sits up so fast Eren has to lean back to avoid being head butted. He grabs his face in his hands, looking right into the bright teal eyes that he’s just beginning to love. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just talking.” He sighs again. “We hardly ever talk, about things that matter anyway; I just wanted you to know. You’re one of the only people who has accepted the undesirable parts of me, and for that I feel something towards you that scares the shit out of me and when you act like you do it scares me more.”

He takes in a breath, his expression hardening into something close to pained. He doesn’t blink as grey stares right into teal. “Fuck, Eren, I want to be with you, but you’re making it so hard.”

“Levi,” Eren’s voice is almost a breath in between them as he brings his hands up to cover Levi’s that’s still remain on his cheeks. If he hadn’t been listening so intently to Levi’s words then he surely would have missed them. His shoulders drop as all the tension he’s been holding over the last few weeks leaves them. Levi wants to be with him, by his own choice. “Levi,” The name leaves his lips again, spoken with so much tenderness that Eren surprises even himself. Levi stares at him, his eyes still guarded as if he expects Eren to reject him, as if Eren could ever do that. Not when he’s got him so completely.

Levi is all his. He knows that now.

He leans forward as if a force is pushing him towards the man and presses their lips together. Levi’s reaction is instant as he moves his hands from Eren’s cheeks and wraps them around his neck, pulling him closer against his body. Eren lifts Levi’s body so he straddles his lap. He’s going to do everything he can to change, to be the person that Levi wants him to be. And he’ll do it, he’ll do it for Levi.

Levi pushes Eren down onto his back, still keeping their lips connected.

Eren breaks their lips apart looking up at him with a shit eating grin on his face. Levi leans back slightly, eyebrow raised. “What?”

“You called me, Eren,” Before Levi was convinced that Eren’s grin couldn’t get any bigger, but is proved wrong as it continues to stretch, his eyes crinkling up.

He lets out a short laugh. “I guess I did.” He leans down to kiss him again, before the brunette breaks the kiss as he leans up to whisper in his ear huskily.

“Do it again.”

Levi smirks as he pushes Eren back down placing his lips against his chest. He moves up to nip at his collarbone, sucking on it until a nice red mark forms, Eren lets out a moan. “Eren,” He breaths out, looking up at the man through hooded eyelids.

The shiver that runs through Eren’s body causes Levi to chuckle darkly. “Now go to sleep.” He says as he pushes himself off Eren, rolling back onto his side of the tiny bed.

“W-What?” Eren asks loudly, not believing Levi’s abrupt actions.

“I’m tired,” Levi’s muffled voice comes from the pillow he’s mushed his face into. Eren lets out a loud sigh, letting his head fall back against the pillow, willing his boner to go away. It’s completely unfair how Levi can just tease him like that. He rolls over onto his side facing Levi’s back and wraps his arms around the man’s slim torso pulling him against his stomach. Levi shuffles back, placing his ass right against Eren’s crotch and grinds slightly. There’s no doubt in Eren’s mind that Levi is now aware of how hard he is, and yet he does nothing, just continues to grind slowly as Eren does his best to ignore it and go to sleep. There are more important things to be concerned with at the moment.

He falls asleep wrapped around Levi’s body with a smile on his face.

Perhaps they’re moving forward after all.

~~.~~

Even though he made up with Marco last night, to some extent at least he wasn’t looking forward to going down to that common room. It’s a Tuesday morning, he knows that both Marco and Jean will be sitting at the breakfast bar having coffee together before Marco goes for his morning shift and Jean heads off to class. Of course Levi doesn’t seem to care about Eren’s reluctance as he pushes him in front of him on the stairs. Saying something about being starving and needing his morning tea before somebody gets hurt. Eren moves his feet in front of him only because he knows that somebody will be him.

“Move it will you,” Levi’s gruff voice sounds from behind him as yet another shove almost causes him to lose him balance on the last few stairs.

“I’m going,” He snaps, finally planting both feet on even ground.

They enter the kitchen as two heads looking up at them. Eren’s eyes immediately land on Marco’s knee where his and Jean’s fingers are interlocked. He manages to restrain from rolling his eyes, but he doesn’t quite stop the scoff that makes its way out of his mouth. He can feel Levi’s hard glare on his back as Eren continues past them into the kitchen. “Morning,” He could chalk his tone up to not being a morning person, but he knows they all see right through it.

“Good morning, Eren,” Marco says lightly, an attempt to keep the kitchen a war free zone

“What do you want for breakfast Levi?” He asks, only feeling half bad about ignoring Marco.

He hears Levi pull out a seat as he replies. “Remember what we talked about last night, Eren?”

Eren’s shoulders rise and fall as he breathes deeply trying hard to control his anger. “So, toast then?”

Levi sighs, is this still how it’s going to be? “Whatever is fine.”

Eren sets two pieces of toast and a black tea in front of Levi moments later and leans against the bench avoiding eye contact with all of them.

It’s Marco who speaks up first. “So you guys are together then?”

“Obviously,” Eren replies, rolling his eyes.

“Eren!” Levi snaps, giving him a hard glare.

Eren sighs, finally looking at Marco and unfortunately Jean. “Sorry. I said I was fine with it and that’s how it’s going to stay.” He takes in another deep breath, “I’m sorry.” He makes sure to include Jean in his apology.

“It’s fine,” Marco responds right away.

“Marco, don’t just let him treat you like that,” Jean finally speaks up squeezing his boyfriend’s hand. He turns to glare at Eren. “Get over it already.”

“Why should I? Mikasa is hurt-,”

“Mikasa is over it!” Jean cuts him off, his voice loud in the small room. “She gets it. Neither of us were in love with each other, Eren. She understands that, you’d know that if you attempted to talk to people before exploding at them first.”

Jean’s words cause all the snide remarks Eren had prepared to slip right out of his thoughts. Mikasa is okay with this? He looks at the two of them admitting silently to himself that they do look good together. If Mikasa is fine then really he shouldn’t be so angry, but the way they went about things way still wrong.

He sighs, “Even so, it was still a dick way to go about it.”

Jean chuckles lowly. “You’re right. But if I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t change it. I mean everything worked out in the end. Now I have Marco.” He smiles at Marco, who blushes as he dips his head avoiding Jean’s loving stare. Eren wonders if that’s how he looks whenever Levi looks at him, though he can’t remember a time when Levi has actually ever looked at him like that. Not even last night when he was saying the words that almost made Eren’s heart melt. They just weren’t that type of couple and being able to see that now he feels a feeling rather similar to envy bloom in his stomach the longer he watches them. He glances over to Levi, half expecting him to be looking at the exchange and maybe, just maybe he would have the same look in his eyes, he feels his heart drop when he sees Levi reading the paper off to the side not paying attention to anything outside of it.

The spell between them is broken when Marco glances at his watch and rockets out of his chair. “Shit, I have to get to work.”

Eren’s eyes lift up at that. “Do you mind if I go with you? I want to talk to Eld.”

Marco’s regular smile stretches across his lips at those words. “Okay. I’m sure he wants to talk to you too.”

“Do you mind?” He asks Levi who only glances at him quickly before waving his hand telling him to go.

No smile, no words, nothing. Just a wave. Eren’s envy only grows when Jean stands to give Marco a quick kiss before walking into the kitchen to clean up their plates.

“Alright, later,” They both say as they make their way out of the common room.

~~.~~

“Give me one good reason why I should give you your job back,” Eld’s harsh voice commands from where he sits at his desk in the back room.

Ern shuffles on the spot unsure what the right words he needs to say are. He sighs, not being able to come up with anything and instead blurts, “I’m sorry, I made a mistake and I was a dickhead about it. I promise if you give me another chance I won’t screw up again. I really like working here.”

Eld looks at him for a minute, so long that Eren once again begins to shift uncomfortably under the gaze.

“Fine. Be here at seven tomorrow. And I swear if you’re not here you won’t be getting any more chances.”

Eren’s eyes light up. “Thanks, Eld.”

Eld stands up, heading towards the front café room. “Yeah, you should be thanking Marco. He’s the one who convinced me in the first place.”

Eren nods, as he watches Eld walk out.

~~.~~

He’s surprised to find Levi still sitting at the breakfast bar minus Jean when he comes back an hour later.

“I thought you would have left,” He says, as he takes the seat beside him. Levi puts the paper down and turns to him, shrugging.

“I’ve got nothing else to do today.”

“Did you want to do something then?” He still can’t believe how flustered he gets around him, perhaps this morning it has something to do with Levi’s confession last night, but he knows deep down that that’s only part of it.

“Like what?” Levi purposely ignores the blush spread across Eren’s cheeks.

Eren shrugs, pushing himself back slightly in the chair. “We could watch a movie or something.”

Levi’s mouth quirks up into a smirk, “Do you actually mean watch a movie or watch a movie?” Eren’s blush deepens at the hiss words. He clears his throat to keep himself from stuttering.

“I mean watch a movie.”

Levi chuckles and stands from his chair. “Alright, let’s go up to your dorm then.”

He makes himself comfortable on Eren’s bed as he waits for him to set up the laptop. He watches Eren set the laptop down on the end of the bed and begins removing his shirt.

“Whoa, I thought you said we were just watching a movie,” He mocks.

Eren places his shirt on the back of his desk chair and climbs onto the bed next to him, starting the movie. “I’m just making myself comfortable.”

Levi says nothing as he stares at the screen.

 

They get through the movie with little incident. Only twice did Eren’s hand somehow finds its self-sitting on Levi’s thigh, close enough to his crotch that Levi had come so close to snapping and forgetting the movie all together. Though of course he’s too stubborn to allow Eren the pleasure of letting him win. So he sat still not once taking his eyes off the screen as Eren relentlessly kneaded his inner thigh. Eren jumps up from the bed once the credits begin to role startling Levi who sits back with wide eyes as not to get accidently kneed by Eren as he jumps over him onto the floor.

“What are you doing?”

“I just remembered Jean has a new release dvd that I missed when it was on at the movies, and I’ve really been wanting to see it.”

“And?”

“We should watch it,” Eren says slowly, due to Levi’s confused state.

Levi raises his eyebrow. “So you’re just going to borrow it from him then?”

Eren stares at him with his own confused expression. “Of course. I mean I apologized, so everything should be all good now.”

Something flashes through Levi’s eyes at his words, but it’s gone too fast for Eren to catch what it was. He shrugs it off, figuring it’s just Levi being his usual self.

“Right, whatever,” Levi says, gesturing with his hands for Eren to do as he pleases.

“I’ll be right back,” He calls, as he walks out of his tiny dorm room still shirtless.

He makes his way down the hall towards Jean’s room, feeling glad that he had actually bothered to apologize to the guy this morning so he can borrow something from him now. He knocks on the door quietly, not wanting to seem invasive but receives no answer. He half turns away when he hears muffled voices coming from the room. He places his ear against the wood for a moment before turning the handle pushing the door inwards. He’s getting that movie.

“Hey Jean, can I borrow that movie? Levi and I were going to wat-,” He trails off as startled gasps meet his ears as he slowly takes in the scene in front of him. Jean lies on his back, legs hiked up over Marco’s bare shoulders as the dark haired man towers over him, his hands resting firmly on his hips.

 “Yeager, what the fuck? Did you even knock?” Jean’s voice accuses from underneath Marco.

Eren hears the words, but makes no move to pull his eyes away from them. His shock rooting him in place.

“Yeager!” He does nothing. “Eren! Get the fuck out!” Jean’s voice yells again. He blinks quickly, as the words finally break through some wall in his mind and force him to move. He turns around on his heel walking as fast as he can to the door.

“God dammit, lock your door if you’re going to do shit like that. Hang a sock or something.”

He waits a moment, remembering what he actually came for and opens the door again, sticking his head through making sure to look in the opposite direction of Jean’s bed. “So, Jean. About that movie?”

He flinches when a mound of white flies towards him, he ducks back behind the door using it as a shield as the feather pillow falls to the floor. “Get out!”

“Ugh fine, I’ll get it later,” He sighs. He’s about to close the door when a smirk makes its way onto his face. He sticks his head back through making sure to look in their direction so he can catch Jean’s eye over Marco’s shoulder.

He winks.  “You look good by the way Marco.”

Marco tenses as Eren finally leaves laughing as he closes the door.

“I’m going to kill that guy,” Jean states, feeling like he personally owes it to the brunette for his intrusion.


	23. Decision?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where.. ah.. some stuff.. happens..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thursday, yay!
> 
> I'm actually quite surprised I got this chapter out on time, so you can thank my friend for hassling me..
> 
> Nothing really to say this week except just a thank you to all the people who have stuck with the story thus far and left comments, etc, I never thought the story would even be this long!
> 
> Anyway, so like I said last week I have no full chapters finished at the moment but I'm working on chapter twenty two right now. I'm also going back to work this week so I might not get it out by next Thursday. But just know that if it's not out by Thursday I promise it will come out as soon as it can after that.
> 
> For now Enjoy!
> 
> Leave a review or fav/follow, everything is appreciated 
> 
> (:

 

 

 

“What happened to you out there?” Levi asks breathing deeply as Eren trails hot, wet lips over his torso. He’s currently lying back on the mattress of Eren’s tiny bed with his shirt hiked up under his arms as the brunette hovers over him.

“I didn’t get the movie,” He responds somewhat cryptically as his lips latch onto Levi’s nipple, causing him to release a low groan.

“That much is obvious,” He replies, once he regains his ability to speak.

Eren’s lips move up to his collarbone, sucking harshly before moving onto the side of his neck. Levi tilts his head to the side to allow him better access.

“But this is even better,” He breathes out, the warm breath sending shivers through Levi’s body.

“So are you going to tell me what happened?” He sits up abruptly as a thought comes to him, causing Eren to straddle his hips to avoid being head butted. “Don’t tell me you got into another fight with Jean.” The sternness in Levi’s eyes, causes Eren’s to harden.

He wiggles his hips as he tries to lean back, a weak attempt to get away from Levi’s touch. “Why do you automatically assume that?” His voice is loud with annoyance.

Levi gives him a look as if to ask if he’s really asking that question seriously as his hands tighten on Eren’s hips, stilling him. “Don’t get defensive. I’m just asking you a question.”

He lets out a huff, realising he’s not going anywhere. He hangs his head down on Levis shoulder hiding his face into the crook of his neck, his delayed embarrassment over the earlier ordeal with Jean and Marco finally showing itself.

“I walked in on Jean and Marco.” Levi barely catches the words as they’re breathed on his neck.

“I’m sorry you what?” He can’t stop the laugh that makes its way into his tone.

Eren sighs deeply again, his face heating from the dark blush spreading across it. “I walked in on Jean and Marco having sex.”

Levi can’t stop the bark of laughter that escapes from his throat. “You’re kidding.”

“Don’t laugh at me,” He whines, eager to move on from this topic of discussion.

Levi thinks for a moment, is this why Eren came back into the room with a look of desire on his face and jumped him the second he closed the door? Was it because he saw Jean and Marco in the midst of sex? He smirks, figuring he might just be right.

“Did they get you all hot and bothered?”

“Shut up,” Is mumbled into his collarbone causing him to laugh again.

“Oh, Eren. What am I to do with you?”

Eren moves his hips slightly against Levi’s own as way of an answer.

A smirk crosses his face at Eren’s actions. “Seriously?”

Eren lets out a whine as Levi does nothing but hold his hands on his hips. The smirk on the dark haired man’s face testing his patience. Levi knows what he wants. He moves his hips again, hoping he can encourage Levi to do something without using his words. It takes a second to break him down, until he can feel Levi hardening beneath him, causing a smile to grace his lips, and Levi’s to fall into a thin line.

“There you go,” He says quietly, moving his hips slowly.

Levi’s grip on his tightens slightly before bringing one hand to palm at Eren over his pants. Eren lets out a groan at the contact, thanking every god he can think of that Levi decided to indulge him. He throws his head back in a groan when Levi’s hand increases in pressure against him. He decided a while ago that he would relish in these kinds of moments, be thankful that Levi was even interested in the first place. He’s still surprised by it, all of it, if he’s to be honest if Levi had pulled half the crap Eren had in these short months Eren would have outright refused to be with him, have anything to do with him for that matter. He doubts he would have the patience or the will to put up with something so annoying for an extended period of time. But Levi had, and there is only one tiny blip in Eren’s happiness that he can’t seem to shake. Because Eren can’t seem to figure out why.

He’s thankful for the fact that Levi is a better person than he will ever be.

~~.~~

 “Mikasa, how are you?” Eren asks the next morning, seeing the dark haired girl sitting in the common room nursing a cup of coffee. She looks up and smiles noticing Levi standing at Eren’s side.

“Fine thanks.”

He sits down next to her, leaving Levi to walk off into the kitchen for his own drink. “Are you sure? I mean everything with Jean was pretty messy.”

“If he wants to be with Marco then I’m not going to stop him.” She stares down into her cup wondering whether or not to continue. She sighs, knowing that she has to say it. “It got messy because you involved yourself.”

He sits back into the couch to stare at her, surprised that she would bring up such a thing. “He needed to know, Mikasa.”

“And you think that was the best way to let him know that what he did was wrong?”

“Well probably not the best way,” He scratches the back of his neck as he looks around the room guiltily. “I just reacted, I couldn’t stop it. And yet I still can’t bring myself to regret the action.”

“Have you talked to him since?”

He smiles slightly, recalling how everything got straightened out. “Yeah, we’re fine now.”

She looks sad as she looks at him for a moment; it’s the small expression Levi has been casting towards him the times they’ve talked about Jean since then. She’s so like him in looks that Eren can’t believe that they aren’t actually siblings. He figures it’s the reason why he feels so comfortable around her, why it’s so easy for him to let down his defences and open up. “And yet you still feel no remorse for your actions?”

“I don’t feel as if I should have to,” He states, getting annoyed at her as he’s forced to defend his himself yet again.

“I’m not trying to start a fight with you, Eren. I just want to make sure you’re okay,” She keeps her tone soft, but he can see that her eyes still hold a certain hardness.

“I said I’m fine.”

Levi walks back in then, holding two mugs in his hands. He sits down on the couch opposite the two and extends his arm, holding a mug out to Eren. He takes it gratefully, offering Levi a smile as the strong aroma of coffee wafts out of the mug.

“Morning, Levi,” Mikasa greets, looking over at her cousin.

“Morning,” He replies taking a sip from his mug.

“So do you guys have anything planned today, you’re up awfully early?”

As Eren glances back over at Levi his eyes skim past the clock on the wall that reads 6:53am. His eyes widen as he attempts to chug down the rest of his coffee. He winces at it burns his throat as the other two look at him with curiosity.

“I have work,” He explains as he rises quickly from the couch.

He runs into the kitchen, ditching his mug in the sink and hurries back out into the common room. He leans down placing a quick kiss on Levi’s lips before running out the door. He won’t admit it, but it’s his attempt to be more like Jean and Marco.

“I’ll see you guys later.”

Mikasa waits a moment before looking from the door to Levi; she’s surprised to find he’s already staring at her.

“So, how are things going with you two?” With anybody else she would have eased into this topic of conversation, but she never felt the need to do that with him. Bluntness was always the best way.

“We’re fine,” He answers, frustratingly close to Eren’s answer.

She stares at him over the rim of her mug. He always has been good at keeping his emotions under control, but most of the time she can at least see through him to some extent. But this time is different, there is something off, something that she has never felt from him before and she can’t put her finger on it.

“Okay then, how are you?”

His eyes widen slightly at her straightforward question, before they narrow again quickly. “I’m fine.”

She sighs heavily, getting frustrated at her cousin’s standoffishness. “Levi, I’m asking how you are because I’m actually concerned about you, so don’t give me that shit.”

He stares at her but gives her nothing.

“Look, I get that you’re with Eren now and he’s a good guy. But there is something about him that worries me, and from the look on your face the other day, it worries you too.”She sighs again when he remains silent. “I’m not saying that he would ever do it, but I don’t want that to ever happen to you again, okay? I’m worried about you, -,”

“That doesn’t affect me anymore,” He states, cutting her off.

She laughs, knowing full well what bullshit that is. “After all that time you can’t just get over it. I know you Levi. You’re not over it.”

“You haven’t told him anything, have you?” She’s shocked by the vulnerableness in his voice.

“No,” She shakes her head. “I thought you would tell him if you wanted to. It’s not my decision.”

“Do you think I should?” He asks, staring right into her eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay,” He gets up, leaving his mug on the small table between them and heads for the door. “Then I’m fine.”

She gets up quickly, reaching out to him but not making any contact. “Please, just be careful. You say you’re fine, and I want to believe you, but I actually want it to be true.”

He offers her a small upward tug of his lips before he walks out the door.

~~.~~

“Eren, can you help me with this?”

“Wha-?” He looks up from his phone, his annoyance at being interrupted showing on his face.

Armin stands staring at him from the other side of the breakfast bar, knife in one hand and carrot in the other.

“Can you help me with dinner?” He places the items back on the bench and turns towards the stove. “If you could cut those vegetables it would be a great help.”

Eren lifts his phone back up, re reading the text Levi had just sent him. “Do you really need me to? I mean you look like you’re pretty sorted.”

Armin glances over his shoulder as he continues to stir whatever is in the pot. “If I didn’t need your help, I wouldn’t ask for it.” His tone holding his own annoyance.

Eren lets his head fall down against the bench with a hard smack. “But Armin,” He whines, looking for anyway he can get out of this.

“It’s not like you’re doing anything else.”

“Yeah, but-.”

“It’ll only take a second, just chop them up.”

Eren looks over the top of his phone again, his mouth twisted up into a smirk. “What do I get out of it?”

Armin chuckles softly as he turns his body fully to face the brunette. “Ah, dinner.”

“Oh come on, Armin. Isn’t there someone else that can help you? Hange and Mikasa are in the next room, just ask them.”

Armin turns back around, picking the spoon back up and continuing to stir. “Forget it.”

“Armin, I’m sorry. I just have something else to do right now,” He grins down at his phone again, reading for a third time the words from Levi on his screen. The ones that state his boyfriend is waiting for him in his tiny shoebox dorm room upstairs.

“Whatever, it’s fine.”

He walks around the breakfast bar to his friend, an innocent smile playing on his lips. He grabs Armin, wrapping his arms around his waist pulling him against his chest. “I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you next time. But I really have to go.”

Armin stiffens as soon as Eren’s arms are around him, the words Eren speaks right next to his ear almost makes his frustration subside until he catches a glimpse at the screen of Eren’s phone. Levi’s name flashes across it in bright letters, along with a text that Armin’s positive is the reason he’s so eager to get out of here. He steps out of Eren’s arms, leaving the taller boy confused at the rejection.

“If you’re not going to help then leave,” He’s in no mood to soften his voice for Eren’s benefit.

“Armin, don’t be mad. I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t important.”

Armin pushes by Eren, who remains standing in the kitchen, as he makes his way towards the fridge. “Whatever, just go see your boyfriend. I don’t need any help.”

Armin’s voice is cold as he addresses him, causing guilt to rise in Eren’s chest though he pushes it to the side, not in the mood to put other people before himself, though today he’s more up front about it. He looks at his friend for a moment, waiting for him to turn back around, when he doesn’t he sighs heavily enough for Armin to pick up on his annoyance.  He makes his way out of the kitchen with a wave of his hand.

“Later then.”

~~.~~

“Why are you still so bitter, Eren?”

The brunette lifts his eyes from the phone in his hands to glare at the man addressing him.

“I’m not,” He answers shortly, lowering his eyes once more. He receives a hard elbow in the side for his rudeness prompting him to turn his glare on Levi who sits beside him.

“What was that for?” He asks, as if the answer wasn’t painfully obvious.

Levi heaves a heavy sigh, before getting up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen. “Don’t be so rude.” Is shouted over his shoulder as he exits.

Eren glares after Levi now out of sight when Erwin speaks again.

“Seriously Eren, you need to get past this,” He leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “I’m not the bad guy here.”

He scoffs, looking back over at the blonde. “Bullshit.”

“What?” Erwin asks surprised at Eren’s dismissal.  

“You’re always on such a high horse, aren’t you? Erwin could never do anything wrong,” His taunting tone does nothing to faze the blonde.

He only smirks as he leans further forward, staring into Eren’s eyes. “You’re kind of cute when you’re trying to be intimidating.”

“Don’t patronize me,” If Erwin’s plan is to rile him up then he’s done an excellent job.

Erwin leans back again, laying his arm along the back of the couch. “You know Eren, it’s strange to me that you continue to act like this. I mean it’s obvious that Levi is into you, and yet you seem to be doing everything you can to push him away. Why is that?”

Eren blinks, trying to make sense of what Erwin is talking about. He’s pushing Levi away? No, that’s not true, he’s done everything he could to make things work between them. He promised himself that he would change, promise himself he’s do better. And yet here is Erwin, sitting innocently across from him telling him that all this progress, all his efforts have been in vain.

“Is it that you are subconsciously trying to break up with him, before he can be the one to end things?”

Eren stands abruptly taking a step towards Erwin, who only stares up at him curiously. “Stop talking. You don’t know anything! You’re trying to sabotage us!”

Erwin looks at him sadly, he doesn’t want to be the bad guy but Eren needs to know. “I’m not the one sabotaging things.”

“Why does everyone have to butt in on mine and Levi’s relationship? Where fine, everything is fine! I’m not trying to sabotage anything and he actually wants to be with me. You got that?”

Erwin opens his mouth, only to close it just as quickly when Levi re-enters the room.

“Are you playing nice, Eren?”

Eren doesn’t seem to get the picture as his anger at Erwin turns towards Levi. “I shouldn’t have to,” He thrusts his hand towards Erwin’s seemingly innocent mature face. “This guy’s a dick.”

“That guy happens to be my best friend,” Levi deadpans, as if he’s already grown accustomed to Eren’s temperament.

Eren’s fists clench at his side, his skin white as it strains over his knuckles. Levi takes a step back, not sure which way Eren is going to go.

“And I’m your boyfriend,” He says slowly through clenched teeth.

“Are you seriously asking me to choose?” Levi asks his tone one of complete disbelief.

Eren looks between the two his hands still clenched by his sides. He thinks for a moment. Would Levi do it? Would he seriously choose him and forget about all the years he’s known Erwin just because Eren asked him to? He wishes Levi was a horrible enough person to even consider doing that to one of his best friends, but he knows it’s not in his nature. So he unclenches his hands and draws in a deep breath.

“No, don’t be silly.”

He forces a quiet laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

Levi stares at him for a moment, Eren stares back trying to read the expression on Levi’s face, trying to get some insight into what he’s thinking, but the dark haired man gives nothing away. He turns away with Eren wondering what he’s going to do next. He looks at Erwin.

“Do you want to go for a drink?”

Eren can’t believe what he’s just heard. He opens his mouth to say something that will surely make Levi mad at him when Erwin stands up, a smile on his lips.

“Yeah, let me just grab my wallet.”

Levi doesn’t spare Eren a glance as he follows Erwin out of the room. He stops in the doorway, his shoulders slumped forward slightly, he tells Eren what he needs to know and nothing more.

“I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up.”

Eren can’t think of any way to apologize.

~~.~~

“You okay?” Erwin’s voices sounds from behind his beer glass. The packed campus bar makes it hard to hear him over the noise but Levi still laughs already knowing what Erwin would ask him as soon as they left the dorm.

“That seems to be a common question lately.”

Erwin raises an eyebrow. “You know there’s a reason for that.”

“Yeah, you guys like butting into my business,” He says it light heartedly, knowing full well that his friend’s worry is merited.

Erwin looks at him for a long moment, trying to find the Levi he knows through the thick façade he’s putting on. He sighs when he remains indifferent. “You don’t have to be like that with me.”

Levi smiles knowing he’s been caught, Erwin was always able to see through him.

Erwin leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and holding his chin. “Why are you with him?”

He’d not been expecting the question, and the words cause his eyes to widen before returning to their regular thin state. Why is he with Eren? It seems like such an easy question to answer and yet he can’t come up with a quick answer. Because the fact is it’s complicated, sure Eren has made his fair share of mistakes and his personality and short fuse are not his best traits, but Levi himself hasn’t done everything he should have in the time he’s known Eren. So it’s hardly all Eren’s fault. And yet Levi for a second thinks of taking the easy way out, just putting all the blame on Eren and walking off guilt free.  

But he knows that’s not realistic.

“Are you in love with him?”

At least he knows the answer to that one.

He shakes his head slowly, if he’s sure of anything it’s that he’s not in love with Eren. At least not yet.

“Then why?” He’s always hated how insistent Erwin is.

He runs his hands through his hair harshly willing his brain to conjure up an answer that will satisfy them both, but there is nothing. Because cheesy as it may sound it’s the rare little things that Eren does that has Levi returning time and time again. When he first met Eren he thought of him as weak, he didn’t stand up for himself, not in the way that Levi finds desirable. But there have been rare moments when he’s seen just how strong Eren can actually be, and though those times have been when the two of them are in the midst of a fight, it’s exactly what Levi wanted to see. That Eren was capable of taking a stand for himself and no one else.

“I don’t know,” He looks up at Erwin, he knows he looks like mess as the long bits of his hair fall over his face.

Erwin takes another slow sip of his beer, never taking his eyes of him. “I think you’ll be fine.”

He scoffs, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hands like Erwin had earlier. “And how do you figure that?”

Erwin can’t believe he’d felt the need to ask that question. Levi who had always been so strong no matter what happened to him, was now sitting in front of him his eyes tired and usual snappy personality nowhere to be seen. And all over a guy of all things. Erwin is having none of it.

“Because you’re Levi,” He responses with the biggest grin on his face as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Levi laughs softly; Erwin says the most ridiculous things. “You put too much faith in me, Erwin.”

Erwin’s grin softens back to affectionate smile. “Well maybe. But I still know you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah right,” He responds as Erwin gets up to order more drinks.

He lays his head on his arms against the table wishing that this conversation did anything to ease his growing worry.

 

~~.~~

“Eren?” He looks up from the ground to see the shining eyes of Petra. He’d think that they might actually be beautiful if they weren’t wrinkled up in dislike. She tilts her head at an odd angle, causing him to wonder if she is trying to intimidate him by looking half crazed. “What are you doing here?”

He scoffs at her attempt to rattle him, instead looking back into the crowd of people coming out of the class room. He looks for one head in particular. The head of dark hair that he desperately needs to see. “I’m here for Levi.”

He doesn’t think she deserves anything from him, though it’s not as if he needed to answer her anyway, it’s obvious why he’s here.

She sits down beside him, her legs swinging over the cement wall he’d perched himself on earlier to wait. She sits close enough that anybody would, if anybody cared enough, assume that they were merely just friends. He knows however that that will never be the case.

“Come to apologize, I assume,” Her voice sickening sweet, holds an undertone of malice.

He nods once, not enjoying the game she’s trying to get him to participate in.

She places a hand on the wall behind them and looks up, staring into the darking clouds forming overhead. “You know that’s funny actually. Levi told me to meet him here today.”

He nods again, already knowing that Levi is doing everything he can since yesterday to put him at a distance. If only he didn’t lose his cool with Erwin, perhaps then Eren wouldn’t have been so stupid as to practically give Levi an ultimatum that Eren knew he would lose. He knows Levi is only doing this to get back at him, and he is almost willing to let him. Allow him to walk all over him, get his payback and then Eren will welcome him back with open arms and forget this ever happened, and they would go back to how they were a week ago lying in Eren’s bed as Levi called him by his first name for the first time.

But he’s not that kind of person. He’s too stubborn to allow anybody to use him like that. Even Levi.

She stares at him when he remains silent, a smirk making its way onto her face. “What did I tell you, Eren? I told you he would have his fill of you. It’s actually been longer than I expected, so I guess I have to give you some credit for that,” She leans forward; he can feel her breath fanning across his cheek. “Tell me your secret. I mean there has to be a reason he kept your around for so long, you must be really good at sucking d-,

“Shut up Petra!” He yells, placing his feet on the ground and putting space between them. “Say one more fucking thing and I swear I’ll make sure he never talks to you again.”

The scared expression on her face surprises him; he opens his mouth to say something else when he notices she’s staring over his shoulder. He turns his head slowly, a part of him already aware of who’s behind him, yet he still prays that he’s wrong. He makes eye contact with hard grey eyes, which are staring at him with a mix of anger and confusion.

“Levi, I-,” He tries, knowing full well that he has no excuse. He already knows Levi saw everything.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Though his voice is low, the undertone of anger causes Eren to flinch.

“Levi, she. Petra -, I,” He wishes he’d never opened his mouth.

Levi raises a hand silencing him as he brushes past him and walks straight to Petra. The innocent look on her face makes Eren feel sick. Levi turns back to him, his eyes filled with so much hurt that Eren wants to run; he never wanted to see that expression twist Levi’s features.

“Eren,”

He takes comfort in the fact that Levi is still saying his name; he’ll cling onto that even if he has nothing else.

“These are my friends. I don’t know what has happened between all of you, but I know that I need them behind me on this. And to come out of class and see you yelling at Petra. Eren, what are you doing? I don’t understand what’s going through your head.”

He doesn’t know what to say. He thinks about telling Levi all the things Petra has done to him, said to him since they met, but none of that seems to be enough. None of it would matter because she’s his friend. And Eren, what is he? A boyfriend? A fuckbuddy? He’s not so sure anymore. But he knows that if he says anything to Levi about Petra, he won’t believe him, and that’s why she did it. That’s why she continued to taunt him, because he knew there was nothing he could do. His relationship with Levi has always been just one push away from tipping, and Eren may have just been the hand that sent them crashing down.

“Do you have anything to say?” Levi’s question cuts through his thoughts, but Eren knows he’s not looking for an answer, not really. So he looks at him with guilty eyes and shoulders slumped.

“I’m sorry,” Because he can’t say anything else.

A sad smile crosses Levi’s lips before he turns with Petra following suit as they walk away.

“Levi, don’t do this again. Don’t walk off with one of them and leave me wondering if you’re going to come back.” It’s a desperate plea, but he can’t do much else.

Levi stops and half turns his eyes gone from sad to hard in an instant.

“Oh, Eren. It’s because of you that I have to.”

~~.~~

It’s a week later and Eren hasn’t heard a word from Levi. He’d been avoiding going over to his dorm, not wanting to run into any of Levi’s friends and cause a fuss. But on the seventh day of silence he feels like he’s losing his mind. He gets out of his bed that he’s made his permanent residence since the fifth day and chucks on a shirt that he’s not certain is clean, ties his shoes as quickly as he can and makes his way towards the door. He feels his phone vibrate inside his pocket and ignores it, there’s no way Levi would be contacting him now, and he’s focused on getting out of here. The buzzing continues forcing him to reach into his back pocket and retrieve the device only to turn it off. His finger hesitates over the power button as he stops moving, watching Levi’s name flash across the screen.

He swipes his finger over the screen, even though he’s angry and in a rush he knows he’d never be able to ignore a message from Levi. He opens the message and reads the six words that make his stomach flip.

‘ _Meet me outside my dorm building.’_

He exits the message and opens the second one, he almost laughs as he reads the single word.

‘ _Please.’_

He shoves his phone back in his pocket and exits his dorm slower than he would have before, he doesn’t want Levi knowing just how eager he is to see him, not when Levi has apparently wanted nothing more than space from him.

He gets to the dorm to find Levi already standing out the front waiting for him. He raises his head as Eren approaches and stands up straight keeping his hands inside his coat pockets. Eren reads the situation straight away and stops a few feet from him, making no move to greet him as he usually would.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

They stare at each other, neither making any move to take the next step. Eren stubborn as always feels no need to initiate further conversation, Levi was the one who asked to see him after all.

“Eren,” He hates that his stomach clenches when Levi says his name. “We need to talk.”

He tries to act indifferent, he has no desire to let Levi know just how much this is affecting him. “Yeah? About what?”

He hates Levi’s blank expression. Is this how he usually is? Has Eren just been too blind to notice that Levi rarely shows any emotion but annoyance and anger? Why can’t he just show him what he’s feeling?

Levi opens his mouth again and Eren draws in a breath, afraid of what he’s going to hear next.

“I want to break up.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys are you fucking serious?
> 
> Just kiss and make up for god's sake.. ugh!


	24. Feelings?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Levi and Eren make their decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually got this done on time (well a lot later than I would normally update, but at least it's on the same day!), I surprise myself.
> 
> This week I'd like to share some words that my friend said to me about this story..
> 
> 'Your story is kinda like the equivalent to a torture chamber, it just gets progressively worse as it goes on..'
> 
> Well I'm just glad we're all having fun, am I right?
> 
> So this week I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I would. I managed to get this chapter done AND I also wrote ANOTHER extra chapter that I will be uploading later in the story. This one focuses on Levi, and gives you an insight into his past, so I think you guys might enjoy that, or maybe not, I'm not really sure.
> 
> I'm actually kind of disappointed with this weeks chapter, but I'm sleep deprived and I felt I needed to post something, so i hope it will satisfy you all until the next chapter (who knows when that will be.. I'm in a bit of a slump at the moment). This chapter was even supposed to have smut and yet for the life of me I can't make myself write it... ugh.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter this week and make sure to leave a review or fav/follow.
> 
> Everything is appreciated (:

“WHAT?”

“Please don’t ask me to repeat myself,” Levi sighs as he looks down at the ground. It was an odd thing for him to do and Eren gets the feeling that perhaps this isn’t what he really wants.

“B-But why? I don’t understand,” He stutters. Because if there is any way he can fix this, to change Levi’s mind, he’s going to do it.

Levi lifts his head back up, his sad eyes meeting Eren’s instantly. “That’s the worst thing.” Pause. “That you don’t know. How can you be so out of touch, so clueless that you have no idea why I can’t keep this up anymore?”

“Keep what up? Levi, what are you saying?” He’s almost at his breaking point, can feel the tears beginning to prick at it eyes. Where did he go so wrong? He thinks over the last few weeks only coming up with one reoccurring problem. Levi’s friends. They must have said something to Levi to make him act this way. Perhaps it really isn’t Levi’s choice. “Is this because of your friends?”

Levi’s expression hardens at the question, is he really that blind?

“No Eren, it’s about you.” He sighs again, silently wondering when Eren is finally going to get it. “I’m saying I don’t want to be with you anymore.” He pauses again, as if it physically pains him to get the next words past his lips. “At least not right now.”

Eren has had enough, there’s no way he’s going to take the blame for something that isn’t entirely his fault. “Then tell me why! Don’t treat me like some child you need to hide things from. If you want to end things then whatever, fine, I can’t stop you. But you owe me an explanation.” His temper rises at the way Levi treats him as if he’s a small child who doesn’t know any better.

He laughs, though it’s sad and the mere sound of it causes Eren’s chest to tighten. “That’s the thing Eren, I don’t owe you anything.”

Those words smack Eren full force. Where did he go so wrong? How did everything get so screwed up that it’s come to this? Sure he can admit he’s made his fair share of mistakes, but he didn’t think his screw ups were enough to make this their outcome. He watches as Levi reaches into his back pocket bringing out a cigarette and lighting it. How can he be so stoic? How can he stand here being so calm as he tears Eren apart? Eren clenches his fist at his side, no longer eager to play the poor little boy. The words explode out of him, and once he’s started he cannot stop.

“Everything has gotten so twisted, and I don’t get how you can’t see that. Your friends have twisted everything in their favour and no matter what I say or do you’re going to believe them because you’ve known them for years and I’m just the guy you thought was good enough to fuck.” Levi tries to speak but Eren continues.  “You can’t treat me like this, Levi. You have to understand that I have feelings.” He shakes his head as if he can’t believe he has to say the next words out loud for Levi to get it. “That I fucking matter. What happened to all you said the other week, you said you had feelings for me. So are they now gone? Do you really feel nothing for me?”

Levi takes a long drag from his cigarette staring at Eren with sad eyes. “Honestly, I do want to be with you Eren. But things have happened, I’ve seen things I don’t like and so have you. Perhaps it is other people getting in the way, or perhaps we’re horrible for each other, I don’t know. But right now I know that I need to be away from you. Both of us need to get some sort of perspective before we try this again.”

Eren perks up slightly as Levi’s choice of words. “Again?” He says it quietly, as if afraid he heard Levi wrong.

Levi laughs lowly, “Well I don’t think I’ll be able to stay away from you indefinitely. So for now I’m suggesting a break.”

“A break?” Eren asks, trying the word out for himself.

“Yes,” Levi looks down at his phone suddenly, as if he were in some kind of hurry.

This is not what Eren had expected to happen.

“Ah, okay,” He agrees slowly. He’s not entirely sure what a break is, but if it means there is a chance of getting Levi back he’ll go along with it.

Levi looks back up at him, surprised that he agreed so quickly. “You’re handling this better than I expected.”

Eren stares back at him, he’s not about to mention he wants to get out of here as quickly as he can before he starts crying. He doesn’t want Levi to see that. Not because he thinks the man might comfort him, he doesn’t want Levi’s pity.

“Yeah well if you don’t want to be with me anymore, than I can’t do anything about it. I mean if the last few months meant nothing to you than I guess I was just the idiot for believing it did,” He turns around, his eyes starting to burn as he struggles to keep himself together.

Levi takes a step after him, reaching his hand out as if that will stop Eren from leaving. “What? Eren wait!”

Eren’s voice breaks on his words. “I’ll see you around, Levi.”

And then he’s gone.

~~.~~

He wishes he could just cut the strings that tie him to Eren, but even as he stood there saying everything he needed to in order to convince Eren he didn’t want to be with him, he still felt those strings tug him forward. He hates it because it terrifies him. This was meant to be a fling, just a bit of fun to distract him from the boring days of studying that lied before him and yet Eren ended up twisting his way so much into his life that he’s not so sure he can let him go completely.

Of course he knows that his relationship with Eren was not one that many people would desire, it was twisted and agitating and every time he spoke with Eren he came away feeling even more confused. And yet he kept going back. Even when all the signs said he should walk away, that their last argument was the final straw, he couldn’t make himself do it. He was intrigued by him sure, but a small voice in the back of his head continued to whisper that maybe it was more than that. He’d hushed the voice every time it spoke up, not wanting to hear the words it had to say. Because the fact is he’s scared, not scared of Eren exactly, more afraid of what he believes Eren stands for.

“Levi?”

He looks up from the ground he’d been staring at as he walks. His friends stand in front of him, each expecting an answer that he’s not sure he’s ready to give.

“Did you do it?” Hange asks, though her expression gives him the impression that she doesn’t want to know.  Out of his three close friend’s Hange had always been the most supporting, she liked Eren, not enough to feel him up on a dance floor, but Levi always got the impression that she truly cared for him. Which makes it all the more difficult to nod back at her.

“Is he okay?” She knows there’s no point asking Levi how he is, after all these years she knows that she’ll never get a true straight answer when it comes to Levi and his feelings. So she chooses to focus on Eren, her friend.

He shrugs. “I’m not sure. He was hurt sure, but there was something off.” He laughs quietly to himself. “That’s a joke right? There was something off because he didn’t yell. I should be glad.”

Hange looks concerned as she listens to Levi talk. He’d asked for her advice before he did anything, he knew she was the only one of his friends that would act selflessly and tell him what he needed to know. Eren was right when he accused his friends of trying to come between them; Levi knows how conniving Petra and Erwin can be in order to get what they want. But they’re his friends; they were there for him when he needed them the most. They saw him at his worst and still picked him up, dusted him off and helped him get on with his life. He couldn’t just drop them because some guy told him they were manipulative.

He knows, but unlike with Eren, he can’t let them go.

There’s another part of him that feels he’s doing what’s best for Eren. He still has a certain tendency to push people away so they don’t get hurt. He has a nasty habit of hurting people, and though he may not show it, he actually cares about other people. He just can’t put those feelings into words.

“But what about you, Levi?” Petra clings to his arm, causing him to look at her. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” Those words are exactly the reason why Hange chose not to ask. They were standard for Levi, she knows that. Petra on the other hand will take any opportunity to throw herself on him.

“I would expect nothing less. You know Levi; I personally think you’re better off without him. He was just too needy, you know? He never understood when to just give it a rest. Though kudos to you for dealing with him for so long, I don’t think I would have been able to.” Her harsh words contradict the innocently sweet look on her face.

He lets her talk as his mind drifts to other things, namely a certain brunette with large teal eyes. In a way he kind of hates him. Hates him for worming his way in so far into his life, he never asked for this. He would have been fine, studying and knowing he always had Petra there if his nights got too lonely or he needed to relieve some stress. It’s not like he’s a bad guy, he just gets that way. He does really care for Petra, but he’s never really seen her as more than a friend. Eren on the other hand was something else, and not even Levi could describe what Eren was to him. As he’d told Erwin, he was not in love with the man and yet there was something, something that had him regretting breaking it off with him. He’s glad now with his choice of words, he requested a break and Eren had seemed fine. So perhaps after some time apart they would get back together and work things through, just like they should have in the first place.

“Let’s go get a drink,” Erwin announces, jerking Levi out of his thoughts.

Petra tugs on his arm as she leads him with the other two to the bar across campus. Honestly he doesn’t feel the least bit inclined to drink, but he’ll go along with it, for their sakes.

 

The bar’s crowded for a Tuesday night, but they manage to push their way through the crowd to a table near the back. Erwin leaves straight away to get them a round of drinks before coming back moments later and placing them down on the table. Levi sips at his slowly, watching the crowd around him as his friends try to cheer him up in whatever way they can. But he doesn’t need to be cheered up; he’s just confused, that’s all.

A while later he watches three men walk in, he recognises them immediately, how can he not it’s not a huge campus after all, the only difference is he would have taken anybody over them. They sit at a table not too far from his and immediately two of them are immersed in discussion. Marco and Jean have always been like that, sitting close and whispering to each other; even before they finally admitted their feelings for each other which were so obvious to Levi he wanted to puke every time he saw them. Eren on the other hand seemed to have no interest in their discussion and opted for glancing around the room just as Levi had. He knows there is only a limited time until he spots him and yet he can’t will himself to look away.

Their eyes lock and his mind goes blank. He can feel Petra’s hand tugging on his sweater but he makes no move to look away from Eren. He’s almost inclined to get up and go over to him, just to make sure things are still okay. Sure he broke up with him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to see him at all. He feels himself beginning to rise from his chair, the muffled voices of his friends asking what he’s doing surround him, and then Eren looks away. He says something to Jean and Marco who look Levi’s way and nod and then he’s gone, walking straight out the bar’s door and into the night. Levi sits back down in his seat, looking away from the door and back to his friends.

He sighs; perhaps Eren doesn’t want the same thing after all.

~~.~~

He’s not sure why he decides to do it again, perhaps in a sick twisted way it makes him feel closer to Levi. He knows it’s ridiculous, but the thoughts make him feel just a little bit better about his current situation.

He sits contently on the hard ground at the back of the university staring into the harsh sunlight shining down on him as the slightly cool afternoon breeze ruffles his hair. He knew he shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be doing this and yet it feels right. He’s not sure what else he should do.

He’s gone over and over everything in his head and yet he still draws a blank on what went wrong, on why Levi felt the need to just cut everything off only weeks after he said he was starting to feel something more.  He kicks the top of his shoe against a rock stuck between the grooves in the pavement and sighs, bringing the cigarette up to his lips and taking a drag. He winces as the harsh smoke burns its way down his throat into his lungs, his body still not used to the harsh chemicals.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” An outraged voice sounds from behind him.

Eren hadn’t even heard them approach, as he glances to his side to see the dark jean clad legs of Levi. “What?” He breathes out harshly, though his chest tightens due to the close proximity of the man. He hasn’t talked to him for three days and this is how he greets him.

“You idiot, put that out right now,” Levi commands harshly, taking a step closer. Eren wishes he hadn’t, it’s hard enough just being at this distance and knowing that he is not allowed to touch him anymore.

“Why?” Eren asks, turning his eyes forward and staring out into the distance.

Levi’s hands clench at his sides, isn’t it pretty damn obvious? “Why? Because it’s bad for you that’s why.”

“You do it,” Eren retorts, staring down at the smoking stub in between his fingers.

“Well that’s me.”

“So why can’t I?” Eren asks his tone sharpening.

“Because you have no reason to,” He responds simply.

Eren scoffs at that. He has reason enough.

Levi thinks for a moment before smirking, though it’s hard and dark and nothing like his usual cocky expression. “Do you think you’re being cool? Do you think that having a cigarette hanging out of your mouth makes you look dangerous?”

Eren stands turning to look at him again as he takes another drag and blows the smoke out between them. He tries to do it as gracefully as Levi had when they had their real first conversation all those months ago. He wants to look calm and collected, like he couldn’t give two fucks that Levi is here, but he’s sure he’s coming across quite the opposite. To prove his theory Levi steps forward, snatching the cigarette from his mouth and throws it on the ground. Eren’s anger rises as he stares at the stub lying burnt out on the pavement in front of him.

“What gives you the right?” He yells into the still air, the action causes Levi’s eyes to widen slightly before they return to their usual glaring state. “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. You smoke, so like hell you’re going to stop me from doing what I want. It’s hypocritical and you know it.” He feels like a fool, waving his hands around in front of him, but he needs Levi to understand. Why can’t he just listen to him for once?

“Why are you doing this?” Levi asks his tone suddenly so soft he catches Eren off guard.

“That’s pretty fucking obvious,” He mumbles, his anger subsiding as he stares down at Levi’s shoes.

“For god’s sake, speak up.” Levi’s harsh tone causes Eren to lift his hard gaze up to meet his eyes. Levi can see that the man is conflicted, not sure as to whether he should be acting this way, but being too stubborn to admit his faults.

“As if you don’t know,” Eren spits, consciously choosing to maintain his anger.

Levi’s stare turns hard once more at those words, the sun reflecting off them causing them to flash dangerously. “Don’t you dare say that you’re doing this because of me. Don’t hide behind that excuse to try and justify this.” He’s having a hard time keeping his temper in check. “Don’t act as if this is the only way to deal with your pain.”

“My pain? Well you would know all about that wouldn’t you?” Eren spits.

His hands throw themselves up in the air before he can stop them and they come back down slapping against his thighs loudly in defeat. “Of course I do. You think that I can’t see that you’re hurting? You think that I don’t wish that I could help you?” How can Eren not know that he’s hurting to, how can he be so fucking selfish?

“You can,” His voice suddenly comes out soft and uncertain, as if he already knows what Levi’s response will be.

“No, I can’t. Not when you’re like this,” His grey eyes hold so much sadness that Eren almost steps forward to hug him, almost. Instead his anger flares.

“You made me like this!”

“So that’s how it is?” He chuckles humorously as he glances out into the distance. “Fine, if you need me to be the bad guy then I’ll do it.”

“I don’t want to blame you,” He states. “I want to fix us, but I don’t know how. I don’t know what went wrong,” His mood swings are almost giving them both whiplash.

“If you don’t know, then how will you fix it?” Levi asks softly, taking pity on the man in front of him.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” His tone comes out like a whine and he curses himself.

“That would defeat the whole purpose. There would be no point in you trying to fix anything if I just told you what to do.” He stares up into Eren’s eyes as he continues. “The fact that you don’t know what happened between us just proves that we don’t work.” His words bring their conversation to a close as he leaves Eren standing right where he found him.

~~.~~

“Eren?”

The blonde sits up straighter in his bed, placing his laptop on his side table as he addresses the man at the door. He looks at him through the opening he’d made will dull teal eyes and a heavy expression.

“Armin, can I come in?”

Armin thinks for a moment about all the reasons why he should send Eren away, but seeing him now, so obviously brought down by something, he only finds himself nodding and shifting to the side as Eren takes a seat on his bed. He sits there staring at his feet for the longest time without saying a word. Armin almost feels like his intruding on something private when he decides to speak. But the fact of the matter is that Eren came into his room, he obviously needs something.

He leans forward, careful not to get in his space too much and asks softly. “Eren, are you okay?”

Eren laughs softly, he can’t believe how kind Armin is being to him, especially after the way he’s treated him over the last few months. “I’m sorry, Armin.”

His words take the blonde by surprise and he finds himself leaning back, blinking dumbly. “I’m sorry?”

His hands move against each other as he examines them slowly. “I want to apologize for being such a shitty friend. I’ve treated you horribly since I started dating Levi,” He shakes his head. “Hell maybe even before that, I’m not entirely sure. I wish that I could stop, just pull my head in and start being a good friend, but the thing is, I can apologise to you for everything and I’d still need to apologise for why I’m here in the first place.”

He finally lifts his head up to see Armin’s blue eyes so full of confusion that it makes his stomach clench. He smiles, though even Armin can tell there is something lurking behind it. “I came to apologise to you, and that’s true. But I also came here for something else.”

“Something else?”

Eren ignores him, instead shifting closer up the bed towards Armin who looks down at him with concern. “Do you accept my apology?”

“You want an answer right now?”

He sighs, looking down at Eren who’s waiting patiently for his answer.

“I can’t give you one.”

Eren opens his mouth to speak but Armin continues. “You’ve been a crappy friend. You’ve blown me off to see Levi and you’ve caused tension among your friends. There were times I wished I’d never met you, I thought things would be easier that way. But every time you did something, caused me pain because of your actions, I always convinced myself to give you another chance.” He stops and this time Eren makes no move to speak, only sits back and waits expectantly for Armin to continue talking. “I mean hell you even barged in here and just expected me to hand over my forgiveness because you said you’re sorry. It doesn’t work like that, Eren. You have to earn it.”

Eren looks down at the ground again, and this time Armin manages to catch the sadness in his eyes. “You think I can redeem myself?”

He shrugs and though he knows Eren can’t see it, he knows there is nothing else he can say.

“Levi broke up with me,” He turns his head to the side to give Armin a small smile. “I don’t even blame him. I mean I yelled at him sure, I blamed his friends. I gave him an ultimatum for god’s sake and yet I still had the balls to ask him what I did wrong. I know what went wrong, I could see it, even when we were together I always had the feeling it wouldn’t last. And yet every time I knew I was doing the wrong thing, I couldn’t stop myself.”

He runs his hands through his hair harshly. “Maybe Erwin was right after all. Maybe I really was trying to sabotage the relationship.”

“What did Levi say?”

“He said we should go on a break,” He shakes his head slowly. “Honestly I have no idea what that means.”

There it is the opening Armin needs and though he knows it makes him a terrible person for taking it, he feels it’s okay to be selfish. It’s his turn. He moves towards him, holding his arms out in front until they wrap around the brunette’s shoulders. “Oh Eren, I’m so sorry.”

Eren stiffens in his arms, not sure as to why his friend is suddenly being so comforting. “Armin, what? I’m going to get him back, I’ve got a plan.”

Armin holds him tighter, trying to get Eren to understand. “I’ve known Levi for a while. And as much as I don’t want to hurt you, your relationship is over. And I think deep down you know it too.”

He struggles, trying to get loose of Armin’s arms but a small voice in is head tells him that maybe he’s right, maybe Levi was just trying to spare most of his feelings and let him down easy. Maybe Armin is just trying to be a good friend and make sure Eren knows that.

Maybe they really are over.

He allows Armin to hold him as he tries to deal with the new thoughts swirling through his head, he might not want to believe them, but he cannot deny that they’re true either. Armin continues to hold him as he sorts through the clutter in his mind. They sit like that for a long time until Armin speaks up again.

“Is that why you’ve been smoking again?”

He’s surprised by the question, but he figures it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s been doing. He probably reeks of cigarette smoke. “You know, in some fucked up way I convinced myself that doing it would make me feel closer to him, to fill some hole that opened up when he left, and yet all I feel is empty. As if I’m a lesser person for doing so.”

“He’s an idiot, Eren.”

Armin releases his hold as Eren pushes back against his hands, wanting to see Armin’s face as he talks. “What?”

He shrugs, as if the answer was obvious. “Levi, he’s an idiot. Sure you guys had conflicting personalities, but if he couldn’t get past that and see the great person that you are than quite frankly he doesn’t deserve you. I know, I haven’t known you for all that long but I don’t think it matters. I like to think that I’m a pretty good judge of character and though you can be hot headed and stubborn most of the time, you have something great to offer. And I think he’s an idiot for not seeing that.”

They stare at each other for a long time; neither making any move to look away as something slowly cliks inside Eren. He raises an eyebrow as he slowly leans in closer, noticing the way Armin does not move back. He sucks in a deep breath.

“A-Armin, do y-you -,”

He doesn’t even let himself finish before his lips have connected with Armin’s. It’s different than what he’s gotten used to, but he finds no dislike within himself. Armin’s lips are small and soft and he kisses slowly as if committing every movement to memory. He compares it to Levi, who comes with a hint of smoke and kisses hard and rough as if he were trying to devour Eren. He finds himself unable to choose which one he prefers and instead allows himself to fall into Armin. 

Armin moves quickly as his hands make their way to the hem of Eren’s sweater and tugs it hurriedly over his head, Eren does the same before lying Armin down on the bed and stretching himself over him, and he can’t help but think it’s unnatural for him to be in this position. He was usually the one who would lie helpless beneath Levi, and though he would try his hand at being dominant from time to time Levi would never allow it. But Eren liked it better that way, not that he would ever admit it of course. Levi knew what he was doing, Eren, not so much. He fumbles as his lips slide over Armin’s collarbones, slowly making their way down his torso. He feels Armin’s hand press against his crotch and start moving, applying pressure to the sensitive area, he moans into the touch before his senses come back to him.

“Armin, I don’t we should -,”

“If you want me to stop I will,” He replies, slowing his hand as he continues to rub it over Eren.

He thinks for a second, still torn between doing this with Armin and trying to make things work with Levi. But maybe Armin’s right, maybe Levi was just trying to let him down easy after all and there really is nothing for him to go back to. He hates to say it, but he’s weak. Weak to the advances of attractive men and so he pushes himself against Armin and allows him to continue.

~~.~~

He had a feeling.

One that told him to stay away from Eren and come back at a later time. He ignored it of course. He knows how bad things are with Eren right now and though he doesn’t want to get back together with him just yet, he still needs to make sure everything is okay between them. He still cares about Eren in that sense.

He walks up to the dorm building, knocking on the door harshly before Mikasa shows up to open it. She looks at him for a long moment, her eyes wide as if she were seeing a ghost.

“I didn’t expect to see you around here.”

He scratches the back of his neck, the feeling he had before about staying away coming back the longer he hesitates at the front door. “Yeah, well I have to speak to Eren.”

She moves to the side, allowing him to enter. “He should be up in his room.”

He thanks her and makes his way up the stairs, the feeling only growing the closer he gets. He walks down the corridor, eager to get there and get this talk over with. He knocks on Eren’s door, slowly pushing it open when he gets no reply. He sighs heavily when he finds it empty and figures it will have to wait for another day as he closes the door and makes his way back down the corridor and that’s when he hears it. Just as he passes the blonde’s room he hears muffled noises coming from within, at any other time he would have ignored it and continued on, but something made him stop. He presses his ear up against the wood to hear better because something sounds familiar. These are not the noises he would have expected to come out of Armin’s room, and not just because people are moaning, it’s the people who are moaning that makes his hands clench into fists.

He tries not to jump to conclusions, but the fact that there are moans coming from Armin’s room and the fact that Eren’s room is empty though Mikasa told him he was up here has Levi’s curiosity spiking. He places his hand on the doorknob turning it slowly to the side, almost laughing when he finds it unlocked. Do people ever lock their doors here? He pushes the door open a crack and peers through. He almost slams it against the wall and demands to know what it going on, because he can’t bring himself to believe what he’s seeing.

Their backs are too him, and so he knows he’s safe. Eren sits on the bed naked, with Armin on top of him moaning as Eren continuously thrusts up into him. Levi stands there for a minute, his brain still trying to catch up with what he’s seeing before he turns on his heel, and runs out the door. He hears the door slam shut but spares no second thought to it as he walks quickly towards the exit of the dorm. Mikasa must have heard him coming and shouts out to him, eager to know how it went, but he spares her no glance as he pushes his way out of the dorm and onto the campus. His breath comes out in pants as he stops to get his bearings, his hand reaches into his back pocket to grab a cigarette before he walks in the direction of his own dorm, the image of Eren and Armin still fresh in his mind.

Eren’s made his decision.

Now Levi can make his.

 


	25. Regrets?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Eren tries to be civil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I'm surprised I've stayed on track for my weekly updates lately.
> 
> This Thursday came out of nowhere! I swear it was Monday like yesterday and I was thinking that I had plenty of time to finish the chapter. Monday was also the day I decided to paint a giant Sting Eucliffe onto my bedroom wall, so most of my time has been dedicated to doing that. It's no where near finished yet, but if any of you by chance want to check it out look up:
> 
> Haberdouche on Instagram! There are a few progress shots on there (:
> 
> Also my best friend ruined my life a little bit when she told me I should listen to BTS (Bangtan Boys) so I don't know if you're into K-pop and such but you should look them up. I recommend listening to No more Dream, Dope, N.O or War of Hormone (:
> 
> Anyway, in reference to the last chapter, I'm so angry at Armin, I mean sure you like Eren, whatever, you just don't have to be a major dick when you're trying to get what you want..
> 
> And Eren, ugh I just can't with you..
> 
> And Levi, you're hopeless..
> 
> Everyone is hopeless and everyone is stupid.. ugh.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter this week and give it a fav/follow or leave a review (:
> 
> P.s. There aren't that many chapters left, so get on board.
> 
> Oh and there is smut ahead!

He really should learn to trust his gut.

Though the mere thought of putting all of his faith into a digestive organ never seemed all that desirable to him. He’d prefer to go with his head, sure it led him wrong on many occasions, but he always saw it as the most reliable source. This time however going with his head was the wrong choice. As soon as he found Eren’s dorm empty he knew something was wrong, his stomach twisted with unease and yet his head still urged him to uncover what he already knew. He wishes now, as he stands outside his dorm building that he had just come back another time.

He’s not sure if he would have felt different, if he had only heard about what happened as opposed to seeing it firsthand. He may not have believed it and asked for the details to come straight from Eren. But he had seen it, seen with his own eyes Eren and Armin naked on the bed, there is no room for questions, no room for second chances. It was just over.

Done.

Levi isn’t forgiving by nature. Could never see someone the same way after they had betrayed him. He gets that he should let people off the hook easier, allow them to live down what they did. But he could never look at them again without thinking about their wrong doings. Sure he could say that he forgives them and everything could continue on as normal, but he would always be expecting them to turn around and betray him again. He can’t live like that.

He won’t.

He grabs another cigarette from the pack in his back pocket and brings it to his lips, lighting it and allowing the harsh smoke to fill his lungs. He amuses himself by trying to picture a future with Eren, but he gets nothing but a flurry of images that show Eren ruining it in some way. Though he’s not that big of an asshole to actually believe that this was all caused by Eren. No, he knows he’s half to blame. He knows now that he should have been more clear, either by cutting the relationship off completely or explaining to Eren what he meant by a break when the brunette had stood there in confusion.

He understands Eren’s frustrations when he holds back from him. He can see where he’s coming from and he wants to give him everything, and yet every time he’s about to, to finally open up, he stops himself. Because why would Eren want to know those parts of him? Levi’s not a horrible enough person to place all of his damage onto someone. And even though Eren asked him to on many occasions, he just can’t.

~~.~~

Eren lies beside Armin on the tiny bed staring up at the ceiling, a million thoughts race through his head and yet he can only see one person’s face. Levi stares at him with an expression that Eren can only describe as complete and utter betrayal. He’s not sure why he decided to conjure up that image, but now he’s seen it he can’t seem to make it go away.

He knows he doesn’t really have a reason to feel guilty, Levi was the one who broke up with him, and yet his stomach turns in the aftermath of his and Armin’s mistake. He never meant to take advantage of Armin’s feelings for him, hell he didn’t even know there were any feelings to speak of before it happened. Armin is unusually quite as he lies next to him, he’s facing the other way so Eren can’t see his face and he feels that’s a good thing. He has no desire to know what Armin is thinking at this very moment. 

He sits up quickly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he searches for his pants. He finds them in a discarded heap next to Armin’s draws and pulls them on hastily. He’s standing next to the bed pulling his shoes on when Armin rolls over to look at him, his eyes shining with tears.

“Eren.”

Eren’s stomach twists painfully at the sad tone of Armin’s voice. He stares at him, trying to convey with his eyes just how sorry he is, he didn’t mean for this to happen.

“Armin, I’m sorry I have to go,” He makes his way to the door noticing that it is ajar, he’s sure he closed it earlier. He puts the thought out of his head and turns back to Armin who’s still staring at him. “We will talk about this later, I promise.”

Armin nods slowly, his eyes lighting up just a bit. Eren gives him a small smile before exiting the room.

As soon as he closes the door his eyes begin to water, he’s not sure if it’s due to guilt, disappointment within him or sadness, but he allows his tears to flow down his cheeks as he makes his way down the hall to his own dorm.

He grabs the necessities for a shower and heads into the common bathrooms. He’s relieved to find them empty and quickly turns the one furthest away from the door on and stands under the warm stream as he tries to collect his thoughts. He thinks about Armin, how had he been so oblivious to his best friend’s feelings for him and why now of all times did he feel the need to act on it. Sure Eren was hurting, but now he’s hurt his best friend, again. Because Armin has to know that it was a rebound, Eren was hurt and confused and Armin was there with a gentle smile and warm body and he just couldn’t help himself.

He’s not sure how he’s supposed to face Levi again, he knows that the second he sees him he’ll remember this day. He’ll remember sleeping with Armin to get rid of his own pain. He’ll feel the guilt that is almost consuming him and he’s not sure he will be able to handle it. Though that’s all assuming he will see Levi again, sure they go to the same school and their dorms aren’t that far away from each other, but he knows if Levi wants to avoid him it would certainly be possible for him to do so.

He gets out of the water, pulling on fresh clothes and makes his way back to his room. He dumps his dirty clothes and toiletries onto his bed and makes his way down the stairs, there’s only one thing he needs right now, one thing he can depend on. And that’s coffee. He walks into the common room noticing Mikasa sitting on the couch leaning over a pile of open books in front of her; she doesn’t notice him so he takes the chance to slip by her into the kitchen. He begins making his coffee and only minutes later as he stands by the kettle waiting impatiently for it to boil Mikasa walks in and sits on one of the stools. He pretends not to notice her as he walks to the fridge to get the milk and a mug from the cupboard beside it. He places them back on the bench and taps his fingers against his arm as he waits. He has no desire to talk to Mikasa about the pain her cousin is causing him.

“Are you actually going to ignore me?” She asks her tone sad as she stares at the brunette. He says nothing, doesn’t even show that he heard at her words at all. She sighs looking down at the bench in front of her. “Or is it that you’re trying to ignore your feelings?”

He tenses up at that, why can everyone see through him so easily, everyone but the one person who matters. The one person who he wishes he could lay himself bare to, though he’s sure even if he were to do that Levi would still remain oblivious to his feelings.

“Did something happen just now?”

His eyes flick over to look at her, surely she doesn’t know about what happened between Armin and him, there was no way. He tenses up again, waiting to go on the defensive as she continues talking.

“Because he ran out of here in a rush, completely ignoring me, and now you’re out here giving me the silent treatment. I just want to know what happened, I want to help you two.”

“Mikasa what are you talking about? Armin’s still up in his room,” He shuts his mouth when she gives him an odd look.

“Armin? What? What are you talking about, Eren?”

He leans back against the counter, but remains staring at her. “What are you talking about?”

She gives him another confused look before explaining. “Levi. He said he came here to see you, and then a few minutes later he came rushing back down the stairs and hoofed it right out of the dorms. I tried to ask him what happened, but like I said, he ignored me.”

Oh.

“Fuck.”

He didn’t mean for the word to escape his mouth as he feels as if the walls are crashing down on him. Levi must have seen, he had to. Eren remembers vaguely hearing the sound of a door slamming but he had put it out of his mind to focus on more pressing things. So the door being slightly open afterwards is understandable. The room spins as the realisation of what’s happened slams into him full force, causing him to grab the counter tightly with both hands to keep from falling to the floor. Mikasa stands quickly her hands outstretched to help him but he waves her off.

“Eren, are you sure you’re okay?” The concern in her voice almost makes him cringe. How could she show so much affection for a guy like him, after what he’s done?

“Mikasa, I -,” He starts weakly before realising there is no way he can tell her what happened. He stands up straight, looking her in the eye and leaves his coffee behind.

“I need to go get some air.”

He leaves before she has anytime to question him. He walks until he reaches the hill at the back of the campus and sits down on the damp grass. He thinks about the time they all came to set off crackers and the great time he had just sitting with Levi, back when everything was still pretty screwed up, but he would give anything to go back there now. He’d give anything to stop this from happening.

~~.~~

He throws his burnt out cigarette onto the ground and puts it out with his shoe before entering the dorm building. He walks up the stairs to the first level, heading straight towards dorm room 109, he knows he’s going to regret this later, and yet that realisation doesn’t do anything to stop him. He knocks firmly on the door and enters when he hears a feminine voice tell him it’s unlocked. He closes the door behind him, his hand hesitating over the lock. He’s tempted to leave it unlocked, just in the off chance Eren might walk by and witness what Levi had witnessed only minutes ago. But after thinking there is only a slim chance of Eren coming to Petra’s room, he turns the lock and joins her where she sits cross legged on her neatly made bed.

“Levi?”

He hasn’t come around here much since he started seeing Eren, so he shouldn’t be surprised that Petra is surprised that he’s here.

“Hey,” He says simply looking down at his hands, feeling awkward as he tries to find a way to do this.

She cocks her head as she stares at him sitting in front of her. He looks off, as if something heavy is troubling him. “Are you okay?” She asks, as her hand comes to rest on his knee.

He looks up at her, he had not realised his inner turmoil was noticeable from the outside. He laughs darkly at the way everything got so screwed up. “No.”

She shifts herself closer to him, her hand still resting upon his knee. “I knew you getting involved with him would only cause you pain.” She invades his personal space pressing herself against his side and wrapping her arms around his body. “I wish that you hadn’t.”

Even though he came here with one thought in mind he still feels as though he should be stopping Petra’s advances. But he feels as close too safe as he ever thinks he will circled in her arms. They both know where they stand with each other, and it puts Levi at ease knowing that he can come back to her even after all he’s done and she will accept him with open arms. In a way he guesses he’s taking advantage of her affection, and yet he could never bring himself to apologize for his actions.

He turns his head to face her, her brown eyes stare wide eyed at him and he can’t find any reason to stop. He leans forward just sightly before she takes the hint and brings her lips up to meet his. It’s tender and safe and Levi feels as if he’s coming home, as if he had been denying himself the one thing that would allow him to feel whole. But he still can’t stop himself from comparing the feeling of being with Petra to being with Eren. Eren who constantly puts him on edge, who is not safe, but despite that Levi still felt strong attraction, still found himself going back time and time again.

But this time is different, everything is different now. Levi saw him and there is no going back. He leans back slightly as Petra climbs onto his lap, straddling him with one leg on each side. She joins their lips again, her tongue sliding easily into his mouth as she deepens the kiss. She moans lowly as she feels his response and grinds her hips down into his. She moves her head to the side, running her lips up the side of his neck before coming to hover just over his ear.

“I’ve been waiting for you to come back. Waiting for you to realise that you don’t need him.” She places her lips on his cheek as her hands begin to toy with the hem of his shirt as she brings it over his head. And though her words make his teeth grind together, he can’t bring himself to push her away; this is what he came here for after all. He lifts his arms allowing her to remove the shirt before leaning back slightly as she removes her own. He’s thankful she’s so eager to do this; otherwise he’s not sure what he’d do. Wallow in self-pity locked in his room no doubt.

He runs his hands up her sides, revelling slightly in the way her body shudders under his fingertips. He leans forward placing his lips against her stomach; they ghost over her skin as his hands reach around her back to unclasp her bra. She moves her arms allowing the garment to fall from her fingertips. She smiles down at him, he tries to return it but he’s sure it’s still not the loving smile that she wishes to see. He places his hands on her hips and shifts their position once more as he lies her back down against the bed. His lips latch onto her collarbones, sucking harshly and probably leaving red marks that she’ll have to cover up later. He moves down further, his lips leaving a wet trail as he goes. He places his fingers into the tight pants she is wearing and pulls them and her underwear down harshly. She moves her hips helping him to bring the fabric down her legs faster. He begins to lean down only to be pushed back by her small hands, he looks at her curiously but she ignores him as she moves to kneel in front of him on the bed.

She places her hand over his crotch, pressing down firmly, pride rushing through her as a groan escapes his lips. She undoes his jeans, patting his hips playfully to get him to lift them; she pulls them off him when there’s enough room before placing her thin fingers into the waistband of his underwear. She toys with it slightly, revelling in the way he bucks his hips up, urging her to do something. She refuses, this is the fun part. She leans down breathing heavily over the material causing him to shudder under her, she’s quite content with her teasing when a hand comes up to tangle in her hair harshly.

“For fucks sake, Petra. Just do something already,” His hard voice is broken by harsh pants as she works her hand slowly over him. She smirks at his words, revelling in the control she has over him in times like this. Levi who is usually so cold and uninterested in everything around him reduced to a pleading mess after just a few touches. She loves it.

She’s more interesting in toying with him at this time but she knows if she keeps it up for much longer she’ll be paying for it later, so she puts her hands into the band of his underwear and pull them down his legs. He doesn’t have time to react to the cool air in the room before his dick is surrounded by the warm heat of Petra’s mouth. She stares up at him as she moves her head up and down taking him in as much as she can and placing her hand around the base when it’s too much. She pulls back to breathe over him, before teasingly licking the tip. He groans and she smirks again around him, she knows just what he likes. He places his hands on her head urging her to go faster; she relaxes her mouth more and allows him to push her head in a rhythm that is best for him. She groans as he hits the back of her throat before he pulls her head off completely and urges her to lie back on the bed. He looks to the side as she hands him something, he inwardly sighs thankful that she was thinking ahead as he slides the condom onto himself. He leans over her again as they both stare into each other’s eyes before she groans as his fingers begin to stroke her. He grins at how responsive she is at the slightest touches, urging him to insert two fingers and thrust upwards. She groans as he begins a steady rhythm, her hands clutching the sheets beneath her as her muscles begin to contract at the pleasure.

He feels her tightening, close to release when he removes his fingers and repositions himself over her. She’s unable to voice her annoyance due to her harsh panting, and for that Levi is thankful. He thrusts into her, both of them let out groans at the action, he begins to move immediately knowing that Petra would demand he do it anyway. She’s never been very patient. He leans over her, burying he face into the side of her neck as he quickens his thrusts. He doesn’t try to kiss her during and he’s sure that fact annoys her, but he feels it would be too intimate. So instead he places his lips against her neck as his breath fans over her skin.

They’ve done this so many times there is no need to ask her if she’s okay, if this or that feels good. He knows her body. He knows what will make her shake and moan and call out his name. There’s no denying that they are good together, but she’s not what he wants.

Not even close.

He quickens his thrusts as he feels her tighten and shake under him. She lets out a long moan and he knows she’s cum. He thrusts harder into her, wanting to get to the same place she is. He feels his stomach clenching and with one more thrust forward he cums shuddering as it courses through his body. He rests his forehead against hers as he slowly thrusts, riding it out before he pulls out, discards the dirty condom and lies down next to her.

They lay in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts before she turns onto her side to look at him.

“Were you thinking about Eren?”

He’s shocked by her bluntness, and when he turns to her he expects to see disappointment or perhaps even hate, but all he sees is curiosity and it makes his stomach twist painfully.

“No,” He replies after a second, because he wasn’t, not in the way she means anyway.

She looks away from him up to the ceiling, her expression sad. “It’s okay if you were, there’s nothing I could do about it,” She sighs heavily. “I mean it’s partly my fault, I know what I was getting myself into when I fell for you. I always knew that you didn’t feel the same way, but I decided I would take anything I could get from you, even if it’s not exactly what I want.” She turns to face him again, her eyes brimming with tears. “At least I get to have moments like this with you, every now and again.”

His stomach twists painfully again at the sadness in her voices. He wishes he could give her what she wants, wishes that he could give Eren what he wants, but he can’t, it’s as if there is something missing inside of him. There’s something wrong. He lifts his hand and places it on her cheek as he looks into her eyes. She leans into the touch closing her eyes, loving how warm and smooth his palm is.

“I’m sorry, Petra.”

Those words make her open her eyes again, before she smiles, and though it’s sad and doesn’t reach her eyes neither of them say anything else.

Because this is all they get.

~~.~~

“Eren!”

Oh god, no. Anyone but her. He keeps his head down pretending that he doesn’t hear her.

“Eren!”

Just stop.

He feels a tap on his shoulder and he shudders wishing she’d just go away.

“Hey, Eren. Did you not hear me calling you?” Her voice is so sweet he’s almost convinced she’s actually a nice person.

“Oh sorry, Petra. I guess I was in my own world there,” He replies, cringing at his own words.

“Oh, well that’s okay. You mind if I sit with you?”

Yes.

She doesn’t wait for an answer as she sits herself down across the table from him. She says nothing as she looks at him; he tries to keep eye contact but her piercing gaze puts him on edge.

“Can I help you with something?”

She clasps her hands together on the table as she leans towards him slightly. “Not really. I just came to see how you’re doing.”

He almost scoffs. “Why would you care?”

She leans back, one hand dramatically flailing over her heart in mock offense. “Oh Eren, how harsh. I take time out of my day to see how you’re dealing without Levi, and this is how you treat me,” He rolls his eyes as she smirks, leaning towards him again as if to share a secret. “You know I can see why he left you, you’re very untrusting of people.”

Her words make his teeth clench. “Well you’ve never given me a reason to trust you.”

“Hm, well that’s too bad because I have a secret to tell you.”

“What?”

She sits back again, pouting at his tone. “Well I don’t think I want to tell you if you’re going to use that tone with me.”

He hits his fist harshly against the metal of the table causing it to rattle loudly. “Quit with the act and just tell me.”

She smirks again, loving how easy he is to rile up. “Well well well, you should really keep that temper in check, Eren. That could cause you some trouble down the road.”

He breathes in deeply, trying to find what little control he has to calm himself down. “Please, just tell me what you came here for.”

“Actually I wanted to thank you.”

“What?”

“I said I wanted to thank you. Thank you for putting your dick into that little blonde and ruining any chance you had with Levi. Thank you for driving him back into my arms, it was the best fuck I’ve had in a long time.”

He stands abruptly, looking down at her with frightened eyes. “You’re lying.”

“I told you this would happen, Eren. I said you’d do something to make him leave you, and I was right. And just like always he took comfort in me, because he knows I would never hurt him, not like you.”

He can’t believe what he’s hearing, he’d known since he’d talked to Mikasa that Levi knew about him and Armin, but now to find out that Levi had gone straight to Petra he doesn’t know what to think. The guilt that has been consuming him since that day rises up within him to the point that he feels physically sick. What has he done?

He turns on his heel without another word scared he might vomit and not wanting to do that anywhere near Petra, where she could taunt him more. He manages to make it behind a building before he’s doubled over retching at as the vile liquid forces its way out of his throat.

How did this happen?

For once he has no idea how he can fix anything.

~~.~~

“Are you stupid? Or are you just trying to hurt Eren even more?”

His eyes darken at her words, how is this any business of hers?

“Tell me, Levi. What exactly is it that you’re trying to do?”

His hand clench at the harshness in her tone. “This isn’t my fault, it’s -,”

“Bullshit! You know Levi I have stuck by you so many times, I’ve always been on your side. But this time,” She shakes her head as if not believing what’s happened. “Damn you’ve really screwed this up.” She looks at him, unable to recognise the guy that she used to know.

“Have you seen him lately? Have you seen how much this has broken him?”

Of course he’s seen him. It’s impossible not to when he seems to be everywhere he goes. “Yes.”

“And yet you haven’t spoken to him.” It’s not a question because she already knows the answer.

“No okay! I haven’t spoken to him. After what he did I can hardly look at him.”

“You did the same to him,” She reminds him.

He can’t believe what he’s hearing, she’s his friend. She’s supposed to be on his side. “After, Hange. I did it after I saw him.”

“That doesn’t mean anything, Levi, you know that. The fact is you hurt him; you can’t blame him for taking comfort after he thought you didn’t want him. Your acting was so good that he legitimately thought that you were through with him, that you never cared for him. You only have yourself to blame for that.”

He can’t argue because he knows she’s right. “Have you spoken to him?”’

She sighs sadly. “Yes, he mentions you a lot. And if you’re going to take one thing from this conversation on board please let it be this. I think you’re window of opportunity is closing with him; he’s beginning to question if you’re actually the one he wants to be with. He knows about you and Petra, she told him and he also knows that you saw him with Armin. I urged him to talk to you about it, but he’s as stubborn as ever. So for everyone’s sake, please Levi, just let him know how you feel.”

That’s easier said than done.

~~.~~

It was decided, Eren would go speak to him. Even though Levi had made no move over the last two weeks to contact him, he could be the bigger person. And he was going to be, because he couldn’t live like this. He wouldn’t admit it easily but he’d come up with and rehearsed everything that he wanted to say to Levi about everything that has happened. And not just since the breakup, no he wanted to talk about every single thing that has ever caused a bump in their relationship, and he was going to do it.

He was going to do it tonight.

He checks himself quickly in the tiny mirror on his wall before realising how ridiculous he was being and heads out of his dorm. It’s just a little after nine when he passes the common room and sticks his head in, Mikasa and Armin sit on the large couch watching a movie as they pass a back of chips between them.

“I’ll see you guys later.”

They both turn quickly to look at him, surprised that he’s actually doing this.

“You’re really going through with this then?” Mikasa asks, worried that things might not go the way Eren has planned out in his head.

“Of course,” He smiles, trying to let them know that everything is okay, but from the looks on both their faces, it isn’t very convincing. “I’ll let you know how it goes.” He says with a wave before he’s out the door heading for Levi.

He walks through the night determined and hopeful towards the dorms. He’s eager to get this over and done with, and if at the end of the day they can’t work things out then he’ll be fine, because at least he’ll know where they both stand and he can move on. Though the very thought of this outcome makes his stomach hurt, but he knows if that’s what Levi wants he’ll just have to accept it. He stops outside the dorm and knocks quickly on the glass.

He waits, jumping from foot to foot for someone to open the door and let him in. Not a minute later a person who he’s never seen before comes to the door, peering at him curiously.

“Can I help you?”

He’s not used to anyone by Levi’s friends opening the door for him.

“Ah, I’m just here to see someone,” He replies, eager to get past.

“Who?”

“Why is that any of your business?” Is this person serious?

“Do you want to be let in or not?” They ask a smirk on their lips as they cross their arms over their chest.

He looks from them to the gap in the door and back, pretty convinced that he can just push them out of the way. But decides it’s probably better to go the civil approach.

“Come on, I’m just here to see one of my friends. We’ve got a paper due tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday, but nice try,” The guy laughs in response.

“Okay, whatever.”

The guy is about to respond when Eren pushes his way past him and into the building, running up the stairs to Levi’s floor without looking back. He’s panting slightly as he reaches the door; he waits for his breathing to get under control before knocking. He waits for only a few seconds before the door is being pulled open and Levi is standing front of him. Levi’s eyes widen when he realises who’s standing in front of him.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, leaning against the doorframe.

“I want to talk to you,” He’s thankful that his voice doesn’t shake. His nerves have finally caught up to him, causing his throat to go dry.

Levi stares at him for a moment before moving his body, allowing Eren to enter his dorm. He hears the door close behind him as he makes his way into the small kitchen; he stops by the table and draws in a deep breath before turning to face Levi again. It’s now or never. 

“I wanted to talk to you about us,” He says in a rush, wanting this to be over.

Levi raises his eyebrow at him. “Us? There is no us, Eren.”

The words hurt, they really did. “Well yeah I know that,” He laughs awkwardly to hide his nerves. “But there could be.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Okay, so I’ve been going over everything that went wrong with us and I honestly believe that despite everything we can still make this work,” They may have been the words of a hopeful child, but he believed them nonetheless.

Levi stares at him for a moment, torn between comforting Eren and laughing at his naivety. He does neither. “You really think so?”

Eren’s eyes light up at Levi’s words, perhaps this won’t be so hard after all. “Of course. Sure we’ve had some setbacks bu-,”

“Setbacks?” Levi snaps, causing Eren to flinch. “You call what’s been going on in the last few months a few setbacks?”

Eren scratches the back of his neck embarrassed.

“Well maybe a bit more extreme than a few setbacks, but still despite that we can do this Levi.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no, Eren.”

“Levi, I-I don’t understand,” He stutters, moving closer to him.

Levi sighs, hating that he has to explain everything to him. “I told you that I was beginning to feel something for you, and at the time that was true. But afterwards you practically attacked my friends, and I’m not saying that they didn’t provoke you, I’m not that oblivious to their faults, but they don’t like you Eren -,”

“I don’t care if they don’t like me,” He interrupts; annoyed at the fact that Levi is bringing his friends into this.

“I do. And if I were to go off these last two weeks to decide if I want to be with you, then my answer is no. No I don’t.”

“You broke up with me! You can’t use these last few weeks as the basis for your decision,” He yells.

“Eren, I didn’t break up with you. I told you I needed space, some time to get my thoughts together. I didn’t tell you to go fuck Armin!”

“So that’s what this is about? The fact that you hurt me so badly I chose to take comfort in my best friend to stop myself from doing something worse. And what’s your excuse? You fucked Petra after that! And the thing is you know how manipulative she is, you know she can’t stand me and yet you chose to hurt me, again, by sleeping with her. So who’s really to blame for this?” Eren yells, angry enough to make Levi hurt.

“Don’t you dare,” Levi warns, his voice low.

 “No, shut up,” Eren spits. “I know that I’ve made my fair share of mistakes; I’m not saying that I’m a perfect person. But you’ve made mistakes that have been just as bad as mine.” He yells, getting frustrated that they can’t just talk this out.

“I know that, I’m not saying that I haven’t,”

“Then what’s the problem? Why don’t we work?” His voice still loud in the small room.

“Because I can’t trust you, Eren!” He yells back, finally voicing the one point that has been stopping him for getting close to Eren.

“Levi, you can’t trust anybody,” It’s the way that he says it that causes Levi’s anger to rise. As if he knows everything.

“Yeah, with good reason,” He scoffs; waiting for the chance he can kick Eren out of here.

“Then tell me what the reason is,” Eren’s pleading voice takes Levi off guard as the brunette steps forward and grabs onto his wrists. “Open up to me for once. Let me in. Let me help you.”

This is his chance, the one chance he might have to finally tell him. Hange told him to just let Eren know, to tell him everything that he’s feeling and yet when he goes to say the words his own tongue betrays him as he responds in a dull voice. “No.”

Eren’s expression goes blank as it registers in his head what Levi said, how final that one word is. “So that’s it? That’s your final answer? There is absolutely nothing I can do, nothing I can say to make us work?”

The empty tone of Eren’s words cause Levi to rethink his words as Eren lets go of his wrists.

“No! Dammit Eren. Stop this.” He yells, he just needs a second, just one to collect his thoughts. Eren doesn’t give it to him.

“Stop what, Levi? You’re the one who can’t open up to me, you can’t even trust me and yet you make me the bad guy every fucking time. I can’t take this anymore. I came over here because I wanted to talk things through with you, and if things ended I wanted them to end on a good note. But I can’t do this with you!”

He can feel it building up inside him and it’s terrifying. He feels out of control, as if one wrong word will cause him to snap. He can hear Levi yelling something in reply to his outburst and then everything goes quiet. He stares at Levi his eyes wide open in shock as he takes in his expression.

He doesn’t know what happened. One minute his hand was clenched tightly at his side, his fingernails digging painfully into his palm, his anger rising as Levi continues to undermine him, to make everything his fault. And the next his fist had raised and connecting with Levi’s cheek hard enough to make the shorter man stumble back a step. His hand automatically rises to his cheek, his eyes wide in what Eren can only describe as horror; as he stares up at the brunette who wishes desperately that he could take back the last minute.


	26. Flinch?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where everyone(including Eren) knows Eren fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so because I hardly ever leave the house the ol' days get a but jumbled together and I didn't realise it was Wednesday today. So I rushed the last half of this chapter a little bit, but I think it's still okay.
> 
> Anyway so I came to the realisation the other day that this story is actually almost over. I'd say there are probably about two or three ACTUAL story chapters, and then there will be an EPILOGUE and so far I have TWO EXTRA CHAPTERS. One of these will be uploaded the week after next and will outline Levi's past. The second I will be posting after the epilogue is up and it will focus on Jean and Marco. I may write others in the mean time focusing on the other characters, but it all depends on inspiration.
> 
> So I hope you enjoy this weeks chapter. Don't forget to leave a comment, or give it a kudos.
> 
> Everything is appreciated (:

Before Eren would have thought that Levi’s horrific expression was due to the punch he had not expected to receive, he did not expect Levi to cower away from him in fear, his hand still holding his quickly bruising cheek. Eren takes a step forward, his hand outstretched towards Levi, he winces realising it’s the same hand that he used to hurt him.

“Levi, I’m so -,” His voice shakes with guilt.

Levi takes another step away from him, turning his face away so Eren can no longer see the damage he’d done.

“Don’t!” He cries out, causing Eren to stop in his tracks. “Don’t come near me.”

“Levi, I don’t even know why I did that. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t even thinking, I just reacted. I am so so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you I swear.” He wants to move closer to the man, but he remains rooted to the spot as he knows in this moment Levi would never allow it.

Levi doesn’t look at him, which only makes him feel worse. How could be have done this? He hadn’t even been thinking. He hadn’t meant to hurt him, but that’s exactly what he’s done. And he’d had to do it in the worse possible way.

He lowers his voice, trying to sound as non-threatening as possible. “Levi, please just look at me.”

It’s a moment before Levi makes any move to show that he heard him. He lifts his head slowly, letting his hand fall away from his face to hang by his side. He lifts his eyes to meet Eren’s, the brunette’s breath catches in his throat as he stares into Levi’s eyes. He’d expected to find pain, confusion even, and though he’d hate himself for it he knew he’d have to do everything in his power to make things right with Levi. What he doesn’t know how to handle is the pure hate that stares back at him; it’s as if the grey eyes are seeing through him, as if he may have not been standing in the room at all.

He moves again, taking a slow step towards Levi, making sure to keep both his hands down by his sides. When Levi allows him to take the step a flicker of hope alights inside of him, causing him to boldly take another step. Its then that Levi moves back, causing the space between them to widen. Eren stops abruptly, staring at Levi with pleading eyes. He opens his mouth to speak again, only for Levi to harshly cut him off.

“Get out, Eren Yeager.”

The fact that Levi has reverted back to calling him by his full name makes his stomach flip. The reason for Levi calling him by his full name again, a name that he hasn’t called him by since Levi first mentioned some of his true feelings, makes Eren realise that he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

He tries to move again, but Levi puts his hand up and it’s then that Eren realises that the man is shaking. Did it really affect him that much? A fresh wave of guilt washes over Eren as he turns around, knowing that for now there is nothing he can do to convince Levi that he’s sorry. He opens the door quickly and rushes out of the building, knowing there is only one other place he wants to be.

~~.~~

Armin hadn’t expected to see Eren tonight. Not after hearing his plans to sort things out with Levi. Yet here he was standing in the common room doorway with tears streaking down his face. He gives Mikasa a quick glance before getting up quickly and rushing over to his best friend’s side.

He pushes the hair off of Eren’s face and forces him to look up.

“Eren, what happened?”

Eren meets his eyes, but a loud sob stops him from voicing a response.

Armin leads him over to the couch he was just occupying and forces him to sit down, before kneeling himself in front of him.

“Eren please, tell us what happened.”

Eren looks at him through glassy eyes. The obvious sadness in his eyes pulls at Armin’s heartstrings and he has to restrain himself from throwing his arms around the man and crushing him to his chest. When Eren remains silent, Armin takes it to mean that Eren has been hurt, that Levi has done something inexcusable, and Armin cannot forgive that.

His expression turns hard as he stares at his crying and broken friend.

“What did he do to you?”

Eren’s eyes snap up in horror, fresh tears falling faster down his red, tear stained cheeks.

The look on Armin’s face terrifies him, he knows that Armin would do anything for him, but right now there was nothing for him to do. The only person in the wrong here is Eren. He can’t allow anyone to think anything else.

“No. It’s my fault,” He whispers.

“What do you mean your fault? He must have done something big if you’re crying your eyes out,” Armin responds, his face still set in a hard mask.

“We got into a fight and things got out of hand and I -,” He’s unable to finish his sentence as he buries his head in his hands, no longer able to look his friend in the eye.

“What did you do, Eren?” Mikasa’s stern voices startles him, he’d forgotten she was in the room.

“I didn’t mean to, I mean I don’t even remember doing it. It all happened so fast, and he was so scared. I’ve never seen him look like that before. And it’s all because of me,” He stares right into her eyes, pleading for her to understand.

Her face remains blank as she gets up from her seat and walks slowly over to him. She reaches him, but does not kneel before him like Armin, instead she remains standing, looming over top of him with hard eyes.

“What did you do, Eren?”

He flinches back at her tone, no longer thinking that she will understand. Though why should she? He did it, and there is no going back. He shifts his gaze to Armin who is looking at him with a mix of confusion and worry. He’s not able to look at his friend for more than a few seconds, not after what he’d done, and shifts his gaze back to Mikasa.

“I hit him,” He lowers his head in shame as the words leave his lips, but not before seeing the blazing anger in her dark eyes.

“You did what?” She doesn’t yell, but the hateful tone in her voice makes Eren wish that she had.

He stares back up at her with so much regret, but it does nothing to quench her fury. “I swear to god Mikasa, I didn’t mean to. We were fighting, god it seems so stupid now, and he wasn’t taking anything seriously, and I just,” He stops, running his hands through his hair as he recalls the incident. “I don’t even remember doing it; one second we were yelling and the next my fist connected with his cheek. He was terrified. I tried to make things right, I really tried, but he wouldn’t even let me near him.”

Both his friends stare at him as if he were a stranger. Eren’s hand feels cold as he realises Armin has released it, all comforting touches between them have ceased. He feels more tears falling from his eyes, there’s so many that they no longer run down his cheeks and instead fall straight onto his arms that lie limp in his lap. His mind is running a mile a minute as he tries to think up the words that will make them understand.

“I don’t understand what happened.”

“You know exactly what happened, Eren,” Mikasa’s voice harsh voice reaches him as he stares back up at her. “You got mad and you hit him, so don’t you dare sit here and say that you don’t understand that.”

“Mikasa, I swear to god I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“It doesn’t matter now what you meant to happen,” She pauses, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. He had not expected her to look so pained. She looks back down at him, her eyes a mix of anger and pity. “I hope you don’t plan on trying to get back together with him, because you have no idea what you’ve done.”

She turns around quickly and walks out of the common room; he watches her go with her final words swirling around in his mind. He turns slowly back to Armin whose gaze as glazed over as he stares at Eren with disappointment.

“Armin, please. You have to believe me,” He pleads, reaching out for his friends touch.

Armin flinches back slightly. Eren’s lowers his eyes away from him, no longer wanting to see the disappointment stretched clear across Armin’s face. Armin registers Eren’s mood and works hard to make his face neutral.

“Eren, I’m sorry. I just -,” Knowing no words will help to assure Eren, he sits up placing his arms around the brunette and holds him tight against his chest. Eren immediately wraps his own arms around him, snuggling closer to the warmth that his friend is bringing to him.

“Armin, you have to believe me. I didn’t mean to, I don’t even know what happened. But he looked so scared, I just screwed everything up, and I don’t know what to do,” He continues mumbling against Armin’s chest. The blonde brings him closer to him, not being able to do anything but hold him.

~~.~~

The door slams on its hinges as Eren flees the room. Levi remains standing for a minute staring where he had just exited before he slumps defeated against the wall. He brings his legs up into his chest, circling his arms around them and hides his face in between his knees. Though he doesn’t want to, tells himself repeatedly that the things from the past no longer affect him, a sob rips its way out of his throat and into the emptiness of the room. He feels the wetness of his cheeks as tears flow heavily from his eyes that are scrunched tightly shut. The sting in his cheek seems to have spread rapidly, now causing a harsh throbbing to rattle in his skull. He has no energy to wipe his tears away, no energy, no motivation, and no desire to do anything but sit huddled against the wall.

Images begin to flood his mind of a time he would much rather forget. An image of a man so strict, so unloving that Levi shudders at the thought of him even now. How is it that his life is this way? He thought years ago when he ran from his family that this was behind him. The day he met Hange and Erwin was the day he knew everything was going to change. Sure it took him a while to open up to them, to rely on them as one does a friend. He’d never been allowed friends. But things got better.

Of course he can’t blame other people for who he is, sure they had a large hand in it, but ultimately in the end it always came down to him. To him not opening up, to not allowing people to see past the indifferent façade he put up. It’s a defence mechanism and he knows that, but he could never seem to find a way to put it down. Eren of course was one person he could never understand, he could never determine what the guy was going to do next. And that very thought intrigued him as much as it terrified him. The fact that he couldn’t determine what Eren would do or say next means he’s not safe, Levi doesn’t know him well enough to confide in him, but of course that’s as much Levi’s fault as it is Eren’s.

Though Levi never expected this.

Not from Eren.

Sure he was rash and stubborn and has one the worst anger management problems Levi has ever seen, but he knows that Eren didn’t mean to do what he did. And yet the realisation of that fact is not enough to stop his body from shaking as he recalls the moment it happened over and over again.

He’s not sure how long he sits there huddled on the floor, his body shaking uncontrollably as he tries desperately to calm himself down. He doesn’t need anybody to see him like this. His arm muscles begin to twinge with fatigue causing him to let his legs fall straight in front of him. He remains sitting his legs outstretched in front of him, head hanging low and eyes staring at nothing when he hears voices drifting from the corridor.

“Do you think we should just go in?” Erwin’s low voice asks, Levi’s not used to hearing the man sound so unsure. He doesn’t like it.

“Uh maybe,” Another voice responses sounding just as unsure. He hears the rattle of the doorhandle moving as someone begins to turn it.

No please don’t come in here.

“Come on, it’s open.”

He hears the door swing open followed by footsteps making their way towards him. He wishes they’d turn around, just go back out the way they came and leave him alone, he doesn’t need them to see how weak he is.

“Levi?” The footsteps draw closer. “Levi? Are you in here?” He doesn’t want to talk to them.

He hears the footsteps stop, but makes no move to look up. He knows they’re standing there in front of him, knows that they can see how pathetic he is as he sits on the floor, his face red and puffy even after his tears have stopped falling.

“Levi!” Hange’s voice is a shriek as she runs over to him, crumping on the floor herself and flails her hands around him with worry. “What are you doing? What happened?” Her questions come out like rapid fire but he has no strength to answer them, he continues staring at the floor attempting to hide what he’s sure is a growing bruise over his cheek.

She places her hands on his shoulders gently causing him to flinch away from her. She breaks the contact, bringing her hands back against her body quickly and sighs. “Oh Levi.”

He brings his knees back up to his chest, feeling too exposed under their harsh eyes. “Go away.”

Hange’s eyes open in surprise before she leans in closer to him. “What did you say?”

He breathes in a shaky breath, trying to put his usual hardness into his words. “I said, go away. I don’t want you here.”

She puts her hands back on his shoulders, not caring when he flinches a second time. “That’s too bad. We’re going to stay here until you tell us what just happened!” She sits back slightly trying to look at his face, though the long parts of his hair obscure her vision. “We saw Eren run out of here completely distraught, and now we find you here sitting on the floor,” She sighs harshly. “You better not have gone off at him again. You better not be sitting here feeling sorry for yourself.”

Her words make his teeth grind against each other harshly, causing his jaw to ache from the pressure. She knows nothing. As if he would sit cowering on the floor if Eren just went off at him, words he can handle, he just shouts them right back if need be, but -. But he can’t handle this. He lifts his head quickly staring right at Hange with venomous eyes. “Don’t come in here acting like you know everything! You know nothing about what just happened! Don’t come in here and jump down my fucking throat because you think I did something to Eren!”

They both stare at him as he pants slightly to catch his breath, there’s no mistaking that they see what he was so afraid of showing them.

“L-Levi, your face. W-What?” Hange stutters, for once at a loss for words.

“He did this to you?” Erwin asks, causing Levi to turn his gaze on him.

He feels small under his sharp blue gaze so he turns his head away and nods slightly, and that’s all the answer Erwin needs.

“I’m going to kill him.”

“Don’t be stupid!” Hange shouts, turning to look at him.

“Hange look at Levi, are you honestly saying that you don’t want to see Eren hurt just as bad?” Erwin’s voice rises as he speaks, as if he couldn’t believe that Hange would oppose.

“Eren is hurting!” Hange states loudly. “Don’t you see that? There’s no excuse for what he did, I’m not saying there is. But the guy is hurting.”

Erwin rounds on her, his piercing gaze could have cut glass. “I don’t care if he’s hurting! You know this is something we can’t ignore. You know what Levi’s been through.”

“Erwin,” He turns his head to look down at Levi as he begins to get to his feet. “Hange’s right. Besides I’m partly to blame for this anyway. He did it because I riled him up, it’s my fault.”

“Don’t,” Erwin and Hange say at the same time, their tones making the word final.

Erwin steps forward and wraps Levi up in his arms, for once Levi allows him to do it, only because he has no strength to move.

“Don’t you dare blame yourself, you hear me. He may not have come here with the intention to do this and you may have played a part in it. But there is no excuse for this. None.”

“That doesn’t change anything,” Levi mumbles into his shirt, because what’s done is done.

~~.~~

Eren had expected Levi’s friends to track him down and kill him.

He’s not sure what would have happened with Levi after he left the dorm, but he has no doubt that Hange, Erwin and Petra know everything by now. He’d thought about turning back, running back to the dorm he had just fled from and making sure Levi was okay. But the image of Levi’s eyes, full of hatred and pain stopped him. As selfish as it may sound he couldn’t stand for Levi to look at him like that. So he continued to his dorm.

After he came clean to both Armin and Mikasa he holed himself up in his dorm and stayed there for the inevitable shit storm that would befall him, but that hasn’t come yet. He’s gone over and over in his head how everything went down, how it ended the way it did.

How could he have been so stupid?

How could he allow himself to get so out of control?

He never meant to hurt Levi, never, no matter how much the guy pissed him off, no matter how much he managed to undermine him, he never wished to see him hurt. And yet now he’s the one who hurt him, with his own hands.

He’s troubled by Levi’s reaction to it though. He knows he was in shock, neither of them expected it to happen, but Levi’s reaction seemed beyond the normal amount of shock one would usually experience in that situation. No Levi was terrified. The way his body shook as he cowered away from him told him that Levi had experienced something like that before. And the emotional scars from that are still affecting him today. Of course Eren had no idea about that, had no way of knowing about things in Levi’s past because he never shared.

Perhaps he had a good reason. He always said he couldn’t trust Eren, and now he understands a little of why. He’s no excusing the shitty way in which Levi has treated him since he’s known him, but he can understand partly the way Levi acts the way he does. He’s scared. Scared to get close to someone. Perhaps it was someone close to him that hurt him so bad in the first place; Eren doesn’t know what that’s like. But he can understand it to some extent.

Of course this only makes him feel even more like a piece of shit.

~~.~~

 “Mikasa. Did something happen to Levi?”

She lifts her head from her laptop and stares at him where he stands by the door. She gives him a blank look before looking back down at the screen.

“Why do you assume that I’m talking to you right now?” Her words are like ice.

“Mikasa, please. You know I would never do something like that of my own will. I didn’t mean to hurt him. And his reaction has been eating at me for days. He was terrified, Mikasa. And there has got to be a reason why,” His tone is pleading and guilty as he asks of her more than she can give.

She closes her laptop and places it to the side on her bed. “You really fucked up, Eren.”

“I know,” He says sadly, looking down at his shoes.

“No, I don’t think you do,” He stares back up at her confused. “You know that you fucked up because you hit him, yes. But you don’t understand that that was the worst possible thing you could have done to him.”

“I don’t -,” He stares, before realising he has nothing to say.

She sighs. “It’s not my place to say, Eren.”

He steps forward, pleading. “Please, just tell me what I need to do. Tell me what happened to him so I can make this right.”

Her eyes widen at his choice of words. How can he possibly think that he can do anything to make it right? “It’s not my place to say. If you want to know you’re going to have to ask him, but I don’t think he’ll allow you to talk to him.”

“I have to try,” He states, as if it will be as simple as that.

She opens her laptop back up. “Shut the door on your way out, Eren.”

He leaves.

~~.~~

“Come on, Levi. Let’s go for some tea,” Petra says from his tiny table.

“I have tea here,” He states gesturing to his mini kitchen.

She smiles at him like he’s missing something. “I know, but you need to get out of this dorm. It’s stuffy in here.”

She expects him to refuse, he’s been couped up in here for two days now, and yet he grabs his jacket off the chair immediately and walks to the door.

“Okay, let’s go.”

She jumps up quickly, eagerly following him out of the dorms.

They walk to the café across campus in an effort to avoid Eren in case he’s working at Sixty Degrees. They take a seat towards the back, but still in view of the doors. Petra orders their drinks before sitting at the table across from him.

“So, this is fine then, being out like this?” She asks, trying to ease into the discussion with him.

“Yes, Petra,” He answers blandly, annoyed that she’s treating him like a wounded animal.

“Is your cheek okay? It looks sore,” She asks, trying for a different approach.

He lifts his hand quickly, his fingers prodding gently at the bruise clearly visible around his left eye and cheek. He winces as he presses too hard. “It’s okay.”

“Have you seen him since?”

He doesn’t get a chance to reply as the waitress comes over with their drinks, he looks up to thank her only to stare right into familiar large teal eyes. His answer to Petra’s question flies right out of his head as he stares at Eren, not sure what to do. Petra sits waiting for an answer when she realises Levi is otherwise occupied. She follows his gaze until it lands on Eren and her hands clench into fists on the table.

Neither Levi nor Eren make any move to interact and yet their eyes both hold the same pain, as if they’re both longing to speak to the other but can’t find it within them to do so. She grabs Levi’s arm quickly and pulls him out of his chair.

“Let’s go, Levi,” She says, as she pulls him toward the door.

He keeps eye contact with Eren for another second, as the brunette watches them go, before Levi drops his eyes and looks at Petra. “Yeah.”

Eren stands in line trying to get his thoughts straight, the man at the register asks for his order twice before Eren realises he’s talking to him. He looks at him, before he turns for the door exiting the café. He looks frantically around the quad but sees no sign of Petra or Levi; he heaves a sigh and starts to head back towards his dorm, when he hears someone yelling his name. For a second his mood brightens, thinking its Levi, but when he turns and comes face to face with Hange he swallows loudly and prepares himself for the shit storm that’s finally come.

She looks him over as he stands tense in front of her, his hands clenched to fists tightly in his pockets. “What are you doing, Eren?”

“W-What?” He asks, honestly surprised by her question. “Aren’t you doing to hit me?”

She raises her eyebrow at him. “What would I do that?”

“I wouldn’t stop you, I deserve it after all.”

She holds her hand up in front of his face to stop him. “There will be no more of that talk. I have a plan that I think might be able to help you.”

His face brightens at her words. “You mean to help me get Levi back?”

“No,” His face falls. “To get you two to talk. It’s up to you to get him back yourself.”

As happy as he is that Hange has a plan he can’t help but wonder why she’s willing to help him.

“Now let’s go back to my dorm.”

“Wait, Hange. Why are you helping me? Don’t you guys all hate me?”

She stops walking for a second, looking at him before picking up her stride once more. “Hate is a strong word, Eren. I might be disappointed in you, but I don’t hate you. We all make mistakes, and it’s up to each of us to make them right.” She winks at him. “With a little outside help of course.”

He jogs a few steps to catch up with her. “So what are we doing then?”

“You’ll see,” She answers vaguely, grabbing his hand and pulling him along with her.

 

He sits on one of the couches in dorm building K with worry lying in the pit of his stomach. Hange left him here with only one word:

“Stay.”

Honestly he’s not sure what to do with that, but she said she was going to help him at least a little bit with Levi, so he figures it’s best to do as she says for now. He’s just shifting himself into a comfier position on the couch when he hears footsteps approaching the doorway. He sits up straighter and watches the door carefully, hoping with every fibre of his being that it’s Levi who walks in.

~~.~~

He makes his way down the stairs to the common room through every part of his body is screaming at him to turn around, to not listen to a thing Hange says and get the hell out of here while he can. Even so his curiosity and reluctance to back away from anything drives him forward. He makes it to the doorway and before he turns he already knows who he’s going to see, can sense in a way that the person it that room is the one person he has no desire to see.

Not now.

Maybe not ever.

He rounds the doorway, his eyes falling straight onto the man sitting expectantly on the couch. Grey eyes meet teal and every thought but one flies out of Levi’s head.

“Eren Yeager,” He says, though it comes out more of an accusation. He doesn’t want to be here, so he turns around and tries to head back out the door. A hand around his wrist stops him, causing him to flinch and wrench it way from Eren quickly as if he’d burnt him.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” His voice is magnified in the silence room.

“Please Levi, hear me out,” Eren pleads, making sure to keep his distance this time.

He doesn’t walk away instantly which gives Eren the hope he’s been searching for.

“Levi, please.”


	27. Talking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Levi opens up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Sunday update..
> 
> I was planning for last Thursday of course, but life seemed to get in the way.. (And by life I mean re watching Dragonball Z Abridged and having no motivation to write.)
> 
> I'm really not liking this chapter, it's not what I had planned out in my head, but it is what it is and I hope you all enjoy it anyway.
> 
> So next week there will not be a chapter update, I will instead be uploading one of the extra chapters I have written. This one will focus on Levi and his past, so I hope you all look forward to that.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please leave a comment or give it a kudos. Everything is appreciated (:

**“** Please, Levi. Please just stay.”

He does nothing.

“I just need to talk to you, I don’t want you to hate me,” His voice comes out pathetic and weak.

“Hate you?” He repeats slowly, as if testing the words for himself. “I don’t hate you, Eren Yeager.”

It feels like a physical punch to the gut every time Levi calls him by his full name. “Then what?” He asks, thinking back to the night it happened, the way Levi had looked shaking as he cowered in fear.

“Are you afraid of me?”

Levi’s eyes widen as the words leave Eren’s mouth. He never realised before just how perceptive Eren actually is. Still he says nothing.

“Levi, please. Just talk to me!”

“Why?” He yells, startling Eren. “The last time we talked I got punched in the face. Why the fuck do you think I want to talk to you?”

“You know I didn’t mean to do that,” He replies, feeling small.

Levi lets out a harsh breath, letting the silence drag on. “I know that,” He answers finally. “But it changes nothing.”

“I just, I don’t want this to be the end for us,” Eren mumbles, staring down at his feet.

“I don’t either. But this is where we are.”

Eren lifts his head to look at Levi; the man’s face is carefully composed into a blank mask. How did things turn out this way? Only six months have passed since he first saw Levi walking across the quad, even when he flipped him off in the cafeteria he felt drawn to him. And through their good moments and their many shitty days this is all they get? Eren can’t help but think how unbelievably unfair the world is. And yet he can think of nothing to fix all the mistakes they’ve made to get to this point. He just knows that he wants Levi, he can’t imagine living his life day to day without him there.

He hadn’t moved across the country in the hopes of finding someone, he was focused on school and books and back then that was all he needed. But Levi through no real action of his own twisted himself so completely into his life and now he’s not sure what he’d be without him. That’s why he’ll fight, though his friends will tell him that he should let it be, that his relationship with Levi is not a healthy one, because honestly he’s not strong enough to even try to live without him.

Levi is the only one who can tell him to stop trying. And every time he has, Eren has felt as if he never truly meant it. But perhaps that’s why, because he keeps trying to fix something that has always been broken and he’s hurting both of them in the process. Even so, he’ll take all the hurt if it means he can be with him.

“I don’t want things to end like this,” He says again, making sure Levi knows.

Levi who had been watching him the whole time blinks slowly. “We’re already over.”

The words cut Eren so deeply he only manages to open his mouth to reply when Levi has already walked out of the room.

**~~.~~**

He knows he played a major role in ruining the relationship, but honestly though he tried, he never saw them going anywhere. He’s aware that his actions have not always been for the better, but he was in it for the fun. As horrible as that sounds he only got with Eren in the first place because he thought it would be a good distraction from school. And it wasn’t because Eren is Eren and he felt particularly drawn to him, he would have done it with anyone. It was only because Eren was so insistent on spending time with him that he allowed it to go as far as it did. 

And yet be can’t deny the feelings he felt for Eren, even after everything. And though he’s afraid and unsure as to what will happen next he can’t just make those feelings disappear.

“How are you doing? Mikasa voice comes from beside him as she hands him a cup of tea before sitting down next to him.

“Seems to be the theme going around these days. How is Levi doing?” He replies sarcastically, grabbing the tea from her and taking a careful sip.

“Don’t joke about this,” Her tone is hard and serious. “We all know how serious this is so don’t you dare make us feel bad by joking.”

Though he understands her tone, he can’t help the defensive anger that rises up within him.

“Then why do you ask me?” His voice comes out low and dangerous. “Why is everyone asking me how I am when all of you already know? Do you want me to tell you that I’m terrified, that I never want to see him again? Or do you want me to tell you that I’m fine, that I’m over it and ready to move on?”

“Levi.”

He stops knowing there is no way he can lie to her, he never has been able to, not since they were kids. She knows he gets like this, and she seems to be the only person who can see through the bullshit of it all.

“Tell me seriously.”

“I don’t know.”

She slams her cup down on the table harshly. “Levi, don’t give me that shit.”

“I’m being serious,” He defends, his face twisting into his usual hard expression.

She sits back against the couch, momentarily confused. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

He leans back himself, staring up at the ceiling as he tries to put the thoughts that have been eating at him into words. “It’s like I know I should hate him. If it was anyone else I would. He scares me, Mikasa. And I know that I should want to be as far away from him as I can get, and I do. I really do.” He stops for a second as a look passes over his face that Mikasa can only place as embarrassment. “But there is another part of me that wants to be near him.”

“Do you want to be with him?”

He knows he should have expected the question, been prepared with an answer, but he isn’t. He sits there staring up at the ceiling as if it will tell him what to do. He smiles, “I don’t know.”

They sit in silence for a moment until she speaks again. “I feel horrible.”

His eyes shift to the side as he looks at her in confusion. “Why?”

“I feel somewhat responsible for what has happened. If I hadn’t pushed you to be with Eren then maybe none of this would have happened. I knew he had a temper, but I never thought that he would go so far.”

“It’s not your fault, Mikasa.” His words come out quick and definite, she had no hand in Eren’s actions. “And besides, Eren is the only one who has control over his own actions.” He laughs a low laugh that’s more sad and pitiful than it is cheerful. “Perhaps all of us are a little broken.”

She laughs, because maybe it’s true. And knowing that, she feels just a little less horrible for her next request. “I think you should talk to him.”

He pulls himself up off the back of the couch to look at her properly. “What?”

She sits up to meet his eyes. “I know you want to, Levi. I can see that it’s eating both of you up to be away from each other and though I feel responsible for what happened, I also feel as though I need to help you in working through it.”

He stares at her with his brow furrowed as if he doesn’t understand the words that are coming out of her mouth.

“I’m not telling you to get back together with him; I’m just saying that you two need to talk things through. You’re my family, Levi. I know how hard it was for you growing up, and I wish that I could have done more to help you, but it’s in the past. I’m not telling you to get over it because I know how much it still affects you, but please talk to him. Because I think this is affecting you more.”

“What do you think I should do?” She’s not used to him sounding so unsure.

She leans forward, placing her hand on his knee reassuringly. She smiles when he only flinches slightly before relaxing. “Just promise me you’ll try. That you’ll tell him why.”

He looks into her eyes, his own unguarded and questioning. “You want me to tell him about Kenny?”

She nods.

“I’ll try.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

~~.~~

He’s at a loss for what to do. Sure he could try to talk to him again, but Levi seems so insistent on not talking to him that he doesn’t think it will do much good. He’d talk to Mikasa but she’s been distant from him lately as well, though he can’t blame her for that, Levi is her cousin after all. Armin, well there are so many different reasons why he can’t possibly bring the topic of Levi up with Armin right now.

He crosses his arms over his chest and shifts his weight onto this other foot as he stands staring out into the campus. He glances to the side as someone comes to stand beside him. He’s about to ask why they’re invading his space when his eyes widen in shock as he recognises the person, the only word leaving his mouth through a mind full of questions being:

“Levi?”

“I want to tell you why I reacted the way I did.” He states in a bland tone, as if it were the most normal thing in the world for him to be here.

Eren’s mouth drops open in shock before he begins spluttering out reasons why it’s not necessary. “No, you don’t have to tell me. Anyone would have reacted the way you did, I completely understand. I just lost control, and I feel like such a fuck up. No matter what I say I know I can never make it up to you, but I’m so sorry. So please you don’t need to explain.”

“Yes, I do.” He states, no room for argument.

“Levi...”

He doesn’t look at Eren, but his voice is harsh as he speaks. “Just listen to me. I need to tell you, because you deserve to know the reason why I never let you in. Why I was always holding you at arm’s length. We’ve both made mistakes, but me keeping this was the biggest one. So just stop talking for a minute.”

Eren shuts his mouth instantly, looking at Levi intently as he closes his eyes and takes in a breath.

“I don’t want to go into the whole sob story of my childhood, so I won’t. But I’ll give you the gist of it.”

Eren remains quiet, watching as Levi takes in another deep breath. His struggle to open up is clear on his face and he almost reaches out to comfort him, but stops knowing that that wouldn’t do either of them any good.

“I grew up with one of mine and Mikasa’s uncles, Kenny Ackerman. Let’s just say that he had a very unconventional idea on how to raise a child.”

Levi pauses and Eren thinks he’s going to stop there when he somewhat reluctantly continues.

“My parents died when I was about five, and ever since then I was raised by him. He was extremely strict. And I was a little shit who did everything I could to push the boundaries. Looking back on it now I’m not sure if I was brave or stupid, I guess that’s up to each person to decide.”

He stops again and remains silent for a long time. Eren looks away into the distance as Levi thinks to himself. A few times he feels like he should say something, but he knows Levi’s not finished and he needs to allow him to speak. Levi opens his mouth before shutting it quickly as if second guessing whether he should continue talking or not. He eventually sighs, raking his hand harshly through his hair and looks out in front of them.

“He beat the shit out of me almost on a daily basis. I ran away with money I stole from him when I was sixteen and he tracked me down and tried to kill me. I got away, only just, but I did. I turned it around on him and beat him within an inch of his life, and got away. I left him lying in a pool of his own blood and ran. That’s when I met Hange and Erwin and later Petra. They stood by me even when I couldn’t stand to be around them because of what Kenny had done to me. I couldn’t trust them to not do the same thing. But eventually I got comfortable enough around them to trust them. We’ve been together ever since.”

He doesn’t know what to say. What can he say? Every word that rushes through Eren’s mind seems insincere and wrong, but he needs to say something. He can’t just sit here in silence after Levi has finally opened up to him.

“Levi, I’m so sorry,” He knows the words sound insincere and they make him cringe, but he needs to say something.

Levi chuckles slightly, like he knows Eren is just trying to fill the silence. “For what? It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but I just -. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like for you.” He freezes as the realisation of his actions crash down on him. “A-And after what I did, I can’t believe you’re actually here talking to me.”

Levi smiles slightly, the corner of his lips lifting up slightly. “I promised someone I would try.”

Though it’s stupid Eren feels jealous of this ‘someone’ Levi mentioned, because he knows it’s not him.

“They must be pretty special for you to make a promise like that,” He says sadly, though the words rip him apart.

Levi smiles again, brighter this time. “Yeah, they are.”

Eren says nothing, does not want to delve deeper into who this person is that Levi cares so deeply about. When Levi realises Eren isn’t going to say anything more he looks over to him, his brow creased in confusion. “They’re special to you too, aren’t they?”

Eren looks at him as if he’s missing something. “What?”

Levi smiles again, and it’s so soft and makes him look years younger that Eren’s heart almost breaks.

“The person I’m talking about is Mikasa.”

He can’t help the gasp that leaves his mouth at the name. He thought Mikasa and him were on bad terms since the incident and yet no matter how disappointed she is him in, she’s still able to pull the strings from the background.

He finds himself smiling as he stares at the campus next to Levi. He’d be happy to stay just as they are now, but he knows that nothing is fixed, and though Levi finally opened up to him and told him the one thing that has been a thorn in his side since they met, there still in the same position. His smile slowly drops as his gaze becomes hazy as the campus in front of him disappears.

“So what do we do now?” He asks, hating that he’s still so unsure.

Levi’s own smile drops as he keeps his eyes fixed on the campus. “I don’t know.”

Eren swallows, knowing that Levi could take his next words badly or well. “I don’t want to lose you.” He watches Levi out of the corner of his eye; he doesn’t miss the way he tenses before his shoulders drop as he sighs.

“I know.”

As much as Levi’s reluctance to give him anything frustrates him, he understands it and so works hard to keep his tone even. “What do you want to do?”

Levi sighs, raking his hand through his hair. Eren’s surprised to see that he has shifted to look at him. Levi stares up into his eyes, and yet Eren feels nothing that he used to when Levi would look at him. His gaze his dull and missing everything that Eren loved about the unique colour of his grey eyes. And then his words give Eren the slightest bit of hope. “I know I don’t want to stay like this.”

“Okay,” He turns away again, fighting the smile that’s trying to take up residence on his face.

“What about you?” Levi asks, still staring up at him.

He must be feeling bold today or something because his next words slip past his lips before he can stop them. “I want you to forgive me.” He regrets them instantly, preparing himself for what he’s sure is Levi leaving. Instead he sighs, his gaze shifting away from Eren as he looks across the campus again, as if lost in thought.

“I could easily say the words, but they won’t matter if I don’t mean them.”

Eren nods, he’d expected as much but that doesn’t stop the hurt that radiates through his chest. He breathes in deeply. “Can we maybe, can we just hang out?”

“Just us?” Levi asks straight away, and Eren can already tell he’s eager to end the conversation.

He turns to face Levi fully, trying to get him to look at him. He tries again, stuttering as he tries to make himself clear. “No, I ah-I didn’t think you’d want that -,”

“-I don’t,” Levi cuts in instantly.

Those words hurt Eren more than he’ll let Levi know.

“Yeah,” He says in a sad voice, Levi raises an eyebrow at him but says nothing. “Where all going out for drinks tonight. Maybe you’d want to come?” He continues, hoping Levi won’t turn him down straight away.

Levi thinks about what Mikasa said and reluctantly makes up his mind. He has to try.

“Okay.”

Eren’s face lights up instantly, staring at Levi as if he can’t believe it.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I should be around people.”

Well Eren will take what he can get.


	28. Growing Up? (Extra Chapter - Levi's Story)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one about Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so as stated last week this is not the next chapter. This is another extra chapter - it is focused on Levi's back story before he met everyone.
> 
> I hope that after reading this you can understand a little as to why Levi has acted the way he has towards Eren. 
> 
> The real next chapter should be posted by the following Thursday, but it might be a little late again as I'm busy packing up my life to move. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it (:
> 
> Please leave a comment or give it a kudos. Everything is appreciated.

Things weren’t always like this, there was a time when he was happy and everything was perfect. He wouldn’t be able to tell you how he used to feel though, because the memories that held those feelings have long since been driven from his mind through discipline and fear. This is just how things are, and for all he knows, they always will be.

But he’ll never be able to forget the harsh antiseptic stench that seemed to cling to the stark white walls of the hospital he spent most of his days in as a young child. He’d had a happy life, his parents were loving, especially his mother, even though she was going through constant check-ups, surgery and drug trials she was still able to give Levi the love and attention he desperately needed. The love he was entitled to.

For such a small women she was uncharacteristically strong. She cared more for the people around her than she did for herself; she was selfless in every sense of the word. And that did not make her weak.  She was his idol, the person he strived to be like, because what was the point in hurting those around you? Where did it get you?

She taught him how to play scrabble in her hospital room. She told him what a wonderful person he was becoming and he would grin from ear to ear and hug her until both were laughing from the sheer joy of the moments being together brought them. His father would sit on the other side of the bed with the book he’d brought that day and smile, not looking up, but still feeling the joy of the moment even though he wasn’t an immediate party to it.

She was full of joy until the last week, when either due to the pain or just wanting her life to be over started spouting harsh words at both Levi and his father. She no longer wanted to play scrabble, so Levi stopped bringing it all together. On the Sunday, three days before she died Levi sat by her with his arms resting against her bed. He held her hand and found that it was cold, he wrapped both of his hands around it in an attempt to warm her and she smiled weakly down at him. He fell asleep then and was only woken by his father’s hand shaking his shoulder slightly. Levi had blinked up at him tiredly, and his father took him to the cafeteria promising they would return once they had food in their stomachs.

They came back not twenty minutes later to find four doctors in the room, Levi pushed by them only wanting to see him mother again and hold her hand. He got to do just that, though this time she did not smile down at him. His father placed his hand on his shoulder again and smiled a strained smile down at his wife now hooked up to a respirator. The doctors told them she’d stopped breathing.

They said it was unlikely that she would be able to come off it.

He stayed by her side for the next three days, until he was woken by a drawn out beep that seemed to be endless. A doctor rushed in then, the look on his face as he took in the scene caused Levi’s heart to constrict painfully within his chest. His father wasn’t here, he had to be at work and it was probably better this way, Levi didn’t want to see what his father’s face would look like the minute he knew he’d lost his wife. But Levi could handle this, because he was strong just like his mother and he hated himself because he didn’t cry. Not once.  

His father, seeing no reason to live after his wife’s death hung himself in the living room of their family home exactly two weeks later.  Levi had found him when his father had not come to get him for dinner. He’d sat on the floor facing the front door because he’d heard his father making plans for his uncle and his cousin Mikasa to come over that night. He sat there for an hour until he heard knocking on the door, he didn’t answer and a minute later he heard the click of a key in the lock and his uncle walked in. He swore as soon as he took in the scene in front of him and was quick to steer Mikasa into Levi’s room. He grabbed Levi off the floor and sat him next to her and told them to wait there for him. He called the police then, and Mikasa and Levi watched red and blue lights reflect off his bedroom window as cars filed his front yard.

Levi never blamed his father, sure he was sad, but even at his young age he understood his father’s pain. He understood why he did what he did, and though he may not have liked it he knew there was nothing else to do but accept it.

He couldn’t change anything.

~~.~~

Levi met Kenny Ackerman for the first time that week. He was told that he was his father’s oldest brother and that he would be living with him now. He couldn’t explain why but there was a feeling within him that urged him not to go, something that told him this man was not the same as his parents. Though what choice did he have? He went where people told him to, because he had no other choice.

He tried to please his uncle, tried to do everything he possibly could to be the best child. But Kenny was always bitter towards him, Levi assumed it was because Kenny never wanted kids and got stuck with one because his brother died. He never asked. He was scared too.

He’s not sure if it was the first time it ever happened, but it’s the first one he can recall. He’d felt horrible about the situation and apologized that his parent’s had died and made him Kenny’s problem. The look in his eyes that day was pure hatred and it made Levi flinch. He knew it wasn’t his fault and yet he still apologized, because he wanted to be a good kid.

~~.~~

When he was seven he fell over and scraped his knee, Kenny had patched him up with a small smile and Levi accidently called him dad. The expression on Kenny’s face changed in an instant and fear washed through Levi a second before a fist collided with his cheek. He’d yelled out in pain, the sting in his knee forgotten as his face throbbed. He fell to the side, his shoulder coming to rest on the grass as Kenny kicked his boot harshly into his ribs. He screamed as pain radiated throughout hi entire body. Kenny leant down afterwards, cursing Levi’s name and telling him never to call him that again.

Though he was obviously unloved Levi still strived for acceptance. He tried to cling onto his parent’s faces, though over the years he spent with Kenny their faces became fuzzier and before beginning to disappear altogether. Kenny had made sure to take everything that reminded Levi of his parents away from him. He’d said it was because they would only bring back sad memories, but Levi would take those memories over this. He could no longer recall what a parent’s unconditional love felt like and it made him feel empty. He still had one person, his cousin Mikasa, and though he hardly got to see her he still felt she was someone he could depend on. She’d ask him about his bruises on several occasions, mere child curiosity, and though his head screamed at him to tell her what was going on he felt as though he still couldn’t trust her. And so every time it came up his mouth spouted some half assed excuse about being clumsy. She’d nod and drop it, but he knew over the years she’d begun to doubt. She begun to realise what was really going on, but she could do nothing.

~~.~~

At age thirteen he began to test the boundaries. He’d come home late from school and talk back to Kenny and receive a complimentary punch to the stomach or face for his trouble. It didn’t stop him. He became more reckless, sometimes not coming home at all. Every time Kenny would be there waiting for him when he decided to show and threaten to kill him if he ever did it again. The threats never stopped him, but in the back of his mind he wished Kenny would follow through, because at least then he would be away from him.

~~.~~

When he was fifteen he realised he was attracted to guys, he wasn’t scared; instead he accepted it as part of who he was. It was around this time he’d noticed Kenny had begun following him the majority of times he left the house, so he shouldn’t have been surprised when he caught him with another guy.

He’d been kicked to the ground right in front of him, and though his eyes pleaded with the guy to help him, he did nothing but run away from the scene without even a glance behind him. Levi had stared after him while continuing to be beaten as Kenny spouted obscenities about faggots and unappreciative children. Levi had shut his eyes, his mind going blank and his heart closing as he realised the selfishness of humans.

~~.~~

When he was sixteen he thought it was finally over. He’d been lying in his bed staring at the photo of his parents Mikasa had managed to sneak him with the light from his phone, when Kenny pushed the door open, his expression twisted in anger. He’d been angry that Levi was still up and almost lethal when he saw what he was holding. He walked over to the bed and snatched it out of his hands, ripping it into tiny pieces right in front of him. Levi made the mistake of trying to stop Kenny, to grab his arm and get him away from him. Kenny didn’t take kindly to that and swatted his hands away as if they were a mere fly and slapped him across the face. Levi tried to get up but Kenny got on top of him, pinning him to the mattress and wrapping his hands around his throat. Levi tried to get his hands off but the loss of oxygen caused his vision to become fuzzy. He reached for anything he could use to fend Kenny off but came up empty handed. A thought entered his mind that made him stop fighting. If this is it then he can be with his parents, if Kenny is actually going to kill him than at least he’ll finally be away from him. Kenny suddenly removed his hands completely, either due to coming to the same conclusion that he’ll have no one to torture if he kills him, or if he was actually just trying to scare Levi the whole time. Levi rolled to the side coughing as air raced back down to his lungs to keep him alive; Kenny looked down at the pathetic boy struggling to live and left the room. Levi curled in on himself, holding his legs against his chest, his eyes stinging with tears but he still doesn’t cry. He would not let himself shed a tear over that man. He rocked himself until he finally fell asleep, wishing he had died.

A week later he left with a substantial amount of Kenney’s money that he knew the man kept hidden in the back of his closet and ran to a friend’s house. He was safe for a week when Kenny tracked him down. He broke into the house when Levi was home alone and demanded to know where his money was. Levi has remained tight lipped and payed for it with his body. Kenny smacked him over the face, he’d lost his balance and stumbled into the display cabinet against the wall and fell through the glass. Kenny was on him in a second holding him to the floor and punching his face repeatedly. Levi tried to bring his hands up to push the man off but they were held down by Kenny’s knees. After some struggle he managed to get one of his knees up and slam it into Kenny’s groin, causing the man to fall to the side with a groan and free him. He jumped up driven by pure adrenaline and kicked Kenny in the ribs hard before getting on top of him. He grabbed him by the hair and slammed his head against the ground, Kenny yelled for him to get off as he tried to claw at him, but Levi didn’t move. He hit him over the face, watched as his nose starts bleeding and kept going. It registered in his brain by the third punch that Kenny had stopped moving, but he continued two more times before finally falling off the man. He got up quickly, wincing from the pain in his entire body and looked down at him, a bloody mess lying on the floor of his friend’s house. He grabbed what he could, shoved it into a bag and fled the house as quick as he could.

~~.~~

He’s sitting in a booth at a diner huddled over a mug of black tea two towns over two weeks later when he is approached by a guy and girl. He glances up at them suspiciously, pulling his duffel bag closer to him.

“Can I help you?” He snaps, wanting to be rid of them.

The girl slides into the booth across from him and sticks her hand out with a grin. He ignores it. “I’m Hange and this big guy here is Erwin.”

She looks at him for a second noticing the cuts and almost healed bruises on his face, before glancing at his bag and dirty clothes.

He stares back at her with reluctance, before looking up at the guy, Erwin was it? The man’s muscular build, even at such a young age reminds him of Kenny and he shudders. He’s surprised that neither of them has asked about his poor appearance, but finds himself feeling thankful for it. He looks back at the girl who’s still grinning at him; her glasses making her look older than she actually is.  Can he trust these people? No he can’t. But that’s got nothing to do with them. He smiles slightly, wincing as a healing cut on his lip pulls tightly.

“I’m Levi.”


	29. Snap?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where everyone wants something different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first I'd like to apologize to everyone who has waited for an update and if you thought that perhaps what I posted last week was a chapter I'm sorry.
> 
> Quite honestly, I'm finding it extremely difficult to continue writing this story, some due to the fact that I find it difficult to write lots of the content in this story. Of course you could say that I brought that on myself by writing a story like this, but as difficult as it can be to read this story, it's just as difficult to write it. Trust me.
> 
> And the second reason it's taken me a while to write this is because to be blunt, I've kind of gotten over my obsession with Attack on Titan. I'm kind of feeling that way about anime in general at the moment. So yeah.. (But don't worry, I will finish this story, you guys deserve that.)
> 
> And the third reason is because as stated previously I just moved across the country and am still trying to settle ON TOP of starting a very demanding full time job that leaves little room to sit down and still have the motivation to write a chapter. So I've been writing tiny bits of this chapter over the last few weeks just to get it done.
> 
> NOW, THIS IS THE SECOND LAST CHAPTER! (It was going to be the third last but I scrapped that idea because I just need to finish this). So after this will the the last chapter AND THEN an epilogue AND THEN a Marco and Jean extra. And then it's done!
> 
> Thanks for waiting guys, and please enjoy.
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos, everything is appreciated. (I promise I'll try to do better on the updates..)
> 
> P.S. Its jumpy, like sooo jumpy. And short.. And horrible..

“How are you doing?”

Levi looks over at his cousin, his eyebrow raised at her sudden question.

“You look tense,” She continues, as if he didn’t understand her the first time.

He can’t say that she’s wrong, because he is. Even with Eren sitting across the table from him with no way for them to touch, he still feels on edge. And he shouldn’t, there is no indication that Eren plans on doing anything, sinister or otherwise, he’s just sitting across the table laughing at something Marco said with the small blonde at his side. He looks happy, as if nothing is wrong. As if he’s not secretly yearning for Levi to include himself in the conversation just so he can have a reason to talk to him.

“I’m fine,” He replies, knowing that does nothing to quench her worry as he stares just over Eren’s shoulder.

There’s three conversations happening around him amongst his friends and he finds it impossible to understand a single one, so he sits staring at nothing, because at least he’s present and that’s what matters. That was all he planned on doing, just sitting here giving the pretence that he’s comfortable around his former fling. Until he hears his name being called for what he assumes is not the first time if the expressions of his friends are anything to go by.

“Levi?”

He shifts his gaze to the wide teal eyes that are staring at him expectantly. He hates the uneasy feeling that settles in his stomach as their eyes meet.

“What?”

Eren looks hurt by his harsh tone, but recovers quickly and repeats what he has said.

“We’re thinking of moving to another bar, you coming?”

He remains staring for a second, noticing how everyone around him is currently standing, and their glasses empty.

“Yeah.”

~~.~~

Eren’s face shines with the flush of the four shots he’d just thrown back, Levi had watched entranced by the way he was so determined to act like he was okay. To the outside eye he would look like a typical uni student, throwing back shots with his friends on a Saturday night, but Levi knows better. All of their friends do. And yet nobody stops him, because they know that not a single one of them could handle him once he finally let go of the restraints holding his feeling back and broke down. It’s not that they don’t care for him, because they do more than they sometimes let on. But Eren is miserable and they didn’t know how to make anything better, so they watch and laugh as he throws back his fifth drink, every single one of them ignoring the sadness in his eyes.

Unable to take it anymore Levi finishes his drink with a gulp and stands, muttering about needing the bathroom and leaves his friends. He makes his way through the thick crowed, pushing past the bodies that come uncomfortably close as he creates a path to the back of the pub. He walks into an empty stall, quickly locks the door and rests his back against the graffiti covered wood. A sigh escapes his lips as his head spins slightly, now realising how much he’s had to drink tonight. He contemplates staying in the stall until everyone leaves and he can go home, but he knows sooner or later someone will come looking for him and he’ll have to explain why they found him leaning against the wall of a filthy toilet stall. Neither sounds appealing so with another sigh he unlocks the door and walks slowly over to the sink, he places his hand on the basin, bending his elbows so he can see himself in the tiny, grime streaked mirror.

The man staring back at him looks hard and tired; the bruise spread over his left eye has only just begun to fade to an ugly yellowish brown still standing out against his pale skin. The face staring back at him doesn’t look bad necessarily, just different. Though he’s not sure if he likes it or not. He turns the tap to the left, watching he water fill the basin before reaching his hands in and splashing the cold liquid over his face. He breathes deeply, glad that the cold temperature has woken him up just a bit. He dries his face off quickly with the paper towel and begins to turn around, he’s been away for too long, he couldn’t think of anything worse than having Mikasa barge her way in here to see if he’s okay. His eyes lift up slowly from the floor straight into teal eyes that seem to be devouring him as he stands rooted in his place. He opens his mouth to speak when Eren advances on him, his hands coming to grip Levi’s face as his mouth presses against his. Levi’s eyes widen at the action as he tries to immediately get Eren away from him. He manages to get his mouth free as Eren shifts his head to the side.

“Eren, you’re drunk. You don’t want to do this.” He states, knowing that Eren would never do this if he hadn’t been drinking.

He presses himself firmer against Levi in response, as if he heard his words yet chose to prove to Levi just how wrong he is.

“You have no idea how much I do want to do this,” He replies, sliding his hand under Levi’s shirt, the roughness of his touch causes Levi to tense up. “Please just indulge me for a second.”

“Eren, stop,” He responds, trying to get as much hardness into his tone as he can in his current situation.

He leans back, removing his lips from the side of Levi’s neck so he can look him in the eye. “You don’t really want me to stop though, do you?” He asks with a drunken smirk plastered on his lips, as if it was all one big joke.

“I’m serious,” Levi’s tone turns low and threating causing Eren to hesitate in his actions for a second before continuing with his train of thought. “Eren, get off me,” He continues, his tone hard as he attempts to push him away. It’s not enough as Eren continues to push his body against his, trapping him against the dirty bathroom wall. Levi feels the hot wetness of his tongue as it trails roughly along his throat, he shudders as at it reaches higher, coming dangerously close to Levi’s bottom lip. He could give in, it would be entirely too easy to just relax against Eren and pull him close. But he was above that, and though some things are that simple, their situation isn’t one of them. He’s clear of that as his fear out ways everything that Eren is trying to evoke from him.

“Eren,” He says again, hoping he will finally acknowledge his words and move away on his own. He doesn’t as Eren continues to push, forcing Levi to feel his confined erection against his stomach.

“Come on, Levi,” Eren whines close against Levi’s chin. His hand clutches tightly to Levi’s neck in an effort to restrain his movements. Levi manages to get a hand between them, placing it flat against Eren’s ribs and forces him away. As they break apart Levi notices the widening of Eren’s eyes, not in anger but in shock and Levi can only assume it’s due to his rejection.

Eren’s hands fly up to his face, covering his mouth as he lets out a frustrated sound which is muffled by his fingers. “Levi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go that far.” He removes his hands from his face as he looks squarely into Levi’s light eyes. “You just drive me crazy, I can’t stop myself.”

“You’re words mean nothing, Eren Yeager. If you’re sorry, then show it. You said you wanted me to forgive you, and yet you do nothing to earn my forgiveness.”

Levi’s words stun him into silence as he stands back, his hands hanging by his sides as he tries to figure out what to do. What can he do to salvage this night? Levi sighs, scratching the back of his neck as he watches Eren carefully.

“I’m leaving,” He states, straightening his clothes and walks by Eren towards the door; he doesn’t turn around as Eren continues to stand there dumbfounded. “See you around, Eren Yeager.”

Levi walks out of the bathroom, not glancing at his friends as he passes their table.

“Levi!” Hange shouts, as he makes his way quickly towards the door. He doesn’t slow down, he can’t think of anything to tell them about what almost just happened. He didn’t want to be here in the first place and this was why. Why can’t Eren just understand that this is how things are now? Why is he fighting it? He thinks he knows the answer, but he rids the idea from his head with a shake as soon as it surfaces and walks out of the pub.

~~.~~

“Do you think things could ever go back to the way they were before?” His voice is quiet as he sits by Levi. He’d thought of approaching him for a day or so before he actually did, but his friend seemed reluctant to talk to anyone since the night at the pub. No one has been able to get a word out of either of them, which only makes everyone all the more concerned.

“Do you really think things were so great before?” Levi asks in reply, as if he was already prepared for the question.

Erwin is silent for a moment as he thinks it over. Sure what Levi and Eren had wasn’t ideal, but Erwin had always thought that there was something more between them that they never showed anyone else. But if Levi’s behaviour over the last few weeks is anything to go by, perhaps he was wrong.

He’d managed to keep his word. The first time he saw Eren the guy looked so miserable there was no possible way Erwin was able to do anything to him. And now, as the weeks have passed he’s found that he is not as inclined towards getting payback as he initially was after he found Levi shaking on the floor. He just wants to be there for Levi, as his friend. Yet that is proving to be a difficult feat as Levi seems content to act as if nothing has changed, and even worse, as if he never met Eren to begin with. Erwin wants to know what happened at the pub, but he doesn’t want to snap Levi out of his little dream world, as much as he wants him back here with him, he figures that perhaps it might be best to let him stay like that, at least for a little bit. Hange on the other hand has other plans.

“Levi!” Her high voice sounds from the other side of the shorter man.

He glances over at her, just as he normally would and raises an eyebrow.

“What?”

She gives him a stern look, not in the mood to take any of his shit. “What is going on with you lately? I thought that your bad mood had something to do with not being with Eren anymore, but you don’t even look at him these days. It’s as if you’re trying to rid yourself of him altogether.”

“And?” He asks, his tone only serving to anger her.

“And I want to know why!” She replies, her voice rising.

“Why?” He asks, as if it was the most unusual thing in the world for her to say. He runs his hands over his face, sighing as he looks just over her shoulder. “I don’t know why.”

Her face slowly softens as she takes in the expression twisting his face. “You know we just want to help you, right?” Her tone mirroring the worry of her words. 

“Of course,” He sighs, only wanting to be out of here and alone with his thoughts.

“Then why are you being like this? Why won’t you let us help you?”

He looks at Hange then, takes in the concern furrowing her brow before his eyes shift to Erwin whose gaze is as steady and unwavering as it has ever been.  And what can he say to them? That he’s terrified to be around Eren, not just because of what happened at the pub, but because he’s terrified of how Eren feels about him. And after everything, after all they’ve been through he just can’t see him the same way and he feels that being around Eren, will only serve to hurt the man as he realises that things will never change. So he’d opted for the lesser of two evils, to avoid him altogether. Surely Eren will move on, Levi couldn’t have had that big on an impact on his life that he would never be able to find someone better, someone who wasn’t emotionally scarred by their past. Someone better than Levi could ever hope to be.

Yet no one sees his reasoning the same way and so he snaps.

“Because you can’t!” He yells, standing up as his friend’s lean back out of his way, their expressions identical masks of shock.

“Levi -,” Erwin begins only to be silenced by the man with a glare.

“Just both of you stay out of it. This is my mess! If anyone’s going to fix it, to make things better, it’s going to be me. So mind your own business.” He walks off then, leaving his two friends to stare after him with concern.

He feels guilt settle in his stomach as soon as he turns his back, and yet there was nothing else he could have done. Sure there might have been another way to go about getting them off his back, but Levi was never all that skilled in talking about his feelings in the most mature way. So he walks away, having no idea what to do next, but knowing he needs to set things straight with Eren.

He’s just not sure what he’s going to do yet.

~~.~~

“Can you honestly tell me that he is the one you want? That there is no one else that you could possibly see yourself being with? Because honestly, Eren, I think you need to think long and hard about your decision. I don’t want you to regret anything.”

Eren nods absently at Armin’s words. He’s been saying the same thing for almost a week now. Eren, think about what you want. Eren, make sure you make the right choice. Eren, think about what’s best for you. The blonde’s advice was beginning to do Eren’s head in, and yet he was still thankful that Armin was there at all.

“Eren! Are you even listening to me?”

He shakes his head, clearing it of his thoughts and looks over at Armin.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

Armin sighs, used to Eren spacing out. “I asked if you’d decided what you are going to do.”

Eren thinks for a moment, making a show of it as he places a finger against his chin and looks off into the café. “I know what I want.” He turns back to Armin with a smile on his lips. “I’ve always known.”

Armin smiles back, though he’s not happy with Eren’s answer. He’d told Eren to do what is best for him, and he knows that Levi is the only thing Eren wants. He’s afraid for his friend, but he knows if he says anything he’ll only upset Eren, so he keeps his mouth shut and gives him a mirroring smile wishing desperately that he’d change his mind.


	30. Passion?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they try to make things right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaayyy, so not dead..
> 
> I know it's been a while since I updated and I have no excuse other than the fact that I am lazy..
> 
> Anyway I said in the last update that this would be the last chapter and while that is still true it is only the FIRST PART of the last chapter. I was looking at it today and realised that it has gotten rather long and I thought instead of making you guys wait even longer for an update, I would just post a little preview (teaser if you will) to tide you over for a little bit.
> 
> The next and LAST half of the chapter should be out by next week if not sooner. 
> 
> Also I have a song that I used as inspiration for this chapter if you'd like to listen to it. (It's not necessarily relevant for this half of the chapter, but it sets the over all tone for the chapter, so I'll post it again with next weeks update.) 
> 
> The song is called 'FOOLS' -By Jungkook and Rapmonster (Yes it's a cover of Troy Sivan's song, but I love BTS and honestly I like this version a lot better, I like the rawness of it.)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwVbCIA1hgc (SONG LINK!)
> 
> I hope you enjoy and as always leave a comment or give it a kudos.
> 
> Everything is appreciated (:

“What are you so afraid of?”

Levi looks up from his phone, a cigarette dangling from his lips as the cool night air grows more visible as it swirls in front of him. He smiles slightly, as if the question amuses him, of course it does anything but. The entire situation he’s found himself in could not be further from amusing if it tried, but is he afraid? The mere act of being afraid is almost laughable these days, after everything he’s been through, how would it ever benefit him to be afraid?

Mikasa and Hange sit in silence as he remains lost in thought, both know that no good will come of trying to rush him, his bad temper will come through and he will refuse to talk about anything. And though they almost count on him complaining about the amount of talking that has gone on between the three in the last few weeks, they all know that it’s all doing them good. But he still shakes his head, takes a slow drag from his cigarette and lets out a low laugh.

“I’m not afraid.”

“You know what he wants, right?” Mikasa asks her tone uncertain as she looks at her cousin.

He turns his head slightly to look at her in the dark. “Of course I do.”

“Then what are you doing?” The concern in her dark eyes is clear even in the dim illumination created by the light posts dotting the campus in front of them.

“I’m not denying him because I want to, Mikasa. I don’t want to be the bad guy, but I have no idea how to even start trying to fix things-,”

“And you do want to fix things?” She asks abruptly cutting off whatever he was going to say next.

His hard eyes stare at her as he tries to make sense of what she is really trying to ask him. He scoffs as he shakes his head slowly. “You make it sound like I’m some horrible person. As if I’m doing this just because I can.”

“Honestly Levi, I don’t know what I think anymore.”

He looks away from her quickly so she doesn’t see how much those words hurt him. He needs to act like this; he doesn’t know what else to do.

~~.~~

He knows he shouldn’t be doing it, knows that there are plenty of other ways to deal with this and yet this is the only thing he wants to do.

His mind is blank as he lifts his almost empty glass back up to his lips, staring around the half empty bar as the dark liquid slides down his throat. The people around him look laughably desperate as they try to catch the eye of anyone who happens to be looking their way. Levi’s eyes scan the crowd, not looking for anything in particular, just looking, as he downs the rest of his drink and orders another. The bartender gives him a weary look that he ignores before pouring his requested liquor and hands it to him. Levi takes a sip immediately, his mouth quirks up into a slight smile as the numb lull begins to settle in his bones. He looks into the crowd again, almost laughing when a guy makes eye contact and winks, as if it would be that easy. His smirk grows as his eyes move on, bringing the glass to his lips once again.

He leans back in his stool slightly, his elbow resting on the bar behind him and stares at nothing, only interested in what’s swirling around in his glass. He senses that someone has come over to him and shifts his glance sideways giving them an annoyed glance for interrupting his solitude.

“Hey,” The guys greets, pulling out the seat next to Levi and sitting down without asking.

Levi only huffs, talking another sip and looks back out into the crowd not in the mood to entertain some random guy.

The guy angles his body towards Levi, trying to engage him in drunken conversation. “I’ve seen you around before, you come here often?”

He almost laughs at how routine the line sounds, though he’s not in any mood to come up with any sarcastic retorts so he simple shrugs. “No.”

“Oh well, a guy like you shouldn’t be sitting alone at a bar drinking.”

Levi’s eyes turn to look at the guy sharply getting a good look at him for the first time. He’ll admit that the guy’s not ugly, wavy brown hair hangs a little too long for Levi’s liking on his head, as glazed hazel eyes stare hopefully into his. He hates that he can’t even look at another guy who’s clearly interested in him enough to come over and strike up a conversation without thinking about Eren. Hates that in his drunken state he wishes that it was Eren’s obscenely large teal eyes he was staring into.

“Do you use that line on everyone?” His voice comes out harder than he meant it to, but once it’s out there is no taking it back.

The guy’s smile falters for a second before righting itself. “Actually no. I don’t really do this.”

Of course it’s a lie, as if Levi would be stupid enough to fall for something like his sweet words and the fact that this guy seems to think he would is just insulting. He says nothing as he looks from the guy to a table of three more all looking his way with drunken smiles on their faces, obviously friends of his. His mood turns sour as the last sip from his glass leaves his throat burning. So this guy had come over here for a dare or something, something that his friends could watch for their own enjoyment. Well Levi is having none of it. He looks back at the guy whose eyes he notices are raking up and down his body with a lustful hunger that is unashamed of itself due to the man’s drunken state. Levi leans in close fooling the guy into thinking he’s making a move as he follows Levi’s lead. He places a hand on the guy’s chest to stop him from coming any closer and speaks in a tone so cold he could have spat ice.

“Go back over to your buddies and leave me the fuck alone.”

He looks taken back by Levi’s blunt rejection as his mouth opens and closes attempting to form words, as Levi pushes himself out of the stool and walks out the door, not sparing any of them another glance.

He pushes the door open being immediately met with the cool night air as the street lights begin to light up one by one, illuminating the path in front of him. He starts walking back to the dorms, his steps stumbling to the side every now and again as he tries to keep his balance. He thought it would be better to walk back instead of catching a cab so he could clear his head of the drunken haze a little bit, but his thoughts almost reluctantly kept circling back to one thing.

…

…Eren.

**~~.~~**

He didn’t want to do anything. He’d been asked to come out by Jean and Marco and though he told them he would he’s yet to peel himself off his bed. He’s been staring at the same ceiling for over an hour, knows every scratch and smudge etched into the paint. The sky is dark outside; he’d watched the shadows play across the ceiling as the sun sunk lower on the horizon before it disappeared completely. His phone lights up in the dark of the room, causing his eyes to squint as he looks to see who’s trying to contact him. Marco’s name flashes across the too bright screen, and Eren lets it ring knowing that his friend is only going to ask where he is and why he’s not with them. Eren can’t be bothered with that, not tonight. He just wants to lie in his bed and think about everything that went wrong and everything he could have done to stop it as he watches the lights from the campus glow patterns across his walls.

He lies for a while longer letting his mind run wild with possibilities when he hears shuffling followed by a thud just outside his door. He closes his eyes again figuring it’s nothing that concerns him when a constant tapping sounds against the hard wood of the door. He gives it a second, hoping that they will just go away and leave him in peace, but it only grows louder and more insistent as the seconds pass by. Another thud sounds then, making the door rattle slightly against the hinges.

“Eren Yeager!”

He sits up at the voice, swinging his legs off the bed and walking to the door quickly. There is no way he’s out there, not now.

Not him.

“Eren!” The voice calls again, causing him to take larger steps. The door has never been that far away but right now, in this moment it may as well have been out of reach.

Another thump sounds against the wood, causing Eren to wonder why no one else has come to see what the noise is all about, though he figures they’re all out by now. Just like he should have been. He’s never been so thankful for ditching his friends on a night out as he is right now. He stops in front of his door as he takes in a deep breath, sweeping a hand through his hair sure that it’s sticking out some place. He tries to ready himself for whatever might be on the other side, and jumps when the thudding starts up again, signalling that he’s taken too long.

He places his hand on the door handle and twists it, letting it open inwards as he stares at Levi his pale cheeks flushed with pink and his hair messy. Levi looks him up and down before letting out a long breath.

“Eren.” He breathes into the silent air between them before stepping forward and placing his lips against his.

Eren’s eyes widen as he feels Levi’s lips move against his, his tongue eager to place itself in his mouth. He pushes against the shorter man gently, only wanting a quick explanation before things get out of control. Levi groans as their lips part, staring up at Eren with hungry drunken eyes. Eren stares down at him, his mind reeling as it tries to make sense of what Levi is doing.

“Levi, Wh-,” He starts, but is cut off by Levi’s lips once again pressed firmly against his. The shorter man pushes him back into the room, making sure the door closes behind them and pushes Eren against the wall. His lips leave his for a second to speak.

“Just shut up, will you.” Before his lips trail wetly down Eren’s neck leaving him moaning at the touch.

He fees Levi move them until the back of his legs connect with his bed and he’s forced to sit down as Levi quickly scrambles onto his lap stripping both their shirts allowing their bare chests to rub against each other. And god Eren missed this, he missed the way Levi would touch him, missed the way their bodies moved together, he missed the moments like this they had even when everything around them was falling apart. They were good like this, but he knows it’s not enough, it never was. And yet he ignores the glaze over Levi’s eyes and the alcohol on his breath because this is what he’s wanted, for weeks now and he’ll be damned if he lets something like rational thought stop him from getting it. So he wraps his arms around Levi’s torso, digs his nails into the flesh hard enough to cause marks and lets Levi do whatever he wants, because that’s enough. And maybe it won’t be enough in the long run, but now, in this moment, Eren can’t think of anything better.


	31. Over?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where everything shatters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN!
> 
> I'm back guys! I actually did not realise how long it's been since I posted part one of this chapter. But I'm back now with Part two which brings the end of this little story of mine. 
> 
> I really hope you guys like it and you have all enjoyed reading my little concoction. It's been a roller coaster ride of emotion and I applaud everyone who has managed to make it to the end (I know some people have not been able to do that)
> 
> Like I said last update. This chapter is inspired by FOOLS - COVERED BY JUNGKOOK AND RAP MONSTER OF BANGTAN SONYEONDAN. please make sure you listen to it! 
> 
> Song link is here ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwVbCIA1hgc
> 
> Also though this is the end of the story. I still have an epilogue and Marco and Jean extra that I will be uploading over the next week or so so look out for that.
> 
> THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Levi wakes up to the light of the rising sun chasing away the shadows from the corners of the tiny room. His head throbs to the beat of someone’s footsteps making their way much too loudly down the hallway. He shifts, feeling his naked skin peel away from something hot lying beside him. He looks down, his eyes heavy as they try to shut once more as he sees soft tanned skin wrapped around his body like a blanket that’s suddenly become stifling hot now that he’s aware of it.

Eren lies next to him breathing deeply, completely unaware of Levi’s confusion as to how he ended up naked in Eren’s dorm room. He looks around for his clothes spotting them crumpled next to the bed and proceeds to put them back on, hoping he doesn’t wake Eren. He sits back down on the edge of the bed for a second staring down at his phone as he tries to get his thoughts together. He’s not sure how he ended up here, obviously he knows he was drunk, but he didn’t realise the feelings he has for Eren that sit just under the surface were so close to making themselves known to anyone but himself. Though as confused as he is he doesn’t remember feeling even a hint of fear last night and that is what he chooses to focus on.

He feels the bed dip suddenly as Eren sits up wiping the sleep from his eyes. Levi looks at him, remembering how utterly breathtaking Eren had looked in the morning. He hates that he’s made himself forget.

“Morning,” Eren sighs sleepily, moving his hand away and staring into Levi’s eyes.

“Morning,” Levi replies softly into the still of the room.

Eren looks at him for a second before his eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Are you going somewhere?”

Levi looks down at himself, remembering he’d been on his way out before Eren awoke. “Yeah I was going to head out.”

Eren’s eyes drop down to the mattress as he tries to put his jumbled thoughts into sentences. Levi stares at him, knowing he wants to say something but trying to give him time.

“Why did you do it, Levi?”

Levi’s eyes widen slightly, he hadn’t been expecting him to be so blunt. The brunette looks up at him with worried eyes.

“Why did you come here last night? You knew I wouldn’t reject you, but this isn’t about that,” He shakes his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “Why did you come back here?”

Levi leans forward, resting his hand on the blanket where he assumes Eren’s knee is. “I missed you.”

Eren gulps not having expected the words. “After the things I’ve done you can honestly say that to me.”

Levi sighs. “We’ve both fucked up and a lot of shit has gone on between us, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you.”

“But I-,” Eren begins when Levi cuts him off.

“Stop, you’re overthinking it. I’m not saying we’re back together, I’m saying that last night happened, we don’t need to pretend that it didn’t.”

Eren looks at Levi’s dressed state again, having no idea what he can say to his words. “Then why are you leaving?”

Levi surprises him by chuckling softly. “Because the sun is almost up and I don’t need people asking questions about why I’m here.”

Eren’s eyes drop at his words. He won’t admit to Levi that he’s upset by his words, but he does understand them. Neither of them needs their friends hassling them on what they’re doing, especially when Levi just clearly stated that they’re not together.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Levi repeats before he walks to the door. “We’ll talk later.”

And then he’s gone, leaving Eren’s mind reeling.

~~.~~

A week later Eren struts into the kitchen whistling a tune under his breath. Mikasa and Jean stare up with identical confused expression as he enters

“What’s up with you?” Jean asks almost accusingly as if Eren has no right to be happy.

He stops whistling to grin at his two friends. “Good morning.”

Mikasa eyes him suspiciously, watching his every move as he makes his way around the kitchen. “Tell us what happened, Eren.”

He looks up at her with a confused expression. “I can’t say I know what you mean.”

“Don’t play dumb. What’s happened?” She looks him over carefully for any sign of a change and huffs when she finds nothing. She’s about to drop it when a thought enters her mind, she knows it’s a long shot but she can’t help but ask. He’s been chipper all week and it’s driving her mad not knowing why. “Has something happened with Levi?”

Eren’s head whips up so fast his calm façade almost cracks as his friends look at him curiously. “W-What would make you say that?”

“Why are you suddenly sweating?” She fires back, not letting him off that easy.

“I’m not,” He responds, laughing slightly to diffuse the tension that has arisen in the kitchen.

“Eren..” Mikasa starts again, when he suddenly grabs his phone off the bench and heads for the door.

“Sorry, I’m going to be late for work,” He yells over his shoulder, not giving either of them the chance to interrogate him further.

Mikasa and Jean remain seated staring at the door with confused expressions, never have they known Eren to go to work half an hour early. He’s hiding something, and they both glance at each other with knowing looks.

They need to find out what.

~~.~~

“Levvvi,” Eren whines as the raven haired runs his teeth over his neck, nipping lightly before continuing on his way. His hot breath is driving Eren mad as he refuses to indulge him.

He feels Levi smirk against his neck but continues to remain silent driving Eren slowly insane as the throbbing of his erection grows more intense by the second. He tries to twist in a way that will allow him to achieve some sort of friction, but Levi stops his movements with firm hands on his hips causing a frustrated whine to fall from his lips.

“Do I sense a hint of impatience, Eren Yeager?” His low voice sounds next to Eren’s ear.

Eren wiggles against the hands holding him still. “Are you kidding me right now, Levi?”

He feels Levi’s hands tighten on him again as teeth sink into his skin just over his collarbone. He lets out a startled gasp at the roughness before a shudder passes through him. Levi remains silent as he continues his assault, moving lower across Eren’s chest. Levi shifts his weight suddenly moving forward on Eren’s lap and brushes against the straining bulge in his pants, Eren moans at the contact as he tries to push himself harder against Levi.

Levi grinds himself down against Eren’s lap causing them both to stifle the moans that they so desperately want to let out. They’ve been keeping whatever it is they’re doing a secret from everyone else so the thin walls of Levi’s dorm offer them little in the way of letting themselves go. Levi grinds harder against Eren, eager to see how far he can push him until he’s no longer capable of restraining his voice. He smirks as he places his lips against the side of Eren’s neck biting down hard enough for Eren to let out a yelp, he grinds his hips down again at the same time he sucks the bite, grinning when he lets out a loud moan.

“Levi! Do you want to keep this a secret or not?” He accuses once his breathing is under control again.

Levi only smirks continuing to grind his hips against him. He lifts his head before catching Eren’s lips in his trying to silence him as his fingers begin to work on undoing the button of his jeans. Eren allows himself to fall into the kiss as he wiggles is hips enough for Levi to get the fabric half way down his thighs. Levi breaks the kiss and is on him in an instant breathing hot breath over his confined throbbing dick as his tongue snakes out of his mouth to lick up the length. Eren shudders attempting to push his hips closer to Levi’s face that only moves further away.

He’s close to letting another needy whine pass his lips when Levi pulls the last remaining confinement away from him, exposing him to the cool room air as it mingles with Levi’s breath over him. Finally he’ll feel Levi on him again. Just as Levi begins leaning down a voice calls out.

“Levi?” Hange’s voice sounds from somewhere in the dorm.

Levi and Eren stare at each other from their positions, both their eyes wide with shock. They freeze in place as Hange’s footsteps echo around the walls as she makes her way towards the bedroom. Levi is the first to move, pulling Eren off the bed with him as he gets to his feet.

“Get in the closet,” He says quickly, causing Eren to stare at him in disbelief.

“I’m not getting in the closet.”

Levi stares at him for a second as Hange stops outside his door. The next second he opens the closet door and pushes for Eren to get inside. The taller man stumbles in due to his pants caught around his thighs and falls against the back wall as Levi shuts the door firmly behind him.

“Levi?” Hange asks again, sticking her head through the bedroom door.

Levi stares at her from where he leans against the closet door awkwardly.

“Hange.”

She looks around the room for a minute, before taking in the flush over his cheeks and his open shirt. “What were you doing?”

He blinks slowly trying to stall for time. “I was, -reading a book.” He glares sidewards at the closet when he hears Eren’s breathy chuckle.

She stares at him, letting him know that she can see straight through his bullshit, before she cocks and eyebrow and gives him a sly grin. “Do you have someone here?”

His face drops; of course she would think he’d be doing nothing else. “What do you want, Hange?”

“I came to see you,” She replies, sly grin still in place. “Is that not allowed?”

“Why?”

Hange looks around the room once again, as if she still suspects Levi has hidden someone somewhere. “Can we talk?”

Her sudden tone change puts Levi on edge causing him to flick his eyes towards the closet where Eren is able to hear every word that is being spoken.  “Let’s talk downstairs.”

She grins as if she was expecting him to say just that. “So there is someone in here.”

Levi keeps his face neutral as he ushers her out of his bedroom, throwing one last glance towards the closet before leading a reluctant Hange out of his dorm.

~~.~~

“You left me in your closet,” Eren accuses, his finger raised to Levi’s chest.

Levi looks unfazed by Eren’s actions as he stares up at him. “If you stayed we could have picked up where we left off.”

Eren feels the blush spread across his cheeks at Levi’s words as he dips his head. “Don’t try and change the subject.”

Levi’s eyes challenge him. “I wasn’t aware that you wanted to talk.”

Eren’s eyes darken at his words as he steps closer to him. “Oh I don’t.” His hand comes up to rest on Levi’s cheek making him unable to turn his head. Eren leans in close causing Levi to lean back as far as Eren’s hand allows getting some distance. “But I think you at least deserve to know what you’re being punished for.”

Levi’s eyes widen as the words sink in. He can’t help the fear that begins to nag at the back of his mind. What exactly does Eren plan to do? He tries to put more space between them but Eren’s hands hold him firmly in place not allowing him to take even a step back.

“E-Eren,” He stutters out, hating how his fear makes its way into his voce.

Eren stares at him as if he hadn’t heard him speak. “You know, I really didn’t like being in there, Levi.” His darkened eyes stare intently into Levi’s who tries to turn his face away, but is once again stopped by Eren’s strong hands. “I really don’t like the way you act, Levi. How you act like you’re so much better than me. That you can control me.” He leans in closer and Levi can feel the ghost of Eren’s lips against his ear, he shivers at the sensation. “You think I will just do as you say?”

Eren moves back then, dropping his hands from Levi’s face. He looks him up and down and Levi suddenly feels uncomfortable under the predatory gaze. He opens his mouth to speak, to ask what the hell Eren is doing when the taller man is on him again, his lips pressing hard against Levi’s. Levi breaks the kiss quickly, staring back up into Eren’s lustful eyes with annoyance.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He spits taking a step back; he’s surprised when Eren lets him.

Eren takes a step towards him, attempting to close the distance again as Levi continues to back up. He’s not sure he wants Eren so close to him right now. Not when he’s acting like this.

Eren tilts his head strangely, his eyes looking at Levi with a lustful hunger. “I’m just letting you know that you can’t get away with these things.”

“Then talk to me!” Levi is surprised when his voice comes out like a desperate plea, he hates that his fear is making its self-known. Yet Eren makes no indication to show that he caught on, causing Levi’s fear to rise. If he doesn’t pick up on it, then he won’t stop. He takes another step back, wincing slightly when his back connects with the wall. The sudden realisation as to why Eren allowed him to move at all hits him.

He let him move because he knew he had nowhere to go.

Eren is in front of him then, his hands firmly on Levi’s hips as he stares into his eyes. “Why are you like this, Levi?”

Levi gulps, unsure how to answer his question.

“Eren, please stop.”

He grins down at him, and Levi can feel his hand moving lower on his body until it stops over his crotch. He’s horrified to realise that he’s hard, how could something that scares him so much also turn him on?

Eren begins to palm at him, pushing his hand harder against him when Levi makes no reaction. “This is your punishment, I’m not stopping.” Is whispered into his ear causing him to shudder again. Eren’s hand grows more insistent against him, yet Levi can’t focus on whatever pleasure Eren is trying to make him feel due to the unbearable fear that the man has evoked within him from his actions.

He manages to get his hands between them, sees the glint in Eren’s eyes as he thinks Levis is finally getting into it. The glint fades quickly when Levi pushes hard as he yells, “Get off me!” Causing Eren to stumble away from him with a dumbfounded expression.

“Levi?” Eren’s voice is quiet as he stares at Levi, his arms wrapped around his body as he tries to get his breathing under control. He steps towards him only for Levi to look up at him with a glare that makes Eren’s blood run cold.

“Get out!” The shorter man yells, thrusting his hand towards the door.

Eren stands there unsure what to do as the shock of what’s happened settles on him. He eventually nods and lets himself out, only glancing back at Levi when he gets to the door. “I’m so sorry.”

Levi laughs then, shocking Eren. The raven haired never looks at him, instead his eyes stay trained on the floor as his laughter racks its way through his body, causing his shoulders to shake. Eren leaves then; there was something off about the way Levi is laughing.

~~.~~

Eren has always hated studying for finals. He writes for pleasure and reads for pleasure. He hates that he has to look through notes after notes on critiques and storytelling just so he can pass a class. It makes him resent his hobby, which causes his mood to turn sour.

He glances at Mikasa and Armin sitting across from him at the table. The library is packed today and they were lucky to get a table as it looks like every student has crammed themselves into the library in a final attempt to raise their grades. His friends look completely immersed in their books; neither has looked up at him since they sat down. He’d tried to focus on his own texts but he can’t keep his mind from drifting to his last encounter with Levi.

He’s still not sure what came over him. And even when he was pushing himself against Levi he knew that he was taking it too far and yet he couldn’t make himself stop. The look in Levi’s eyes as he tried to push him away, tried to get him to stop only made Eren want to try harder to prove that they were good together. That they could make this work. Yet Levi, being the usual voice of reason had squandered that thought when he had shoved Eren away. He doesn’t blame him for his actions, Eren himself knows that it was the only way to stop him, and that thought brings his mood down even more.

He sighs heavily causing Armin to glance up at him, his expression annoyed by being interrupted. “What is it?” He whispers, attempting to keep his voice down even though the whole library is filled with a loud hum from the amount of people in it.

Eren shakes his head, knowing that the blonde doesn’t want to have to deal with Eren’s problems right now. He’s stressed enough with finals as it is. Armin gives him a weird look before his eyes look over his shoulder, and Eren swears his blue eyes darken considerably. Eren leans forward abut to ask what’s wrong when someone clears their throat behind him. He turns around slowly, not sure who would want to speak to him and meets the dark eyes of Hange. She looks awkward as she stands before him, his eyes shift behind her noticing Levi and Petra.

“Do you think we could sit with you guys?” Hange asks hopefully, her hand gestures to the library. “A you can see it’s a bit full in here today.”

All eyes turn to Eren as he thinks about her question. Of course he wants to be around Levi, but does Levi want to be around him? He turns his gaze to Levi who he’s surprised to find is staring at him. Eren turns back to Hange with a shrug as they take their seats, he tries not to focus on the fact that Petra and Levi sit as far as they can from him. Nobody says another word as eyes stick on books as minds become lost in the wealth of knowledge each is taking in. Whispers make their way to Eren’s ears as he tries with everything in him to focus on his work. He finally glances up, ready to tell them to shut up when his eyes lock with Levi’s who had been staring right at him. Eren offers a small smile which to his relief Levi returns, perhaps a little reluctantly.

Eren’s gaze shifts to the side then at Petra who’s glued herself to Levi’s side, she continues to whisper god knows what into Levi’s ear, but Levi looks anything but interested in whatever she’s saying. They continue staring at each other until Levi suddenly pushes himself away from the table and stands up, causing Petra to fall back into her seat to avoid falling on the floor.

“I’m going to get drinks, what do you all want?”

The table speaks out there drink orders and he begins to walk away. He only stops to the sound of a chair being pushed back as Eren stands up.

“I’ll come with you,” He declares, ignoring the looks he gets from his friends. None of them know how to react as they don’t know what is going on between the two lately. So as Eren walks out of the library they stare after them with weary expressions until they’re out of sight.

Eren can feel daggers been stared into his back as he walks beside Levi, he doesn’t need to turn around to know that the gaze belongs to Petra. He smiles smugly to himself, it’s obvious by the way she’s acting that Levi has told her nothing and he’s sure that pisses her of. But it also gives Eren the upper hand. He leans in closer to Levi’s ear to ask where they’re getting drinks, its innocent enough and Levi answers him with no clue as to what Eren is really trying to accomplish. Eren glances over his shoulder slightly when he hears a bang only to actually see Petra staring at him now her hands clenched into fists on the table. He smirks at her as he lifts an arm to innocently guide Levi out of the library.

They end up at Sixty Degrees and are immediately greeted with the smiling face of Marco.

“Hey,” He greets, punching in both Levi and Eren’s orders as he knows them off by heart.

Eren smiles at him, glad that things have gone back to normal even though Eren has been out of it lately. He’s thankful that Marco doesn’t ask about him and Levi, though it’s clear from his slightly furrowed brows that it’s on his mind. They stand beside each other as Marco makes the drinks before handing them over silently.

“I’ll see you back at the dorms later, you still want to study tonight?” He asks, glancing between the pair quickly.

Eren nods and gives him a small smile before turning away with Levi and walking towards the library. He glances at Levi every few seconds, his own concern growing as he notices the expression on the shorter man’s face. He looks troubled by something, though his face remains in its usual hard expression, Eren can tell but the way his jaw is clenched that he’s having a hard time with something. Eren opens his mouth to ask him, when Levi finally turns to look at him.

“Take these,” He says, handing Eren the drinks he had been carrying. Eren takes them with surprise.

“Levi, what?”

Levi looks away from him, pulling his phone out of his pocket to look at it. Why is he acting so standoffish?

“I’m not going back in there,” He states, much to Eren’s dismay.

“Why?”

Levi sighs, not wanting to go into this right now. “I just, I don’t want to go back in there.”

Eren looks down at the drinks in his hands. “O-Okay. See you later than.”

Levi says nothing as he walks away, leaving Eren to walk back into the library alone.

~~.~~

“Can you tell me what’s on your mind?” The words are spoken into the tension between them neither of them feeling comfortable around the other. “It’s obvious something has happened and I want you to tell me what.”

Eren understands partly why Levi has been avoiding him. He knows that he went too far when he tried to prove a point the last time they were together, he isn’t stupid. But he never expected Levi to react quite like this. Because the fact is that Levi is still around, he still speaks to Eren, still allows him to be close to him, yet something has changed. As If Levi was only doing it for Eren’s sake and he doesn’t want that.

He doesn’t want things to be like this.

Levi looks at him, his eyes guarded against the world but mostly Eren. “What do you want me to say?”

He lets out a loud huff, frustrated over Levi’s standoffishness. “I want you to tell me why after everything you’re still acting this way.”

“Acting?” Levi asks, testing the word out for himself. “You think I’m acting?”

Eren gives him a look as if to tell him to stop acting coy. “You know that’s not what I mean.” He sighs. “Look, all I mean is that if we are to continue moving forward you’re going to have to talk about what’s bothering you.”

“Moving forward?” Levi questions, the words sound foreign in the air between them.

Eren gives him a confused look, not sure what Levi is trying to insinuate. “That is what we’re doing, right?”

“Why are you suddenly asking me this? I told you before, we aren’t a couple.”

Eren hates how deeply those words hurt him. He wishes he could put up a cold front like Levi, wishes he had the ability to keep everyone at arm’s length. But he can’t and he’s not sure if that makes him strong or weak but he knows he has to break through yet another wall that Levi has put up between them. He only knows of one way, and though something inside of him is telling him to keep his mouth shut, that now is not the right time. He can’t help but believe that this is his only option. The thought of losing Levi scares him to death and yet the thought of living feeling like he does now scares him more.

He can taste the words, right on the tip of his tongue. A vile taste that leaves his insides churning and he knows that the only way to get rid of the sickness building within him is to say the words out loud. Throw them out into the air and have someone else deal with them, because he doesn’t want to feel this way. He doesn’t want to feel as if he may vomit any moment, nor does he want anybody else to hear them. But really he has no choice.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Levi questions, and Eren realises he’d been staring.

He turns away, closing his eyes and silently willing for everything to be okay. Because right now he doesn’t think they will be, not after this. He breathes deeply, the chilly air rushes down to his lungs making him feel even worse, as if he doesn’t get the words out he’ll be suffocated.

He wants to know what Levi is thinking. Wants to know that nothing will change, its wishful thinking of course, everything will change. And Eren fears it won’t be for the better. He can practically see the way everything will fall apart, and it will begin with the three words that he is practically compelled to utter.

But there’s not stopping it.

“I love you.”

He didn’t even notice himself finally saying the words, and he regrets them immediately. He feels a rush of air hit his face, and he knows that Levi has turned to stare at him. He can see his expression now, even behind his closed lids. Grey eyes are blown out wide and round, forehead crinkled in shock, mouth still set in that firm line. Eren lifts his head, wanting to meet the eyes of his, boyfriend? Fuck buddy? Is that what Levi is? One more time before they are forever taken from him.

Levi says nothing, just as he had expected. Though of course he wishes that he were wrong, that the feeling he had was just that, a feeling. Yet the sickness in his stomach refuses to go away. He feels cheated; he’d finally said the words that had been driving him almost insane for so long, only held together by the promise of ease within him. Yet it’s still here, taunting him.

Laughing in his face.

Levi checks his watch, making a show of acting surprised and stares back up into Eren’s eyes almost reluctantly.

“I’m sorry; I have to get to class,” He mumbles.

He knows that Eren knows that he’s lying. Just as he knows that Eren is going to let him get away with it, if only for the sake of protecting his own heart. He stands up quickly and with one last glance back at the brunette he runs off, heading in the direction of the class he’s already skipped.

~~.~~

He knows now that it was a horrible decision to reconcile with Eren. He should have known there were too many feelings there to just ‘see how things go’. He’s always known that Eren has felt more deeply for him than he has ever said, yet somehow he always managed to push those thoughts to the side. He should have known that decision would bring them to this.

The first time it happened he can blame it on his level of intoxication, when he went to Eren’s dorm for the first time after everything happened. But the other times he’d been with Eren of his own accord and it’s only recently that he’s realised why that is. He didn’t want to admit it to himself let alone Eren, but he feels now the revelation is too much to keep contained within him. And yet he knows that nothing good will come of him telling Eren.

He runs his hands through his hair trying to make sense of the swirling thoughts racking his brain. He reaches into his pocket for a cigarette, knowing that at least one might calm his nerves to some extent. He lights it, taking a long drag and allowing the smoke to fill his lungs before releasing it into the air in front of him. His pace never slows as he walks as far away from Eren as he can with no real direction on where he plans to end up.

It was never meant to end up like this. He never planned on getting in so deep. He should have quit, cut all ties after the punching incident and yet for some reason he was never able to. The thought of Eren was always there, in the back of his mind nagging him. Pulling him back to him. And every time he succeeded, grabbed Levi in his clutches and refused to let go. Yet now Levi thinks he’s gone too far, now that feelings have been said by one and squandered in an instant by the other he’s not sure what he should do next.

He doesn’t want this.

He can’t want this.

He finishes his cigarette a throws it to the ground, squashing it beneath his shoe before continuing.

He knows what he has to do, there was never another choice.

~~.~~

Eren sits beside his phone, hoping with every fibre of his being that Levi will message him. He needs to know that everything is okay. He doesn’t believe that his words were hasty, they’ve known each other for almost a year now and if Levi wasn’t clued in to how deep Eren’s feelings for him were before than it’s about time he was.

Though he knows he shouldn’t have sprung them on him like that, in a way it was just Eren’s way of trying to make things right. Maybe just to avoid the fight that he could sense was about to happen between them, but even so that doesn’t mean the feeling behind his words was lessened.

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by his phone buzzing against the table. He looks down almost chocking on his sheer joy when Levi’s name flashes across the screen.

_‘Can you meet me?’_

He’s surprised that Levi would want to see him so soon, but the thought doesn’t stop him from picking up his phone and typing a almost two quick reply.

_‘Where?’_

It’s a few minutes before Levi replies, leaving Eren’s knuckles strained white as he stares impatiently down at the screen.

_‘The hill where we watched the fireworks..’_

Eren jumps out of his chair so fast the students around him give him confused glances. He apologises quietly to them before grabbing his bag and rushing out of the classroom. He walks quickly through the quad, making his way around students with only the thought of getting to Levi on his mind. He’s not thinking about why Levi wants to meet up in the first place, he only cares that Levi actually wants to see him and that alone is enough.

He slows down as he gets nearer to the hill, not wanting to seem too eager and out of breath when he finally arrives. He makes it the other side facing away from the campus, he spots Levi immediately sitting at the top, his dark jacket wrapped around him as a barrier against the cold as a screen of smoke settles around him from the cigarette he’s smoking. Eren approaches carefully, not wanting to startle him as he make comes in from the side.

“Levi,” He breathes, not sure how he should be treating the situation.

Levi’s light eyes shift to look at him, the expression on his face uneasy as Eren moves to sit down.

“So did you want to talk?” Eren asks, realising he’s going to have to make Levi tell him why he asked to meet him.

“No,” He begins causing Eren to wonder why the hell he asked him here then.

“But you texted me to-,”

“Let me finish,” Levi snaps, glaring at Eren for his conclusions.

Eren puts his hands up in surrender and urges him to continue.

Levi breathes in deeply, thinking of a way to approach this.

“Firstly, I want you to know that I’m sorry about what happened earlier today. I shouldn’t have just run off like that, but I had no idea what else I could do. I shouldn’t have reacted so badly when you said you loved me, and I know that. And secondly, I want to tell you something.”

He breathes in deeply again, steading himself. “The truth is I don’t think I can do this.”

He stares into the distance as he speaks in a hard, protected tone. “I love you, Eren, but I can’t do this. Your feelings for me may not have changed but mine have.” He pauses again, and Eren can see how much he’s struggling with this, how much it’s hurting him even though he tries hard to hide it.

“You terrify me. And I think it’s as simple as that. Every day I spend with you puts me on edge. I want to feel comfortable with you, to feel as if I have nothing to fear. But I don’t, and I’ve tried, but after what happened a month ago I don’t feel like I can trust you to not do it again. And I’ve lived like that for almost my entire life and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to do that with you.”

Eren understands. In the back of his mind he always knew this is the way it had to end up. After he made the mistake of letting his anger control him, he knew things were over. Of course he tried not to believe that, tried to make Levi see that he was sorry, that they could work. But every time he did something, or Levi did something and it messed everything up.

How could two people that love each other not be capable of being together?

His thoughts turn back to Levi when he hears him chuckle; it’s so low that Eren assumes he’s laughing at himself. “You know, I had been expecting you to say those words to me for weeks now and still they shocked me. It was as if we were just doing this, whatever we’re doing, but as soon as you said it I knew you saw a future for us, and somehow that made this real.”

Eren can’t say anything, has no thought in his head other than, ‘ _no, please don’t do this. Don’t leave me.’_

Levi stops again looking at the man who once broke down all his walls and made him feel something. Yet looking at him now, sunken face and dark expression Levi is having an impossible time finding any of the Eren he knew. “And a future with you terrifies me.”

Eren finally finds his voice only to utter a single word. “Please…”

Eren feels horrible as he watches Levi’s eyes brim with tears, the grey sparkling through the narrow stare. Levi lifts his hand immediately rubbing at them as they fall silently down his cheeks. Damn Eren for making him cry.

Eren continues to look at him when Levi lifts his head again, having now given up on trying to stop his tears. Eren can feel himself crying too. He hears Levi draw in a breath before uttering the words that shatter them both to pieces.

“Eren Yeager, don’t you get it? You’re no longer the guy I fell for.”

~~.~~

Eren can’t remember what it felt like. It’s like everything he’s ever experienced, every happy moment in his life was squandered by the words Levi spoke. He can’t remember what it was to feel the joy that he once did.

It’s like the words took something from him that he didn’t even know he had. Because he got there, he finally broke the last wall dividing Levi and himself, he got Levi to fall in love with him and he didn’t even know it.

How did he miss that?

How did he miss the one thing he was spending so much time to achieve?

How did it slip his notice?

Was it that obvious? Did other people know? He feels as if he’s been cheated, why couldn’t Levi just say something earlier? If he did Eren could have fixed this, he could have fixed everything and now he’ll never get the chance, because everything is over. Everything he put his time into over the year has resulted in him standing no further than he had been at the start, if anything he feels as if he’s taken a step back.

He feels something drop onto his wrist repeatedly; he looks down slowly noticing his skin glistening with water. He reaches a hand up to his face, noticing the wet streaks of tears trailing down his cheeks. He hadn’t even realised he’s started crying.

He sits on his bed watching his tears fall onto his skin, his mind blank save for one question that keeps screaming at him for attention.

_What is he supposed to do now?_

Eren will admit he’s never been so unsure of anything in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me..


	32. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they finally tell the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first I'm going to apologise.. You'll find out why.
> 
> And second, now with the epilogue out THIS STORY IS OFFICIALLY OVER! (I do still have the Marco and Jean extra to be uploaded, but the point is the main story is DONE AND DUSTED!) Yaaaayyyy!
> 
> Anyway, this is not how I planned for this to go, but hey I don't think it turned out too bad. Just yeah do not hate me. 
> 
> I want to thank people again for actually reading the story and leaving comments. (yes even the ones who decided to leave me mean messages because of my characters, I appreciate you too)
> 
> So please enjoy (or don't) this chapter and I should have the extra up soon.
> 
> As always leave a comment or kudos, everything is appreciated (:

“Eren?” A head of blonde hair appears from the other side of the doorway. “You ready to go?”

Eren gives himself one last glance in his bathroom mirror, straightens his tie and nods. He tries to give Armin a small smile, but today is not the day for that.

Someone once told him that funerals were not about the end of life, but the celebration of one’s life. Eren could never seem to grasp exactly where that person was coming from, funerals are sad.

_He’s never going to see him again._

So over his life he’d come to the conclusion that that person was full of shit. He wants to smile though, he doesn’t want to think about what he’s about to walk into, but he knows he can’t hide behind his smile. Not anymore.

“Mikasa’s waiting in the car downstairs,” Armin continues before Eren is left alone in his room once more.

 

_You hear about stuff like this on the news. A guy decides to have a few drinks at the pub after work to relax; he’s there for a while and assumes he’s sober enough to drive home. He gets in his car and makes his way into the traffic, he goes just a little over the speed limit because he’s realised he’s running late._

_His family will worry._

_He takes his eyes off the road for a second, only a second._

_And that’s it._

_He drifts slightly out of his lane his car colliding with another coming in the opposite direction and they flip. Spinning off the road in a whirl of bright lights and screeching tires. They come to a stop after what feels like an eternity later and he can hear the cries of people surrounding them as he struggles to get his bearings. He feels warmth spreading down his forehead and on closer inspection with the tips of his fingers he determines it to be blood. There are faces pressing themselves against the windows, each trying to scope out his injuries. But he’s fine. He gets out of the car and stumbles onto the ground, his legs shaking from the shock; someone grabs him by the arm and makes him sit. Sitting on the damp ground his sense of smell hones in on the harsh scent of smoke and burnt rubber hanging in the night air. He turns his head to the side, much to the disapproval of the people around him. There’s another car, the one he hit, laying on its side the shattered glass of the windscreen facing him giving him a clear view of the two men inside. One with dark hair parted perfectly down the middle is trapped against the steering wheel, the other with lighter brown hair hanging slightly forward in the passenger seat, as his seatbelt supports him tightly._

_One is screaming._

_The other is not._

_The dark haired man died at the scene, his injuries too severe to hold on for more than a few minutes. The other one sobbed as he was placed on a stretcher and pushed into the ambulance._

_He’ll never forget that man’s face._

_He was fighting._

_Fighting the paramedics. Fighting the people trying to help them. Fighting himself. The man could only watch, because he knew. He was fighting to be with the other._

_And that realisation made the man sitting on the ground vomit. Because he was fine, in every way physically possible, save for the small cut on his hairline. Absolutely, perfectly fine._

_Though he had just killed a man._

~~.~~

Mikasa is waiting in the driveway just like Armin had said. She’s wearing large sunglasses that cover most of her cheeks, and if it were any other day, any other occasion, Eren would have assumed they were a fashion statement. But he knows all too well that puffy eyes, and tear stained cheeks are what lies behind the dark frames.

He says nothing as he opens the passenger side door and enters the car. They stare at each other for a long moment in silence before Mikasa is leaning across the gears to wrap her arms around him, holding him tightly against her chest. He holds her small body securely within his arms, because there is nothing else he can do. No comfort that he can offer her. Nor her him.

She pulls back from him and turns the key in the ignition, the car is immediately filled with warmth that will never be enough to banish the chill within him.

All three spend the car ride in silence, not one being able to conjure the words that will make one bit of difference. Eren stares out the window, the grey dismal clouds covering the sky matching the day perfectly.

They get to the cemetery early, and as they walk across the grass the realisation of what’s happened hits Eren like a ton of bricks, as his throat becomes constricted. Mikasa and Armin both look towards him with sad smiles, linking their arms through his and making him walk forward.

“It’s not fair,” He whispers.

Because it’s not and they know this, so they both nod and continue walking.

They reach their friends shortly after and Eren watches as Mikasa hugs Jean as he buries his face in the side of her neck. Eren stares on blankly, he never expected this to be so hard. He walks with Armin towards his friends, and is surprised to discover how everyone hugs him and asks if he’s okay. He’s not sure if they’re referring to the events of today or not, and he’s not particularly inclined to find out. So he gives them all a ghost of a smile and hugs them back.

They all end up a little ways in where a coffin is situated, covered in flowers and letters and a green scarf that he had always loved. There are no seats so Eren stands to the left of his small cluster of friends, involved in what’s happening but not at the same time. Mikasa stands beside him, her arm linked into his and he can feel the warmth of her body pressing against his side. He leans into her slightly, reassuringly, not knowing what else he can do. He scans the crowd around them, seeing only few faces that he recognises, all blotched and red with tears. A man breaks away from the crowd and stands in front of them all, he’s the only one who looks completely composed, his face an expressionless mask that does nothing to hep Eren’s mood. He takes a breath, which seems to command everyone’s attention and begins to speak.

“Marco was much loved by the people who knew him…”

Eren blanks out after that, finding his shoes much more interesting than whatever the funeral director has to say. He already knows he’s going to talk about what a great guy Marco was, how loved be was by everyone who knew him, how he was now in a better place. That he would be missed. Eren didn’t need to hear the speech from a complete stranger, it means nothing, because the repetition of the word ‘was’ just makes it that much more clear. That Marco is never coming back. And Eren’s not sure how he can live knowing that.

Even before they all left university Eren managed to distance himself from all of his friends. At first they wanted to be there for him, to help him through his relationship breakdown, but he pushed them all away not wanting to be the kind of person who needed their sympathy. When his course ended he moved away, only keeping in contact with Mikasa and Armin because they refused to let him be alone. He always felt like he didn’t deserve their friendship, he had acted like a sour brat since the breakup, but he was thankful for their friendship. He only heard about his other friends when Mikasa or Armin talked about them, he regrets distancing himself now.

He looks up then and without knowing why he scans the crowd, because he has a feeling, a feeling that things are about to change.

He locks eyes with him across the crowd.

It’s been years and still the light grey eyes that from where he stands he can tell have become considerably darker over the years, still cause his heart to clench painfully in his chest. Though the man looks good, only a year or two showing on his handsome features, Eren can tell in the way the man holds himself that the years have not been all together kind. He never thought this day would come, where he would be standing only a few short meters away and yet his throat constricted so tight no words are able to be choked out.

He never thought the day would come where he would be at a friend’s funeral and yet only be able to focus on the one thing he told himself to forget. And he had. He’d left Levi behind and moved on from all the memories, of course the memories would always be there, he’d found that out the hard way. But he had begun to react less and less to the mention of Levi’s name when his friend’s guards dropped and it accidently slipped past their lips.

He was doing fine.

So then why does he feel like this?

He can’t help but notice the person standing beside Levi, dressed in a black dress that sticks almost like a second skin to her body. He wishes he could be mad, mad because Petra hardly knew Marco. He wishes he could get mad at the fact that she’s here with Levi and somewhere in Eren’s mind he suspects her of marking her territory. He’s not sure exactly what Levi has been doing these last four years, he was always quick to dismiss any news Mikasa may have been eager to share. No way was he putting himself through that again, not when he’s come so far. But of course he’s curious.

Are they together?

He can’t think of another reason as to why she would be here. He glances back at Levi to find him still staring at him, he smiles slightly, his heart clenches when Levi returns the gesture. He watches as Levi moves his hand in a forward motion, urging Eren to face forward and listen to the ceremony. Eren does just that, eager for this all to be over.

 

When the ceremony finishes a little while later they walk across the cemetery towards the carpark, everyone teary eyed and tired, trying to put on brave faces for everyone else, though none are anywhere close to being believable. Eren walks between Armin and Mikasa, he’s still not entirely sure why they feel the need to stand protectively by his side at all times, but he supposes he should feel thankful that they care enough about him to do so.

He makes a point to keep his eyes on the path in front of him, too afraid that they will drift off on their own and force him to see things he has no interest in seeing. The ruse doesn’t last long as his eyes lift to scan the path ahead of him, to his right and then frantically to his left when he sees nothing. He drops his eyes to the ground again, torn. Torn over seeing Levi and Petra together again and not seeing Levi at all. And he finds, though he doesn’t want to admit it that he would take seeing Levi no matter how he comes, because he needs him.

Today made that clear.

Even though he’d spent the last four years wiping all traces of Levi from his life, he’s felt an emptiness that he was never able to fill. And now he knows why, because nothing but Levi could fill the hole the man left in him when he walked out of his life four years ago.

He’s confused when he feels Armin and Mikasa move away from him slightly, he doesn’t get a chance to look up at them before arms envelop his body, it takes a second for his brain to catch on to what’s happening. He lifts his eyes, staring over the person’s shoulder to see his friends staring at the display with sad expressions. The arms around him tighten as strong hands clutch onto his jacket, as if they’re afraid he’ll disappear if they left go. Eren stares at his friends for a second more before bringing his own arms up and encircling the man within them. He can feel the coldness that had settled within his body slowly begin to thaw as the gaping holes within him are stitched back together the longer he’s assaulted with the scent that he tried so hard to forget, yet never quite forget completely. He turns his head to the side, closing his eyes as he nuzzles into the suit jacket of the man hugging him. He sniffles into the fabric, trying to stop the tears that are undoubtedly about to start cascading down his cheeks. He doesn’t want to let go, will do anything to remain here until death takes the both of them. He hesitates when the arms around him begin to loosen, pushing him back until they stretch up to rest on his shoulders.

“You look like shit,” Levi speaks, though his voice is full of wonder and slight endearment as he stares at Eren’s red, puffy face.  

Eren tries to laugh, as a way of distracting himself because the only thing he wants to do is fall back into those arms. “S-So do y-you,” He chokes out, his lips salty from the tears that have run over them. He wipes his hand across his eyes. He wishes he could see him properly, see how much he really has changed, but his current state stops him from doing so. He takes in a deep shaky breath, cringing at the horrible sounds his crying is causing him to make and stares Levi right in the eye. He needs Levi to hear this.

“Levi, I, I-I’m sorry I -. I n-never meant to -,”

Levi shushes him, placing a hand on the side of Eren’s face that he immediately leans in to and Eren is thankful but slightly annoyed that Levi cut his horrible apology off short. He needs him to know.

Levi brushes his thumb softly under Eren’s eye catching a few of the tears and sighs. “Eren Yeager,” He lets out a sad sob at Levi’s use of his full name. Levi looks as though he’s about to say more before shaking his head thinking better of it and instead steps in close and presses his lips softly against Eren’s.

At first he’s surprised; his eyes remain open staring at the part of Levi’s face he can see. His grey eyes are closed as he leans in, yet the furrow of his eyebrows that still remains makes him look pained. Eren wants to take it away, chase away everything that hurts Levi, everything that causes him to suffer. He wants to stay by his side and make sure he’s always okay, even if he’s just a friend, because that’s what this feels like. The soft kiss you give a friend, someone who once meant so much to you, yet no longer does. A kiss to tell them everything is okay, yet nothing will change. It’s the one thing Eren doesn’t want, yet he still can’t seem to let go of. Because Levi is here, and he is so close and Eren closes his eyes and leans down a little so Levi doesn’t have to stretch so far. And his head is screaming happily and his chest is burning with sadness that he fears might consume him at any moment. But he doesn’t pull back, because having Levi like this is better than not having him at all.

He could stay like this for however long Levi allows it, yet the voice calling out his name seems to have other plans.

“Eren.”

He pulls away from Levi and looks over at the intruder. Mikasa stands expectantly beside Armin.

“Eren. We’re all heading to Jean’s house now. Come on.”

They both turn away from him, leaving him to return his gaze to Levi who’s now standing a few feet away. He opens his mouth to speak when another voice interrupts him.

“Let’s go Levi.”

Eren averts his gaze behind Levi to see Erwin, Hange and Petra waiting for him. He looks down at Levi just in time to see the man give him a small parting smile before walking off to join his friends. He stands and watches Levi reach them, he watches as they huddle around him. His chest tightens as Petra’s arm goes around Levi’s shoulders, comforting him, as if she has the right to do so. He stands there until Mikasa shouts at him again, causing him to focus on something other than the hole once again gaping open in his chest.

“Eren. Let’s go.”

 

Eren is amazed by the amount of people that have crammed themselves into Jean’s living room. There is low chatter happening all around him but he can’t seem to focus on a single conversation. He figures people are only talking to take their minds of why they’re all there in the first place. No one wants to think about it, yet Eren is reminded of it every time he looks at Jean.

Jean and him had never been close; both could never seem to get over their loud personalities to really understand where the other was coming from. Eren enjoyed the time he’d spent with Marco, the more timid man Eren always found easy to talk to and knew that he would tell him straight if he was doing something he shouldn’t. He hates the fact that he lost contact with them, hates himself for not allowing them to help him.

Now he’ll never get the chance.

Eren stands up abruptly starling Armin who was trying to talk to him, before walking over to Jean who stands leaning against the wall, his brow furrowed.

“Jean?” Eren whispers, not wanting to startle him.

Jean’s head whips up quickly and Eren can see the tears pooling in his eyes. They stare at each other, neither saying anything as Eren pulls him into a tight hug. Jean’s hands clutch at his suit jacket immediately pulling him against him. It was a weird feeling to hug Jean; he certainly hadn’t been expecting him to accept it just like that. The last time they’d seen each other Jean had yelled at him to get over himself and to not call them. That was months after his break up with Levi, he’s pissed at himself for allowing his stubbornness to let it go on for so long.

He takes a deep breath as he hears Jean sob quietly into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Jean.”

They lean away from each other slightly, looking the other in the eye. Jean wipes his hands across his face, feeling as if he’s shed enough tears but knowing he’s nowhere near finished crying.

“Where have you been, Eren?”

His mouth opens to reply only for him to realise that he doesn’t have an answer. He’s been here all along yet he was too selfish to care about anybody other than himself. He can’t be selfish anymore.

“I-,”

The side of Jean’s mouth quirks up in a sad smile as he reaches his hand out to pat Eren’s shoulder in understanding. Eren’s stomach twists with guilt. Marco died and here Jean is trying to comfort him because Eren is only just realising how alone he’s been all along. He’s stunned into silence as Jean is called away by someone Eren does not recognise.

 

He sits between Mikasa and Armin, his eyes trained on the door as they try to coax him into conversation. More than once they’ve asked why he’s acting like this. It’s as if he’s filling out Jean’s role of the grieving boyfriend, even though he has lost nothing. But they’re wrong, over the last four years he’s forgotten just how much he’s lost.

He hears the door open, his posture suddenly straighter as he leans forward eager to see who’s just arrived. The breath catches in his throat as he sees three people he recognises, followed by a shorter man who causes his heart to physically stop. Jean walks up to them, each of them give him their condolences before joining everyone else in the room. He watches as people shift around making room for them, and he definitely notices when Petra makes a point of keeping herself between Levi and himself.

Eren sips lazily at his drink, not eager to get drunk yet needing something to keep his hands busy. He wants to talk to Levi, wants to know why he did what he did after the funeral, but the sheer amount of people in Jean’s house surrounding them at all times dampens his chances. It’s only an hour later when Petra excuses herself for the bathroom does Mikasa lean over and command Levi’s attention. Eren watches over her shoulder as she makes small talk with him, asking how he’s been and what he plans to do after this. He responds to her questions normally enough, though it’s hard for her to miss his eyes constantly flicking behind her at Eren.

She sighs, knowing that each wants to speak to the other, yet neither is willing to make the first move.

“Can you get me a drink?” She asks Levi, who gives her a weird look as he gets off the couch slowly and walks towards the kitchen. She turns to look at Eren who’s staring at her as if she’d kicked him in the stomach. She’s sighs dramatically again, nodding her head in the direction Levi had just gone hoping he would get the point. He looks at her confused, but she chooses to remain silent as she watches the realisation slowly dawn on him. He’s up in an instant walking after Levi into the kitchen.

Levi hears someone walk in behind him but he pays them no mind until he hears the kitchen door shut, causing him to look behind him in curiosity.

Why would someone close the door?

He can’t say he’s shocked to see Eren standing before him.

The younger looks him up and down slowly before mumbling an unsure, “Hey.”

Levi can’t help but smile at his shyness. “Hey.”

Eren steps closer, his movements calculated and slow as he doesn’t know how Levi will react. “How are you?”

Levi almost laughs; what an interesting thing to ask someone at a wake. “I’m okay.”

Eren nods his head, it seems as though he hasn’t thought further than that.

Levi watches him carefully. He’s not sure what came over him after the funeral. He’d spent the last four years trying to forget everything that could possibly remind him of Eren. He tried to move on, their relationship was toxic from the start and he knew that. But that didn’t stop him from wanting him.

“Did you need something?”

Eren takes another step closer until he’s standing right in front of Levi, looking down into his eyes. “You.”

Levi’s breath hitches in his throat at Eren’s forwardness. This isn’t the same kid that he knew. He can’t help the twist in his gut when Eren looks down at his feet after Levi remains quiet. Now is not the time to act coy.

“Have you missed me at all?”

Eren’s voice is a whisper in the air between them, as he continues to look down, listening to Levi’s steady breathing. Even if Levi rejects him, he can’t bring himself to regret asking the question.

His eyes widen in shock as he feels Levi’s hands on his face as the man holds it gently between them as he silently urges Eren to look at him. Eren does without a thought.

He’s left speechless at Levi’s words.

“Every single day.”


	33. Will You..? (JeanxMarco Extra)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Marco asks a question..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> (A bit later than I originally intended, but still..)
> 
> Anyway, here is the JeanxMarco extra that finally brings this whole story to an end. For the most part I really enjoyed writing it and tonight I finally got the inspiration to finish this off. 
> 
> I really needed this to be over as I have had nothing to do with the Attack on Titan fandom for quite some time now and have been lacking in inspiration and drive to write about the characters. I feel that maybe in the future I might come back to them, perhaps once Season two is out, I do really enjoy writing Levi's character. But until then, maybe check out my other stories.. I hear they're alright.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading and commenting, I have appreciated everything (:

**Three hundred and fifty eight days before the epilogue.**

“Move in with me.”

Marco lifts his eyes from the papers he was going over, and stares at Jean as if he’d gone insane. “I’m sorry?”

“Move in with me,” Jean repeats his tone definite and sure.

Marco places the papers down on the table and stares at his boyfriend. “Don’t you think it’s a little soon?”

“We’ve been together for years, so why not?” Jean states shrugging his shoulders as if this wasn’t the biggest decision of Marco’s life. “Besides you practically live here anyway, and your apartment is across town. I live closer to your work, so wouldn’t it just be more convenient?”

Marco’s brow furrows as he listens to Jean’s words. “You want me to move in with you because it would be more convenient?”

Jean gives him a blank look; damn he can be thick sometimes. He takes a deep breath as he leans across the table towards him. “I want you to move in with me because I love you.”

A blush quickly spreads across Marco’s brown cheeks causing Jean to grin. His grin widens as Marco begins to stutter, he loves to see him flustered.

“B-But Jean, there are things to c-consider. Like what if you get sick of me?”

Jean almost laughs but manages to stop himself when he notices the look of distress on Marco’s face. Instead he smiles, his regular charming smile this time and gestures to his plate. “As if I could get sick of you, you make amazing French toast; I’d keep you around just for that.” He can’t stop the laugh that escapes his throat when Marco’s expression doesn’t change.

He sighs turning serious. He grabs hiss hand across the table, squeezing it tightly to reassure him that he’s completely serious. “Please consider it.”

 

**Three hundred days before**

“Jean, did you eat the last of the coco pops?”

The man in question slides the half empty bowl of brown cereal behind his book as Marco turns around. “No.”

“Oh really?” He asks walking over to Jean’s side of the table and pulls the bowl back out into plain sight. “Then what’s this, huh?”

“Okay, so I might have had one bowl.”

Marco pulls out the chair next to him, sitting himself down and hovering over the bowl of chocolately goodness. “You told me you didn’t like it,” He pouts.

“I actually hadn’t tried it before,” Jean responds, shoving a spoonful into his mouth.

“You can buy the next packet then,” Marco states, grabbing his coffee and standing up.

Jean smiles up at him, they’re so domestic. He glances over Marco properly for the first time that morning and notices the suit he’s donned. “You look hot.”

Marco blushes at the compliment as he hides his red cheeks behind his mug. “I have that job interview today.”

“The one at the high school?”

“Yeah,” He replies, taking a shaky sip of his coffee, it’s obvious he’s nervous.

Jean puts his book down and leans towards him, placing a reassuring hand on his back. “They’re going to love you.”

Marco smiles, still slightly wavering and unsure.

“Trust me. We’ll celebrate your employment tonight,” He continues with a wink, placing a light kiss against his cheek.

Marco smiles properly then, more at Jean’s antics than what he’s actually saying. “I’ll see you tonight.”

And then he’s out the door.

 

**Two hundred and forty days before**

“Who was that on the phone?”

Marco looks up to see Jean coming in the door, already removing his jacket that looks slightly damp from the drizzle outside.

“Mikasa.”

“What did she want?” He’s worried, not because of Mikasa exactly, but because of what she brings.

Namely one Eren Yeager.

“She just wanted to talk. It’s been so long since we all saw each other.”

Jean sighs, coming to sit next to him on the couch. “Please don’t do this, Marco.”

Marco’s eyes are sad as he looks down, turning the phone over between his fingers. “He’s hurting, Jean.”

Of course Jean knew that Marco would bring this up. As soon as he found out who was on the phone he knew this is where the conversation was going. And that makes him mad, because what business does Eren have being in their discussions.

“Stop it!”

Marco flinches back at the hard tone. “Jean -,”

“No!” Jean knows he’s being unfair, but the whole situation is screwed. “If you’re going to ask me to see him the answer is no. I thought we’d both put him behind us?”

Marco looks guilty, and that almost makes Jean’s heart break. Because he knows Marco has been having a hard time with this, no matter what problems they had between them, Marco always tried to see the good in Eren. Jean’s only mad because he doesn’t think that Eren has any redeeming qualities, not after he shut them all out. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“Because I worry about him!” Marco yells, shocking Jean. It’s not like Marco to lose his cool like that. Still, Jean’s anger is just waiting for him to explode at his boyfriend.

“Don’t!” Marco’s eyes widen. “Don’t worry about him! He’s the one that cut us out. He’s the one who decided that our friendship wasn’t good enough for him. He’s the one that chucked us to the side. So forget him!”

Marco says nothing more as he gets up and walks out of the room without another look at him.

Jean slumps into the couch. That was their first big fight since moving in together. And he hates that it’s over someone who isn’t even worth mentioning, let alone fighting over. He feels drained, he knows he should get up and apologise, but finds himself not willing to move.

A while later Jean hears shuffling behind him before the opposite side of the couch dips as Marco sits down.

“Jean, I’m sorry.”

He says nothing as he flicks through the television channels, not wanting to speak on the topic any longer. Marco sighs beside him, he just wants to apologise.

“Look, I shouldn’t have said anything. But I can’t help but worry about him. Do you think that maybe we were too hard on him?”

Jean looks at him then with a piercing glare. The look alone would have been enough to cause Marco to drop it, but he’s immune to it by now, he knows that it’s just Jean putting up a front. He knows Jean still worries about Eren.

“He made his choice, Marco. Don’t feel bad because he’s too much on an idiot to realise just how great you are.”

Marco smiles, knowing that Jean is only trying to make him feel better.

He misses Eren, they all do.

 

**Two hundred days before**

“Hello?”

The voice on the end of the line sounds gravely and harsh, though it holds no real malice.

“Eren?”

He hears a sharp intake of breath followed by silence.

He’s not sure why he called. He should know by now that Eren doesn’t want anything to do with him and yet he can’t continue on how they are. Not when he’s sure there is something he can do.

“M-Marco?”

Eren’s voice sounds so unsure. Marco can understand why, the last time they saw each other Jean and Eren exchanged words that caused more than a rift between them. He hates that he hasn’t seen or heard from him since.

“Marco,” Eren’s voice is surer this time. “Why are you calling me?”

He’s stumped for a moment. The truth is he really only wanted to hear Eren’s voice, he wants to know if he’s okay. Yet his constricted throat allows him to say none of that. Instead he whispers out.

“I miss you.”

They’re both quiet for a long time, neither sure of what to say. Until Eren breaks it.

“I’m sorry, Marco.”

“Don’t apologise to me, Eren,” He can feels his eyes welling with tears and he sniffles to keep them at bay. “Please don’t.”

“I don’t know what else to say,” He whispers, his own throat tight. He hasn’t felt such overwhelming emotions since Levi walked out on him and he silently curses Marco for getting such a reaction from him.

“I-,” Marco begins before he cuts himself off. Eren hears a loud noise in the background and stays quiet, trying to listen in. Shuffling follows as he assumes Marco is moving around.

“Shit,” He curses into the phone, confusing Eren.

“Marco?”

Everything is silent until Jean calling in the background disrupts it. “Marco, are you home?”

“I’m in here Jean.” And then he frantically ends the call. “I’m sorry, Eren.”

The line goes dead.

 

**One hundred days before**

“You know I always expected Levi and Eren to get back together.”

Jean turns his head to look sleepily at his boyfriend. Marco stares up at the bedroom ceiling with a smile on his face, though it’s sad as if he’s recalling a memory that bleeds melancholy.

“I know they had their issues, but somehow I always thought they’d work it out and find their way back to each other.”

“They weren’t good for each other, Marco.”

“Why? Because they weren’t like us? Because they had problems?”

Jean sighs. “Because they had bigger issues than we will ever have.” Marco looks at him urging him to continue. “For one, Levi has some deep seated trust issues and two, Eren is a psycho.”

“Doesn’t that mean that they should have been perfect for each other then?”

Jean laughs, he can’t help it. “I guess that’s true.”

His smile fades quickly.

“I guess some things just aren’t meant to be.”

 

**Thirty nine days before**

“Why are you acting so weird?”

“Why are you hovering?”

Marco pushes himself away from Jean’s chair then, getting some distance. “Why are you so defensive lately?”

“Why are you so nosey?”

“Why are you hiding something from me?”

“Why do you need to know everything?”

This little game is becoming tiresome. “Because I’m worried about us!”

“You’re overreacting.” Jean voice is low, almost bored as his eyes never leave the computer screen.

“I’m overreacting?” Marco can’t believe what he’s hearing. “For months you’ve done nothing but ignore me in favour of staring at that computer screen and doing god knows what. Are you finished with me? Is that what this is, Jean?”

“Stop it!” He yells back, slamming his fists against the table. Marco watches as he shuts the laptop and stands, walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

Jean doesn’t even turn around as he walks out the door. “I’m leaving. Your screeching is getting on my nerves.”

Marco stands rooted in place as the door slams shut, causing the walls to rattle slightly.

When did everything go so wrong?

 

**Seven days before**

**April 7 th**

“Are you ready yet?”

Jean puts his left leg through his dark Jeans and tries to pull them up his legs quickly. “Yeah, just give me a second.”

Marco’s looks at him from the door. “We’re already running late, can you hurry this up a bit.”

Though his words insinuate annoyance his eyes give away the humour he’s finding in watching Jean struggle. “Are they the wrong size? I didn’t want to say anything, but you look like you’ve put on weight lately.”

“Oh shut up, Marco,” He answers, finally getting the pants around his hips and doing the button up. He looks up to see Marco grinning at him from the door. “It’s my birthday, you’re supposed to be nice to me, you know.”

Marco’s expression turns into one of mock offence at his words. “I am being nice. I’m taking you to dinner after all.”

Jean walks over to the door, wrapping his arms tightly around Marco. “I know, and I appreciate that. But you know we could just stay here, order some pizza,” He leans in to kiss his neck lightly, teasingly. “Just have the night all to ourselves.”

He can feel Marco’s resolve begin to waver as he continues to run his lips over his skin, he shudders before pushing Jean away slightly. “Come on, Jean. I’ve had this planned for months, and you are not going to seduce me so you can get out of it.”

He steps out of Jean’s arms laughing as he pouts.

“When are we going then?”

Marco looks down at his watch even though he already knew they’re running late. “Now.”

 

Jean wasn’t sure what to expect from the night. They were never ones for fancy dining so he wasn’t at all surprised when Marco pulls into the parking lot of a diner they’ve been to a hundred times since they began living together.

“You love this place, don’t you?” He asks from the passenger seat. He notices how white Marco’s knuckles are as the skin strains tightly over them as he grips the steering wheel. He opens his mouth to ask if he’s okay when Marco turns to him, a grin on his face.

“We love this place.”

Jean can’t argue that.

They walk in the doors and are quickly greeted and seated at their usual table by one of the waitresses before she takes their drink order. Jean stares at Marco across the table when she leaves, the stupid grin still causing the skin under his eyes to crinkle slightly as he looks over the menu.

They order their meals   and are left by the waitress to stare at each other across the table. Marco’s grin has now faded into a tight line and Jean can’t help but feel a tension between them tonight, one that he’s never experienced before. He doesn’t like it. Marco seems reserved, almost worried about something, his usual composed expression turned into one that is slightly stressed.

“Marco, are you okay?” He asks, because he can’t stand the tension for another moment.

He’s surprised when Marco’s hand reaches out and grabs his tightly across the table.

“You know I love you, right?”

Jean’s eyes widen at the sudden words. “Ah, yeah? Marco, what’s going on?”

He watches as Marco takes in a shaky breath before he stares right into his eyes.

“I didn’t want to make it a big romantic gesture because I know how much you hate being put in the spotlight like that,” He takes in another breath, stumbling over his words. “B-But I need you to know how I feel about you. I love you, Jean. I-I want to be with you forever.”

“M-Marco, w-what are you d-doing?”

He looks into Marco’s dark eyes which are the most serious he’s ever seen them. He smiles slightly.

“Marry me, Jean.”

Jean feels his eyes begin to water at Marco’s words; they’ve never been a particularly cheesy couple and while the proposal is just Marco sitting across the table from him, holding his hand tightly in his with an expression that is bordering on worry the longer Jean keeps quiet, he can’t help but think that it’s as cheesy as they come. Sure Jean’s thought about it, thought of marrying Marco, but he always thought that just being with him would be enough; he wants to stay with Marco forever too. And yet he can’t get his mouth to cooperate with his brain and say the words out loud.

“Jean?” He looks up into Marco’s worried eyes, and yet he still can’t speak.

“Oh god, is this too soon? Have I freaked you out? God if you say no this is going to be so awkward, because everyone is staring at us and our food hasn’t even come out yet and we’re going to have the most awkward dinner. And oh god, I just ruined your birthday, didn’t I? Dammit. Jean I’m so sorry, I take back what I said if that’s what you want. If it’s too soon, shit.” He begins to loosen is hold on Jean’s hand when he grabs it back tightly.

“Marco, shut up,” Marco stares at Jean with matching watery eyes, Jean feels his heartstrings pull tightly. “Are you crying?”

Marco swipes his spare hand across his face trying to rid himself of the tears that were beginning to fall. “No.”

“Marco, look at me.”

Its few second before he moves his arm.

“Yes, I mean I’m a little annoyed that you asked me first. But yes.”

Those words cause the tears to start again; they flow so quickly he has no hope of stopping them.

“W-What?”

Jean squeezes his hand tightly. “My answer is yes, Marco. I want to be with you forever.”

Marco stares at him through blurring eyes as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Y-You were going to ask me? Then why were you crying?”

Jean almost laughs, how could he not know? He lets go of his hand and leans across the table placing both his hands on his face. Marco stares at him, his eyes wide with shock. “Because I’m so happy.”

Marco’s eyes light up as Jean leans forward and kisses him.

“Now stop crying.”

Marco wipes his sleeve across his eyes again, trying his best to no look like a sobbing fool.

The waitress returns with their food then congratulating them both as she smiles at them knowingly before she leaves them to their dinner.

 

They drive home late, much later than they normally would when they go out to dinner. They would have left sooner but they were enjoying the complimentary desserts they received from the restaurant.

They never have desert when they go out.

Marco drives the dark road carefully. Jean has always made fun of the old grandpa way Marco drives, the man had always looked at him seriously, every time stating that road safety is no laughing matter.

Jean always laughed anyway.

“So what happens now?” He asks, leaning back against the seat as he stares out the windscreen.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, do you have any plans for us, or are you just playing it by ear?”

Marco laughs quietly. “Honestly I only planned up to asking you.”

For once Jean is surprised, Marco usually has everything in his life planned out. “I guess we’ll figure it out together.”

He places his hand on his knee and smiles over at him. “I love you, Marco.”

Marco smiles knowingly, “I love you too, Jean.”

He takes his eyes off the road for a second, only so he can smile at Jean.

It was only a second.

And Jean’s eyes are wide in horror, as his face is illuminated brightly by the lights of an oncoming car.

“Marco, watch out!” He screams. Though it’s a hopeless sound, as if he already knows he’s too late but feels the need to do it anyway.

Marco stares forward again, sees the light of the car coming straight towards them, speeding, out of control. He turns the wheel sharply, hoping that it will be enough to get them out of the way, to get them to safety. He knows he’s failed when his body is jolted to the side, a searing pain making its way through his entire body. He tries to scream, but his mouth opens without any sound. He feels his head smash against something, the roof maybe, as the car flips onto its side. He watches as the glass of the widescreen cracks and shatters inwards, the glass stinging his face as it flies against him, cutting his skin.

He wants to tell Jean that it’s okay, that they’ll be fine. That they can plan their wedding and they’ll live together and love each other for the rest of their lives. But he’s afraid the rest of their lives together just got a lot shorter.

The car comes to a halt on its roof, the windows smashed and metal twisted beyond repair. He can feel the steering wheel digging into his stomach and he’s aware instantly that it’s bad. Really bad. He turns his head slightly to look at Jean; whose eyes are open and staring at him in horror.

“M-Marco,” He stutters, his eyes glassy with tears as he stares at him, both covered in blood and struggling to hold on.

Marco opens his mouth to finally tell him. To tell him they’ll be fine, it isn’t that bad, but he knows that’s a lie. He knows that Jean knows he doesn’t have that long. He feels lightheaded as he loses blood, the car spinning as the world around him darkens. He feels warmth against his cheek and instantly knows its Jean’s hand.

_No Jean, you shouldn’t move, you’re hurt._

He tries to speak, to tell Jean that he’s going to be okay, that he’s going to live and that he loves him. But the words never make it out of his mouth; only one long drawn out breath as his body leans forward, weighing down against the steering wheel. The last thing he hears is the sound of sirens coming closer to them which are almost silent over the piercing wail of Jean’s screams.

He just wanted to spend his life with Jean.

That was all.


End file.
